Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep
Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep is a poem written in 1932 by Mary Elizabeth Frye. Although the origin of the poem was disputed until later in her life, Mary Frye's authorship was confirmed in 1998 after research by Abigail Van Buren, a newspaper columnist.
Full text 
The "definitive version", as published by The Times and The Sunday Times in Frye's obituary, 5 November 2004:
- Do not stand at my grave and weep,
- I am not there; I do not sleep.
- I am a thousand winds that blow,
- I am the diamond glints on snow,
- I am the sun on ripened grain,
- I am the gentle autumn rain.
- When you awaken in the morning’s hush
- I am the swift uplifting rush
- Of quiet birds in circling flight.
- I am the soft starlight at night.
- Do not stand at my grave and cry,
- I am not there; I did not die.
Mary Frye, who was living in Baltimore at the time, wrote the poem in 1932. She had never written any poetry, but the plight of a young German Jewish woman, Margaret Schwarzkopf, who was staying with her and her husband, inspired the poem. Margaret Schwarzkopf had been concerned about her mother, who was ill in Germany, but she had been warned not to return home because of increasing anti-Semitic unrest. When her mother died, the heartbroken young woman told Frye that she never had the chance to “stand by my mother’s grave and shed a tear”. Frye found herself composing a piece of verse on a brown paper shopping bag. Later she said that the words “just came to her” and expressed what she felt about life and death.
Mary Frye circulated the poem privately, never publishing or copyrighting it. She wrote other poems, but this, her first, endured. Her obituary in The Times made it clear that she was the author of the famous poem, which has been recited at funerals and on other appropriate occasions around the world for 60 years.
The poem was introduced to many in Britain when it was read by the father of a soldier killed by a bomb in Northern Ireland. The soldier's father read the poem on BBC radio in 1995 in remembrance of his son, who had left the poem among his personal effects in an envelope addressed 'To all my loved ones'. The authorship of the poem was established a few years later after an investigation by journalist Abigail Van Buren.
It has become a very popular poem and a common reading for funerals.
BBC poll 
To coincide with National Poetry Day 1995, the British television programme The Bookworm conducted a poll to discover the nation's favourite poems, and subsequently published the winning poems in book form. The book's preface stated that "Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" was "the unexpected poetry success of the year from Bookworm's point of view"; the poem had "provoked an extraordinary response... the requests started coming in almost immediately and over the following weeks the demand rose to a total of some thirty thousand. In some respects it became the nation's favourite poem by proxy... despite it being outside the competition." This was all the more remarkable, since the name and nationality of the American poet did not become known until several years later. In 2004 The Times wrote: "The verse demonstrated a remarkable power to soothe loss. It became popular, crossing national boundaries for use on bereavement cards and at funerals regardless of race, religion or social status".
Derivative works 
Several notable choral compositions, pop songs, and other creative works have been based on "Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep", adapting lines from Frye's poem as lyrics.
Sunlight (song by Benci) 
Benci's Sunlight appearing on his debut Surftime EP (2012) is a new adaptation of the poem as a surf-rock song. The music and the melody evokes and conveys the sentiments highlighted by the poem. The wailing guitar reflects sadness, while a sense of hope and renewal is instilled by the reinvigorated rhythm.
... I am not there ... (composition by Rocky J. Reuter) 
Rocky J. Reuter's ... I am not there ... (2007) is a setting of the poem for Chorus and Orchestra, commissioned by conductor/hornist Nicholas J. Perrini for the Capital Orchestra and in remembrance of his second wife, Nancy Brown Perrini. The work, evoking a metaphorical large sigh, features lush, rich string and choral harmonies interrupted by brass and woodwind dissonances that represent the cancer that invaded Nancy's body. The work is extremely moving and features a countertenor line that carries the soul to heaven at the conclusion of the work.
Requiem (composition by Eleanor Joanne Daley) 
Eleanor Joanne Daley's Requiem (1993) includes a movement titled "In Remembrance", which uses the poem as its text. The movement has also been published as a stand-alone work.
"Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" (song by Wilbur Skeels) 
In 1996, Wilbur Skeels recast Frye's poem as a song. Skeel's version began with the same two opening sentences and ended with the same sequence, but included an altered middle section. Mary Frye's original lyrics are public domain but those by Wilbur Skeels are protected by copyright.
"The Ballad of Mairéad Farrell" (song by Seanchai and the Unity Squad) 
On Seanchai and the Unity Squad's 1998 album Rebel Hip Hop, the song "The Ballad of Mairéad Farrell" tells the story of Mairéad Farrell, a member of the Irish Republican Army, and her imprisonment and eventual death at the hands of British security forces in Gibraltar. The song uses the opening couplet from the poem, and alters the closing couplet to say, "Do not stand at my grave and cry / When Ireland lives, I do not die."
"Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" (composition by Paul K. Joyce) 
At the request of a friend who had been diagnosed with cancer, composer Paul K. Joyce wrote a song for her funeral, setting the text of "Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" to music. Joyce subsequently incorporated the composition into a larger oratorio (1998) and the score for a BBC adaptation of Hans Christian Andersen's The Snow Queen (2005).
"Tom Medlin" (Crumble Lane song) 
The band Crumble Lane turned the poem into a song called "Tom Medlin" on their first album, Operation Overlord (2002)."Tom Medlin by Crumble Lane".
