Groland

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Groland
Presipality of Groland
Real-world
Genre Parody
Fictional
Motto

Joie, hospitalité, lâcheté

(English: Joy, hospitality, cowardice)
Anthem God Save the President
Capital Groville
Language(s) French
Ethnic groups Grolandais
Government Republic
Some French car owners show their devotion to the TV program by using this emblem as a rear car tag, as if their vehicle was registered in Groland.

Groland (full name: Presipality of Groland, French : Présipauté du Groland) is a fictional country featured in various humorous programs on French television channel Canal+. It is a vague parody of France and of European microstates. The show associated with the country is Made in Groland, Also known, for the older version as : Groland Sat, 7 Jours au Groland (7 Days in Groland) Bienvenue au Groland. (Welcome in Groland) Groland Magazine, Groland.con.

The landlocked nation is described as a ‘presipality’ (a neologism made from "principality" and "president"), and its main regions are: Upper Groland (le Groland-du-Haut), Side Groland (le Groland-de-Côté), Lower Groland (le Groland-du-bas), and Other Side Groland (Groland-de-l'Autre-Côté). The capital is Groville, the main river is the Gro, and the main prefectures are Grugny, Mufflins, Maroufle and Vichumes. The placenames, certain elements of Grolandais speech (e.g. the use of "ch'" instead of "le" or "la"), and the generally crass and unintelligent character of the Grolandais themselves, reflect popular stereotypes about rural northern France. Groland has the distinction of having a border with every country in the world.

The motto of the country is Joie, hospitalité, lâcheté ("Joy, hospitality, cowardice"). The country remained neutral during World War I, and was famous for being a haven for soldiers on leave, with its cheap alcohol and prostitutes. During World War II, the country's leadership collaborated with the Nazi occupier; the government engaged in policies of persecution and deportation of Jews and homosexuals. After American troops liberated the country, a sudden change of mood happened, and alleged former collaborators were murdered.

The most recent elections, the presidential, took place in 2001. There was one candidate, President Christophe Salengro; and one elector, again the president. The president was elected with 100% of the vote. President Salengro is the heir of a dynasty of feudal lords.

Groland Police and repressive forces[edit]

  • Groland Police Department is known as GroPD which in French is pronounced like gros pédé (big faggot)
  • P.A.S.T.I.S which stands for Pôle Armé pour la Securite des Trains Inter Secteur (Armed Pole for Inter-Sector Train Safety)
  • S.U.Z.E which stands for Section d'Urgence des Zones Electrifiées (Emergency Section for Electrified Zones)
  • C.A.L.V.A which stands for Centre d'Aide Logistique aux Vigiles Agréssés (Logistical Support Center for Assaulted Vigils)
  • G.I.N which stands for Groupe d'Intervention Neurologique (Neurological Intervention Group)
  • V.O.D.K.A which stands for Volontaire pour les Operations de Décérébration des Kabyles et des Arabes (Volunteers for Decerebration Operations on Kabyles and Arabs)
  • C.O.G.N.A.C which stands for Commando d'Opposition Gauloise aux Negros, Arabes et Chinetoques (Gallic Opposition Commando of Negros, Arabs and Chinks)
  • Gro MachineEmission Grolandaise Music : (parody Hit Machines)
  • Télonthé Grolandaise association : (parody Téléthon)

These units have been staged in a french-speaking video where they are engaged in a lynching, Groland city police is also the subject of a french-speaking video. Pastis, suze, calva (short for calvados), cognac are French alcohol, gin is a Dutch alcohol, vodka an eastern Europe alcohol.

History of the programme[edit]

Groland had been the star and permanent character of a continuous news television channel, CANAL International (pronounced CNL), a clear parody of CNN, until the style of the programme was renewed and updated. After CNL, the tone has slightly evolved towards a parody of a famous programme once called Aujourd'hui Madame (Madame Today), the soundtrack of which used to be a landmark of the two-channel, state-owned French TV of the late seventies.

After September 2008 a new visual line put the emphasis on a collection of not-so-clean old people dancing around in home-mixed music selected by Sylvain Fusée, the historical pillar-director of the programme. This visual evolution reflects a more profound comeback of the programme to its original inspiration: depicting Groland as a character who by the voice of its various and colourful citizens embodies the hidden face of the French society. This repositioning left the systematic criticism of the then-current Sarkozy Administration to the other parody programme of Canal Plus, Les Guignols de l'info (The Info Clowns, or The Info Puppets).

As per the words of the founders of Groland, Jules-Édouard Moustic and Sylvain Fusée, the programme takes its roots in two sarcastic magazines, Fluide Glacial (Icy Fluid) and Charlie Hebdo (Charlie Weekly), that formed the background of their typical post-'68, neo-leftist culture. This form of black humour that prohibits puns is the essence and the main differenciator of this programme which has no equivalent on French television.

A deeper scrutiny of the situations and narrative style of Groland's main host, Jules-Edouard Moustic, would reveal a clear Rabelais influence in Groland. The special reports convey a permanent allegory of alcohol and food as well as an omnipresence of all aspects of both digestive and reproductive functions. The images, visual line (by Jérôme Letué) and soundtrack are carefully crafted to depict the Groland characters as driven by greed and luxury.

Groland television and shop[edit]

Notable Groland citizens:

  • President Salengro;
  • News anchor Jules-Édouard Moustic;
  • Journalist Francis Kuntz;
  • Former investigative journalist Michael Kael

Notable honorary Groland citizens:

External links[edit]