Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook
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"Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook" is a Monty Python sketch that first aired in 1970.
The sketch is set in Britain. A Hungarian enters a tobacconist's shop carrying a phrasebook and begins a dialogue with the tobacconist; he wants to buy some cigarettes but his phrasebook is poorly written and the translations of his desired phrases do not resemble in the slightest what he wants to say. Many of them are plainly bizarre and some of them are mildly sexual in nature (for example: "Do you want to come back to my place — bouncy-bouncy?"). After the customer has conveyed his desire in gestures, the tobacconist looks in the phrasebook to find a Hungarian translation for "six and six" (i.e. six shillings and sixpence); he reads out a phrase, which provokes the Hungarian to punch him in the face. A policeman, hearing the punch from a considerable distance, runs to the shop and arrests the Hungarian, who protests absurdly, "My nipples explode with delight!"
The Hungarian is apparently released, and instead the publisher of the phrasebook is taken to court, where he pleads "not guilty" to a charge of "actions tending to provoke a breach of the peace". After the prosecutor reads some samples from the book (mistranslation for "Can you direct me to the station" reads "Please fondle my buttocks"), the publisher changes his plea to "incompetence".
- John Cleese as the Hungarian (and a barrister)
- Terry Jones as the tobacconist (and the judge)
- Graham Chapman as the policeman
- Michael Palin as the publisher
- Eric Idle as the prosecutor
The 1970 version is partly filmed in London in Dunraven Road, near the football ground of Queens Park Rangers F.C..
In other Python works
In the same episode, the Hungarian character appeared in the "Spam" sketch.
The sketch also appears in And Now for Something Completely Different. In this version, another Hungarian tells someone on the street, "Please fondle my buttocks," a mistranslation of "Please direct me to the railway station." The listener then gives the Hungarian directions in English.