I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining
|"I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining"|
|South Park episode|
From left to right: Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny, as depicted in the live-action "reenactment".
|Episode no.||Season 16
|Directed by||Trey Parker|
|Written by||Trey Parker|
|Original air date||April 18, 2012|
|South Park (season 16)
List of South Park episodes
"I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining" is the sixth episode of the sixteenth season of the American animated sitcom South Park, and the 229th episode overall. It was aired on Comedy Central in the United States on April 18, 2012 and is rated TV-MA L.
In the spirit of reality shows such as Animal Planet's I Shouldn't Be Alive (and incorporating that show's narrator Eric Meyers), the four boys go to the Colorado Mountains to try ziplining, but their trip keeps taking unexpected turns.
As Kenny, Stan, Kyle, and Eric Cartman try to decide what to do on spring break, they suddenly find themselves in a unanimous agreement over a plan to try ziplining for the first time. Excited, they encounter the tour guide, who places them in a room full of people who try to force small talk onto them. Following an over half-an-hour wait for all who signed up, a long and boring safety video is played twice and the group is taken to a bumpy shuttle bus. Upon arriving to the spot, everyone is forced to hear about the biology of the trees in the area due to a single request. The boys find ziplining frustratingly boring (mostly because of the annoying, enthusiastic tourists surrounding them) and decide to leave; however, they are horrified after the tour guide tells them that there are 16 more ziplining spots to finish.
Things get worse when Cartman, loaded with sugar and caffeine from drinking excessive amounts of Mountain Dew, constantly farts; instead of stopping, he goes on to drink "Double Dew". After being further delayed by a free lunch of wet sandwiches, the boys use twigs to form the word "HELP" on the ground and wait. Cartman gets a diarrhea attack and tries to find a restroom; Kyle tries to persuade him use the forest as a restroom, but Cartman claims the diarrhea would attract beavers. Stan walks over to one of the employees to tell them that one of his friends has herpes ("cold sore" is the feminine slang) as an excuse to leave the group, so, despite their enthusiasm with ziplining, the employees points to a nearby horse ranch, to which the boys eagerly head towards it. However, it turns out immediately that the horses are used for a tour group as well and cannot go faster than four miles per hour. While the tour group stops for lunch, Kyle lies on a rock, weak with boredom (annoyed by the fact that one of the tourists are saying "Long story short" but is not actually making it short). Stan notices a marina in the proximity, and so they decide to get a boat to try and escape. A viewer discretion warning appears, flashing to a live action sequence.
The power boat turns out to be slow as well (going five miles an hour), and the boys snap. Cartman is blamed for his diarrhea, everyone is trying to recall whose idea it was to go ziplining to begin with, except for Kenny, who does not care as he is apparently dying from a combination of boredom and herpes. Cartman defecates into the water; it attracts beavers, which the boys fight off. They then realize that falling asleep might result in their death, so in order to keep everyone awake, Kyle asks Cartman to share his drink (now "Diet Double Dew"), but he refuses to let Kenny touch it. Kenny eventually dies and the three boys end up contracting herpes anyway. When Kyle and Cartman start arguing on whose idea it was to go ziplining again, Stan admits that he was the one who signed them up for the ziplining tour, in order to receive a free 5th generation iPod nano (which cannot be traded). Stan however revealed this earlier in the episode in one of the interview scenes that excessively occur throughout, although he was reluctant to tell his friends. Kyle and Cartman are outraged and they all have an emotional breakdown. Just as all hope seems lost, the boys are miraculously rescued by Mr. Hankey who takes them home. At this point, the live action sequence ends and reverts to its original animation format (however, the short interview scenes were still animated, during the live action sequence).
In the aftermath, Kenny's body is delivered to his family. Stan and Cartman are treated for their herpes (Cartman claims it was a cold sore), and Kyle is hospitalized due to Cartman's feces stuck in his nose following Cartman's incessant farting. Motivated to raise awareness about the boredom risks of ziplining, Stan makes a video, but ends up "jackin' it in San Diego" à la Jason Russell again as he did in the previous episode. Cartman goes back to drinking Diet Double Dew.
- Kleinman, Jacob (April 19, 2012). "Episode 1606 'I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining' Review and Recap". International Business Times.
- "I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining" at South Park Studios.