Cockneys vs Zombies

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Cockneys vs Zombies
Cockneys vs zombies poster.jpg
Theatrical teaser poster
Directed by Matthias Hoene
Produced by
  • James Harris
  • Mark Lane
  • Matthias Hoene
Written by
Based on an idea 
by Matthias Hoene
Music by Jody Jenkins
Cinematography Daniel Bronks
Edited by
  • Neil Farrell
  • John Palmer
  • Limelight
  • Molinare
  • Tea Shop & Film Company
Distributed by
Release dates
Running time 87 minutes[1]
Country United Kingdom
Language English
Box office $18,205 (10 screens)[2]

Cockneys vs Zombies is a 2012 British zombie comedy film directed by Matthias Hoene and written by James Moran and Lucas Roche. The plot centres on a group of Cockneys who arm themselves to rescue their grandfather and his friends from their retirement home as a zombie apocalypse takes place in the East End of London.


In a building site being developed by Hartman Construction in the East End of London, two construction workers discover a 17th-century graveyard ordered sealed by Charles II and are bitten by zombies, setting off a zombie outbreak in the area.

Terry MacGuire and his younger brother Andy are planning a bank robbery so they can save their ex-gangster grandfather Ray's retirement home from being demolished by property developers, along with the assistance of their cousin Katy, hopeless Davey Tuppence, and "Mental" Mickey, an unstable war veteran who has a large supply of weapons. During the robbery, the group finds they've crashed an embezzlement deal between the bank manager and the head of Hartman Construction. Expecting to find a few hundred grand, they find themselves staring at 2.5 million in cash. The bank manager had thought they were from Hartman due to their costumes but realizes otherwise and presses an emergency button to the police. The gang take Emma and Clive hostage. Upon leaving the bank, however, the group finds that the police have been killed by a growing horde of zombies. They escape in a van.

Meanwhile, at the retirement home, the zombies attack the residence. Ray and residents Peggy, Daryl, Doreen and Eric take refuge in the kitchen; Ray also rescues a resident named Hamish and gets him inside.

Terry's group arrive at an abandoned site, where Mickey is bitten by a zombie. Emma pleads with Mickey and Davey to let her and Clive go, saying she does not care about their 'selfish' plans, and Katy tells her that they are not robbing the bank for themselves, but to save the retirement home. Mickey decides to leave and takes Emma and Clive with him and ties them up. After Mickey dies and turns into a zombie, he is promptly destroyed by Terry, who rescues Emma and Clive. Clive picks up Mickey's gun and threatens the group, but is promptly eaten by zombies, shooting Davey dead in the process. The rest of the group escape, on the way stopping to look for Emma's younger sister, whom Terry and Emma find as a zombie, but Emma decides not to kill her in case a cure is found.

Having heavily armed themselves at Mickey's gun cache, Terry, Andy, Katy and Emma arrive in a double-decker bus at the retirement home. There, they manage to break the zombie siege and rescue Ray and the other surviving residents. They all then go into the bus, but it breaks down on the way and the group are forced to abandon it. They eventually find a boat which Peggy steals, but it is still chained up. Ray decides to sacrifice himself to save the others, but he still manages to survive and joins the others on the boat as they make their final escape. On the river, the group wonder what will happen next; Ray tells them that they can take East London back for themselves.


Cockneys vs Zombies would prove to be the final film credit for Briers, who died the following year.

Production and release[edit]

The film premiered at the 2012 London FrightFest Film Festival. It was released on Blu-ray and DVD on September 3, 2013 by Shout Factory! as part of their Scream Factory line up. It has a 20 minute behind-the-scenes featurette, a video to teach the extras how to be a zombie, and the trailer.


The film was received mostly positively by critics. As of April 2014, it holds a Rotten Tomatoes rating of 70%, based on 46 reviews.[3]


  1. ^ "Cockneys vs Zombies". British Board of Film Classification. Retrieved December 30, 2012.
  2. ^ "Cockneys vs Zombies (2012) - Box Office/Business". IMDb. Retrieved December 30, 2012. 
  3. ^ "Cockneys vs Zombies (2012)". Rotten Tomatoes. Retrieved June 16, 2013. 

External links[edit]