Rules of Acquisition

For the episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, see Rules of Acquisition (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine).

The Rules of Acquisition, in the fictional Star Trek universe, are a set of guidelines intended to ensure the profitability of businesses owned by members of the ultra-capitalist alien race known as Ferengi.

Background

The first rule was made by Gint, the first Grand Nagus of the Ferengi Alliance, a role with political, economic, and even quasi-religious duties. The title of "Rules of Acquisition" was chosen as a clever marketing ploy (since the rules are merely guidelines) and Gint numbered his first rule as #162, in order to create a demand for the other 161 Rules that had yet to be written. The Rules were said to be divinely inspired and sacred (thus furthering the original marketing ploy).

Although it has been stated within Star Trek that there are 285 rules, not all of them have been stated in canon. Most of the rules were written by Ira Steven Behr and he published many of them in a book The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (ISBN 0-671-52936-6), the cover of which credits authorship as being "By Quark as told to Ira Steven Behr." Additional rules were published in Legends of the Ferengi (ISBN 0-671-00728-9), by Behr and Robert Hewitt Wolfe. Behr and Wolfe were both writers for Star Trek: Deep Space Nine with Behr being the Executive Producer of the series.

Examples

The Rules of Acquisition take the form of short aphorisms such as the first rule "Once you have their money, you never give it back," the twenty-first rule "Never place friendship above profit," the thirty-fourth rule "War is good for business," followed by the thirty-fifth rule "Peace is good for business."

Stages of Acquisition

In addition to the Rules, Ferengi recognize five Stages of Acquisition:

1. Infatuation: An unreasoning love or attraction … "I want it."
2. Justification: Moral excuse used to explain … "I must have it!"
3. Appropriation: To take to one's self in exclusion of others … "IT'S MINE AT LAST!"
4. Obsession: A compulsive or irrational preoccupation … "My Precious!"
5. Resale: The action of selling something previously bought … "Make me an offer."

Mentioned Rules

1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.
3. Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
7. Keep your ears open.
8. Small print leads to large risk.
9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10. Greed is eternal.
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
16. A deal is a deal...until a better one comes along.
17. A contract is a contract is a contract...but only between Ferengi.
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
21. Never place friendship above profit.
22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
28. Whisper your way to success.
31. Never insult of a Ferengi's mother...insult something he cares about instead.
33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
34. War is good for business.
35. Peace is good for business.
40. She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.
41. Profit is its own reward.
44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.
47. Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
52. Never ask when you can take.
57. Good customers are as rare as latinum--treasure them.
58. There is no substitute for success.
59. Free advice is seldom cheap.
60. Keep your lies consistent.
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
65. Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff.
69. When she discusses money for "favors", charge her what she'll pay.
75. Home is where the heart is...but the stars are made of latinum.
76. Every once in a while, declare peace....it confuses the hell out of your enemies.
79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
94. Females and finances don't mix.
95. Expand...or die.
97. Enough...is never enough.
98. Every man has his price.
99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.
102. Nature decays, but latinum is forever.
103. Sleep can interfere.... [cut off]
104. Faith moves mountains...of inventory.
106. There is no honor in poverty.
109. Dignity and an empty sack...is worth the sack.
111. Treat people in your debt like family...exploit them.
112. Never have sex with the boss's sister.
113. Always have sex with the boss.
121. Everything is for sale, even friendship.
123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
139. Wives serve, brothers inherit.
141. Only fools pay retail.
144. There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket.
162. Even in the worst of times, someone makes a profit.
177. Know your enemies...but do business with them always.
181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
189. Let others keep their reputation...you keep their latinum.
190. Hear all, trust nothing.
192. Never cheat a Klingon...unless you can get away with it.
194. It's always good business to know your customers before they walk in the door.
202. The justification for profit is profit.
203. New customers are like razor-toothed greeworms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
217. You can't free a fish from water.
218. Always know what you're buying.
223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust.
236. You can't buy fate.
239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
242. More is good...all is better.
255. A wife is a luxury...a smart accountant a necessity.
261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
266. When in doubt, lie.
284. Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.

External links

• Rules of Acquisition at Memory Alpha (a Star Trek wiki)