Don't Buy This

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Don't Buy This
Don't Buy This
Cover art of Don't Buy This
Developer(s) Various
Publisher(s) Firebird
Platform(s) ZX Spectrum
Release date(s) 1985
Genre(s) Video game compilations
Mode(s) Single player
Distribution Cassette

Don't Buy This (also known as: Don't Buy This: Five of the Worst Games Ever) is a ZX Spectrum compilation. As described on the box, it contains five of the poorest games submitted to Firebird.

Instead of rejecting the submissions, they decided to mock the original developers by releasing them together and publicly brand it as "unoriginal" and "awful". Firebird even disowned all their copyright to the game and encouraged buyers to pirate it at will.[1]

The compilation was sold for £2.50.

Games[edit]

  • Fido 1: A repetitive game where the player controls a dog named Fido to defeat moles and birds[1] to protect an area for several levels.
  • Fido 2: Puppy Power: Basically the same game as "Fido", but Fido can now move up and down, instead of just left and right. Fido can also shoot laser beams from its eyes to destroy other enemies to gain health.
  • Race Ace: A racing game with ridiculously inferior graphics, where the player controls a light blue race car that can turn in only 90 and 180-degree angles. The game is impossible to win, regardless of the speed setting of the player's car because the opponents advance more quickly every time the player turns. On one screen, the game is even erroneously called "Ace Racer".
  • Fruit Machine: The player plays a poorly animated, low-resolution slot machine with reels that don't spin, but move rather slowly. The instructions sarcastically describe the game as a "mysterious, original new game [that] requires skill, timing, nerve and absolute concentration".[1] The music is also a mediocre 8-bit medley of short tunes that play when the character wins.
  • Weasel Willy: A game where a very poorly designed "weasel" has to avoid entirely green trees and its own large, uniform footprints. The trees spawn in random locations whenever a level starts, so the "weasel" may be blocked by trees, preventing the player from even playing the level. The "weasel" may even start a level with a tree occupying the same space as it does, causing immediate loss of the level.

Reception[edit]

Your Spectrum wrote: "The games aren't that bad as do-it-yourself games but, they won't provide that much fun."[2] Sinclair User said it contained "five of the most uninspired games ever to disgrace the Spectrum."[3]

See also[edit]

References[edit]

External links[edit]