The 1981Baltimore Coltsseason was the 29th season for the team in the National Football League (NFL). The Colts finished the NFL's 1981 season with a record of 2 wins and 14 losses, and tied for fourth in the AFCEast division with the New England Patriots. However the Colts finished ahead of New England in the AFC East based on head-to-head sweep (2–0). The victories over New England occurred on the first and last games of the season; Baltimore lost 14 games in between victories.
The Colts defense had one of the worst seasons in NFL history, setting records for points (533) and yards (6,793) allowed. (The yardage record was later surpassed by the 2012 New Orleans Saints, who allowed 7,042.) The Colts gave up more than twice as many points as they scored (259). Conversely, the Patriots, with whom they were tied in the AFC East, only gave up 48 more points than they scored. The Colts' pass defense surrendered a staggering 8.19 yards-per-dropback, the most surrendered by any team in NFL history.
The season included a bizarre incident in which, during the Colts' 38-13 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles on November 15, 1981, team owner Bob Irsay called plays from the coaches' booth. Quarterback Bert Jones told Sports Illustrated in 1986: "[Irsay] couldn't have told you how may players there were on the field, never mind what plays we had. All he was trying to do was embarrass the coaches and the players. When he told me to run, I threw. When he told me to throw left, I ran right."