Bob Monkhouse

Bob Monkhouse
Born	Robert Alan Monkhouse 1 June 1928(1928-06-01) Beckenham, Kent, England
Died	29 December 2003(2003-12-29) (aged 75)
Years active	1952-2003
Spouse	Elizabeth Thompson (1949-72) Jacqueline Harding (1973-Death)

Robert Alan "Bob" Monkhouse, OBE (1 June 1928–29 December 2003) was an English entertainer. He was a successful comedy writer, comedian and actor and was also well known on British television as a presenter and game show host. Monkhouse was famous for his one-line jokes.

Early life and career

Bob Monkhouse was born at 168 Bromley Road, Beckenham, Kent, the son of Wilfred Adrian Monkhouse (1894–1957), and Dorothy Muriel Monkhouse née Hansard (1895–1971). Monkhouse had an elder brother, John, born in 1922. Monkhouse's grandfather was a prosperous Methodist businessman who co-owned Monk and Glass, which made custard powder and jelly.

Bob Monkhouse was educated at Goring Hall School in Worthing and Dulwich College, from which he was later expelled. While still at school, Monkhouse wrote for The Beano and The Dandy and drew for comics including Hotspur, Wizard and Adventure comics . He established a comics writing and art partnership with Dulwich schoolmate Denis Gifford and the two formed their own publishing company in the early 1950s. Among other writing, Monkhouse wrote more than 100 Harlem Hotspots erotic novelettes.

Monkhouse completed his national service with the Royal Air Force Regiment (RAF Infantry) in 1948. He won a contract with the BBC after his unwitting RAF Group Captain signed a letter Monkhouse had written telling the BBC he was a war hero and that it should give him an audition.

This anecdote was among many which Monkhouse recalled in the BBC Radio 2 documentary Caught In The Draft, written by Terence Pettigrew and presented by Michael Aspel. The programme took a nostalgic look at compulsory national service, which operated in Britain from the wartime years until the beginning of the 1960s. Taking part in the programme along with Monkhouse were Leslie Thomas, the author of The Virgin Soldiers, and the BBC Radio 2 presenter John Dunn.

Monkhouse starred in the first London production of the musical The Boys from Syracuse (Antipholus of Syracuse) in 1963 at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, alongside Ronnie Corbett.

Writing and acting success

Monkhouse's adult career began as a scriptwriter for radio comedy in partnership with Denis Goodwin, a fellow Old Alleynian with whom he also compèred Smash Hits on Radio Luxembourg. Alongside performing as a double act, Monkhouse and Goodwin wrote for comedians such as Arthur Askey, Jimmy Edwards, Ted Ray and Max Miller. In addition, Monkhouse was a gag-writer for American comedians including Bob Hope when they wanted jokes for British tours.

In 1956, Monkhouse was the host of Do You Trust Your Wife?, the British version of an American game show. He went on to host more than 30 different quiz shows on British television. His public profile growing, Monkhouse also began appearing in comedy films, including the first of the Carry On film series, Carry On Sergeant in 1958. He appeared in Dentist in the Chair and later regretted not choosing the Carry Ons over the dental comedies. Other presenting jobs in the 1960s included hosting Candid Camera and compèring Sunday Night at the London Palladium. Around 1969 he was a partner, with Henry Howard, in the London Agency Mitchell Monkhouse. In 1979 he starred in a sketch comedy television series called Bonkers! with the Hudson Brothers, a job he hated.

In the early 1970s he appeared on BBC Radio in Mostly Monkhouse with Josephine Tewson and David Jason.

Stand-up comedy

Monkhouse was a respected stand-up comedian. Known for his talent at ad-lib, he became a sought-after speaker for dinners and similar events. In 1976 he was the speaker at the Mars, Incorporated sales conference at the Excelsior Hotel on Bath Road opposite Heathrow Airport. He had been in a television advert for Polaroid cameras, and he told the joke, 'I am the only man ever allowed to say on television "you take it out and hold it in your hand, and in only 20 seconds it develops - or a minute if you want it in colour."'

