Arranged marriage in India

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Arranged marriages have been the tradition in Indian society for centuries. Even today an overwhelming majority of Indians in India have their marriages planned by their parents and other respected family-members. ^[1]. Arranged matches were made after taking into account factors such as age, height, personal values and tastes, the backgrounds of their families (wealth, social standing) and their castes and the astrological compatibility of the couples' horoscopes.

The institution of marriage in India is considered a very important one. In general both the parents and the young people feel that since they were older and wiser than their progeny, they would be able to find a suitable match for their children with more prudence than the latter. Although most marriages are arranged, some couples in India opt for selecting their partners by themselves, based on their direct interaction with those partners. This is often termed as "love marriage" in India. Love marriages tend to be more common in the urban areas. Among the overseas Indians, many marriages are still arranged with the assistance of the parents^[2]. Even the so called love marriages in India generally happen with the approval of the parents, although their blessing may sometimes be reluctant.

In India, the marriage is thought to be for life^[3], and the divorce rate is extremely low. In India, 1.1% of marriages result in a divorce compared with over 45.8% for USA^[4]. The arranged marriages generally have a much lower divorce rate^[5]. The divorce rates have risen significantly in recent years:

"Opinion is divided over what the phenomenon means: for traditionalists the rising numbers portend the breakdown of society while, for some modernists, they speak of a healthy new empowerment for women."^[6]

An arranged marriage is effectively the result of a wide search by both the girl's family and the boy's family. They check for compatibility without using emotions^[7]. It thus incorporates some of the features of modern computer database based matchmaking like shaadi.

[edit] Indian arranged marriages

The following factors are generally considered in Indian marriages to search for compatibility:

• Values and personal expectations: should match
• Age and height: girl should generally be younger and shorter
• Looks: should be acceptable to the other
• Religion: should be same, preferably same sect
• Mother tongue, caste: should be preferably same
• Diet (veg/non-veg/alcohol/smoking): may differ only if acceptable to the other
• Education: comparable educational levels or the boy should be more educated than the girl
• Profession: the profession should be acceptable to the other
• Financial: The boy's current and future financial situation should be acceptable to the girl.
• Astrological signs/attributes: should be compatible, if the two families believe in it.

The parents generally discuss the expectations with their son/daughter before starting to look for a match. The expectations are shared with relatives and family friends who can often bring suggestions. The Indian matrimonial sites attempt to provide databases that can be queried to find matches using similar attributes^[8][9].

Hindu Dharma accords paramount importance to marriage between two people found compatible, and on an auspicious day, chosen to be compatible with the bride and the groom, with the blessings of the elders and in the presence of gods, so that the couple will flourish and walk in dharma, and any progeny conceived after such elaborate rituals would be a blessed soul and good human being.

Once the parents of both bride and groom agree with each in which all the relatives and known circle are called from both sides as a witness and to bless, then in that engagement function itself a date is fixed for marriage as per bride and grooms horoscope and astrologically auspicious day, the priest will announce to all that both the family are agreed to the acceptance of marriage of their son/daughter on the particular date. Then in the name of god both the families exchange fruits and cloths as a symbol of happy acceptance.

An auspicious day is chosen in accordance with the religious almanac and the bride and the groom's horoscopes, also if it is moon's phase (ascending is preferred by some) apart from any other logistical consideration.

The wedding is conducted in accordance with Vedic rites ^[10] and rituals^[11] with the invited guests considered to be the 'society' in whose presence the girl is given away in holy matrimony to the boy.

From that moment on, he is to consider himself responsible for fulfilling her smallest of small desires to the biggest of them, to the best of his ability. He promises to be faithful to her and to worship the ground she walks on. She in turn is to treat him as her lord and master, her guide and adviser through good and bad, for the rest of her life.

[edit] See also

• Nick Hancock
• Samuel Hopkins and Anna Bird
• Arranged marriages
• Punjabi wedding traditions
• Marriage websites
• Matchmaking
• Culture of India
• Marriage in Hinduism

[edit] Footnotes

---