Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit

"Beans, Beans, the Magical Fruit" is a schoolyard saying and children's song about the capacity for beans to contribute to flatulence. The song is also variously known as "Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit" and "Beans, Beans, the Wonderful Fruit". One variation of the song is titled "Beans, Beans, They're Good for Your Heart."

The basis of the song (and bean/fart humor in general) is the high amount of oligosaccharides present in beans. Bacteria in the large intestine digest these sugars, producing carbon dioxide and hydrogen. These gases are expelled from the body as flatulence.

also inspired by Jillian L. Reid... AKA Beans

ALSO INSPIRED BY JILLIAN L. REID...AKA BEANS...our blonde little flatulating fruit

love you beans

Versions

Beans, beans, the magical fruit.
Make your pants go tooty-toot.
The more you eat, the better you feel
So eat beans for every meal

Beans, beans, the magical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot
The more you toot, the better you feel...
Lets have beans for every meal!

Beans, beans, the magical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So let's eat beans for every meal!

Beans, beans, the magical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So eat your beans with every meal!

Beans, beans, good for your heart,
The more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the more you eat,
The more you sit on the toilet seat!

Beans, beans, the magical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So lift your leg, and let them squeal!

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart.
The more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the better you feel.
So let's eat beans for every meal!

Beans, beans, the fruitful tart.
The more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the better you feel.
So lift your leg, and let them squeal!

Beans, beans, the musical fruit
the more you eat the more you toot,
The more you toot, the more you want to eat
beans, beans the musical fruit

Beans, beans, they make you fart
the more you eat them the more you fart,
the more you fart, the better you feel
so eat your beans at every meal

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart.
The more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the more you smell.
So eat more beans and fart like hell!

Beans, beans, the musical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you fart, the better for your heart.
Beans, beans, the musical fruit.

Beans beans, the musical fruit.
the more you eat the more you toot.
The more you toot the better you feel
Then you're ready for another meal

Beans, beans, those horrid things.
they blew a hole right through my jeans.

Beans are the best fruit!

Popular culture references

• In The Simpsons episode Whacking Day when Bart is expelled from Springfield Elementary, his parents enroll him in a private Christian school. However he gets in trouble almost immediately for singing "Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit" when asked for a psalm, and is chased from the building by the teacher and other students. In the opening sequence of another episode, Bart can be seen writing "Beans are neither fruit nor musical" on the blackboard.
• In Stephen King's The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger, the first part of The Dark Tower, this song is sung by Zolton, a raven kept by an eccentric young man living in the lonely desert, who provides hospitality to the gunslinger on his quest.
• In an episode of Rocko's Modern Life, Heffer is asked to say a few words and breaks out in the song.
• In the Ed, Edd, N' Eddy episode "Tinker Ed", Ed sings the song but gets interrupted by Eddy, who says, "Shut up, Ed!" and pulls Ed's face away from the camera with his mouth.
• In an episode of Animaniacs, Dot performs a variation of the song in her Poetry Corner: "Beans, beans / The musical fruit / The more you eat / The more they kick you off the air if you finish this poem. Thank you."
• In the video game Skullmonkeys, the main character Klaymen finds a can of beans and eats it while the song is playing in the background.
• In The Jacksons: An American Dream, when the family complains of eating an austere diet of beans, it prompts two of the youngest children to break into a chorus of "beans, beans, the musical fruit" before being silenced by an angry look from Joseph Jackson, who clearly lets it be known that is inappropriate conduct at the dining table.
• In Stephen King's It with a reference to Henry Bower's father's lover, who he shacked up with. She would, like as not, show up with a steaming pail of beans for dinner, and this verse was mentioned: Beans beans, the musical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot, the more you toot the better you feel, then you're ready for another meal.

References

• Dawson, Jim. Who Cut the Cheese?: A Cultural History of the Fart, ISBN 1580080111