Bald–hairy

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Bald–hairy (Russian: лысый–волосатый) is a common joke in Russian political discourse, referring to the empirical rule of the state leaders' succession defined as a change of a bald leader with a hairy one and vice versa. This consistent pattern can be traced back until as early as 1825, when Nicholas I succeeded his late brother Alexander as the Russian Emperor. Nicholas I's son Alexander II formed the first "bald–hairy" pair of the sequence with his father.

The current "bald–hairy" pair of Russian rulers are the balding Vladimir Putin and the hairy Dmitry Medvedev (who has a full head of hair). Putin was the president from 2000 until 2008, Medvedev held the post until 2012, and Putin became president again in 2012.[1]

Pattern[edit]

The bald–hairy joke is that there is, apparently, a strict rule applying to Russia's politics for the latest two centuries. A bald (or obviously balding) state leader is succeeded by a non-bald ("hairy") one, and vice versa. Whilst this pattern is most likely a coincidence, it has held true since 1825 (with the exception of Georgy Malenkov, who was Premier of the Soviet Union from 1953 to 1955), starting from Nicholas I. However, some videos of Joseph Stalin at the Potsdam Conference showed that he was balding.[2]

Bald leaders Portrait Hairy leaders Portrait
Nicholas I
(1825–1855)
Nicholas I Russia-v2-p240.jpg Alexander II
(1855–1881)
Alexander II's Head.jpg
Alexander III
(1881–1894)
Kramskoy Alexander III.jpg Nicholas II
(1894–1917)
Nicholas II of Russia cropped.jpg
Georgy Lvov
(1917)
GeorgiLvov--fallofromanoffsh00londrich.jpg Alexander Kerensky
(1917)
Alexander Kerensky LOC 24416.jpg
Vladimir Lenin
(1917–1924)
Lenin CL.jpg Joseph Stalin
(1924–1953)
JStalin Secretary general CCCP 1942.jpg
Nikita Khrushchev
(1953–1964)
Nikita Khruchchev Colour.jpg Leonid Brezhnev
(1964–1982)
Brezhnev 1973.jpg
Yuri Andropov
(1982–1984)
YuriAndropov1970.png Konstantin Chernenko
(1984–1985)
Mikhail Gorbachev
(1985–1991)
Mikhail Gorbachev 1985 Geneva Summit.jpg Boris Yeltsin
(1991–1999)
Boris Yeltsin-2.jpg
Vladimir Putin
(2000–2008)
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.jpg Dmitry Medvedev
(2008–2012)
Dmitry Anatolyevich Medvedev.jpg
Vladimir Putin
(2012–present)
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin (2nd Presidency).jpg

Usage[edit]

The pattern is believed to have become well known during the period of Leonid Brezhnev's leadership. In the middle of the 1990s some humorously predicted that bald Gennady Zyuganov would "inevitably" win the 1996 presidential election and thus replace non-bald Boris Yeltsin. In modern Russia the pattern is a frequent subject for jokes and cartoons.[3] It is often used in political journalism:

“Bald, hairy, bald, hairy, bald, hairy - that's how we elect our leaders,” my St Petersburg friend quips when I ask if she voted in the presidential elections. “Think about it: Lenin was bald, Stalin was hairy; Krushchev was bald, Brezhnev was hairy; Gorbachev was bald, Yeltsin was hairy - and Putin is practically bald. Medvedev had to win.”[4]

Other patterns in Russian rulers' successions[edit]

Man–woman[edit]

From 1682 to 1801 there was a strict "man–woman" sequence on the Russian throne: Peter I the Great, Catherine I, Peter II, Anna, Ivan VI, Elizabeth, Peter III, Catherine II the Great, Paul. Emperor Paul changed the rules of succession to the throne so that only men could rule the country, and the "man–woman" interchange was terminated. If Tsarina Sophia (a sister of Peter I and Ivan V and a powerful regent during their minority), is counted as a de facto ruler, then the sequence could be traced from 1676, when another of Sophia's brothers, Feodor III, succeeded to the throne.[2]

Killed–died[edit]

A different sequence is related to the character of death of the Russian monarchs and can be traced from 1730 to 1825 and separately from 1825 to 1917: Anna died, Ivan VI was killed, Elizabeth died, Peter III was killed, Catherine the Great died, Paul was killed, Alexander I died. After in interruption of the sequence, when Nicholas I suppressed the revolt of Decembrists who threatened to kill him and his family, the sequence resumed when Nicholas I's son Alexander II was killed, Alexander III died, and Nicholas II was killed. However, Nicholas's designated successor Michael II was never confirmed as Emperor, and soon after the Russian Revolution of 1917, was murdered by some revolutionary men.

See also[edit]

Sources[edit]

References[edit]

  1. ^ Krulwich, Robert (10 September 2008). "Baldness Pattern: A New Cold War Analysis". WBUR. Retrieved 21 October 2013. 
  2. ^ a b V. Skachko (April 11–17, 2008). Мистика и власть (in Russian) (15). Kievskiy Telegraf. 
  3. ^ "Череда правителей России (закономерность истории): Александр II — лысый Николай … Анекдоты из России" (in Russian). 24 April 2004. 
  4. ^ Catriona Bass (7 March 2008). "Russian politics: the bald truth". The Times.