How to Host a Murder

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
How to Host a Murder
Publisher(s) Decipher, Inc.
Publication date 1983
Genre(s) Murder mystery game

How to Host a Murder is a long-running series of boxed murder mystery games published by Decipher, Inc.. Players take on the roles of suspects after a murder has occurred, all attempting to expose which one of them is the murderer. The first, The Watersdown Affair, was published in 1983. Sixteen other How to Host a Murder games have been published since, and the line has also spun off into lines like How to Host a Teen Mystery, a single adult How to Host a Mystery, the kids games How to Host a Kids Party & How to Host a Scavenger Hunt, and the more romantically inclined How to Host a Romantic Evening. The last release was in 2003, but Decipher recently announced new material relating to the series would be appearing on their website, suggesting new releases may occur soon.[1] Decipher's website has been updated to announce that these new games are coming in Second Quarter of 2014.[2]

The Games[edit]

How To Host a Murder Editions

Episode number Name of episode Year created
1 The Watersdown Affair 1985
2 Grapes of Frath 1985
3 The Last Train From Paris 1985
4 Archaeologically Speaking, it's The Pits (AKA Matter of Faxe) 1986
5 The Chicago Caper 1985
6 Hoo Hung Woo 1986
7 The Class of '54 1987
8 Power and Greede (AKA The Hollywood Premier) 1985
9 The Duke's Descent 1990
10 The Wall Street Scandal 1991
11 Roman Ruins 1996
12 The Good, The Bad, and The Guilty 1996
13 The Tragical Mystery Tour 1998
14 Maiming of the Shrew 2000
15 Saturday Night Cleaver 2001
16 An Affair to Dismember 2003
Special All My Children 1991
Special Star Trek: The Next Generation* 1992

How To Host A Teen Mystery Editions

Episode number Name of episode
1 Hot Times at Hollywood High
2 Barbeque With a Vampire
3 Roswell That Ends Well
  • NOTE: The Star Trek: The Next Generation edition was released under the title "How To Host a Mystery".

Individual game descriptions and flavor text[edit]

The Watersdown Affair[edit]

It is January 1936 at an English country mansion. Sir Roger Watersdown, the wealthy owner of Watersdown Beverages, Ltd., has invited several friends to a weekend party in the countryside at his mansion. But soon murder is discovered, and the friends must decide who among them committed the crime. Perhaps the answer to this crime can be found in a deeper investigation of the setting and the relationships between host and guests? How too, too awful a beginning to a country weekend.

By separate invitation, you and a select few others have been invited to Watersdown Mansion as the weekend guests of Sir Roger Watersdown. As Sir Roger's guest, I thought you might be interested in some information about the mansion and, perhaps, about the other guests that will be present during your stay. I have enclosed a brief biography of each guest. Watersdown Mansion is an old, elegant stone building situated in Yorkshire, England, and constructed in 1817. The original owner, Lord Balmy Farfrummit, made his fortune selling English pig iron to the French after Bonaparte's defeat in 1815. Roger Watersdown acquired the entire Farfrummit holdings in 1925 after the tragic death of Viscount Farfrummit aboard his sailing yacht, Frummit's Ferry, which foundered during a fierce storm off Falmouth Harbor. Sir Roger, as you may know, is the principal shareholder of the giant conglomerate Watersdown Beverages Ltd., and known far and wide as a jovial host. Female guests are cautioned that Sir Roger, after consumption of his customary evening cocktails, tends to become something of a letch. I welcome you on behalf of Sir Roger and the entire Watersdown Mansion household, and I hope your stay will be a pleasant one.

Characters[edit]

  • Dr. Malcom K.T. Praktiss

Dr. Praktiss is a wealthy, well-liked Harley Street physician with a growing reputation as "Healer to the Rich and Famous." He is Sir Roger Waterdown's personal physician and frequent bridge partner at The Gribbley, an exclusive London card club to which they both belong. A charming gentleman with many female friends, he has never married. His close friends call him "Mal." 

Costume Suggestion: Doctor's garb, stethoscope, scrub suit. 

  • Miranda T. Shetes

A beautiful and talented young American actress, Miranda is becoming known for her maturing talent and classic profile. Critically acclaimed for her portrayal of Miss Hardcastle in She Bends Over to Conquer, a film by Oliver Goldmint, she is becoming quite popular in film circles. This cinematic triumph brought her before the public eye and launched her serious drama career. She is beginning to enjoy the rewards of success and an expanding circle of influential friends. Sir Roger has financed some of her dramatic appearances. To close friends she is known as "Randy." 

Costume Suggestion: Sensuous, slinky - low-backed gown and feather boa. 

  • Roger S.B. Astird

Kidnapped in infancy by his nurse, Roger is Sir Roger's long-lost illegitimate son. He is traveling in Europe studying the architecture and masonry of baronial castles and manors. Though planning to become an architect, he has taken advantage of his stay in Europe to indulge in a favorite hobby, mountain climbing. Sir Roger, having discovered that "Rog" is his son, has made him welcome at Watersdown Mansion. At Watersdown, he is called "Rog" to avoid confusion. 

Costume Suggestion: Climber's kit - beret, khaki shorts and shirt, climbing axe and boots. 

  • Dame Allison Bigh

A renowned author of English mystery novels, Dame Bigh has enjoyed great popularity and success since her best seller, The Knife Slices Coldly, was published two years ago. Since that time, her writing has been generously praised for its lifelike characterization of the criminal mind. The Dame is a guest at Watersdown to gather material and set the mood for her new book, which is a sequel to The Knife . . .Sir Roger is a great admirer of her work. Dame Bigh is known as "Ali" to close friends. 

Costume Suggestion: A long, flowing dress, not too low-cut, dignified but not spinsterish

  • Prosper Alvin Bates Esq.

Solicitor Bates is Sir Roger's lawyer, personal advisor and talented golfing companion. His legal practice consists of handling Sir Roger's business affairs and, of course, frequent rounds of golf during which much business is accomplished. He is a director and board member of Watersdown Beverages Ltd. and a frequent guest at Watersdown Mansion. Solicitor Bates' country home, Whole-In-Won, adjoins the Watersdown estate and features a private driving range. By his friends, he is called "Pro." 

Costume Suggestion: Vested suit and briefcase or golfer's attire. 

  • Donald J. Brooks

Donald is not only Sir Roger's nephew, but at age 35 he has established himself as a successful city banker and brilliant financial strategist. Recently featured in the "People to Watch" section of the influential Banker's Fashion News, Donald is developing a wide range of international associations which are proving quite valuable to his career. Donald and his wife, Florence, are at Watersdown Mansion to discuss a business proposal. In the family Mr. Brooks is known as "Donny." 

Costume Suggestion: Businessman's dark gray suit. 

  • Florence Wing Brooks

Heiress to the fortune of the Earl and Lady Wing, both of whom are still living, Florence Brooks is Donald's socialite wife. Incredibly beautiful, Florence was well known as the "Far Eastern Eye Shadow" girl during her years as a fashion model. Her career ended with her high-society marriage to Mr. Brooks. Since her marriage, Florence and her husband have traveled extensively, many of those trips being to exotic international locales. She exudes a charm and vivaciousness that serve to enhance her husband's thriving business connections. Her parents call her "Flo." 

Costume Suggestion: High fashion gown or evening pajamas. 

  • Eiaguielle R. Aminmund

Eiaguielle is Sir Roger's confidential secretary, a highly talented and motivated person. Since the death of Lady Watersdown four years ago, she has often acted as hostess at Watersdown Mansion's weekend parties. She is in charge of virtually all operations at the mansion. Because her name is so long, friends call her "E.R.A." 

Costume Suggestion: Dress with lace collar and sleeves; granny glasses; steno notebook; very proper.

Grapes of Frath[edit]

Version one[edit]

Motor Yacht Gilded Vessel: As an invited guest of Archibald Frath and a passenger aboard the Gilded Vessel, you will be interested to know some of the details of the yacht and the cruise you will be making aboard her. The passenger list for the cruise is appended. The Gilded Vessel is 142 feet in length, modern and luxuriously appointed throughout. She has eight guest staterooms, four to port and four to starboard, and M. Frath's stateroom aft. The Grand Salon and canopied On Deck Lounge are the center of social activities on board. The yacht carries a crew of 22 under the command of Captain Meirre, a master seaman whose exploits in the Mediterranean are legendary. Equally legendary is the ship's fare, concocted by a galley staff of 7 overseen by Master Chef, Francois Pigout. Guests will meet the yacht in Monte Carlo on June 7, 1925, and should plan to board some time between 9:30am and 12:00noon. Luncheon will be served in the On Deck Lounge at 12:30pm and the yacht will depart at 2:00pm for a short cruise to the first night's anchorage, a small island situated 6 nautical miles south of Cap D'Antibes.

Characters[edit]

  • Mademoiselle Lucinde S. Gucie

Lucie, as she is known in Paris society, is a young Parisienne and tres a la vogue. A rising star in the social lights of Paris, she has left a trail of broken-heated suitors, young and old, rich and famous, who have sought her hand in marriage. Heiress to the estates of Baron Lucien Gucie, now deceased but founder of the internationally famous pate distribution enterprise, Pate Gucie, Lucie has only to wait one year, until her 28th birthday, to receive possession of her inheritance from the trustee of her estate, Wellington C. Waterloo.

Costume Suggestion: High fashion "flapper" dress, long necklace

  • Jules T. Hieffe

Known in paris society as Jules, he is a dealer in precious gems and expensive jewelry pieces. His shop in Paris on the Rue de la Payor, the internationally famous Maison Hieffe, enjoys the trade of select and wealthy clientele. Something of a playboy, Jules enjoys the nightlife of Paris and has many female admirers who are, perhaps, attracted to the lure of his jewels. In connection with his business, he travels widely on the continent and is often away on business trips.

Costume Suggestion: French beret, turtleneck, jeweler's lens

  • Captain Malcolm D. Mierre

Captain Meirre is master of the Gilded Vessel. A seaman of renown, he was decorated during World War I for his heroic exploits as captain of the HMS Tippler, a supply ship which, during a climactic sea battle in the waning moments of the war, succeeded in sinking the massive German battlecruiser, Teidelvafe. As a result of injuries sustained in the war, he walks with a limp and often uses a cane. Unless his duties as captain interfere, he is always included in the festivities aboard the Gilded Vessel. Everyone calls him Captain Mal.

Costume Suggestion: Nautical attire, medals and ribbons, cane for wounded leg

  • Countess Natalia Irina Forilska

A Russian countess, she escaped from St. Petersburg prior to the revolution and made her way to Paris where she opened her now famous Luminance Rouge nightclub. It is said that she brought with her the spectacular tiara called Couronne des Etoiles. Perhaps because it enhances the image of her nightclub, she has allowed this rumor to circulate without denial. Her personal charm and flamboyance have made her a success and her nightclub one of the brightest spots in an already glittering Paris. Everyone, but everyone, calls her Nadya.

Costume Suggestion: Flamboyant, flowing dress, lots of rings and necklaces

  • Bella Donna Maria Cossa

Bella is, above all else, a coloratura soprano, a highly talented and developing star with the internationally acclaimed Opera Monte Carlo. Vivacious and lively on stage, she is praised for her purity of voice, extensive vocal range and the grace of her manner. She recently played the title role of the comic hairdresser in the Gioacchino Linguini's classic opera, Barbara of Seville. Bella has only recently emerged in society, having spent a secluded life studying her art.

Costume Suggestion: Demure but slightly theatrical attire

  • Miles F. Latout

Miles is a dashing fellow indeed, a race car driver. Last year, 1924, he campaigned his Bugatti as a private entrant on the Grand Prix circuit and succeeded in taking a first at the Grand Prix de Monte Carlo. This amazing feat has brought him world-wide attention. Miles is a highly sociable person and can often be found in high society gatherings or at the baccarat table playing for high stakes. His favorite casino in Monte Carlo is the world famous Club Risqueuse.

Costume Suggestion: Jaunty cap, white scarf, dark sunglasses

  • Wellington C. Waterloo

W.C., as he is known, is a businessman and entrepreneur with a record of financial success that is the envy of investors in London, Paris and New York. Men of capital have sought him out for advice on matters of finance and he has often consulted with Archibald Frath with regard to Frath's investments. Before his death, Baron Lucien Gucie, one of the richest men in Europe, appointed him trustee of his estates which he now manages for the heiress, Lucie. He has often sailed with Frath aboard the Gilded Vessel and is aboard on this occasion to discuss various aspects of Frath's business affairs. He is a gourmet and shares with Frath an enthusiastic interest in fine wines.

Costume Suggestion: "Lounge suit," homburg, brief case

  • Desiree Flambeau

A young, highly motivated businesswoman, she is struggling against tremendous odds to restore her family fortune. The once flourishing Flambeau Vineyards were nearly destroyed a few years ago by a deadly grape blight. This disaster contributed to the untimely demise of the father, Crispen Flambeau, leaving her to support her invalid mother and six younger brothers and sisters. Archibald Frath has been very supportive of her efforts and has assisted her and her family in many ways. She has become close to Frath, as a result, and has often travelled with him on his yacht.

Costume Suggestion: Tailored, business-like dress or suit

Version two[edit]

[More than just a renaming of the original characters, Version Two of Grapes of Frath contains a reworked plot, new character backgrounds, a different method of murder, and an entirely new murderer.]

Motor Yacht Le Voyeur: As Archibald Frath's guest aboard Le Voyeur, you will be interested to know some of the details of the yacht and the cruise you will be making aboard her. Le Voyeur is 142 feet in length, with modern facilities and luxuriously appointed throughout. She has eight guest staterooms, four to port and four to starboard, with Frath's stateroom aft. The Grand Salon and the canopied On Deck Lounge are the center of social activities on board. The yacht carries a crew of twenty-two under the command of Captain DeMeirre, a master seaman whose exploits in the Mediterranean are legendary. Equally famous is the ship's fare, concocted by a galley staff of seven, overseen by Master Chef Francois Pigout. Guests will board the yacht in Monte Carlo on 5 June 1928, between 9:30 a.m. and noon. Luncheon will be served in the On Deck Lounge at 12:30 p.m. and the yacht will depart at 2:00 p.m.