Game shows

Monkhouse was well known for hosting television quiz shows. One of his biggest successes was The Golden Shot during the late 1960s and early 1970s. This was broadcast live for 52 weeks a year and drew in up to 17 million viewers. The dozens of other shows Monkhouse presented included Celebrity Squares, Bob's Full House and Family Fortunes. Audiences regularly topped 15 million. In the late 1980s he hosted two series of the revival of the talent show Opportunity Knocks which aired as Bob Says Opportunity Knocks. He then moved to ITV to front two more game shows, Bob's Your Uncle and the $64,000 Dollar Question, neither of which were popular successes.

In 1996, Monkhouse presented the National Lottery show on Saturday evenings on BBC One. The opening to each show would see him deliver several minutes of topical jokes, and on one occasion where his autocue failed, he improvised a new and still topical routine. This talent was used in Bob Monkhouse On The Spot, a return to pure television comedy, in which audience members suggested topics and Monkhouse came up with a routine. Monkhouse returned to quizzes in 1998 when he took over hosting duties on Wipeout from Paul Daniels.

Chat show

After being a stalwart of chat shows, in the mid-1980s Monkhouse presented his own chat show for the BBC, The Bob Monkhouse Show. The show lasted two series and featured many guests from the world of films and comedians of every age. Monkhouse was known among young comedians as a keen supporter of new comedy, and he used the show to introduce older audiences to new comedians. The format of the interviews varied between "true" chat and analysis of comedy, to scripted routines in which Monkhouse would willingly play the role of the guest's stooge. The most notable guest was the comedienne Pamela Stephenson who, after prior arrangement with the show's producer, appeared in a series of fake plaster casts, apparently the result of accidents whilst at home. During the interview she produced a handgun and fired it on several occasions, destroying a plant pot on the set and a series of lights in the studio roof. She then presented a rocket launcher which she promptly 'fired' destroying a television camera. The gun, launcher and camera were replicas. None of this arrangement was known to Monkhouse (although the production crew were aware), who appeared genuinely frightened.

Film and television archive

An expert on the history of silent cinema and a film collector, Monkhouse presented Mad Movies in 1966, in which he presented clips from comic silent films, some of which he had helped to recover and restore. His private film collection was the cause of a court case at the Old Bailey in 1979 after he was charged with attempting to defraud film distributors, but he was acquitted. Many of the films in his collection were seized and destroyed (including what would have been the only surviving copies of many films) before the acquittal.^{[citation needed]}

In 2008, the British Film Institute was contacted by Monkhouse's daughter, Abigail, who asked if they would like to view the collection and provide some advice as to the best way of preserving it. Amongst the discoveries were many radio and TV shows thought long vanished. Dick Fiddy, the archivist said "It's a huge, unwieldy collection which deals with a number of areas. It's not just film and TV. Initially we found half a dozen TV shows that we knew to be missing."

Amongst those shows rediscovered were many that feature Monkhouse himself, including The Flip Side, a 1966 play starring Monkhouse as a DJ with his own late night television show, and the 1958 comedy My Pal about an extramarital affair. The archive consists of 36,000 videotapes, going back to when Monkhouse first bought a home video recorder in 1966. His film archive began in the late 1950s.

The entire Monkhouse film and television archive is now held by Kaleidoscope, including all material previously held by the NFTVA. It was catalogued and restored to digital formats for a major event at BAFTA on 24 October 2009. Chris Perry, part of Kaleidoscope and Kaleidoscope Publishing, said, "We are painstakingly transferring the important contents of the video tapes and restoring radio shows. There are many incredible finds, and the event in October will be an exciting time for all concerned."

In his final years, Monkhouse hosted a show on BBC Radio 2 called The Monkhouse Archive, in which he provided humorous links to clips of comedy acts spanning the previous 50 years. As both an enthusiast of classic comedy, and a keen supporter of young acts, he was ideally placed to select clips.

Awards and influence

Monkhouse became a favourite with impressionists, and, as his style fell out of favour in the 1980s, he was mocked for his slickness and accused of insincerity. He came back into fashion during the 1990s, and appearances on Have I Got News For You restored his popularity. The British Comedy Awards handed him the Lifetime Achievement for Comedy honour in 1995. The Television and Radio Industries Club awarded him a Special Award - for outstanding contribution to broadcasting in 2003. He was surprised on This Is Your Life twice in 1982 and then just before his death in 2003. In a 2005 poll of fellow comedians and comedy insiders to find the Comedians' Comedian, Monkhouse was voted among the best 50 comedy acts.

