Élisabeth de Gramont
Antoinette Corisande Élisabeth, Duchess of Clermont-Tonnerre (née de Gramont; 23 April 1875 – 6 December 1954) was a French writer of the early 20th century, best known for her long-term lesbian relationship with Natalie Clifford Barney. A descendant of Henry IV of France, Élisabeth de Gramont had grown up among the highest aristocracy; when she was a child, according to Janet Flanner, "peasants on her farm... begged her not to clean her shoes before entering their houses". She looked back on this lost world of wealth and privilege with little regret, and became known as the "red duchess" for her support of socialism.
She was a close friend, and sometimes critic of writer Marcel Proust, whom she had met on 9 June 1903. In her youth, Élisabeth de Gramont was a strikingly pretty woman. Opinionated, outspoken, she became openly bisexual by the start of the 20th century, despite being married.
She was born Antonia Corisande Élisabeth de Gramont in Nancy, France. Called "Lily", she was the daughter of Agénor, 11th duc de Gramont, and his wife, née Princesse Isabelle de Beauvau-Craon. Her mother died giving birth to her, and her father remarried the wealthy Marguerite de Rothschild.
Natalie Barney and Duchess de Clermont-Tonnerre first met in the spring of 1909, became lovers on 1 May 1910, a date that became their anniversary. Although neither was faithful to the other sexually, they were devoted to one another for their entire lives. She was married to Philibert, duc de Clermont-Tonnerre and had two daughters in 1909, when she met Natalie Barney. Her husband is said to have been violent and tyrannical, but there is little confirmation to that. The Duchesse accepted Barney's nonmonogamy—perhaps reluctantly at first—and went out of her way to be gracious to Barney's other lovers. For example, she always included Romaine Brooks, another of Barney's lovers, when she invited Barney to vacation in the country.
On 20 June 1918 the two filed an "unofficial" but, at least to them, binding "marriage contract". The contract stated, in part;
- "After nine years of life together, joys and worries shared, and affairs confessed. For the survival of the bond that we believe-and wish to believe-is unbreakable, since at its lowest level of reciprocal emotionalism that is the conclusion reached. The union, sorely tried by the passing years, failed doubly the faithfulness test in its sixth year, showing us that adultery is inevitable in these relationships where there is no prejudice, no religion other than feelings, no laws other than desire, incapable of vain sacrifices that seem to be the negation of life..."
In essence, the contract was a contract that would bind them together, at least in their own minds, but did not bind them to being only with one another sexually. The contract was honored by both until death separated them.
She was divorced in 1920. She participated Popular Front parades, and supported politicians of the left. She died in Paris and is buried at Ancy-le-Franc, near the family castle of Clermont-Tonnerre.
- Almanach des bonnes chances de France, 1930
- Le Diable chez la marquise, Littéraires, ca; 1938
- Autour de Saint-James, Du Pavois (publishers), 1945
- Barbey d'Aurevilly, Grasset, 1946
- La Famille des Clermont-Tonnerre, Fasquelle, 1950
- La Femme et la robe, La Palatine, Paris, Geneva, 1952
- Le Comte d'Orsay et Lady Blessington, 1955
- Marcel Proust, Flammarion, 1948
- Mémoires d'Élisabeth de Gramont, Grasset, 1929
- Souvenirs du monde de 1890 à 1940
Diana Souhami (2007). Wild Girls: Paris, Sappho, and Art: The Lives and Loves of Natalie Barney and Romaine Brooks. Macmillan. ISBN 978-0-312-36660-5.
- Painting of Elisabeth de Gramont by Romaine Brookes
- Through the years