Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit

"Beans, Beans, The Musical Fruit" is a schoolyard saying and children's song about the capacity for beans to contribute to flatulence. The song is also variously known as "Beans, Beans, the Magical Fruit", "Beans, Beans, the Miracle Fruit", and "Beans, Beans, the Wonderful Fruit". One variation of the song (sometimes called the second verse) is titled "Beans, Beans, They're Good for Your Heart."

The basis of the song (and bean/fart humor in general) is the high amount of oligosaccharides present in beans. Bacteria in the large intestine digest these sugars, producing carbon dioxide and hydrogen. These gases are expelled from the body as flatulence.

Lyrics

Various versions of the song exist. These are some examples of the lyrics:

Beans, beans, the magical fruit
The more you eat, the more you toot
The more you toot, the better you feel
So we have beans at every meal!¹

or

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart
The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart, the happier/better you feel
So let's eat beans with every meal¹

or

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart
The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart, the more you eat
The more you sit on the toilet seat

or

Beans, beans, they give you gas
They make you fart, and burn your ass
The more you eat, the more it hurts
So slow down your eating to stop the squirts

¹This line can also be replaced with: "So eat them beans at every meal"

Popular culture references

• In The Simpsons episode Whacking Day and Margical History Tour Bart gets in trouble for singing "Beans, Beans, The Musical Fruit"
• In The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger, "Beans, Beans, The Musical Fruit" is the only thing that Zoltan's raven will say
• In Skullmonkeys during a cut-scene between levels.
• B&M Beans used the first iteration, replacing the last line with "So eat B&M Beans at every meal".

References

Footnotes

General sources

• Dawson, Jim. Who Cut the Cheese?: A Cultural History of the Fart, ISBN 1580080111