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Anal probing is the insertion of an instrument into the anal cavity of a human or animal to assess the condition of the lower bowel. Instruments used include pliers, tongs, fiber-optic cables, syringes, eye droppers, thermometers, and specialized balloons. Anal probing is most often used to identify digestion problems; however, it can also be used to identify parasites, organ damage, anal bruising, and foreign objects in the rectal cavity.
In popular culture
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There were clothes strewn apart, and two of the stocky ones drew my legs apart. The next thing I knew I was being shown an enormous and extremely ugly object, grey and scaly, with a sort of network of wires on the end. It was at least a foot long, narrow, and triangular in structure. They inserted the thing into my rectum. It seemed to swarm into me as if it had a life of its own. Apparently, its purpose was to take samples, possibly of fecal matter, but at the same time I had the impression I was being raped and for the first time I felt anger.
Communion was adapted into a 1989 film starring Christopher Walken.
Alien anal probing has been a comedy staple since 1995, when Saturday Night Live did a segment about it. Examples include:
- In the "Citizen Kang" segment of the Simpsons episode Treehouse of Horror VII (1996), the character Homer Simpson gets abducted by aliens and reacts by saying "I suppose you want to probe me. Well, you might as well get it over with" and starts mooning the aliens. The obviously disgusted aliens however react by saying "Stop! We have reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us!".
- The South Park pilot episode, "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe", Eric Cartman gets an anal probe by aliens. Also, in the episode "The Death of Eric Cartman", Butters is "examined" by a doctor through use of a giant, red, vibrating anal probe.
- A memorable sketch, "Career Crisis", from the TV program The Kids in the Hall S04E11, features two aliens discussing the purpose and motivation for anally probing Earthlings, and that all they have learned is that "one in ten likes it."
- Gaia Online, an anime-based role-playing game website, held a 2006 Halloween event featuring trading of alien, human, and bovine anal probes.
- In the cartoon series Futurama, the character Philip J. Fry is abducted by a flying saucer whose vanity plate reads "PROBE #1."
- In the Destroy All Humans! video game series, there is a weapon called the anal probe, which is shot at people for brain stems.
- In the movie Men in Black II, the character Newton (played by David Cross) raises the question, "What's up with anal probing?"
- In the movie Planet 51, two aliens have a conversation about probing and using corks to prevent it.
- In the "Glee" episode "Britney/Brittany" Brittany says "this reminds me of the spaceship where I was probed"
- In the movie Paul, the character Graeme asks Paul the alien when he first meets him "Are you gonna probe us ?"
- In the movie Evil Aliens a couple is abducted in the beginning of the movie, and the male is anal probed with a fatal outcome.
- In the TV-series Lexx, there are anal probes shaped as carrots that enters the body of a host through their anus, and is then taken over.
- The game Saint's Row IV raised controversy in Australia with one of the weapons included in the game called "alien anal probe". The Australian Classification Board threatened to deny classification to the game unless the offending content was removed. The game has since received classification in Australia.
- Strieber, Whitley, Communion: A True Story (1987), pp. 20-21.
- New York Magazine - Vol. 28, No. 11. "Saturday Night Live at twenty"