Bart Simpson's Guide to Life
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Bart Simpson's Guide to Life (UK Edition: ISBN 0-583-33168-8, US Edition ISBN 0-06-096975-X) is a humorous book published in 1993 by HarperCollins. The book was written by numerous authors, but Simpsons creator Matt Groening is only credited with helping it into print.
The entire name of the book is Bart Simpson's Guide to Life: A Wee Handbook for the Perplexed. The book's main purpose is to give supposedly helpful tips and advice on how to cope with life, as experienced by the fictional character Bart Simpson, from the animated television series The Simpsons.
[edit] Introduction
The book begins with a dedication to Snowball I
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- Dedicated to the memory of Snowball I:
- Whenever we hear a cat yowling at 3AM, whenever we slip on a slimy hairball, whenever we inhale the tart aroma of a neglected cat box, we think of you.
[edit] The Rest of The Book
The book is broken down into chapters for each of its subjects, similar to Abbie Hoffman's Steal This Book. The complete list of chapters includes:
- School
- Forgery!
- Show and Tell Ideas!
- Book Report writing!
- Cheating!
- Food
- Donuts!
- Food Facts!
- Table Manners!
- Mealtime fun!
- Health & Fitness
- The Human Body!
- Dr. Barts Miracle Cures!
- Bathtimes!
- Cooties!
- Beauty Secrets!
- Work & Money
- Things to be and not to be when you grow up!
- Work
- Fast Cash
- "How to negotiate allowance deals without getting spanked!"
- After Hours
- Bart and Lisa's dream bedrooms!
- How to stay up past your bedtime!
- Dream guide!
- Parents
- What parents think!
- Lies your parents tell you!
- How to annoy your parents!
- Art & Culture
- Museum Etiquette!
- How to be a Poetic Genius!
- 7 Wonders of the World!
- Science
- Barts Laws!
- Nameology!
- The Tree of Life!
- Last-minute Science Experiments!
- Language & Communcation
- Secret Languages!
- Actions!
- How to be a Transcontinental Trouble-maker!
- Animals
- 9 Types of Dog!
- The Ultimate Dream Pet!
- Animal Brain Twisters!
- Psychology
- Body Language!
- Phobias!
- Dr. Martin Monroe explains "The 3 Types of Brains!"
- Law & Order
- Ways to get out of a fight!
- College of Litigation!
- Laws of the Lands!
- Xmas
- Is Santa Real?!
- The Ultimate Christmas Eve Trap!
- The 12 Days of Christmas!
- Sing-along!
- Last minute Christmas Gifts!
- Strange Facts
- "Weird mysteries of the universe that even I can't explain!"
- Homer Simpson's "Howcumzits?!"
- The Wonderful World of Monsters!
- Aliens: They Walk Among Us!
- Religion
- 7 Deadly Sins!
- Zesty Prayers!
- Annoying Questions to ask your Sunday School Teacher!
- Heaven Vs. Hell!
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