"Hairdresser on Fire" is a song by Morrissey, that originally featured as a B-side on his single "Suedehead" as well as being a bonus track on the American release of his solo debut Viva Hate. It was later featured on the compilation album Bona Drag as well.
The song is based around Morrissey's obsession with his hair, and his hairdresser in Sloane Square, London. He wrote the song because of his frustration in getting an appointment in the salon. That's why the song states "Can you squeeze me into an empty page of your diary".