"Prayer" (song by Lizzie West) 
"Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" (choral composition by Joseph Twist) 
In 2004, Australian composer Joseph Twist set the poem to music for a capella voices (SATB div) with slight alterations to the words. This arrangement was commissioned by and subsequently dedicated to Graeme Morton and the National Youth Choir of Australia.
"Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" (choral song by Libera) 
"Sir William" (Destroid song) 
"A Thousand Winds" (song by Man Arai) 
Japanese singer-songwriter Man Arai translated the poem into Japanese and composed the song "千の風になって" (translation: "Become A Thousand Winds"), originally sung by Man Arai himself. Other singers later covered the song, among them Japanese tenor Masafumi Akikawa. The tenor made the song popular after performing it during the 57th NHK Kōhaku Uta Gassen on December 31, 2006. In January 2007, it became the first classical music piece to top the Oricon weekly singles chart and became the first classical music piece to top the Oricon yearly singles chart. Another version of this song appeared on Hayley Westenra's 2008 album Hayley Sings Japanese Songs (with the title "Sen No Kaze Ni Natte").
"The Soft Stars that Shine at Night" (choral composition by David Bedford) 
In 2006, several choirs in the United Kingdom commissioned a choral work from David Bedford through the organization Making Music. The resulting piece, entitled The Soft Stars that Shine at Night, was first performed in 2007. Its last movement is a setting of this poem, with slight alterations to the words.
Eternal Light: A Requiem (composition by Howard Goodall) 
Howard Goodall's choral orchestral work Eternal Light: A Requiem was recorded in 2008 with the Choir of Christ Church Cathedral, Oxford. "Do not stand" is in the Lacrymosa which is track 5.
"A Thousand Winds" (song by Kim Hyo Keun) 
In 2008, Korean composer Kim Hyo Keun translated the poem into Korean and composed the song "A Thousand Winds" (내 영혼 바람되어).
"Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" (song by Harry Manx and Kevin Breit) 
"You Will Make It" (song by Jem) 
The poem appears at the end of the song "You Will Make It" by Welsh singer-songwriter Jem. This song, which appeared on the 2011 album Ten Years On: A Collection of Songs In Remembrance of September 11th 2001, is a duet with South African singer-songwriter and poet-activist Vusi Mahlasela.
"Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" (song by Tom Read) 
A song based on the poem was included on the album Compass by Tom Read, worship leader of the Vine Church in Hong Kong, released on Kingsway Music on 17 September 2012. It is also featured on a music video directed by William Ng. Compass topped the iTunes music album chart on 19 September 2012.
A Thousand Winds (short film by Carl Davis) 
The short film A Thousand Winds (2012), directed by Carl Davis, uses part of the poem in altered form. It has been broken up into smaller sections and is used as part of the narrated dialogue.
Alicia's Poem (quest item in World of Warcraft) 
A quest item' contains a modified version of the original poem, adapted to include references to regions, creatures, and features of the world of Azeroth. The quest' introduces the adventurer to a new region.
The poem has been translated into Danish, Dutch, French, German, Hebrew, Ilocano, Japanese, Korean, Russian, Spanish, Swedish, Tagalog, and other languages. Several Swedish versions exist. One version starts: "Gråt ej vid min grav..." Translated, it reads: "Do not weep at my grave - I am not there / I am in the sun's reflection in the sea / I am in the wind's play above the grain fields / I am in the autumn's gentle rain / I am in the Milky Way's string of stars / And when on an early morning you are awaked by bird's song / It is my voice that you are hearing / So do not weep at my grave - we shall meet again." (Instead of these last four words there is also this version: "I am not dead. I only left".)
Every so often the poem and similar variations appear in death and funeral announcements in Swedish morning papers (such as Svenska Dagbladet August 14, 2010).
On August 29, 2010, the Swedish newspaper Dagens Nyheter carried the following short English version: "I am thousand winds that blow / I am the diamond glints on snow / I am the sunlight, I am the rain / Do not stand on my grave and cry / I am not there / I did not die".
In popular culture 
- A paraphrased version titled "Alicia's Poem" is available as a quest item in the MMORPG World of Warcraft, memorializing a 28-year-old player named Dak "Caylee" Krause who died of leukemia on August 22, 2007.
- A paraphrased version was read by Karen McCluskey (Kathryn Joosten) for Ida Greenberg (Pat Crawford Brown) in Season 4, Episode 10 of the TV series Desperate Housewives, when Ida died following a tornado that hit Wisteria Lane and her ashes were scattered on a baseball field.
- A paraphrased version was read at the graveside memorial in "Desert Cantos", Season 2, Episode 15 of the TV series Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.
- A paraphrased version was read during a funeral in "The Final Act", Season 7, Part 1 of the TV series (UK) Prime Suspect.
- "Mary E. Frye". The Times (London, England). 5 November 2004. Retrieved May 8, 2011.
- "Mary E. Frye" obituary, The Times and The Sunday Times, 5 November 2004. Archived from the original on 31 May 2010. Retrieved on 26 November 2012.
- London Magazine. December/January 2005.
- The Nation's Favourite Poems. BBC Books. 1996. ISBN 978-0-563-38782-4.
- Geoff Stephens. "Who DID Write the Nation's Favourite Poem?" October 2002. Retrieved November 25, 2012.
- The Snow Queen by Paul K. Joyce: History
- "Spirituals". Lizzie and Baba. Section "Prayer: Lizzie West". Retrieved May 8, 2011.
- "Free by Ben Crawley". Boy Choir and Soloist Directory. Retrieved May 8, 2011.
- "Alicia's Poem". Wowpedia. Retrieved May 8, 2011.