Characters[edit]

  • Cosette LeTorchier [formerly Desiree Flambeau]:

Cosette is the wife of Archibald Frath. Once an heiress to the greatest champagne vineyard in the world, she was devastated when the vineyards and family estate burned to the ground, killing the rest of her family. When the smoke had cleared, the land remained barren, and Cosette was left with nothing. As the wife of the richest man in the world, she is once more reclimbing the ladder of European society—although it's been a rocky road, since everyone believes she set fire to the vineyard herself. Of course, it has never been proven, but many people feel they can read guilt in the emotionless face she shows the world.

Costume Suggestion: Tailored, business-like dress or suit.

  • Daimon R. Foreva [formerly Jules T. Hieffe]:

Daimon is Monaco's most respected dealer of find jewelry. The toast of the Continent, Daimon could charm the shine off a ruby and the gown off a princess. He is often seen in top hat and tails, with some sequined goddess by his side—a different one, they say, for every day of the year. Needless to say, Daimon thrives on the Monte Carlo nightlife and has flocks of admirers who are perhaps attracted to the allure of his jewels, which he wears on almost every appendage of his body. Daimon comes aboard as a guest of opera star Donna Mata Tomei, with whom he shares a platonic friendship.

Costume Suggestion: French beret, turtleneck, jeweler's loupe.

  • Donna Mata Tomei [formerly Bella Donna Maria Cossa]:

Rising from total obscurity, Donna is now Italy's leading prima donna and melts her fans with her sultry contralto voice. Most recently she brought the house down playing the title role in the famous American opera, Madame Superfly. Off stage, the diva is shy and reclusive, but once beneath the burning lights, her arias affect the emotions of her audience with a professionalism seldom seen in the world of opera. She is a star. She knows it, and she expects everyone to treat her like one.

Costume Suggestion: Demure, but slightly theatrical, attire.

  • Holden Von Piston [formerly Miles F. Latout]:

Holden is the most successful race-car driver since the invention of the automobile. Last year he drove his Bugatti as a private entrant on the Grand Prix circuit, and placed first at the Grand Prix de Monte Carlo. This amazing feat brought him worldwide attention and rescued him from the post-war poverty that still grips his native Germany. Now Holden cavorts with royalty, spends money like there's no tomorrow, and has just been signed as the spokesman for Toxico Petroleum---a job that will reap him a handsome salary to match his handsome physique.

Costume Suggestion: Jaunty cap, white scarf, dark sunglasses.

  • Captain Mal DeMeirre:

Captain Mal DeMeirre is the master of Frath's yacht, Le Voyeur. A seaman of renown, he was decorated in the Great War for his heroic exploits as a warship captain. He is most famous for sinking the dreaded German battle cruiser Das Gröinpull. As a result of injuries sustained in the war, he walks with a limp and often uses a cane. People say that Captain Mal has a sixth sense about navigation. Rumor has it that all he has to do is look up at the night sky to instantly read his position on the globe. Unless his duties as captain interfere, he is always included in events aboard Le Voyeur.

Costume Suggestion: Nautical attire, medals and ribbons, cane for wounded leg.

  • Mona F'Amour [formerly Lucie S. Gucie]:

Mona is a young Parisian trés a la vogue in Paris society. She has left a trail of brokenhearted Romeos, young and old, rich and famous, who have sought her hand in marriage. She is pure, virtuous, and swears to remain chaste until her wedding day, to the disappointment of so many men. Mona is still mourning the tragic death of her father, who was killed when his necktie got caught in the window of a moving car. Mona now lives by herself on the immense and lonely F'Amour estate.

Costume Suggestion: High fashion "flapper" dress, long necklace.

  • Sasha Sonovabich [formerly Countess Natalia Irina Forilska]:

Sasha Sonovabich is the deposed czarina of Russia and sole surviving member of her royal family, executed by the Bolsheviks. Only recently has her true identity come to light. She has been living anonymously in Paris for the past ten years, under the protection of the French government. Now a celebrity in Paris, Sasha runs a successful nightclub, the Mouton Rouge. Her personal charm and flamboyance have made the Mouton Rouge one of the brightest spots in an already glittering Paris. It is rumored that she safely smuggled the famous "Pink Puma," one of the largest diamonds in the world, out of Russia. She's never denied that rumor...it's good for business.

Costume Suggestion: Flamboyant, flowing dress, lots of rings and necklaces.

  • Upton Yors [formerly Wellington C. Waterloo]:

Upton Yors is a brilliant American businessman and entrepreneur with a record of financial success. Upton tends to be arrogant and aloof, but certainly has reason to act so, since he will soon join Archibald Frath as one of the world's wealthiest men. Currently he handles a number of Frath's investments and runs the F'Amour Foundation, a charitable organization set up to benefit the victims of neckwear-related accidents. Upton's most recent project is the financing of the most expensive movie ever made---a film of that great American classic Gone With the Trash, which promises to change the face of cinema forever.

Costume Suggestion: "Lounge suit," homburg, briefcase.

The Last Train From Paris[edit]

It is June 1940 aboard a train leaving from Paris. The German troops are about to enter the city. Roads are a hopeless snarl; the trains are full with little space aboard them. Yet, to remain in the city will not be pleasant. Aboard a government train heading for the safety of southern France, a murder is discovered. The passengers (your guests) must decide who committed the crime. Certainly, the elegant refugees and the dramatic circumstances of their flight from Paris will provide the answer to this mystery.

Dear Friend: It seems that the German troops are about to enter Paris. The roads south are a hopeless snarl. The trains are full, and one cannot find space aboard them. Yet to remain in the city under Nazi control will not be pleasant.

This letter offers you what may be your last chance to escape. At 5:00 p.m. on 13 June 1940, a government train under military guard will depart platform 7, Gare d'Austerlitz, for the relative safety of southern France. Attached to this train will be a private Pullman car and dining car. The accompanying transit authorization will see you past the military guard and on board.

I do hope you will come.

Who am I? Well, for the time being, I will not tell you. Think of me as someone much like yourself, a citizen of the world. There will be eight guests. I have listed them all below and, as you can see, they are a distinguished group. I will make it a party of nine.

Do bring proper attire. We will dine elegantly. Our chef is the man who made travel by train a delicious experience, Master Lester ("Les") K. Arrgowe. Oh yes, each of the train cars has its own name: the lounge-dining car named "Délice" and the Pullman sleep car named "Désire."

Don't be late. Miraculously, the trains are running on time. Number 9

Characters[edit]

  • Belinda Screete:

A "couturière extraordinaire" is the way Belinda is described by her wealthy clients. Usually she just blushes and responds, "Really, I'm only a simple dressmaker," but those in the inner circle of Paris society know better. Owner of a thriving high-fashion studio, Maison de Screete, this clever and well-educated American has thrust her way into the Paris fashion world. More than a caterer to the patrons of high-fashion, Belinda participates in that society as actively and as well as any. Vivacious and charming, she is a frequent guest at the mansions and châteaux of wealthy and influential citizens of Paris.

Costume Suggestion: Extremely stylish or, at the other extreme, extremely dress-makerish (pins, thread, tape measure, scissors...).

  • Malcolm R. Conntint:

"Mal" is a soldier of fortune. Restless, cynical and secretive, he is well known in Paris society; it is whispered that for some undisclosed reason, Mal cannot return to his home in the United States. Some say he killed a man; some say it was an affair of the heart; others say he makes his living in the active and thriving black market of Continental Europe. Whatever the truth, Mal is a welcome participant in Paris high society where his worldly toughness stands out against a backdrop of leisured affluence.

Costume Suggestion: Gangsterish; dark shirt and suspenders, white tie, fedora.

  • Duke Schwäzhe B. U. Klare:

Another royal victim of the German advance, the Duke fought his way through enemy lines to reach Paris. His own small army in tatters, he and a few hand-picked men succeeded in bringing valuable information concerning German troop disposition to the French High Command. The Duke remains a hero to his now captive people, the sturdy peasant stock of the region known as AlzŠse-Laverne. He is a man of noble bearing, schooled extensively in military matters and a swordsman of considerable talent. Young to be the leader of even so small a nation, the Duke is not married and is considered to be one of the most eligible bachelors in Europe.

Costume Suggestion: A regal military uniform with sword; horse optional.

  • RAF Group Captain Weyland W. Awfcorce:

Known to his men as "Wey," Capt. Awfcorce is a pilot of renown. His squadron of Laklustre Bombers is likely to prove one of the most formidable armaments available to the British Armed Forces. Shot down on a reconnaissance mission over Germany before hostilities commenced, Wey evaded capture and made his way to Paris, and is now trying to return to England. Born of English nobility and educated at Oxford, Wey epitomizes the strength, endurance and noble character of that island race.

Costume Suggestion: Flying jacket, scarf and goggles.

  • Khover T. Ageante:

A well-traveled and worldly individual, Mr. Ageante is seldom home in the British Isles due to the necessities of business travel. Distinguished, impeccably dressed and courteous to a fault, he is welcome in the finest hotels and restaurants in Europe. Yet there is an aura of mystery about him, and no one seems to know exactly what his business is or why he travels between Berlin and Paris with such regularity.

Costume Suggestion: Crisp, 1940s-style suit and briefcase.

  • Princess Idelle Chattre:

A royal refugee driven to Paris by the advancing German troops, Princess Idelle is the sole surviving representative of the ancient and noble Chattre family. Those European rulers descend directly from Nonnes Taupe Chattre, who, in 1124, at the head of an army of fierce Northern tribesmen, conquered and carved out a small, heavily wooded land where his descendants now live. Despite her youth, Idelle is aware that she alone carries on the family line. Strong-willed and quick to anger, she is quite beautiful and, it is said, possessed of considerable family wealth safely invested overseas.

Costume Suggestion: Regal but not without style; jewels; crown and scepter might be a bit overdone, but acceptable.

  • Mary K. Trairie:

A journalist for a large metropolitan U.S. newspaper, Mary has lingered in Paris to send the true story of the war in Europe home to her readers. She has interviewed men in the street, soldiers and generals, ministers of state and celebrities. Her articles are published in metropolitan papers across the United States under the byline Mary Trairie, but those who know her past remember her as little Mary Kohn, daughter of the late Augustus Kohn, journalist, publisher and newshound. It was Augustus who said, "There's them that wants news and there's them that wants truth. Don't ever confuse one with the other." Mary was briefly married to a young city editor named Harold Trairie, but it did not last. She has kept Harry's name, feeling her father's too austere.

Costume Suggestion: Tailored, possibly a man-style suit; no frills; steno pad.

  • Barbra Z. Enhussie:

Barbra may be described in a few words - "rich, spoiled and beautiful." Daughter of the late French perfume king, Louis Z. Enhussie, she was brought up in extravagance and has carried on the tradition of the Enhussies in all respects. Châteaux Enhussie, on the outskirts of Paris, and Barbra's luxurious apartment in the city, are centers of lavish social activity. Everyone who is anyone is a regular at Barbra's.

Costume Suggestion: Something frilly and flowing; dripping jewels; a fur.

Archaeologically Speaking, it's the Pits AKA Matter of Faxe[edit]

It is June 1895. Arthur "Art" E. Faxe, the eccentric Englishman, has invited eight guests to participate in an archaeological dig at a site in Mesopotamia. Almost immediately, rumors circulate of an important find, but excitement gives way to dismay when murder is committed. Beneath the surface, in the fascinating mélange of guests and their shared histories, lies the answer to the murder.

Arthur E. Faxe, the eccentric entrepreneur and amateur archaeologist, sails this month for ancient Mesopotamia in search of human fossils and in the hope of proving the Darwinian Theory of Evolution. Faxe has chosen a region of the Tigris-Euphrates Valley known since ancient times as Vages for the site of his expedition. This area is distinguished by an immense and prominent boulder that can be seen for miles and is known locally as the Rock of Vages. A small cleft, or opening, at the base of the rock is the site of an unusual collection of fossils. The cleft, discovered in 1854 by French archaeologist, Henri Formie, is described in scientific literature as Rock of Vages, Cleft Formie. By arrangement with the local government, Faxe and his entourage will establish an extensive camp in an abandoned military fort near the archaeological site and overlooking the Tigris River.

[Note: this game, originally released as "A Matter of Faxe," was later re-released as "Archaeologically Speaking, it's the Pits" and finally once again as "It's the Pits."]

Characters[edit]

  • Terra Sunder:

Terra is Art E. Faxe's daughter. Beautiful and enthusiastic, she enjoy the social status conferred by her father's wealth and fame to the fullest. Life is a constant round of gala events and balls. Terra has taken an active interest in the theater, arts and music. She has also enjoyed surprising success in designing fashionable lingerie for her friends, which she blushingly markets under the name "Terra Sunder Wear." Though married a few years ago, Terra now lives apart from her husband, Castor Sunder. She is close to her father and insisted on joining him at the expedition site, much to his pleasure.

Costume Suggestion: Dressy attire which possibly shows off a bit of her lingerie.

  • Major General E.B. Sawtedd:

A soldier of considerable experience and skill, the Major General is a veteran of numerous military actions. During previous command, he led his troops on a forced march across miles of desolate wilderness to bring relief to a besieged British regiment surrounded by revolting native hordes. He has just returned from a lengthy tour of duty in the Punjab, where he distinguished himself in the management of an unruly local population through frequent application of his favorite disciplinary device, the bullwhip. The tale of his accomplishments has been set to verse in the emotionally charged epic poem, 'The Empire Stripes Backs,' by Lloyd, Alfred Tenny's son. The Major General is always impeccably attired, sports a monocle and a moustache, and carries a riding crop. Everyone calls him "Sir."

Costume Suggestion: Military uniform, sidearm, whip, monocle.