Personal life

Monkhouse was married twice, to Elizabeth Thompson on 5 November 1949 (divorced in 1972), and then to Jacqueline Harding (b. 1936 d. at Barbados 28 March 2008) from 4 October 1973 until his death. He had three children from his first marriage, but only his adopted daughter Abigail survived him. His son Gary Alan, who had cerebral palsy, died in Braintree, Essex, in 1992, aged 40; this led to Monkhouse's being an avid campaigner for the disabled. His other son Simon, from whom he had been estranged for almost ten years, died of a heroin overdose in a hotel in Northern Thailand in May 2001.

Monkhouse lived in Eggington, near Leighton Buzzard, and had an apartment in London and a holiday home in Barbados.

In his autobiography, he admitted to hundreds of sexual liaisons and affairs, including one with a transsexual, but claimed he only undertook this course of action because his first wife was unfaithful. His regular lovers before his second marriage included the actress Diana Dors, about whose parties he later commented after her death: "The awkward part about an orgy, is that afterwards you're not too sure who to thank."

For most of his career Monkhouse had jotted down jokes, odd facts, one-liners, sketches and ideas in a series of ring binders, which he took with him everywhere. In July 1995, they were stolen and Monkhouse offered a £15,000 reward. They were returned after 18 months, but the thief, although arrested, was never charged.

Monkhouse was a vocal supporter of the Conservative Party for some years, associating himself with them because he wanted to be close to winners. His friend and scriptwriter Colin Irwin revealed that Monkhouse later regretted his public support. He was appointed an OBE in 1993. He died of prostate cancer on 29 December 2003.

Posthumous advertisement

On 12 June 2007, Monkhouse posthumously appeared on a British TV advertisement promoting awareness of prostate cancer for Male Cancer Awareness Week. Using reanimation techniques, Monkhouse was seen in a graveyard next to his own grave (though in reality he was cremated) talking about the disease seriously, interspersed with humorous asides to another camera ("What killed me kills one man per hour in Britain. That's even more than my wife's cooking."). He ended by saying, "As a comedian, I've died many deaths. Prostate cancer, I don't recommend. I'd have paid good money to stay out of here. What's it worth to you?" before walking away from his grave and disappearing. The advertisement was made with the support of Monkhouse's family and supported by poster campaigns, including award-winning panels displayed in London Underground trains. Money raised went to the Prostate Cancer Research Foundation.

Partial career summary

Television

As a performer

• Fast and Loose UK 1954 (with Denis Goodwin)
• Christmas Box UK 1955
• The Bob Monkhouse Show UK 1956
• Beat Up The Town UK 1957
• My Pal Bob UK 1957
• The Bob Monkhouse Hour UK 1958
• The Big Noise UK 1964
• Thirty Minute Theatre:The Flip Side (BBC2 Drama as Jerry Janus)UK 1966
• Mad Movies UK 1966
• The Golden Shot UK 1967-1972, 1974-1975
• Friends In High Places UK 1969
• The Bob Monkhouse Comedy Hour UK 1972
• Celebrity Squares (UK version of Hollywood Squares) 1975-79, 1990-93
• I'm Bob, He's Dickie UK 1977
• Bonkers! UK 1979
• Family Fortunes (UK version of Family Feud) 1980-83
• The Bob Monkhouse Show UK 1983
• Bob's Full House 1984-1990 (later remade as One To Win with Andrew O'Connor (BBC in 1991 & Lucky Numbers with Shane Richie for ITV from 1993 in the UK and Trump Card in the US)
• Opportunity Knocks UK 1987-89
• The $64,000 Question (UK version of The 64,000 Dollar Question) 1990-93
• Bob's Your Uncle UK 1991-92
• All or Nothing at All UK 1993
• An Audience With Bob Monkhouse UK 1994
• Monkhouse's Memory Masters
• Bob Monkhouse On The Spot UK 1995
• Bob Monkhouse - Over The Limit UK 1998
• Bob Monkhouse On Campus UK 1998
• Rex the Runt (1998, cameo)
• Wipeout UK 1998–2002
• BBC New Comedy Awards UK 1999
• Aaagh! It's the Mr. Hell Show UK/Canada 2001

