Henrietta Ponsonby, Countess of Bessborough
|The Countess of Bessborough|
1793 portrait by Angelica Kauffman
16 June 1761|
|Died||11 November 1821
|Spouse(s)||Frederick Ponsonby, 3rd Earl of Bessborough|
|Children||1 John, 4th Earl of Bessborough
2 Sir Frederick Cavendish
3 Lady Caroline Lamb
4 William, 1st Baron de Mauley
5 George Stewart
6 Harriet Godolphin Osborne, Duchess of Leeds
|Parent(s)||John Spencer, 1st Earl Spencer
Margaret Georgiana Poyntz
Henrietta Ponsonby, Countess of Bessborough (16 June 1761 – 11 November 1821), born Lady Henrietta Frances Spencer (generally called Harriet), was the wife of Frederick Ponsonby, 3rd Earl of Bessborough and mother of the notorious Lady Caroline Lamb. Her father, John Spencer, 1st Earl Spencer, was a great-grandson of John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough. Her sister was Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire.
Being the youngest child, Harriet was often left in England when her parents and older sister Georgiana would visit the continent for her father's health. As a child, Harriet was frail and sickly which led her mother to send her abroad for schooling, thinking that foreign air would help strengthen her. She grew into a young woman of exceptional beauty and intelligence, witty, well-read and self-assured.
On 27 November 1780, Harriet married Frederick Ponsonby, Viscount Duncannon, later 3rd Earl of Bessborough. Their marriage was a difficult one; since Harriet and her husband were avid gamblers, they often found themselves in debt. Frederick was also known to be abusive of Harriet, often humiliating her in public gatherings, as well as demanding that she find money to pay for the debts he had incurred. In 1790 her husband began divorce proceedings but under intense pressure from both families agreed to drop them. Their marriage produced four children: John William, later 4th Earl of Bessborough; Frederick Ponsonby; Caroline Ponsonby, more commonly known by her married name as Lady Caroline Lamb; and William Ponsonby, who became the 1st Baron de Mauley.
Harriet had numerous lovers during her marriage: as she once remarked "I can never love a little". Among her more notable lovers were Richard Brinsley Sheridan, the playwright and Whig politician, and Granville Leveson-Gower, 1st Earl Granville, who became her most enduring lover.
Her affair with Granville produced two illegitimate children: Harriet Emma Arundel Stewart, wife of George Godolphin Osborne, 8th Duke of Leeds (though she died in 1852 before he succeeded to the title) and George Stewart, yet somehow Harriet managed to hide her pregnancies from her husband. Granville would later on marry Harriet's niece, Lady Harriet Cavendish ('Harryo'). As Harriet sadly remarked, for seventeen years she had "loved to idolatry" the man who she came to believe loved her least of all the men in her life.
Of her younger admirers her favourite was William Lamb, 2nd Viscount Melbourne, who then fell in love with her daughter Caroline; although Harriet was anxious for Caroline to marry early, she had misgivings (entirely justified in the event) as to whether William and Caroline were well suited; but in the event she gave her consent to their marriage willingly enough.
Sheridan's feelings for her became an obsession, and he distressed her greatly, just before his death, by saying that he hoped his ghost would haunt her; she asked if he had not done enough through his life to make her unhappy?
Harriet often accompanied her sister to political events as well as soirees. She was also very close to Georgiana's best friend, Lady Elizabeth Foster, with whom she often was seen in public. Harriet died on 11 November 1821 in Florence, Italy following the death of her youngest grandchild, Henry, in Parma. According to Lord David Cecil, she died peacefully and without regret, worn out by a life of emotional turmoil.
Cecil describes her as a woman of "indescribable distinction".
|Ancestors of Henrietta Ponsonby, Countess of Bessborough|
Notes and references
- O'Toole, Fintan A Traitor's Kiss: the Life of Richard Brinsley Sheridan Granta Books 1997 p.250
- Gleeson, Janet. Privilege & Scandal. 2006.
- Lord David Cecil Mellbourne Pan Books Edition 1965 p.39
- Cecil p.57
- O'Toole p.466
- Foreman, Amanda. Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire. 1998: The Modern Library.
- Cecil p.137
- Cecil p.39