  • Lester A. Fayre:

An American railroad tycoon, "Les" is said to be one of the wealthiest men in the world. He currently heads a coalition of American and European businessmen who propose to lay a rail line from the Mediterranean to the Tigris-Euphrates Valley. The railway will provide a direct shipping route for goods that must now flow downriver into the Persian Gulf before beginning the long journey to European markets. Ruthless and calculating, Les is also known as a connoisseur of fine food and wine and has a particular affection for vintage cognac. Les and Faxe have participated in several business deals and a close, if competitive, relationship exists between them.

Costume Suggestion: American western wear, six-shooter.

  • Lady Mellissa N. Lynke:

Young, vital, enthusiastic and adventuresome, "Missy" is heiress to the Lynke family fortune. Her father is, of course, Lord Chayne Lynke, Duke of Gayte, a man of great wealth and renown. She has returned recently from a world tour, by various modes of transportation, in wild and remote regions of the globe. Missy scarcely had time to repack her trunk when she and her friend Ashley decided to leave for a tour of the Tigris-Euphrates Valley. There, they joined up with the Faxe expedition where they became entranced with the archaeological project and have joined eagerly in the work.

Costume Suggestion: Colorful and unusual garments (acquired on her travels).

  • Anne T. Ickwitee:

Of ancient English country lineage, the Ickwitees of Barfrumpshire, Anne is a very unconventional young lady. Her family and friends were startled when she entered—and won!--the local bathing beauty contest (revealing a scandalous two inches of ankle). She shocked them even more by distinguishing herself as an Oxford scholar and graduating from the Women's College with honors. Her interest in archaeology comes naturally. Her late father, Ian Ickwitee, discovered the famed Lopswich femur. Anne herself assisted Professor Herman Anasse at the dig in which he discovered the fossil now known worldwide as the "Jawbone of Anasse." Anne is participating in the Faxe expedition by special invitation of Art E. Faxe.

Costume Suggestion: Khaki clothes or knickerbockers.

  • Hamilton MacTorr:

Of Scottish parents but orphaned as a baby, "Ham" was raised in England by a maiden aunt who read to him nightly from the works of Shakespeare, Bacon and the like. The experience ruined him for honest work, and at an early age Ham made his way into the theater. His work has been called "the quintessential example of modern British stagemanship." Arthur E. Faxe has taken an interest in Ham's career to the point of financing some of Ham's productions. Ham has taken a leave of absence from his profession to join Faxe at the expedition site.

Costume Suggestion: Dramatic attire; black cape, tailes, top hat, and cane.

  • Ashley R. Sonnyste:

Ashley is a charming and vivacious young English countrywoman. Because of her father's illness, she has managed the extensive Sonnyste estates—rich agricultural land and several buildings situation in Southern England—for the past few years. Unfortunately, the estates were destroyed by fire; shortly thereafter, Ashley's father, Colonel Sonnyste, died. Forced to fend for herself, she came to London where, by virtue of unwavering determination and the greatest of good fortune (and insurance proceeds), she has made a place for herself in society. Lady Mellissa Lynke has become Ashley's close friend, and the two young women impetuously set out on a world tour. Upon returning to London, they again immediately departed on a journey to the Tigris-Euphrates Valley. Once there, they joined up with the Faxe expedition.

Costume Suggestion: Elegant English country attire or traveling clothes.

  • Conrad Iver:

Intellectual, well-educated, aristocratic yet hard-working, and quite clever, "Con" is Art E. Faxe's right-hand man at the archaeological site. He has participated in many other expeditions and is the author of several learned works on the subject of fossils—including the practical guidebook, "Archaeologically Speaking, It's the Pits." Educated at Oxford, Con distinguished himself as a scholar and an athlete who played cricket and soccer internationally for England. Since graduating he has dabbled in business in London's financial circles, where he has quite a following, and has traveled extensively. Con is a member of London's most prestigious card club, the Gribbley, where he is to be found most evenings, when he is in town.

Costume Suggestion: Khaki outfit, pith helmet, pick, shovel.

The Chicago Caper[edit]

It is September 1928 in Chicago. Notorious gangster Harold "Hal" Coppone's return is expected to trigger a wave of violence. Instead, Coppone has disappeared, mystifying police and the criminal underworld. To the small group gathered in at S. P. Keasy's Place, near Coppone's headquarters, the crime lord's whereabouts become only part of the mystery when murder is discovered. There's no shortage of suspects, motives, speakeasy glamor or gorgeous flappers in this crime tale.

Characters[edit]

  • Molly M. Awbsterr:

A society dame from New York, where the Awbsterrs are a prominent and respected family, Molly came to Chicago for the action and because, in her own words, "Chicago is a fun town." Molly is a flapper from the top of the feather in her hat to the tip of her satin shoes and she maintains an apartment on the top floor of Chicago's most exclusive apartment-hotel. She is a consummate shopper, driving herself about town in an elegant Packard DeLuxe Eight Sport Phaeton automobile. Friends and acquaintances call her "The Moll."

Costume Suggestion: Fringed flapper dress with bead necklace, cloche hat with feather.

  • Ernie ("Bet a Million") G. Ambler:

Chicago's most colorful millionaire gambler, Ernie parlayed a small stake into a stock exchange fortune early in the decade. He still actively plays the stock market, but his favorite game is poker and he can often be found at a table in the notorious back room of Chicago's Green Tables, where they play the "richest game in town." Ernie is flamboyant, outspoken, always ostentatiously dressed, and never without his diamond stickpin and Havana cigar. It's said that he will bet on almost anything.

Costume Suggestion: Flashy (ostentatious) suit, diamond stickpin, Havana cigar.

  • "Silky" M. Adam:

Silky is a slinky and shady lady who owns and operates The Everlay Club, Chicago's most prominent private establishment situated in the exclusive Luxington Gardens district. Silky's father, "Champagne" Charlie McCorker, founded the club years ago, and his daughter, christened Penelope McCorker—known to friends as "Poppy"—took over management at about the time she married prominent Chicago businessman U. Penn Adam. After her husband's unexpected death, the young and beautiful owner became known as "Silky" for the elegant silk gowns she was accustomed to wearing in the evenings. Silky counts among the club's members the wealthiest and most influential citizens of Chicago, who, despite their busy schedules, often stop in at the club for an hour or two simply to pass the time in the club's elegant and relaxing atmosphere.

Costume Suggestion: Silk evening gown shimmering with glittery beads.

  • Eddie ("Socks") R. Gyle:

Smooth, fashionable and clever, Eddie is an avid golfer and spends most afternoons on the links at the exclusive Lake View Country Club dressed elegantly in plus fours and argyle socks. In the evenings he can be found at his exclusive gaming house in downtown Chicago, known simply as Green Tables, where the affluent, the trendy and the compulsive citizens of Chicago come to gamble. Those close to Eddie also know him as a deal maker and in certain circles as "Fast Deal Eddie," although what he deals in and with whom he deals is never mentioned.

Costume Suggestion: "Plus Fours" (knickers) and argyle socks; bow tie and putter.

  • Malissa F. Orrthot ("Scoop"):

As a young reporter for the city's leading paper, The Chicago Trumpet, Scoop quickly made a name for herself on the crime beat, later covering the political scene. Her considerable beauty and lively charm have undoubtedly helped further her career, and she enjoys a broad circle of influential and powerful friends on both sides of the law. She counts as a close friend and ally the editor-in-chief of the paper, Augustus Kohn—known affectionately to his staff as "Citizen Kohn." Recently though, Scoop has written a series of articles exposing corruption in government and, as a result, has antagonized several of the city's most powerful figures. Undaunted by threats against the paper and herself, Scoop has vowed to carry on the crusade "until I've exposed every crook in Chicago."

Costume Suggestion: Long loose jacket with a tight skirt, business suit.

  • S. Treighton Harrow:

U.S. District Attorney and chief opponent to the criminal element in Chicago, Harrow is single-handedly responsible for bringing to justice several of crime's most despicable practitioners. Foremost among those convicted through Harrow's efforts are mob hit man Charlie "Gold Bag" Marconi (who carried a machine gun in his golf bag) and Maximillian Buccher, alias Max the Butcher, alias Max the Knife. Amidst the corruption and complacency that characterize Chicago law enforcement, Harrow stands out as a shining example. Harrow carries on a tradition set by his renowned trial attorney father, Clarence D. Harrow. Nobody knows his first name.

Costume Suggestion: Sharkskin suit; briefcase.

  • Anna Maria Carlotta Sassine ("Torchy"):

Currently the featured singer at Eddie Gyle's Green Tables, Torchy has also appeared in many of the exclusive night clubs of Chicago and has sung with many of the town's top jazz bands. While she brings to music an exuberance of style enjoyed by fans of the modern sound, it is her rendition of the more traditional blues melodies and so-called "torch songs" that have earned her the nickname "Torchy." Her smoldering beauty and sultry voice contribute to Torchy's appeal, as does an extensive repertoire that includes the latest in Chicago jazz, as well as more traditional blues numbers.

Costume Suggestion: Sultry, shimmering sequinned gown.

  • Billy ("The Kid") Thrower:

Star pitcher for the Chicago Sock Kings major league baseball team, Billy was born to play baseball. His grandfather was Bulford "Bull" Thrower, famed for his dreaded "mud-ball." Termed "almost impossible to hit," the pitch suffered the disadvantage of requiring a muddy field or, in the alternative, a well-endowed cow pasture. Grandson Billy has carried on the Bull's tradition and in his first major league game struck out 11 batters. He currently holds the league strikeout record. Off the field, Billy is as fun-loving, hard-drinking, warm-headed, lustful, brawling and hell-raising as a baseball player can be. He won 22 games for the team last season and is on a faster pace this year.

Costume Suggestion: Baseball uniform, glove and ball.

Hoo Hung Woo[edit]

It is 8th Century China at the Festival of the Autumn Moon. Guests of the Hoo family have been invited to gather in the grand hall of Hoo House at the Hoo-Hung-Wu Islands. Hoo House is an elegant Chinese mansion and the summer house of the Hoo family. As guests gather for an evening of reflection, poetry and feasting, the celebration gives way to deadly dismay about Who Done It!

[Note: this game, originally written as "Hoo Hung Woo," was later re-written as "Hoo Hung Wu."]

Characters[edit]

  • Hoo Li-Gan:

Currently head of the prominent Hoo family, Hoo Li-gan assumed management of the extensive Hoo landholdings upon the death of his father, Hoo Gon-wei. As one of the district's most prominent and respected landholders, Hoo is an important and authoritative figure in the area, and he administers his estates and controls his many tenants with a firm but benevolent hand. Despite his relative youth, Hoo is looked to by many local citizens for advice concerning the management of land and wealth. Hoo already has a large family consisting of three wives, six concubines and at least eleven children.

Costume Suggestion: Long-sleeved robe worn over loose pants, black cap and black boots.

  • General Shang Hai-Shek:

A fearsome warrior and defender of the imperial borders, General Shang commands the Sixth Imperial Army stationed along the Great Wall in the Chi-Ka district. He is a noted swordsman; his sword itself is a weapon of great lineage, called, in the language of weaponry, "Cha Pem" or the "Death Blade." It is a precious family heirloom. Shang is a close friend of Hoo Li-gan and often takes his evening rice with the Hoo family.

Costume Suggestion: Ancient Chinese warrior costume (complete with helmet, coat of mail, knee-length skirt and armored boots). Or long-sleeved black robe worn over loose black pants, black boots, helmet or black cap, sword with ribbons attached.

  • Hao Dee-doo:

The magistrate of Chi-Ka-Go, Hao is a cousin of Hoo Li-gan and, as the head of the district governmental system and the tribunal of Chi-Ka-Go, he is the emperor's representative in Chi-Ka. So young to have attained such an exalted position, Hao is reputed to be a man of impeccable moral character and scrupulously fair in his administrations of local government. He is apparently favored by the emperor and therefore expected to go far in his political career. Hao has a passionate interest in collecting precious antiques.

Costume Suggestion: Long-sleeved robe (preferably blue) worn over loose pants or gown, waist-high apron, black stock cap worn high upon the head, black boots, jade pendant.

  • Pen Ta-Gon:

A nationally reputed scholar, Pen is also the renowned author of the philosophical treatise, The Way to Con Fu-shun, as well as the popular Philosophical Sayings for Social Occasions. For the last few years he has served as an advisor to the emperor in the capital city but recently moved to the district of Chi-Ka where he hopes to find more time for purely academic pursuits. Pen is principally interested in finding methods of applying ancient wisdom and teachings to contemporary events.

Costume Suggestion: Long-sleeved robe with optional horizontal band attached to the lower part, black stocking cap worn high upon the head, black boots, books in hand.

  • Wee Ping, called "Willow Blossom":

The beautiful young widow of Wu Wun, eldest of the Wu family sons, Willow Blossom met her husband when he was a young officer stationed in Chi-Ka-Go.After his promotion to captain of a regiment in the Sixth Imperial Army, the couple was married and she frequently traveled with him to posts along the Great Wall. Her husband's recent death in a military engagement was a great tragedy, but Willow Blossom is well provided for. She has a grand house in the city and takes an active part in the life of the Wu family, where she is known as the Widow Wu. She is educating herself in classical literature and is a fine calligrapher.

Costume Suggestion: Silky, floral, long-sleeved robe or gown, black boots or flats. Hair in a bun, China doll make-up with very prominent eyebrows and a small flower painted on forehead.

  • Woo Pi [later Wu Pi], called "Joyous Flower":

The beautiful eldest daughter of the Wu family and twin sister of Wu Too, Joyous Flower's shy and obedient manner belies an inner spirit of independence. She has been well-educated and is conversant in classical literature and poetry as well as gifted in music and painting. Unmarried, she is much sought after as a bride by many eligible men in the district, although her father, the venerable Wu Pte-doo, has not yet consented to a marriage. Joyous Flower resides in the Wu family home on the extensive Wu Estate.

Costume Suggestion: Silky, floral, long-sleeved robe or gown, black boots or flats. Hair in a bun, China doll make-up with very prominent eyebrows and flowers painted on cheek.