As a writer

• Fast And Loose UK 1954
• Cyril's Saga UK 1957
• Early To Braden UK 1957
• My Pal Bob UK 1957
• The Bob Monkhouse Hour UK 1958
• The Big Noise UK 1964
• The Bob Monkhouse Comedy Hour UK 1972
• I'm Bob, He's Dickie UK 1977
• Marti UK 1977
• Bonkers! UK 1979
• An Audience With Bob Monkhouse UK 1994
• Bob Monkhouse On The Spot UK 1995
• Bob Monkhouse - Over The Limit UK 1998

As an author

• The Book of Days, 1981, ISBN 0099271508
• Crying with Laughter: My Life Story 1994 ISBN 0099255812
• Over the Limit: My Secret Diaries 1993-98, 1999 ISBN 0099799812
• Just Say a Few Words 2004 ISBN 0753509083

As a singer

• You Rang, M'Lord? 1988

As a voice actor

• Rex the Runt 1998 (Johnny Saveloy in "Johnny Saveloy's Undoing")
• Aaagh! It's the Mr. Hell Show 2001 (Mr. Hell in all 13 episodes)

As a character actor

• Jonathan Creek 1998 (Sylvester le Fley in "The Scented Room")

As a TV presenter

• " Comedy Playhouse" 2002 - 2003 (?)

Radio

• Mostly Monkhouse
• I Think I've Got a Problem

Films

• The Secret People 1952
• Carry On Sergeant 1958
• Dentist in the Chair 1960
• Dentist on the Job 1961
• A Weekend with Lulu 1962
• She'll Have to Go 1962
• Thunderbirds Are Go 1966
• The Bliss of Mrs Blossom 1968
• Simon, Simon 1970

Stand-up videos

• Exposes Himself (17 October 1994)
• Live And Forbidden (23 October 1995)
• Way Over The Limit (23 November 1998)

Quotes

Notable one-liners

• "They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now."
• "Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?"
• "Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted."
• "Marriage is an investment which pays dividends if you pay interest."
• "I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my father. Not screaming and terrified like his passengers." (Said on the advert which was broadcast after he had died)
• "Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional."
• "As a comic, you need every wrinkle. Having a facelift would be like asking a tap dancer to have his feet chopped off."
• "I came home and found that my son (wife) was taking drugs - my very best ones too!" (on Have I Got News For You)
• "I see that the Guardian has said that I am a cult." (on Have I Got News For You) (The Guardian being infamous for its accidental spoonerisms)
• "I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate."
• "I'm not afraid of death. The only problem is that you're so bloody stiff the next day."
• "So you are half Welsh and half Hungarian, that means you are well-hung!" (on V Graham Norton)
• (on stage as a veteran comic)"You'll be glad to hear, I can still enjoy sex at 74. I live at number 76 - it's no distance."
• "I can remember when safe sex meant a padded headboard."
• "It got up to 94 degrees today - that's pretty good at my age."
• "I'm from Kent. I hear them whisper it as I walk past."
• On his visits to Princess Grace Hospital for treatment after being diagnosed with prostate cancer--"I've been in and out of Princess Grace more often than Prince Rainier."
• "With my wife it was sex, sex, sex... Yes, three times in 35 years."
• "Should you wish to piss...." (an infamous blooper when presenting The $64,000 Question in which he mispronounced the word "pass")
• "Dulwich College takes me back after seventy years. My mum must have written one hell of a sick note!"
• "The doctor said have you heard of faecal impaction? I said, I think I saw that with Glenn Close" Joking about his cancer battle on Parkinson in 2003.

Game show catchphrases

• "Bernie.... the bolt!" - catchphrase on The Golden Shot.
• "In bingo lingo clickety-clicks, it's time to take your pick of the six"- catchphrase on Bob's Full House.

External links

• Bob Monkhouse at the Internet Movie Database

• BBC Obituary for Bob Monkhouse
• Television Heaven
• Give a few Bob for the Prostate Cancer Research Foundation
• Bob Monkhouse on Chortle
• Bob Monkhouse on British Classic Comedy
• Mad Movies/ Bob Monkhouse at the Internet Movie Database
• The $64,000 Question series 3 final show. Hosted by Bob Monkhouse and produced by Central Television.

Preceded by Programme started	Host of Family Fortunes 1980–1983	Succeeded by Max Bygraves
Preceded by Paul Daniels	Host of Wipeout 1998–2002	Succeeded by Programme ended