I Hate Myself and Want to Die
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|"I Hate Myself and Want to Die"|
|Song by Nirvana|
|Released||1994 (B-side to "Pennyroyal Tea")|
|Recorded||February 1993 at Pachyderm Studios, Cannon Falls, Minnesota|
The song was recorded under the title "2 Bass Kid" during the In Utero sessions.
Kurt Cobain originally intended to call the band's third studio album (In Utero) I Hate Myself and Want to Die. Cobain changed his mind due to fear that the dark humor of the title would be lost on some critics and fans, and after being convinced by fellow Nirvana member Krist Novoselic that the band might end up with lawsuits if Cobain stuck with the originally intended title. In October 1993, Rolling Stone writer David Fricke had a converstation with Cobain, one of the subjects was "I Hate Myself and Want to Die"; Cobain said the song wasn't meant to be taken literally, and only as a joke.
During the original song, Kurt Cobain reads the following from Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey: "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." However, the demo features a solo in its place, in addition to a feedback-laden intro also not present on the original version.
Noel Gallagher from Oasis said in an interview included in the bonus DVD of the Oasis compilation Stop the Clocks that this song inspired him to write "Live Forever", as he thought I Hate Myself and Want to Die was a bit too depressing and it set him about writing an uplifting song, although Gallagher is a Nirvana fan. Gallagher observed: "At the time, it was written in the middle of grunge and all that and I remember Nirvana had a tune called I Hate Myself and Want to Die, which I was like, 'Well, I'm not fucking having that. As much as I fucking like him and all that shit, I'm not having that. I can't have people like that coming over here, on smack, fucking saying that they hate themselves and they wanna die. That's fucking rubbish!' And I'm not saying it was written directly as a retort to that but that was my thinking was 'Fuck that, man, kids don't need to hear that sort of nonsense.' It seemed like to me he was a guy that had everything, and was miserable about it. But we had fuck all! And I still thought that getting up in the morning was the greatest fucking thing ever.'"
The song itself was also originally going to be included on the In Utero album but was later pulled by Kurt Cobain. He later donated it to the Beavis and Butthead compilation album after Geffen offered him $60,000 for it.
In an interview with Guitar World, Kurt Cobain said that it was dropped from In Utero because Cobain thought there were too many noise songs in a row. "It was just a typical, boring song," he says. "We could write that song in our sleep. There was no point to putting it on the record. If you look back on the record, there are so many noise songs all in a row that it makes it seem like it's nothing but a noise record. It's really not; there are plenty of soft spots to it."
It is also quite likely that the commercial single of "Pennyroyal Tea" was withdrawn after his death because the B-side was "I Hate Myself and Want To Die," which could arguably be described as an unsuitable epitaph that Nirvana's record company would not like to release.
- The completed studio version was released on the 1993 compilation album The Beavis and Butt-Head Experience, and also as a B-side to the "Pennyroyal Tea" single in 1994. A radio promo of this version was released in Holland in 1994.
- A demo version was released on disc #3 of the 2004 box set With the Lights Out.
- Cross, Charles R. (2002). "That Legendary Divorce". Heavier Than Heaven: The Biography of Kurt Cobain (Paperback ed.). Sceptre. p. 262. ISBN 978-1-444-71389-3.
- Crosbie, Lynn (27 September 2011). "Twenty years after Nevermind, Cobain's candle still burns". The Globe and Mail. Retrieved 21 November 2012.
- Fricke, David (27 January 1994). "Kurt Cobain: The Rolling Stone Interview | Music News". Rolling Stone. p. 3. Retrieved 21 October 2012.
- "Hidden Track » The B List: 8 Rejected Album Titles". Glidemagazine.com. 11 August 2007. Retrieved 21 November 2012.
- Cross, Charles R. (2002). "Heart-Shaped Coffin". Heavier Than Heaven: The Biography of Kurt Cobain (Paperback ed.). Sceptre. p. 268. ISBN 978-1-444-71389-3.
- Bentley, Tiffany (28 March 2012). "David Fricke of Rolling Stone magazine tells intimate rock stories during talk at Allentown Art Museum". lehighvalleylive.com. Retrieved 21 November 2012.
- Werner, Erica L. (29 September 1994). "Prozac Nation: Elizabeth Wurtzel's Unofficial Guide to Whining | News | The Harvard Crimson". Thecrimson.com. Retrieved 21 November 2012.
- "Oasis - Noel & Liam about Live Forever (and Nirvana)". Youtube. Retrieved 14 November 2012.
- Critic's Notebook; Reflections on Cobain's Short Life, Jon Pareles, The New York Times, April 11, 1994
- Franz, Steven (17 August 2011). "Browsing the Punk Rock Rummage Sale on a $17.50 budget | Music | The A.V. Club Milwaukee". Avclub.com. Retrieved 21 November 2012.
- Vikkeh (4 November 2009). "Daily Music Dose: The Blackout on Vikkeh~'s Blog - Buzznet". Vikkivendetta.buzznet.com. Retrieved 21 November 2012.