How to be a Complete Bastard

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Book cover

How to be a Complete Bastard is a 1986 book by Adrian Edmondson, Mark Leigh and Mike Lepine. ISBN 0-86369-182-X ISBN 978-0863691829

The book was a spin-off from Adrian Edmondson's character Vyvyan in The Young Ones, and contained a selection of ways to be a "complete bastard" to those around you. Some examples are:

  • "How to be a Bastard Student:" Join the Free Nelson Mandela Society and demand your free Nelson Mandela. (note: at the time of publication nearly every UK university had a society of that name campaigning for the release of Nelson Mandela)
  • "How to be a Bastard Parent:" Things babies are good for: Filling their pants with shit. (That's about it really) What to do if baby cries: 1) Put on an Iron Maiden album 2) Listen to it at full volume
  • "How to be a Complete Bastard to the Deaf:" Go like this: (sequence of cartoons depicting sign language alphabet gestures spelling "FUCK OFF") Alternatively, go like this: (single cartoon depicting V-sign gesture)

It was followed up with The Complete Bastard's Book of the Worst in 1989.

The book was also turned into a video game for ZX Spectrum,[1][2] Amstrad CPC[3] and Commodore 64,[4][5][6] as well as a board game published by Paul Lamond Games Ltd.[7]

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