  • Hoo Ting, called "Jade Owl":

The young, second wife of Hoo Li-gan, Jade Owl has become the mistress of the Hoo family since the recent untimely death of Hoo's first wife, Hoo Num-wun. Jade Owel's task in managing the Hoo households (both their summer and winter homes) and supervising the many servants is not an easy one, but despite her delicate loveliness, she has proved herself a competent and efficient manager. She is quite artistic as well and skillful in the art of painting ceramic bowls, vases and cups in traditional and modern designs.

Costume Suggestion: Brightly colored (preferably green), silky long-sleeved robe or gown, black boots or flats. Hair in a bun, China doll make-up, jade jewelry.

  • Ding Ling, called "Silver Bell":

A young and beautiful poetess, Silver Bell's lyrical and poignant poems have gained her nationwide recognition. She has presented her poetry in the Court of the Emperor in the Forbidden City and to the Festival of Poets and Scholars held annually in the capital. Her uncle was the famous General of the Empire, General Tel. Silver Bell has been the guest of the Hoos for several weeks. She has been in residence at the Pavilion of the River, near the Hoo summer home.

Costume Suggestion: Brightly colored, silky long-sleeved robe or gown with cape (long scarf worn over arms) black boots or flats. Hair in a bun, China doll make-up, "ancient" book of poetry in hand.

The Class of '54[edit]

It is 1959 in Roley City, a small town in the USA. The local high school class of 1954 has scheduled its 5th year reunion to coincide with the return of Rockford "Rock" N. Roley, the student who became a famous rock 'n roll star. Excitement is running high until the recollection of a high school prank leads to the discovery of murder! You'll be "most likely to succeed" at unraveling the mystery if you'll do a little homework into the history of the fascinating members of the class of '54.

Characters[edit]

  • Calvin Q. Layder:

The son of prominent Roley City insurance salesman, C. U. Layder, "Cal" is a certified genius. While at many schools a science wizard would have no chance of joining the "in" crowd, Cal was a social success during high school largely because he was a terrific practical joker. His jokes, often directed at school administration and occasionally at city officials, earned him such a high standing among the students at Roley High that he was a welcome member of any group. He was particularly close to Rock N. Roley.

Costume Suggestion: White shirt with pocket protector and pens, high-water pants, horn-rimmed glasses.

  • Deirdre C. Deucer:

"Dee," as her friends call her, gew up on the wrong side of the tracks, and in Roley City that meant a tough life for a beautiful girl. Determined to make a success of her life despite a drunken father and a brother convicted of armed robbery at the age of 15, Dee studied hard and graduated from Roley City High in the top 10 percent of her class. In her senior year, Dee was Homecoming Queen. She attended State College and is now in her first year of law school.

Costume Suggestion: Tight pants, tight black sweater, scarf around the neck, high heeled springalators, lots of make-up, bracelets, dangly earrings.

  • Delbert Toydes:

"Del" was a three-sport letterman in high school, quarterback of the Varsity football team, starting center of the school's championship basketball team and the "big hitter" of the Varsity baseball team. After high school, Del was eagerly recruited by several prominent colleges and set passing records in 1957 and 1958 as quarterback for the Northeastern Bullmooses. Drafted by the Washington Rednecks professional football team in 1958, he is expected to bring a new vitality to that franchise. In the off-season, Del still lives on the family farm on the outskirts of Roley City.

Costume Suggestion: Football or baseball shirt, jeans, letterman's jacket or sweater, high top sneakers, football or baseball.

  • Evelyn C. Leigh:

Perky, bright and pretty, "E.C." was a born cheerleader. Generous and enthusiastic by nature, as she puts it, "I just couldn't say 'No' to anything." As a result, she was always active on several high school projects, attended and cheered at most athletic events, never missed a party and, unfortunately, didn't have much time to study. She graduated from Roley High, but E.C. herself acknowledges that it was a kindness on their part. E.C. married right after high school and lives in Bigtime, U.S.A., not far from Roley City. Her husband, Herman Duszit, died tragically in a traffic accident, and she now devotes her life to bringing up their young son.

Costume Suggestion: Sweater with a large "R" on front, circle skirt, white tennis shoes or bucks, socks rolled down, pompoms.

  • Joseph K. Awledge:

Even in high school, "Joe" knew he wanted to be president of a large corporation. He didn't really care what corporation - General Motors, Chrysler, G.E. - as long as it was one of the really big ones. There was simply no question in Joe's mind that the route to success was through a college education, and in 1958 he graduated with honors from a major eastern university. After graduating, Joe became Rock N. Roley's business manager, and much of the star's financial good fortune can be credited to Joe's skillful management.

Costume Suggestion: Pleated pants, button-down shirt, V-neck sweater, white bucks or saddle shoes, high quality leather briefcase.

  • Penelope Lofer:

Penelope is the former Penny Roley, Rock N. Roley's twin sister. She and Rock grew up in a wealthy family that lived in a big white mansion called "Roley House." During her youth, Penny made sure the house was filled with constant teen-age activity. Today, Penny is a hometown girl who married her high school boyfriend and lives in a pretty little house not far from her former house.

Costume Suggestion: Plaid pleated skirt with matching sweater or sweater set, matching socks, penny loafers, pearls.

  • Priscilla E. Teene:

Roley High prided itself on its athletics, but it could boast of its scholars as well, and "Pris" was one of those. Studious and intelligent, Pris was clearly destined for scholastic greatness. She won a statewide spelling contest at age 8, had the highest grade point average in her high school class, and was senior class president and valedictorian. Her graduation speech, entitled "Go Forth and Be Virtuous," earned Pris acclaim from faculty and city officials; it was reprinted in the Roley City Times. Pris graduated from college in 1958 and works for a publicity firm in Bigtime, U.S.A.

Costume Suggestion: White blouse, long, straight skirt, saddle shoes with white socks, cardigan sweater over shoulders, lots of books.

  • Richard C. Alcitrant:

In high school, "Rick" was wild and unruly. Though quick-thinking and intelligent, he performed poorly in school because of frequent absences and a rebellious nature. He adopted a tough-guy attitude and claimed to like both his women and his cars "fast and hot." For a while, Rick was Rock N. Roley's closest friend. Rebellious even now, Rick has not yet found his niche in society; he has had a difficult time adapting to adulthood.

Costume Suggestion: Jeans, white T-shirt, black leather jacket or denim jacket, dark glasses and boots or black shoes.

Powar and Greede[edit]

Darlings: The suspense is simply too much to bear. All of Hollywood is gasping for news about Powar Film Studios' newest film. Everyone who is anyone knows that it was produced under the strictest security in Building 5 on the Powar lot and that production finished over a month ago. The oh-so-aloof Ivonde B. Ahlone graciously consented to appear opposite the incomparable Savoy R. Fayre. One hears as well that Powar's new ingenue Heidi co-stars opposite that gorgeous creature, Stu D. Muphin. It is whispered that the movie is based on Hack Ryders latest work about the life and death of Powar Film Studios' late lamented star, Mallisa Ann Greede, and that Hack pounded out the screenplay in record time. One assumes that the old pro Seldon U. Lloyd will direct, though that pretty young thing Denise N. Dayer has apparently been hovering about the sets with a look of authority in her eye. Well darlings, wait no longer. The word is out. Powar Film Studios has announced the premiere showing of Powar and Greede at Powar Oriental Gardens Theater this Saturday. Ad-mission is by invitation only and, true to form, Mr. P. issued his invitations with malicious precision. He is revelling, Im sure, in omitting some of Hollywood's nobility from the guest list. The invitation arrived in a salmon-colored embossed envelope. Cast, director, writer and your humble servant will join Mr. P. for champagne and caviar before the film begins, followed by a magnificent feast prepared by Master Chef Jacques Endibaux. Yummy!

You have received an invitation to the premiere of Powar Film Studios' latest release Powar and Greede. As an illustrious member of the cast or crew, you are a guest of the producer W. Anton Powar. At the gala, guests find out that 1936 is curtains for a mutual friend.

[Note: Later versions of the game have changed "Powar and Greede" to "Power and Greede."]

Characters[edit]

  • Denise N. Dayer:

Denise is a young actress who has not yet enjoyed the success and recognition she deserves. While she has appeared in secondary roles in a few films, she has not had the big break that will launch her on the road to stardom. Given her obvious talent and considerable beauty, this will only be a matter of time. In the meantime, in order to keep herself as close to the action as possible, she has found a job at Power Film Studies as a production assistant and has worked with some of the industry's greatest directors, including Seldon U. Lloyd and Phil M. Acher. Denise has, in fact, shown a remarkable flair for directing.

Costume Suggestion: Evening gown, not too fancy.

  • Heidi Voltäje:

One of Power Film Studios' newest stars, Heidi was discovered by W. Anton Power himself and is his newest protégée. She first appeared on film in Power's recent release, Lay of the Land, though only in a minor role. Nevertheless, filmgoers across the country were electrified. "Shocking," the Boston Bulb declared. "Hi Voltäje and Power Studios illuminate the silver screen," one reviewer proclaimed. Rumor has it that she has been given a major role in Power's latest film, and she seems assured of a rapid rise to fame and fortune. Her nickname is "Hi."

Costume Suggestion: Glittery and glamorous evening gown in a bright color, jewelry to match.

  • Ivonde B. Ahlone:

Born on a Swedish dairy farm, Ivonde never expected to be in pictures, but with her remarkable beauty and natural acting ability, she was destined for greatness. It was Sel U. Lloyd who first noticed her in a low-budget Italian production titled War and Pizza. He brought Ivonde to the United States where she appeared in his next production, Daze of Wynan Rosas, co-starring Savoy R. Fayre. She has starred in several movies since, including The Thick Man, a spy thriller. She is one of Hollywood's truly glamorous stars.

Costume Suggestion: Elegant and glamarous evening gown, jewelry, hair up in a bun with braids.

  • Hackford Ryder:

While "Hack," as he is known in Hollywood, enjoyed a degree of critical acclaim as a novelist, it was not until he came to Hollywood to write for Power Film Studios that he achieved financial success. Having written several brilliant screenplays, including Goddess, featuring the life of ill-fated silent screen star Sola Sivius, Hack is now acclaimed as one of Hollywood's finest screenwriters. The leap from an impoverished, Bohemian lifestyle to fame and wealth has not spoiler Hack. He remains the same down-to-earth guy he was before coming to Hollywood.

Costume Suggestion: Tuxedo or tails, stack of papers marked "screenplay."

  • Savoy R. Fayre:

Savoy's crisp British accent and graceful, elegant charm have made him one of Hollywood's favorite leading men. Contracted to Power Film Studios, he began his acting career with a series of minor roles. He became well known for his portrayal of "Arnold" in the classic, The Scarlet Pimp, Arnold (co-starring Tatyana Eltale), but achieved true stardom playing the butler in the movie version of Dame Alison Bigh's thriller, The Butler, Diddit, starring opposite Mallisa Ann Greede. Savoy is a hunter and a superb rifle marksman, as well as an excellent golfer.

Costume Suggestion: Tuxedo or tails, golf clubs.

  • Seldon "Sel" U. Lloyd:

As one of Hollywood's preeminent directors, Seldon has a remarkable string of cinematic successes to his credit and is so much in demand that he commands fabulous fees and can pick and choose his films. He is so influential that actors and actresses vie for the opportunity to work with him. His award-winning film, Daze of Wynan Rosas, established Ivonde B. Ahlone as a star. He also directed movies which made Mallisa Ann Greede famous: Tequila Mockingbird and The Butler, Diddit.

Costume Suggestion: Tuxedo or tails, director's megaphone.

  • Stuart Dyron [later Stuart D. Muphin]:

Young and strong, film actor "Stu" embodies "tall, dark and handsome." He began his career in Hollywood as a stuntman, but his looks and manliness quickly earned him feature roles in several Power Film Studios' westerns, including The Dark Side of the Horse and Treasure of C. Arram Aurdrey. In his first starring role, Muphin immortalized the character of the alcoholic bird watcher, "Rudolph," co-starring with Mallisa Ann Greede in Tequila Mockingbird. The film gave a tremendous boost to his career.

Costume Suggestion: Tuxedo or tails, cowboy hat, cowboy boots.

  • Tatyana "Tat" Eltale:

Formerly a very successful actress, Tatyana recently retired to become a gossip columnist, something she has always wanted to do. As the columnist for the Los Angeles Morning Express, Tatyana is syndicated nationally and has recently been offered her own radio show. All of Hollywood mourned her decision to give up acting, particularly after her award-winning portrayal of the tragic silent film star, Sola Sivius, in the blockbuster film, Goddess. But Tatyana said at the time, "I'm a gossip first and an actress second. You can't ignore your calling."

Costume Suggestion: Glamorous evening gown; little, discrete notebook and pen.

The Duke's Descent[edit]

[Originally Titled: The Duke's Descent, or "Who Let the Heir Out of the Balloon?"]

The London Times, June 11, 1931 Lofty Aires, Duke of Airesborne, Killed In Attack Balloon Crash

Lofton "Lofty" Aires, twelfth Duke of Airesborne, and his son, Lord Lightern Aires, were killed yesterday while testing the duke's prototype "attack" balloon. Observers report that the balloon plummeted out of a cloudy sky into thick woods close to Airesborne Castle, killing both the duke and his son. The duke's brother, Drafton, succeeds to the title. "Drafty," as he is popularly known, is in poor health and remains secluded at Airesborne Castle.

Observers of matters concerning the nobility point out that it is not clear who will be Drafton's heir, since he has no children. In cases where the duke has no natural heir, he may nominate his heir from his immediate family, according to Royal Grant of Privilege, bestowed by Queen Elizabeth when she created the Duchy of Airesborne in 1597. It is understood that the new duke has already made plans for a family council to invoke this privilege.

The Invitation:
By Authority Vested in the Dukes of Airesborne through Royal Grant of Privilege, I, Drafton Aires, 13th Duke of Airesborne by this notice do advise that you are eligible to assert your candidacy as heir and successor to the Title and Estates of the Duchy of Airesborne and, to that end, are commanded to attend upon me at Airesborne Castle on the 15th of June, 1931

Drafty, 13th Duke of Airesborne

Characters[edit]

  • Spendwell P. Roppwash:

Spendwell is an "ace" pilot who distinguished himself during World War I, flying combat missions over Germany in the legendary Sopwith Dromedary. Credited with shooting down seven enemy aircraft, he acquired the nickname "Spinner" from the acrobatic aerial maneuver he performed to escape the clutches of the dreaded Fred Barron. Since the war, he has been involved in various air-transport ventures and is currently raising funds to launch a commercial airline, Spinnair.

