Wilbur was born in New York City and raised in Tenafly, New Jersey. He graduated from Oberlin College in 1975 with a B.A. in Communications, and got a Masters' degree in Divinity from Princeton Theological Seminary in 1979. He spent four years as a Presbyterian minister in Sacramento before becoming a writer. He moved to Port Townsend, Washington and then Hawaii before returning to California to act, studying at the American Conservatory Theater in San Francisco and moving first to Seattle and then to Los Angeles.
Wilbur has had minor roles in several American television series, including Desperate Housewives, ER, Angel, Monk, Ally McBeal, Strong Medicine and True Blood. He also appeared in the 2002 films Getting There and The Rules of Attraction as well as Disfigured in 2008.
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