David Benkof

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David Benkof (born David Bianco in 1970) is an American journalist-entrepreneur. He was raised in St. Louis, Missouri and then went to college at Stanford University, where he came out as gay his freshman year. In 1989 he served as the international president of United Synagogue Youth.[1]

In 1995, he founded Q Syndicate, a gay-press syndication service that provides columns, cartoons, crossword puzzles and horoscopes to about 100 gay and lesbian newspapers. In 2001, he sold a majority interest in Q Syndicate to Rivendell Marketing, and served as vice president for two years before selling the rest of the company.[2] In 1997 Benkof wrote Modern Jewish History for Everyone and in 1999 Gay Essentials: Facts for Your Queer Brain. In 2002 and 2003 he wrote the column “Over the Rainbow” for Q Syndicate.[3]

In 2003, he announced that for religious reasons he had stopped having sex with men, and that he was shedding the label gay, preferring not to label his sexuality.[4] He has always been a devout Jew, and says that one reason he changed was because "Gay sex is just inconsistent with traditional religious life." To reflect his change in sexual identity, and to honor his late grandfather, Julius Benkof, David Bianco changed his name to David Benkof.[2] He identifies as bisexual, but abstains from having sex with men.[2]

He has since become a strong opponent of same-sex marriage.[5] In response to arguments for gay marriages, he wrote "This reasoning is not only flawed, it insults the millions of Americans whose traditional faiths call on us to defend marriage as a central institution in society defined as a union between a man and a woman."[6] Benkof has made it clear that his objection to same-sex relationships is based in part on his personal religious beliefs, stating, "I happen to believe that God has been clear to the Jewish people that we should be pursuing opposite-sex relationships, and particularly not having intercourse between two males."[7]

For two months in 2008 he was actively involved in the campaign against same-sex marriage, and to support this campaign he started a blog called Gays Defend Marriage. But in July 2008 he broke with the campaign and closed the blog, writing that he had lost respect for its organizers,[8] and accusing them of tolerating antisemitism and homophobia.[9] While he continues to oppose same-sex marriage,[10] he is no longer participating in the debate.[8]

Benkof spent the 2004-2005 year at Darche Noam/Shapell's, an Orthodox yeshiva in Jerusalem. He then studied at the Hebrew University in Jerusalem during the 2005-2006 academic year.[11] From 2006-2008 David pursued graduate work in American Jewish history at New York University. In August 2008, he began writing a weekly column, Fabulously Observant, for the Jerusalem Post and several other Jewish newspapers. The column discusses "life from the perspective of an Orthodox, conservative, openly gay American Jew in the process of making aliyah".[12]

In 2014, Benkof wrote an op-ed piece in the Times Of Israel called Orthodox, celibate, gay and that’s OK in which he dismissed arguments in favor of reinterpreting the Biblical prohibition on homosexuality. He stated his "message for Orthodox gays": For men like us, following Jewish law about sexuality is an enormous struggle which often takes place without much sympathy or support. God loves us even when we cannot understand why He would limit our sexual options. Ideally, we’ll never have any sort of intimate contact with other men. But any exceptions should be as infrequent as possible, with as few halachic violations as possible. Be especially careful to avoid mishkav zachar. The process of teshuvah exists precisely so people in such situations can pick themselves up, rectify their behavior, and move on. Take advantage of it.


  1. ^ Wall, Alexandra (March 7, 2003). "Queer Jew 'comes out' again -- as celibate, Orthodox". j. Retrieved 2008-07-08. 
  2. ^ a b c Seely, Christopher (Dec. 19, 2003). "Gay Jewish writer gives up sex with men". Southern Voice. Retrieved 2008-07-08.  Check date values in: |date= (help)
  3. ^ Over the Rainbow
  4. ^ Wockner, Rex (February 10, 2003). "David Bianco Would Rather be a Traditional Jew than Gay". GayToday. Retrieved 2008-07-08. 
  5. ^ Benkof, David (November 26, 2003). "Beautiful and loving — but don’t call it holy". j. Retrieved 2008-07-08. 
  6. ^ Benkof, David (January 18, 2004). "The Law and Religion: Religious views have a place in same-sex marriage debate". j. Retrieved 2008-07-08. 
  7. ^ Wockner, Rex (January 31, 2003). "Taking the Gay Out of Gay Press". Gay City News. Retrieved 2008-07-08. [dead link]
  8. ^ a b "Google Cache". Archived from the original on 2011-07-11. Retrieved 2008-07-14. 
  9. ^ Benkof, David (September 8, 2008). "Right-wing nonsense". Black Hills Pioneer. 
  10. ^ benkof, David (July 15, 2008). "The American way: entitled to one's beliefs - and to one vote". San Jose Mercury News. 
  11. ^ "Institute for Marriage and Public Policy". Retrieved 2013-11-02. [dead link]
  12. ^ Benkof, David (September 3, 2008). "Fabulously Observant: Prayer isn't boring, you are". Jerusalem Post. 

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