Costume Suggestion: Flying jacket with "wings" insignia, aviator cap, goggles, scarf, heavy canvas trousers, boots.

  • Melissa C. Loudbanks:

An internationally respected aviatrix, Melissa's ambition is to be the first pilot to fly around the world. Her marriage to G. Rynder Loudbanks, a wealthy banker, brought together the heritage of the noble Airesborne family and the "new" city money of the Loudbanks. Tragically, her husband died shortly after the wedding in a fall from her airplane. Undaunted, she continues to pursue her goal with great fortitude. Her friends and family call her "Misty."

Costume Suggestion: Flying jacket, aviator cap, goggles, scarf, leather trousers and boots.

  • Lance Sallot:

A young aristocrat of noble bearing and inclination, Lance is the future eight Duke of Sallot, a family with ancestral links to the Airesbornes. His father, the seventh duke, is frail in body and spirit, and Lance has already been managing the family estates for several years. Fair-haired, handsome, and an excellent swordsman, he will be a magnificent catch for some fair maiden but is, as yet, unmarried.

Costume Suggestion: Elegant attire, possibly featuring the Sallot family crest (black tie would be appropriate), sword.

  • Damselyne D'istresse:

Damselyne, known as "Dame," is the older sister of Misty Loudbanks. Delicate and beautiful, she has been courted by some of the world's most eligible bachelors, some of whom have performed heroic deeds to rescue her from the many difficulties she constantly experiences. They have all earned her thanks, but none has won her heart.

Costume Suggestion: Evening gown, fur coat or stole, tiara.

  • Rogan S. Coundrell:

A successful entrepreneur, Rogan has overcome the financial disadvantage of being born a young branch on the family tree by earning his fortune in the building trade. He is influential and highly regarded due to his skillful combination of distinguished heritage and business acumen. An elegant dresser, he frequently wears a long, black cap and is usually seen smoking a cigar. He has recently acquired a Rolls-Royce motor car.

Costume Suggestion: Elegant attire (possibly black tie), long black cape, slicked-back hair, wads of "money," cigar.

  • Gwendolyn O. Veere:

When Lofty Aires married the young, beautiful and spirited Gwen, all England rejoiced at her happiness. To become Duchess of Airesborne had been Gwen's lifelong dream, and she was doubly rewarded when the duke presented her with the magnificent Airesborne jewels on their wedding day. Although he was over twice her age and she was his fifth wife, Gwen did all she could to make a success of the marriage. Sadly, they did not live happily ever after either, and she has been living apart from the duke until his death, when she returned to the castle.

Costume Suggestion: Evening gown, masses of jewelry—the Airesborne jewels (the more absurdly ostentatious and pretentious, the better).

  • Lonsford Glost Aires:

A descendant from a long-lost branch of the family tree, which he believes has precedence over the existing heirs, "Lon" read about the death of the twelfth duke in the newspaper and has returned to the family seat to stake his claim. Being an excellent hunter and avid sportsman, he is well-schooled to assume his "rightful" position. He is also an expert on genealogy, having studied at the Institute d'Affairs Genealogie in Paris under Professor Throux D. Agees.

Costume Suggestion: An extraordinary "hunting hat," i.e., a rubber duck stuck on the top of a hat, hunting jacket to go with hat.

  • Evonne B. N. Aires:

Lonsford's voluptuous wife, who has accompanied him on his quest to return the Airesborne line of succession to the proper branch of the family tree, "Eve" clearly has the attributes to make a fine duchess and has been quietly support her husband as he makes his claim. Of French ancestry, she has a lilting French accent.

Costume Suggestion: Evening gown, prominent jewelry

The Wall Street Scandal[edit]

Who lost the most money on Black Monday? This morning, all eyes focused on Bonds & Trage and its larger-than-life founder, the infamous and tyrannical Jon K. Bonds. Starting in the trading pits some 30 years ago, Bonds built his small firm into a financial services giant. A master deal-maker and confidant of New York money and power, Bonds has sometimes been unscrupulous in his determination to undermine his rivals, particularly competitor Churnham & Burnham. Confidential sources inside the company indicate that Bonds may soon step down from his position. His age, 56, is not believed to be the primary factor. The U.S. Attorney General's office is reportedly investigating Bond's possible involvement in stock manipulation and conspiracy schemes. If Bonds does leave the company, his successor will face the difficult task of guiding both the battered firm and the wealthy Argonaut Fund through the Black Monday disaster.

Characters[edit]

  • Corey Pratt Bonds:

Corey, Jon K.'s eldest son and vice president of corporate investments at Bonds & Trage, is thought by man to be his father's successor. Educated at exclusive and prestigious schools, Corey's refined personality fits perfectly with the distinguished and traditional atmosphere of the mahogany-panelled offices at Bonds & Trage. Considered one of America's most eligible bachelors, Corey was recently featured as "Bachelor of the Month" in Metropolitan magazine. Although many glamorous women have tried to change his mind, he claims to be too busy for a serious relationship.

Costume Suggestion: Suit with vest, fob watch on a gold chain, old school tie.

  • Stockard Ann Bonds:

Jon K.'s lovely and vivacious daughter, "Stock," has inherited her father's fierce independence and determined spirit. Pursuing her own career outside the family firm, she is currently working as an agent for Freud U. Lent, the hottest contemporary artist of the 1980s. Stock has a contract to distribute Lent's work through Olio's, a fashionable art gallery that skyrocketed to international fame when Freud U. Lent burst onto the world art scene a couple of years ago. A passionate art connoisseur, Stock has helped her father build his celebrated collection of old masters and contemporary art. These endeavors have left her little time for suitors, and she is unmarried.

Costume Suggestion: Elegant attire, possibly a suit.

  • Wirth Les Bonds:

Wirth was an infant when Jon K. Bonds adopted him and raised him as a son. Wirth has already made his mark on the world of politics, having just become New York's youngest senator. His recent election victory has been attributed to his dark good looks, casual manner and straightforward approach to major issues of the day. Wirth is viewed as a righteous defender of the common man, and he vowed to rid the state of corruption in his election platform. He has focused on white-collar crime, particularly the activities of insider traders on Wall Street. Many notable figures in the financial community are very concerned about his growing power and influence. There is already speculation that Wirth would be an outstanding candidate for President of the United States, but he is noncommittal at this point.

Costume Suggestion: Dress shirt with top button undone and tie pulled down a couple of inches, shirt sleeves rolled up.

  • Portia F. Olio:

Portia's ancestral title is Countess Portia F. Posure Marie Emm Olde Olio, but she is known as Portia (sounds like the car her chauffeur drives) to her friends and associates. Descended from Italian nobility, her stately manner complements a shrewd intelligence. Each of Portia's four marriages to elderly department store moguls has ended in tragedy. By wisely investing her inheritances through Bonds & Trage, she has managed to amass a considerable fortune. A favorite of society watchers, she regularly appears on lists of the world's best-dressed women, and she loves to fly to Paris and Milan every few weeks to shop. Art is her passion, and she owns the majority of the renowned Olio's gallery.

Costume Suggestion: Very elegant attire, as befits one of the ten best-dressed women in the world.

  • Lolita X. Posure:

Portia's daughter from her first marriage, Lolita grew up with a "silver spoon" in her mouth. She led a very dull and lonely existence until a few years ago. Shuffled from one boarding school to another, she finally arrived at Marie A. Richman's famous finishing school in Paris, where she blossomed from a shy, dull girl into a sparking debutante. She returned to New York after graduation and developed her hobby of photography into a promising career. Her voyeuristic style won critical acclaim with her first exhibition, "Surveillance and Love," at Olio's Gallery. She is now hard at work on her next exhibition, "High on Love." Her loving godfather, Jon K., gave her shares in the Argonaut Fund.

Costume Suggestion: Classy and practical dress, French beret, a camera.

  • Abercrombie Trage:

Known to everyone as "Arby," many consider him to be the silent force behind Bonds & Trage. He is a financial wizard with a razor-sharp mind and a flair for creative financing, which has guided the firm through some hard times. Arby and Jon K. started with virtually nothing and built their company into a powerhouse on Wall Street. Despite the company's public profile, Arby is an intensely private person, almost reclusive. Divorced many years ago, he spends his free time pursuing two passions: an unrivaled collection of bow ties (reputed to be New York's largest) and Italian opera. He has his own box at the Met.

Costume Suggestion: Suit with vest, bow tie.

  • Cassandra Antell:

Heiress to the Antell family fortune, she is also a high-powered social columnist for a major New York newspaper. Known as "Cassy" to her friends, her detractors use less flattering names (such as "Piranha" and "Pit Bull") once they appear in her column. Despite bitter protestations about the accuracy of her stories, none of her subjects has ever sued for libel. Only 30 years old, her far-reaching reputation belies her tender years. Cassy is known for her glittering entrances at all the right parties, and frequently those entrances have been on the arm of Jon K. Bonds. Some of her pettier detractors joke that she is so social she would attend the opening of an envelope.

Costume Suggestion: Evening gown and jewelry.

  • Robert Ublynd:

Known to friends and associates as Rob, he is a partner in the prestigious New York law firm of Biggs, Borrow, Steele & Ublynd. A long-time friend and confidant of Jon K. Bonds, he is solely responsible for handling Jon K.'s personal legal affairs. Coming from a humble beginning in entertainment law, Rob is characteristically outspoken and dresses ostentatiously, in sharp contrast to his more conservative peers. Rob is a man of vision, and he thinks big. His flamboyant personality and good sense of humor make him a sought-after companion in the entertainment world of Wall Street's elite. The prefix "mega" is an important part of his vocabulary: he frequently describes the mega-contracts he negotiates for mega-deals worth mega-bucks..

Costume Suggestion: Flamboyant, bright clothes, a tie and wire-rimmed glasses.

Roman Ruins[edit]

Having mentioned your name in his Roman epic, the renowned poet, Flabbius Corpus, invites you to a banquet for the premier recitation of his historical work. When you arrive, you discover there's been a murder in the garden and a priceless statue is missing. You assume the role of one of these great Roman characters and solve the mystery. Like a history lesson come to life, the schemes of less-than-noble characters are laid bare.

An excerpt from the Annals of Tacitius:

"The Reign of Licentius Caesar" ... The sudden demise of the greatly beloved Disgustus Caesar could have thrown the Empire into chaos, had this wise ruler not had the foresight to plan an orderly succession. His will attested unequivocally to the character and ability of his chosen heir - his son, Licentius Caesar. Unlike his father at his accession, Licentius had not yet served as a senator, an administrator, or a military commander. In fact, about the only thing Licentius had accomplished thus far had been finishing grammar school - and even that substantially late. But Disgustus was known to be a shrewd judge of character, and Rome was reassured by his unqualified affirmation of Licentius' suitability, as expressed in his will. As he worked to gain the support and cooperation of the various aspects of the Roman power structure, Licentius depended on the talents of his lifelong friend, the poet, Flabbius Corpus. Flabbius was best known for his popular works, collected in the Writ of Flabbius Corpus. Eager to enjoy the respect of posterity, as well as the esteem of the populace, Flabbius gathered material for an epic history of the reign of Licentius. . .

Characters[edit]

  • Licentius Caesar:

As ruler of the known world, Licentius Caesar walks proudly in the noble tradition of his late father, Disgustus Caesar. When Disgustus died unexpectedly several years ago after eating some tainted shellfish, the youthful but determined Licentius managed to put aside the cloak of grief that weighed heavily on him and took on the mantle of leadership. Since that tumultuous day, Caesar has made great efforts to bring together the military, the temple, the senate, and business interests in new and unique ways. As a devoted friend of poet Flabbius Corpus, Licentius Caesar also demonstrates an undying interest in the arts. He considers the arts an essential complement to the rigors of statecraft and international relations. His current international relation is a particular Queen of the Nile.

Costume Suggestion: Purple cloth draped over a tunic. Laurel leaf crown.

  • Rotunda Immaculata:

The fate of the Roman empire lies in the able services of Vestal Virgins, such as Rotunda Immaculata. The Vestals keep the eternal fires burning, thus ensuring the safety of Roman ships, the strength of Roman legions, and the success of Roman government. Rotunda comes from a prominent family, as all Vestals do, and she was chosen for her honored position at the tender age of 8. Now she is a beautiful but demure young woman looking forward to many, many more years as a humble servant of the empire.

Costume Suggestion: Tunic with robe, veil and scepter.

  • Maximus Testosterus:

Maximus is a renowned military commander—a master of warfare. His battles against the Gauls are already becoming legend. He has little use for such intellectual conceits as trickery and delicate subterfuge, but instead has built his reputation on bold, head-on attacks. With Mars, the god of war, fighting on his side, his armies crash through enemy ranks like a massive fist, flattening everything in sight. He is proud, with a no-nonsense personality, rugged good looks and a truly intimidating physique.

Costume Suggestion: Orange tunic with armor breastplate and centurion helmet.

  • Cleptopatra:

Cleptopatra, Queen of the Nile, embodies all of the mystery and extravagance of Egypt—the richest land in the Roman empire. Mesmerizing in her beauty, she is beloved by the Egyptian people, who believe that she lives on a higher plane of existence than their Roman masters. Cleptopatra's solid-gold barge is a common sight in the harbor of Rome, for she visits the Eternal City regularly to forge new political relationships and alliances... and she has developed a rather steamy romantic alliance with Licentius Caesar. Cleptopatra is well-acquainted with Flabbius Corpus, who makes frequent visits to Egypt and has even contributed to its rich culture.

Costume Suggestion: Cleopatra hairstyle with Egyptian makeup, jewelry and long, brightly colored slinky gown or tunic, and a gold crown.

