Goo Goo Gai Pan
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|"Goo Goo Gai Pan"|
|The Simpsons episode|
|Selma and Ling|
|Orig. airdate||March 13, 2005|
|Written by||Dana Gould (under the pseudonym "Lawrence Talbot")|
|Directed by||Lance Kramer|
|Couch gag||The ancillary characters surprise the Simpsons as they run to the couch. Homer has a heart attack.|
|Guest star(s)||Robert Wagner as himself
Lucy Liu as Madam Wu
"Goo Goo Gai Pan" is the twelfth episode from the sixteenth season of The Simpsons, which originally aired on March 13, 2005. The episode focuses on Selma Bouvier adopting a Chinese orphan after experiencing menopause. Lucy Liu guest stars. The original closing credits feature the show's director David Silverman giving viewers a quick lesson on how he draws Bart Simpson.
Selma gives Mr. Burns his driving test to replace his old license, which expired in 1909. During the test, she experiences a hot flash and is taken to hospital. Dr. Hibbert tells her that she is experiencing menopause by using a video featuring Robert Wagner explaining what menopause is and what it means for a woman. Selma is upset that her chances at getting pregnant are gone.Patty suggests that she adopt a child. She almost manages to adopt one of Cletus' many babies, but that fails. Lisa advises Selma to adopt a child from China. In order to adopt a Chinese girl, she has to be married. She puts on her application that she is married to Homer Simpson.
Selma sponsors a trip to China for the Simpsons. When Selma informs Homer that he must pretend to be her husband, he is shocked by this and refuses to help her. Homer later decides to do it for Marge. When they arrive in China, Selma claims Bart and Lisa are her children, while Marge is their nanny, Ms. October. The Chinese adoption agent, Madam Wu (Lucy Liu), tells them they will get a baby in a few days, as she wants to detail the 'marriage relationship' between Homer and Selma (much to both Homer and Selma's dismay). Selma gets a daughter, whom she names Ling.
As they are about to leave, Madam Wu arrives and takes Ling away, stating that Homer and Selma are not married. The Simpsons try to console her. Lisa plots with them to get the baby back. At the nursery, they dress and spray-paints Homer as a cross-legged golden Buddha statue. According to the customs of feng shui, the Buddha statue must be taken indoors, so Chinese guards drag him into the nursery. When the guards leave, Homer goes inside the nursery and grabs Ling.
The Simpsons, Selma and Ling pass through Tiananmen Square, a place where, according to the marker shown in the episode, "nothing happened" in 1989. Madam Wu, in a tank, confronts them and demands the baby back in a way similar to the Tank Man. After an impassioned speech from Selma and Homer, Madam Wu agrees to allow Selma to adopt Ling. Apparently, Wu's father passed away when she was just a baby and her mother had ultimately raised her as a single parent, explaining her leniency (though she does stop Homer smuggling a panda cub in his luggage). Selma, Ling, and the Simpsons depart China by junk except for Bart, who is replaced by a Chinese child spy masquerading as him to deceive Homer. The episode ends with three dragons flying in the sky and singing while playing an erhu.
- The Simpsons Season 16 - "Goo Goo Gai Pan"
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