Cheese Shop sketch

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John Cleese (right) and Michael Palin (left) of Monty Python performing the Cheese Shop sketch.

The Cheese Shop is a well-known sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus.[1][2]

It appears in episode 33, "Salad Days". The script for the sketch is included in the book The Complete Monty Python's Flying Circus : All the Words, Volume 2.[3]

Contents

[edit] Summary

John Cleese plays an erudite customer attempting to purchase some cheese from The National Cheese Emporium, purveyor of fine cheese to the gentry (and the poverty-stricken too). The proprietor, Mr. Henry Wensleydale (Michael Palin), appears to have no stock, not even cheddar, "the single most popular cheese in the world". A slow crescendo of bouzouki music plays in the background (for which Cleese initially expresses appreciation of the Terpsichorean Muse), but as the sketch progresses it mirrors Cleese's growing anger until he loudly demands the music cease. As Cleese lists increasingly obscure, unsavory, and, in one instance fictional, cheeses to no avail, the proprietor offers trite excuses such as "Ohh! The cat's eaten it." When Palin finally admits that there is no cheese, Cleese peremptorily shoots him, then muses, "What a senseless waste of human life!". He then puts on a Stetson, and the sketch segues into Sam Peckinpah's Rogue Cheddar and a link to the Sam Peckinpah's "Salad Days" sketch.

[edit] Cheeses

Forty-two cheeses are mentioned in the original skit. In the audio version on The Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief (MT&H) album and other live and recorded versions, Cleese also mentions Greek feta.

[edit] Table legend

Color coding of table entries:

  • Original Cheese is mentioned in the Original sketch
  • Other Cheese is not mentioned in the Original sketch
  • One sentence Cheeses are mentioned in one sentence, with only one reply

[edit] Table of Cheeses

The table that follows lists the cheeses mentioned, in order of appearance, the reason given as to why they are unavailable to be purchased, as well as the source (Original sketch, other version(s)) in which that cheese was mentioned.

Cheese Reason not available Source
Red Leicester “...we're fresh out...” Original
Tilsit “Never at the end of the week, sir. Always get it fresh first thing on Monday." Original
Caerphilly "Ah well, it's been on order for two weeks, sir, I was expecting it this morning." Original
Bel Paese “Sorry.” Original
Red Windsor “Normally, sir, yes, but today the van broke down.” Original
Stilton “Sorry.” Original
Gruyère “No.” Original
Emmental “No.” Original
Norwegian Jarlsberger “No.” Original
Liptauer “No.” Original
Lancashire “No.” Original
White Stilton “No.” Original
Danish Blue “No.” Original
Double Gloucester <pause> “No.” Original
Cheshire “No.” Original
Dorset Blue Vinney “No.” Original
Brie “No.” Original
Roquefort “No.” Original
Pont l'Evêque “No.” Original
Port Salut “No.” Original
Savoyard[4] “No.” Original
Saint-Paulin “No.” Original
Carré de l'Est “No.” Original
Bresse-Bleu “No.” Original
Boursin “No.” Original
Camembert “Ah! We do have some Camembert, sir......It's a bit runny, sir....'Well as a matter of fact it's very runny, sir....I think it's runnier than you like it, sir...Yes, sir." (bends below counter and reappears) "Oh...The cat's eaten it." Original
Gouda “No.” Original
Edam “No.” Original
Caithness “No.” Original
Smoked Austrian “No.” Original
Japanese Sage Derby “No.” Original
Wensleydale “Yes. ... Oh, I'm sorry sir, I thought you were referring to me, Mr Wensleydale.” Original
Greek Feta “Ah, not as such.” MT&H
Gorgonzola “No.” Original
Parmesan “No.” Original
Mozzarella “No.” Original
Pipo Crem'[5] “No.” Original
Danish Fynbo (Tybo)[6] “No.” Original
Czech sheep's milk cheese “No.” Original
Venezuelan Beaver Cheese “Not today sir, no.” Original
Cheddar “Well, I'm afraid we don't get much call for it around these parts.” Original
Ilchester “I'll have a look sir.” <looks around beneath counter> “No.” Original
Limburger “No.” Original

"Venezuelan Beaver Cheese" is fictitious but, despite this, recipes for it have since been published,[citation needed] and one online cheese store lists it as an item that is out of stock.[7] It has also been mentioned in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (PC game), Sierra's computer adventure game Leisure Suit Larry 7, and in the webcomic Triangle and Robert.

[edit] Pastiches and parodies

  • The sketch was reworked for The Brand New Monty Python Bok, becoming a two-player word game in which one player must keep naming different cheeses while the other player must keep coming up with different excuses otherwise "the Customer wins and may punch the Shopkeeper in the teeth".
  • In an episode of The Young Ones, Alexei Sayle rushes into a shop (while performing a silly walk), and asks if it is a cheese shop. Rik Mayall, the Palinesque proprietor, replies "No, sir." The punchline is "Well, that's that sketch knackered then, innit?"
  • The "Asian Bride Shop" sketch in an episode of Goodness Gracious Me substitutes descriptions of types of brides. At the end, another customer enters, complaining that his bride is dead - a reference to the Dead Parrot sketch.
  • A pastiche circulated in 2004 to parody the SCO v. IBM lawsuit.[8] The judge, taking Cleese's role, inquires of the Palinesque attorney for The SCO Group as to the evidence he will be presenting for his suit, only to discover after a similar line of questioning that SCO has no evidence at all. The script was a sharp attack on the quality of the SCO lawsuit, implying that it was exceedingly frivolous.
  • In the webcomic The Order of the Stick, it's a polearm shop which has no stock. The characters also work in the Spam sketch, by including the Glaive in the names of polearms until the shop owner says, "I think you're drifting into another sketch, sir."[9] Also noted is that in the bottom of the panel a cat drags out a dead parrot and a python.
  • In the "Weird Al" Yankovic song "Albuquerque", it is a doughnut shop. The scene ends when the shopkeeper reveals that all he has is a "box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" which the main character purchases, opens and is attacked by.[10]
  • The cartoon Histeria! depicts the Boston Tea Party, in which a fake tea shop is set up to distract a British guard. Each time the guard asks for a type of tea, there is a splash heard off screen, and the American says they're out, implying that each particular tea had just been thrown into the harbour.

[edit] References

  1. ^ John Launer (2002), "Professor of cheese", Queen's Journal of Medicine 95 no. 2: 133, doi:10.1093/qjmed/95.2.133, PMID 11861965, http://qjmed.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/extract/95/2/133 
  2. ^ Paul Simpson (2003). On the Discourse of Satire: Towards a Stylistic Model of Satirical Humor. Amsterdam: John Benjamins. ISBN 9027233330. http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=NCW_nvfiUQkC. 
  3. ^ Graham, Chapman (1989), The Complete Monty Python's Flying Circus : All the Words, Volume 2, New York: Pantheon, p. 134, ISBN 0-679-726489 
  4. ^ Dorset Blue Vinney
  5. ^ ChefsRef Encyclopedia - Cheese French
  6. ^ Epicurious Food Dictionary - Tybo cheese
  7. ^ Venissimo Cheese venissimo.com venezuelan beaver cheese
  8. ^ "A bit of humor for this case...". http://www.groklaw.net/article.php?story=2003120501152651#c30361. 
  9. ^ "It's Not A Gaming Session Until Someone Quotes Monty Python". http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0136.html. 
  10. ^ "Albuquerque". http://www.com-www.com/weirdal/albuquerque.html. 

[edit] External links

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