  • Bogus Fortunatus:

The enigmatic and intense Bogus Fortunatus rose from the ranks of a mysterious priestly order, and honed his skill at predicting the future by examining animal intestines. But his life was changed forever when he composed the surprising hit song, Happy Entrails to You which catapulted him into the public eye. Shortly thereafter his accurate prediction of the destruction of Atlantis propelled Bogus to fame throughout the empire. Within a year his numerous fanatical followers elected him supreme priest of an immensely popular chain of temples dedicated to the worship of Disgustus Caesar, and the shellfish that destroyed him. This Cult of The Blue Oyster has become all the rage in the empire, as people try to recapture the good old days before Licentius' ascension to the throne. Now Bogus dines with emperors and reads livestock intestines for Rome's elite.

Costume Suggestion: Toga with tunic and shawl on head.

  • Flotilla Submergia:

Flotilla claims to be the only face that can truly launch a thousand ships (although that face has seen better days). In fact, she became the prosperous owner of a large, flourishing shipping operation when her husband's ship tragically fell off the edge of the earth two years ago. Her many ships (including the Titanicus, the Lucitanius, and the Poseidon) carry all-important grain throughout the Empire. In fact, her fleet has sometimes been called "the jugular vein carrying the lifeblood of the Roman empire." Respected by all, Flotilla is statuesque, regal in bearing and has a keen business mind. A mature woman, yes, but still in her prime. She is also the next-door neighbor of the poet, Flabbius Corpus.

Costume Suggestion: Long, regal, sophisticated tunic with jewelry.

  • Harangus Adnauseum:

Harangus is the epitome of a successful senator. He is a multifaceted man—part politician and part philosopher, but all Roman. As a military tribune, years ago, he stormed the shores of Normandy... and conquered the Normans. Harangus owns a considerable amount of land in and around Rome, but he does not crave wealth and property. He holds closely to Stoic philosophy, maintaining complete control over his emotions and eliminating all wants and desires. If given the opportunity, he will expound on the virtues of Stoicism for days on end, as he did in his now-infamous, three-day oration, "It's my party, and I'll be Stoic if I want to."

Costume Suggestion: Toga with a purple border worn over a tunic.

  • Mercedes Acceleratti:

Mercedes is Flabbius Corpus' ravishing wife. Not since Paris fell for Helen of Troy has one woman made such an impact on one man. She is the driving force and inspiration behind the great poet's work. Friends call her a "daughter of Bacchus" (the god of revelry), for she loves the fast, wild life and throws lavish parties at every opportunity. She can often be seen tearing around in her four horse-powered chariot. Mercedes is a free-spirit with strong opinions and a flighty personality. She has also been gifted by all the muses—particularly the muse of interior decorating. Her home is a gallery of fabulous objects from all corners of the empire, including several priceless sculptures.

Costume Suggestion: Long, glamorous black tunic accented with a lot of jewelry.

The Good, The Bad, and the Guilty[edit]

It is 10:10 p.m., 2 July 1881-a balmy evening in the little Wyoming Territory town of Roadkill. In response to a warm invitation from His Honor, Judge Waylon Payne, you have gathered in his home, beside the courthouse, in the heart of town, for a sumptuous dinner. Dinner will be followed by the hanging of the infamous, formerly elusive Malevolent Seven-a villainous gang of criminals rumored to have secretly victimized your fair territory for many years. Although no one knows the identity of the Malevolent Seven, everyone will find out tonight.

June 19, 1881

My Dearest Friends, In my tireless attempts to rid the town of Roadkill of the villainous scum that is corrupting our citizens, I take pride in announcing the capture of the Malevolent Seven-a dastardly conspiracy of criminals that has secretly victimized our fair territory for far too many years. To celebrate this landmark moment in law enforcement, I have erected eight gallows on Main Street: seven for the execution of this thieving, murderous band, and one for good luck. The execution will take place at midnight on the second of July, to "kick off" festivities for the Fourth of July weekend. As a crowd is expected, I've reserved prime seating for you, my most honored guests and dear friends. You shall be served a sumptuous meal in my home prior to our thrilling main event, which will begin with the hanging of the mysterious masked horseman who masterminded the Seven's unsavory crimes. So, leave your affairs in order, and come join me in this triumphant celebration. The honor of your presence is required.

Sincerely, Waylon Payne

Characters[edit]

  • Butch Chastity:

Legendary Butch Chastity is the first lady of outlaws. Her all-woman gang are the Amazons of the American West. There's nothing coy or dainty about Butch. She can drink her fellow outlaws under the table; she can hold her own in a gamer of poker; she can rob a stagecoach in record time; and she can skill a man just as soon as look at him—and often does. In her secret hide-out, a place called the Hole in the Mud, Butch plans the most daring of heists, including her many famed train robberies. It has been rumored that Butch has gotten away with more gold than any outlaw alive.

Costume Suggestion: Dungarees or jeans, boots, suspenders, gun belt, pistol, holster, bandanna and cowboy hat.

  • P'elvis Swagarin:

When a mysterious lone gunslinger rides into some dusty western town, it's usually P'elvis Swagarin. Solemn, poker-faced, bowlegged—he's a cowboy's cowboy. Born Peter Elvis Swagarin, he's P'elvis to those who know him. He's a man with no belongings but the shirt on his back, his gun and his saddle... a man who sleeps beneath the icy stars, a horse his only companion. P'elvis appeared out of the prairie heat just two days ago, and ever since he arrived, the whole town of Roadkill has been whispering in hushed tones, wondering who he is and what he wants...

Costume Suggestion: Dungarees or jeans, chaps, boots and spurs, suspenders, gun belt, pistol, holster, bandanna and cowboy hat.

  • Helena Handcart:

Matriarch of the Handcart clan, Helena is the mother of the Handcart boys: all thirteen of them. Billy-Bob, Bobby-Rae, Little Ricky, Martin and Lewis, Harpo, Groucho, Sleepy, Sneezy, Manny, Moe and Jack. Oh—and, of course, the Beav. Unfortunately, she had to bury all thirteen of her sons after they were tragically killed in a shoot-out at a dairy farm. The now infamous gunfight at the Parkkay Corral left her with nothing but memories. A strong woman, she has been able to survive, although most of the time she remains secluded on the sprawling Handcart Ranch, managing the family cattle business. Helena owns half the territory and never lets anyone forget it.

Costume Suggestion: Long black skirt with matching blouse, brooch, gloves, bonnet.

  • Chief Breaking Wind:

Chief Breaking Win is the distinguished leader of the Cowpai tribe—an honorary position these days, since the entire Cowpai tribe fell victim to a mysterious disease several years ago and perished. Still, the stoic chief keeps his traditions alive, trusting that, with his help, the Cowpai will rise again. Unwillingly relieved of his tribal responsibilities, the chief has since opened a successful barber shop in town, ignorant historical references notwithstanding, hasn't scalped a soul. Still, no one ever angers the chief.

Costume Suggestion: War paint and a breechclout for the truly adventurous; loose-fitting trousers, tunic with embroidered or painted symbols, native-design blanket, moccasins or soft, slouchy boots, black braids, feather headdress.

  • Elvira-Lynn Fekshin:

Elvira-Lynn is the consummate soiled dove and makes no bones about it, so to speak. She's known throughout the territory, and there's even that famous saloon song written about her-- My Heart Burns for You, and Other Places, Too. She's the proud madam of the Pigeon Ranch, the best little you-know-what in Roadkill. Since Judge Waylon Payne is one of her steadiest clients, the law does a good job of looking the other way. To look at her now, you'd never guess she was born in the gutter and suffered a sickly childhood, battling everything from consumption to bubonic plague. But now she spreads, among other things, sunshine wherever she goes.

Costume Suggestion: Low-cut blouse, corset, garters and patterned hose, be-ribboned bloomers, fancy hat with feather plumes, cigarette holder.

  • Wyatt Hertz:

Wyatt Hertz is by far the most famous lawman in the West. He kept the wild frontier town of Roadkill under tight control, keeping the locals in line with an iron first of fear. That is, until a shotgun blast caught him in the tender parts. Legend has it that Wyatt was ambushed by the vicious Partridge Family gang, and he didn't stand a chance. That was a year ago. Since then, he's retired, letting Judge Waylon Payne reign as both sheriff and justice of the peace. Now Wyatt runs a lucrative rent-a-horse business. He never lost a gunfight, and some folks believe he could take out a whole gunslingin' gang with a single round from his six-shooter.

Costume Suggestion: Dungarees or trousers, full-cut white shirt with black scarf or bolo, brocade vest.

  • Dee Adela Muerte:

She is known as just Adela to her friends, Adela is a Mexican beauty with the most pious of spirits but is plagued by bad luck. She's been thrice-widowed—each time as a newlywed. Her first husband, a local politician, died shamefully during one of his secret outings to the Pigeon Ranch. Her second husband, the town pastor, died while preaching, and her third husband, the town undertaker, keeled over from exhaustion while planting the thirteen Handcart boys. Now poor Adela is left to deliver Sunday sermons and forced to become town undertaker. Still, she knows that she will rise above her misfortune. Until then, she'll continue to wear her black mourning veil.

Costume Suggestion: Black blouse and long skirt, black gloves, large hat heavily draped with black net or tulle.

  • Elias Truist-Heath:

Young Elias is an up-and-coming heart-throb gunfighter. He can dazzle spectators with his quick draw and a spin from his guns, and when he's not showing off his slinging skills, he's demonstrating his pugilistic prowess. He's known as the best brawler west of the Mississippi and comes out of every fight with nary a scratch. Orphaned as a boy, Elias was raised under the firm, wise hand of Judge Waylon Payne. After a patriotic stint with the U.S. Cavalry, Elias returned home to Roadkill and to the women who adore him.

Costume Suggestion: Tight dungarees or jeans, half-unbuttoned plaid shirt showing genuine or applied chest hair, sideburns, mustache, bandanna tied at neck, gun belt, pistol, holster, boots and cowboy hat.

Tragical Mystery Tour[edit]

Since you happen to be among the tuned-in, turned-on crowd, you've been invited on a cross-country road trip to Beefstock with one of the hippest rock singers of all time—the legendary Miss Hedda Leiss. While you're hanging out at her "love pad," an explosion rocks the house. The psychedelic bus you were going to take cross country has been turned to dust with someone on board.

Characters[edit]

  • Philip Mabong:

Record producer and celebrated playboy Philip Mabong is founder of the wildly successful C.T.&A. Records and has boosted many struggling bands into superstardom. He is best known for producing the immortal ode to the road "Born to be Vile," by Steppencrap. A hedonist of the highest order, Philip has embraced the hippie movement---and only produces music with messages of peace, love and chemical enlightenment. Most recently he has made rock artist Hedda Leiss the most successful female artist of the decade and, in fact, has been Hedda's lover for several blissful years.

Costume Suggestion: Nehru jacket, bright sports coat with tie-dyed shirt, or ruffled shirt (or no shirt at all). Lots of jewelry.

  • Jamaica Bomblast:

Jamaica's the Rastafarian party girl, whose dreadlocks, laid-back attitude and fun-loving personality have made her the life of every party. The buzz is that Jamaica is good luck, and wherever she goes the most wonderful things tend to happen. A free spirit with a lust for life, Jamaica glides through the world with a carefree attitude. Jamaica has become a regular with the Hedda Leiss entourage, since Hedda swears by her herbal remedies for everything from hangnails to hangovers.

Costume Suggestion: Dreadlocks, halter top, flowered bell bottom.

  • Timothy Bleary:

Mind-expansionist and spiritual guru Timothy Bleary began as a humble florist but soon became famous for his counter-culture writings. He coined that now famous phrase "Tune in, turn on, and put out." He is also the founder of the Church of the Vacant Mind, and his followers can often be seen pushing Bleary's floral arrangement at street corners and airport. Recently church membership has multiplied in amazing proportions. All new members donate everything they own to Bleary in return for the transcendental honor of dispensing bouquets of love and peace to the unenlightened masses. Naturally this has endeared Bleary to the hippie culture and has padded his pockets with plenty of bread.

Costume Suggestion: A flowery shirt or frock, multi-colored sunglasses and the yin/yang sign painted on forehead.

  • Enya Goddard-Daveeda:

Former Miss Wisconsin Enya Goddard-Daveeda was once the debutante next door. She was voted Miss Congeniality and was first-runner up to Miss Hawaii in last year's Miss American pageant. Unfortunately, Enya was ejected from the pageant when she tried to bludgeon Miss Hawaii with her own crown shortly after the winner was announced. After losing her bid to be Miss American, Enya began a long fall into American counter-culture. She has taken a sudden interest in the music of Hedda Leiss and the philosophy of Timothy Bleary. In fact, Bleary has taken Enya under his wing and turned her into the Church of the Vacant Mind's High Priestess of Love—a position that has gained her more adoring fans than she could ever have hoped for.

Costume Suggestion: Everything white and loose fitting, bell-bottoms, a kerchief around the neck and flowers painted on face and arms. Or going in the other direction, white boots and miniskirt.

  • Juan Stepford Mann:

Astronaut Juan Stepford Mann is one of NASA's golden boys. He's a highly decorated Air Force major with the right stuff and is bound for the moon on one of the next Apollo missions. Although he really doesn't understand the hippie movement, he's been Burnette DeBrah's escort for several months now, and she has introduced him to heads of state as well as the hippie elite. The tuned-in, turned-on crowd despises the establishment he represents, but when it comes to the love-ins, he is, shall we say, largely welcome—in fact he's known on the love circuit as "Apollo Thirteen." Although he doesn't do mind-expanding drugs himself, lately he's been fraternizing with some highly brain-fried individuals. It's all very new and exciting for Juan, almost enough to make him forget his mysteriously tragic childhood.

Costume Suggestion: An Air Force uniform, or conservative white shirt, with dark slacks and a paisley tie.

  • Reina Terra:

Rumored to be the founder of the "low-fee love" movement, Reina Terra is the consummate groupie. She has traveled with the likes of The Tyrds, The Strolling Bones, and even The Crateful O'Dead before gaining notoriety for giving birth to the son of that flamboyant rock star, Nick Jaguar. Reina is always at the cutting edge of hippie fashions and is commonly recognized as the inventor of tie-dye. In recent months, Reina has become a regular in superstar Hedda Leiss's entourage, and, in fact, the singer considers Reina to be her closest friend.

Costume Suggestion: Tie-dyed everything, love beads, bare feet to show off ankle bracelets.

  • Nate Ashbury:

Nate, student body president of U.C. Burpley, is the upstart activist who masterminded a march on Washington that packed in millions on the Mall from the Capitol buildings to the Washington Monument. Although he was born into one of the nation's wealthiest families, he has rejected his privileged upbringing and uses his family's wealth to fund protest rallies. It is there that he inspires students around the nation with his speeches on peace, free love, and tax shelters. Handsome and suave, he's the reason young girls leave home to camp out around the Burpley campus.

Costume Suggestion: Head band, beaded vest, peace-sign medallion, tattered jeans, mood ring, sandals or thongs.

  • Burnette DeBrah:

Feminist Burnette DeBrah has led a crusade against the oppression of women—as evidenced by her successful "Bras Across America" campaign—in which thousands of women hooked together their brassieres from coast to coast and set them aflame. Since then, Burnette has been a rising political star, challenging the congressional "boys club" with a bid for Congress this coming November (which she is likely to win). Although a few years older than the Now Generation, they still consider her a groovy, tuned-in chick. Most recently she can be seen escorted by Major Juan Stepford Mann. You can't miss Burnette in any crowd because of her commanding voice and those wide-brimmed floppy hats that have become her trademark.

Costume Suggestion: Brightly colored business skirt and jacket, wide-brimmed floppy hat, oversized sunglasses.

Maiming of the Shrew[edit]

My dearest fellows:

When frosty winter shall besiege thy brow, come ye, my friends, to Twelfth Night at the Glib. Such revelry the gods may still allow for foodstuffs sticking tightly to the rib. Her Royal Highness Queen Illicibeth shall with her presence deign us at our spree. With recipes of our Lady MacDeth, O verily what foods these morsels be!

My lovely lady Katheter DeVane doth with me host our heavenly soiree. Her beauty driveth many men insane, but only I could steal her heart away. So join us at our genuine behest and take the blade of revelry to breast!

In Her Majesty's Service - William Sheepsheare

Characters[edit]

  • Queen Illicibeth:

Her Royal Highness Queen Illicibeth, also known as "the Urgin' Queen," is the tough-as-nails and severely over-dressed monarch of England. She single-handedly pulled the realm up by its bootstraps with a heavy hand and, thus, is the most loved monarch there has ever been. Aside from the recent and catastrophic defeat of her army by the French, she has been highly successful in all her endeavours. The secret of her success is her ability to move from day to day dispensing with the past and always looking to the future. The queen is a patron of the arts, is quick of wit and enjoys a good time. The preferred way to address her is "Your Majesty" or simply "Queen Beth."

Costume Suggestion: Layers of puffy, pleated clothing maketh the queen. The queen would wear her best Christmas dress, adorned in gold, red and green. The wider the girth of the skirt, the better. Large rings, jewelry and, of course, a crown are ever appropriate for a monarch.

  • Lady MacDeth:

"Double, double, toil and trouble, took her wealth and made it double." What began as an old family recipe for stuffed mutton intestines exploded into a chain of swifte foode restaurants loved by everyone from the Gauls to the Celts. Once you've visited a MacDeth's and had your first taste of McHaggis, you will never be the same. With her husband as legal owner and proprietor, the MacDeths have put most other restauranteurs out of business. Ravishingly beautiful, but of wintry demeanor, the imposing Lady MacDeth is respected and feared in courtly circles.

Costume Suggestion: A long-sleeve, high-necked dress in blacks, purples and lavenders—the colors of mourning. Hair should be pulled back into a tight bun. Heavy eye makeup also should be worn.

  • Mary, Queen of Schnapps:

Deposed of her crown by Queen Beth, this youthful and beautiful monarch of a northern realm flaunts her pretty little head in public circles, bad mouthing Queen Beth at every turn. Always decked out in the latest Illicibethan fashions, when Mary enters a room, you can hear a quill drop. She is quick of tongue, rash of action and has started wars on a whim. Nevertheless, she is tolerated in Queen Beth's court, as her dimissal would surely turn her people against English rule.

Costume Suggestion: Mary's attire should be silky and sheer, as she is such an alluring temptress of a royal. Very little jewelry will Mary Queen of Schnapps wear—perhaps a choker and a silver flash hidden somewhere on her body.

  • Ophelia Bottomsworth:

Several months ago, Ophelia survived a tempest that cast her, the only survivor of a shipwreck, onto England's shores. As a show of compassion, Queen Beth took Opehlia in, and now she works as Queen Beth's personal maidservant. Ophelia is by no means a youngster, but has seasoned into life's prime very well, indeed, with a beauty that makes it difficult to guess her age.

Costume Suggestion: The bright colors of a common, but flamboyant woman. A working girl's dress and boots "that are made for walking." Flagrant flowers adorn the hair, and a corset is always in order.

  • Spamlet, Prince of Hallmarke:

Spamlet is the young, but troubled prince of a country known for its drippy sentimentality. He is prone to glorious fits of elation and sullen bouts of melancholy, but regardless of his emotional state, he speaks the words of the soul. It is that honesty of spirit that makes him a fine diplomat and a much-loved prince, both at home and abroad. He has a gentle, loving nature and looks that could melt the heart of a witch. Queen Beth has taken Spamlet under her wing to train him for the day he will be King of Hallmarke.

Costume Suggestion: Black, black, thy clothes are black, and tight fitting at that. Black turtleneck, black pants---leather perhaps (or tights, if thou art daring). A large amulet on heavy chain completes the Prince's garb.

  • Caliban Rollon:

Caliban is a gruff commoner with strong, chiseled features that are both handsome and intimidating. Unlike the dainty men of court, Caliban has a rugged, textured face, and his eyes bear the hypnotic aspect of a hungry wolf. Countless young maidens have been drawn to his animal magnetism. He is a commoner to be sure, but few commoners have had either the charisma or the audacity to gain the attention of the ruling class.

Costume Suggestion: A commoner in a royal court, Caliban doth defy the mores of the day. He shall wear bright, tight-fitting pants and a frilly shirt open part or all the way. Few accessories be needed but for a money purse around the waist.

  • Gridlock, the Merchant of Tennis:

This shrewd tradesman made his fortunes in the creation of a sport of ball now enjoyed by noblemen throughout the land. Rumor has it, however, that the score is love in Queen Beth's court. He can often be seen in Queen Beth's company. Distinguished and dignified, Gridlock has turned male vanity into an art form, and his gilded vestments are the envy of many an aristocrat. Recently the court has been lauding his bravery, for just last month he took an assassin's arrow in the shoulder that was meant for the Queen. For his bravery, he is scheduled to be knighted in a fortnight and granted an enormous estate.

Costume Suggestion: Gridlock is a man of many rings—large ones on each finger. He, like the queen, will have many layers of pleated clothing—anything excessive and gaudy. A tennis racket will complete the outfit.

  • Costello the Abbot:

Costello had once been the head of an elite monastic order, but when the Duke of Flatbush tore his abbey down to build a tract hovel development, Costello sought refuge among London's theatre elite. Although he is still a holy man and dreams of reviving his monastic order, he has earned himself a reputation as a theatre critic. His scathing review of Sheepsheare's play All's Well that Ends Where Everyone Dies is more often remembered than the play itself. Thus, Costello is a celebrity in his own right.

Costume Suggestion: Simple garb for a complex man. A dark-hooded robe held together by a frayed rope and sandals. A bow haircut or wig befits the abbot well.

Saturday Night Cleaver[edit]

Dear Dancin' Fools: You are cordially invited to shake your fool thing at a special party at the one and only Flunkytown Disco, the hottest dance club in da' Bronx. As owner of Flunkytown, you can bet I'll be your boogie man on the dance floor all night long, as I always am. With that bodacious DJ Wolfman Bob crankin' the discs it will be one hapennin' night – and, hey, superstar singer Manny Baritone has promised to stop by and sign autographs. So bring your leisure suits, gold chains and platform shoes and take the love train down to Flunkytown, where we play that funky music till you die! Be there or be square, Stan A. Live .

Characters[edit]

  • Vinny V. Divichi:

By day, Vinny is a mild-mannered mechanic, but by night, watch out! He explodes into the leisure-suited, gold-chained dynamo disco stud who has scorched the hearts of many a Bronx girl. He moves with such grace, he truly makes you believe that disco will never die. He's as cool as Baretta, and hotter than Erik Estrada.

Costume Suggestion: Gold chains, a leisure suit, and platform shoes; or a shiny, loudly patterned nylon disco shirt paired with polyester bell-bottomes (wedge a big comb in the back pocket as a finishing touch).

  • Brady Bunsch:

Brady flew out to the back streets of da' Bronx several months ago in search of his wayward son, Robby, who ran from a sheltered split-level life in West Coast suburbia in search of seedier pastures. Although Brady has not yet found his son, he has found—to his surprise—that he loves the nightlife, he likes to boogie. Now he's a wild and crazy guy with a happening perm, and a new attitude.

Costume Suggestion: Brady is much more reserved. A plain button shirt or one with a conservative print, a wide tie, and dark slacks. Permed hair (or a permed wig).

  • Angina Palpitori:

Rumored to have caused more than one heart attack among her many "dance" partners, she gives the expression "drop-dead gorgeous" new meaning. Angie's a well-endowed beauty and a regular on the New York disco circuit. From the bleached top of her coif to the tips of her stiletto pumps, Angie is a force to be reckoned with on the flashing floors of New York's discos.

Costume Suggestion: A low-cut silk dress that flares when she spins, big earrings, lots of make-up --- blue eyeshadow, false eyelashes --- and feathered/winged hair.

  • Polly Esther Stuffincup:

Polly is a rich girl from Lawn Guyland, who loves "slumming it" and coming down to the Bronx discos every chance she gets. She's not much of a dancer, but what she lacks in rhythm, she makes up for in style and ultra-expensive clothes. After wisely investing the money she got for her Sweet 16 party, Polly no longer has to rely on Daddy's money. Now, at 19, Polly's almost as rich as her Dar, H. R. Stuffincup.

Costume Suggestion: A skirt that's way too short, showing off her legs. Gaudy eye makeup and that "fashionable" white lipstick. A sheer blouse and padded bra, or a tube top.

  • Knight Feevah:

Knight came out from Sheboygan to the Big Apple to be a star, but quickly became a student of the school of hark knocks. Now penniless, he works mixing drinks at Flunkytown's bar and lives in a one-room apartment above the funhouse at Coney Island. But his luck is changing, Knight has boyish good looks and has always been popular with the girls because, shall we say, he makes a great Harvey Wallbanger.

Costume Suggestion: A muscle shirt and embroidered or studded denim flares.

  • Manny Baritone:

Celebrity crooner Manny Baritone is the master of love ballads and catchy disco tunes. He's in town promoting his new disco song about the new-fangled microwave oven. The song, "Copa-Amana," has gotten red-hot faster than a fork in a radar-range and has shot right to the top of the charts. Although he has a sold-out concert later this week, he's making a detour to Flunkytown Disco to sign autographs because it's smack in the middle of the Bronx neighborhood where he grew up. Beneath the sequined pantsuit, he's still just a nice Bronx boy.

Costume Suggestion: A sequined pants suit would be best, but otherwise any outfit that glitters and flashes. Platform shoes. An autographing pen, and a microphone.

  • Belle Badham:

Belle, Stan A. Live's wife, is the business sense behind Stan's inspiration. She's the one who took a failed neighborhood business and turned it into Flunkytown, da' Bronx's leading disco. Rumor has it that Flunkytown is beginning to get bigger crowds than the most famous disco of all: the infamous "Studio 10-to-Life." A formidable woman, Belle's as intimidating as the club's bouncers and has had to defend herself against the advances of many a drunk patron.

Costume Suggestion: Belle doesn't go in for the disco fashions. Her outfit should be much more business-like. A polyester pants suit, matching patterned shirt, dark eye make-up, hair back in a bun.

  • Chaka Moon:

Chaka Moon is one mysterious chick. Always decked out in the latest fashions and a huge mink coat that trails on the ground, she arrives each night at Flunkytown in a flashy white Lincoln, with a stud on each arm. She sits at a corner table, conducting secret business dealings with rich men. She wears a seductive smile that never betrays her emotions, and you can't read anything in her eyes because of her silver shades that reflect the bright lights of Flunkytown like a disco ball.

Costume Suggestion: A stunning gown, reflective sunglasses, fur--- or fake-fur--- coat, long red fingernails, perfectly coiffed "glam" hair.

An Affair to Dismember[edit]

One stormy Halloween night at the Castle Von Morgue, the creme de la creme of ghoul society have gathered for the engagement party of Neville Aster-Night and Lizzie Bordeaux.

A Storm Rages Outside and the Halloween midnight buffet at Castle Von Morgue is about to commence. Your host, Neville Aster-Night, is nowhere to be seen. As you all gather in the mourning room, the head servant apprises everyone of her masters' murder.

As you assume the role of one of these ghoulish characters and solve the mystery, you and your seven dinner guests will enjoy hours of suspense and intrigue. All you need is a sense of humour and a light-hearted approach toward deceit, larceny, and murder.

Characters[edit]

  • The Mummy of King Aldrinktotat

Three thousand years in a tomb can really cramp your style --- so when he was uncovered 20 years ago, the Mummy left Egypt and has never gone back. Since then he has stalked the globe, painting the world red in search of a good time. Madness, mayhem and wanton destruction often follow in his wake because, hey, this bag of bones knows how to party. Always well-dressed in designer linen strips, the Mummy is welcome in hotspots everywhere. He is also a celebrated author --- his self-help book Life Begins at 3,000 was on the bestseller list for years. True, he has incredibly dry skin, but the babes don't seem to mind that he's a little bit flaky.

Costume Suggestion: Use toilet paper or fabric strips wrapped around your entire body. Accessorize with Egyptian jewelry.

  • Balihi, The Rogersandhammerstein Monster

Constructed from body parts of various and sundry individuals, Balihi is a little bit country and a little bit rock-and-roll --- but mostly musical theater. Within weeks of his reanimation, he was accepted to Juilliard, received a degree in decomposition, and has been known to terrorize hapless villages with smarmy show tunes until their brains explode. His works include "Graveside Story," "Eternally Damned Yankees," and "Cats." Balihi is quite the ladies-monster; women adore his stylish, diamond-stud neck bolts and level head. While many women have tried to nail him down in marriage, he always broke loose before vows were exchanged.

Costume Suggestion: Frankenstein Mask (For the truly daring) Accessorize with a ballet leotard and tutu.

  • Asthmadeus, The Prince of Dimness

The younger brother of the Prince of Darkness was never cut out for a life in Heck. For one thing, his chronic respiratory condition simply can't handle the heat, and secondly, he's deathly afraid of the dark. In fact, he's rumored to sleep with a nightlight in his cavern --- hence he has been dubbed "The Prince of Dimness." Of course, that's not the only reason for the title. The junior prince has never been accused of being the brightest flare in purgatory --- but what he lacks in brains, he makes up for in boyish good looks. Well versed in all forms of decadence, the Prince spends his life party-hopping the world in his silver Rolls Royce (his brother got the gold one). Often seen with his close friend and confidant, Balihi, the two have been known to cruise the crypts for undead babes.

Costume Suggestion: Devil Costume. Accessorize with asthma inhaler and nightlight.

  • Hannibal Schecter

Hannibal Schecter is the world's only documented kosher cannibal. It all began several years ago after he heard that unforgettable lyric by Balihi, "Some enchanted evening you may eat a stranger." Hannibal did precisely that and hasn't stopped since. Following the strict dietary laws of his faith has always been a challenge for the hypnotically charming maneater --- especially because most of the people who deserve to be eaten are either swine or bottom feeders and therefore off limits. Still, he's made do, and has risen to the occasion in high style. Always dressed at the height of classic fashion, Hannibal can often be seen escorting tasty beauties to funerals, wakes, and other society functions. Not surprisingly those beauties are rarely heard from again.

Costume Suggestion: Suit and tie.

  • Glumda, The Wicked Witch of DePressed

Glumda comes from the armpit of OZ; a place far from the glamour of the Emerald City. In her mountain-side village of DePressed, the scarecrows won't dance, the lions won't sing, and even the munchkins are in therapy. Always jealous of the other more prosperous enchantresses, the Witch spends much of her days casting spells of mischief to pass the time. She rarely leaves her remote fortress except to engage in her hobby of mile-hile acrobatics on her broom. Feared and respected, Glumda is statuesque woman with a piercing gaze, pale green complexion, and fingernails that could gut a grouper with a single thrust.

Costume Suggestion: Long, flowing black cloak or dress. Accessorize with pointed hat, green face, long fingernails and broom.

  • Angela Deth, DDS

It is believed that early man's leading cause of death was dental trouble, but Dr. Angela Deth wants to bring back the good old days. This beautiful dentist is famous for putting her patients under --- six feet under, that is. The vivacious Dr. Deth earned the admiration of ghoulkind when she perfected the Intergenerational Root Canal. Although she was given the electric chair several years ago, she was mysteriously saved at the last instant by a blackout and escaped before the power came back on. Now, she roams the world, performing random acts of dentistry on poor unsuspecting citizens. Angela's favorite patient is the Mummy of King Aldrinktothat, whose 3,000-year-old teeth are a psychotic dentist's dream.

Costume Suggestion: Dentist's coat with a hand-held drill.

  • Aretha Garlique

The effervescent Aretha Garlique is renowned the world over as a flamboyant clairvoyant, able to speak to departed souls over the ethernet. She has done seances for royalty and heads of state and has aided the FBI and Scotland Yard in tracking down murderers by contacting the dead themselves to get eyewitness accounts. She's channeled hundreds of men from Elvis to Alexander the Great, who, after having him, turned out not to be so great after all. Because of her supernatural powers, she is feared and hated by the undead, which is why she always wears garlic around her neck. The proper way to address her is Madame Garlique.

Costume Suggestion: A flowing skirt or dress in purples, greens and blues. Accessorize with scarf around the head and use a bowling ball to forecast the future. Tarot cards would also serve as a fun prop for the party.

  • Lizzie Bordeaux

This gothic and enigmatic woman hails from the south of France. Rumors that she hacked her parents apart with an ax as a child are all unsubstantiated. Besides the murders happened while her parents were on vacation in Texas and the weapon was a chainsaw. Regardless, Lizzie has had to fend for herself since her youth and has learned the cutthroat ways of business. A sharp and incisive woman, and never one to mince words, she's carved out a slice of the Transylvanian dream. Now, she's the respected owner of the Motel California and is engaged to Deadbolt's leading citizen, Neville Aster-Night.

Costume Suggestion: Black clothing and heavy eye makeup. Wear a large "diamond" engagement ring and a dress suitable for "your" engagement party.

All My Children[edit]

Eight of Pine Valley's most colorful characters await the arrival of their host at a dinner party held at the elegant Chateau Restaurant. But high spirits soon turn to astonishment as Detective Trevor Dillon announces that their host has been murdered! Which "All My Children" suspect is guilty of committing the crime? You and your dinner guests will enjoy hours of suspense and intrigue recreating eight of daytime television's most tantalizing roles and figuring who among you is the murderer! All you need is a sense of humor and a willingness to take a lighthearted attitude toward blackmail, sex, larceny, deceit and murder. Just add eight suspects and the food. This "All My Children" special edition episode of How to Host a Murder supplies the rest!

Star Trek: The Next Generation[edit]

STARDATE 47729.25: An eight-member away team from the USS Enterprise-D has found the legendary Orb of Knowledge. (Note: This is not one of the Bajoran Orbs, but an equally legendary artifact nonetheless.) However, later at a celebratory banquet, Captain Jean-Luc Picard discovers that the Orb has disappeared, and several of the personnel guarding it have been assaulted. A brief investigation leads to the fact that only someone in the away team could have committed the assault and subsequent theft of the Orb. But which one could it be – Commander William T. Riker, Dr. Beverly Crusher, Lt. Cmdr. Data, Counselor Deanna Troi, Lt. Worf, Ensign Ro Laren, Lt. Cmdr. Geordi La Forge or Ten Forward hostess Guinan?

Hot Times at Hollywood High[edit]

You are invited to the "Most Likely" Club banquet at Hollywood High School. But when you arrive at the Hardest Rock Cafeteria, you discover that a fire in the science lab turns out to be arson. And test answers are missing from the principals office. As you assume the role of one of these eight cool characters and solve the mystery, you and your guests will enjoy hours of suspense and intrigue. All you need is a sense of humor and a light-hearted approach toward blackmail, theft and deceit.

Characters[edit]

  • FLETCHER BYSEPPS Voted "Most Likely To Sweat Professionally," Fletcher is a popular football star destined to play pro ball if only he can get a college scholarship. He has dated half the girls in Hollywood - but rarely more than once. His friends call him "Flex."
  • JUANITA GREENCARDE Voted "Most Likely To Rule A Small Country" Juanita is the beautiful daughter of an elite Colombian importer. Sexy, mysterious and a real tease, Juanita likes to steal other people's boyfriends just for sport. Her current boyfriend is student body president Spence DeMonet.
  • DUNCAN FLUSHWATER A computer and math genius Duncan wants to use his skills to discover faster-than-light travel. He was voted "Most Likely To Warp." Back in grade school, tough kids would get their kicks by flushing his head. This earned him the nickname "Flushie." After changing his image, he is one of the most popular kids.
  • TANYA BUNSOFF A model for top bathing suit designers, Tanya's curvy body and pretty smile recently won her the tide of "Miss Malibu." She was voted "Most Likely To Be Worshiped From Afar." The target of much attention from the boys, Tanya has little interest in dating.
  • BERNADETTE DOWN Bernadette was voted "Most Likely To Hang" (in an art museum). Her recent work, Still Life on a School Bus, is now on display at the museum. Growing up on the streets of Hollywood, she has a tough-girl image. Always dressed in black, she is aloof and distant from most of her fellow students.
  • CAMERON KORDIER "Cam" was voted "Most Likely To Get Snubbed At The Oscars." His new student film, Silence of the Spam, is a documentary about cafeteria food, which has won much praise. Cam dates socialite Chantella Solle, which almost guarantees him a bright future in films.
  • CHANTELLA SOLLE A cheerleader with loads of enthusiasm, Chantella was voted "Most Likely To Sign Autographs." Whether people want them or not. Raised in The Valley, her life changed when her mother gained control of 19th Century Weasel Films and bought a mansion in Bel Airhead. Chantella can't resist a man with a camera and is dating Cam Kordier.
  • SPENCE DEMONET The dashing student body president, Spence was voted "Most Likely To Own California." In addition to being a swell guy, he is also a local hero, having rescued school mascot Murray the Mink from a construction site. Spence's girlfriend is Juanita Greencarde, the sexiest girl in high school.

Barbecue With a Vampire[edit]

"You are invited to attend a barbecue at the very spooky castle of rock superstar Killian Killagan. But when you arrive, you discover that someone at the barbecue is turning helpless citizens into bats. As you assume the role of one of these eight eerie characters and solve the mystery, you and your guests will enjoy hours of suspense and intrigue. All you need is a sense of humor and a light-hearted approach toward blackmail, theft and deceit. How To Host A Teen Mystery is so much fun it's almost criminal!"

Characters[edit]

[Note: the characters of Robin O'Positive and Killian Killagan can be played by either a male or female]

  • Jacqueline Hyde - Also known as "Jackie" to her friends, she's a health food freak and a body builder - she's constantly working out and has been known to beat up guys twice her size. She's also a Spokesperson for the local health food store "Sprouts-R-Us." Her rippling muscles have earned her the title of Junior Miss Triceps, yet she still manages to act very femininely. At night Jackie is a party animal, tracking down every party in town and dancing till dawn. It must be true that opposites attract because Jackie's new boyfriend is the malnourished, sad-looking Juan Stephan LaGrave.
  • Juan Stephan LaGrave - If Juan wasn't so thin, pale and sad-looking, he'd be one of the most attractive guys in school. He's also the poorest kid in school. His father's an undertaker for the local Albanian Orthodox funeral home, but since there are no Albanian Orthodox people in town, he is forced to work for mad scientist and other such employers. Juan's father often talks to him about the family business, promising, "One day all this will be yours." Juan isn't too thrilled about it. Things are beginning to look up - he is dating the popular Jacqueline Hyde and is good friends with rock star Killian Killagan.
  • Freda Evertin - Boys would always tease Freda with spiders and snakes when she was a little girl. She was terrified of everything...and still is. She is afraid of the dark, scared of insects, terrified by animals, not trusting of anyone - and yet she lives in an old mansion, which is said to be haunted. Freda's family owned the well-known amusement park Six Black Flags, but ever since it was washed away during Hurricane Vlad, Freda's family has been shrouded in mystery.
  • Dwayne Dentartery - Dwayne is a slick, handsome and incredible conceited young prince from a small Eastern European country. When his father's government was overturned a year ago, Dwanyne and his family used their private jet to escape. They arrived here during Hurricane Vlad. he expects people to treat him like royalty, and usually everyone does. There's just something about him that's compelling...perhaps it's his hypnotic gaze.
  • Anita Lotta Tai-Pei - Anita is Dwayne's girlfriend and is so completely devoted to him that she waits on him like a servant - which is how Dwayne treats her. She used to be the schools best student. Popular, confident and outspoken, she is a natural leader, in spite of the tragic disappearance of her mother and the family riches so many years ago. Anita's last boyfriend Howie Bledsoe broke up with her last year, but Dwayne helped her forget Howie. Nothing else matters to her anymore except Prince Dwayne.
  • Howie Bledsoe - Athletic Howie Bledsoe was the victim of a freak lawn mower accident during Hurricane Vlad, and was on the operating table for two weeks. Surgeons were forced to transplant nearly every one of his organs. Now, with the hands of a football player and the legs of a soccer player, he stars in every sport. With the eyes of an artist, he creates amazing paintings...and with the tongue of a poet, he melts girls' hearts. He dated Anita before the accident but dumped her when he realized that all the girls love him now. They don't even seem to mind the many scars left by his numerous operations.
  • Robin O'Positive - A child prodigy who completed college at age twelve and medical school at fifteen, Robin is the state's youngest practicing surgeon. Just a year ago during Hurricane Vlad, Robin was forced to remove a spleen in the emergency room, saving the life of a local resident. Everyone loves Robin's high spirits and sunny disposition. "Surgery with a smile" is Robin's motto.
  • Killian Killagan - Reclusive and strange, this famous recording artist lives alone in a dark castle on top of a high bluff at the edge of town. Killian likes all things spooky: scary movies and horror books. Killian's parents were victims of a tragic Venus Flytrap encounter during hurricane Vlad.

Roswell that Ends Well[edit]

You are invited to attend a luau and all-night star gazing party at Allen Ian Abduxion's Point Doom beach house. But when you arrive, you discover that someone at the party has been involved in extraterrestrial foul play.

Characters[edit]

[Note: the characters of Carey O'Reagun and Koushpa Tater can be played by either a male or female player]

  • Ariel LeSalt: An adventurer and thrill-seeker.
  • Dexter Terrestrial: The richest kid in town.
  • Endira DeWorley: A newcomer to Point Doom, she seems to know a lot about everybody's business.
  • Klaus N. Counter: A super-genius with a bad boy attitude.
  • Twyla Zoan: The most popular girl in school.
  • "Speed-O" Leitner: Olympic swimmer and weekend lifeguard.
  • Carey O'Reagun: A conspiracy nut.
  • Koushpa Tater: "Tate" is a foreign exchange student.

References[edit]

  1. ^ RobinGoodfellow (2012-01-27). "Fight Klūb - Community". Decipher.com. Retrieved 2012-02-14. 
  2. ^ http://www.decipher.com/

External links[edit]