This play is about a small professional theatre company in a midsized city. The company strives to maintain funding even as they receive financial cuts. They learn that they will be inspected in order to receive a grant. As more and more things go wrong, the company tries to deal with each other while getting through the show.
MJ: The over-the-top stage manager who also plays Martha Cratchit in the show within a show. Can't stop laughing
Wayne: The wannabe actor mistaken for the inspector. The company lets him make terrible changes because they think they will get money from him.
Zorah: The insane, Lithuanian director: She is very emotional and constantly on the verge of a meltdown. Slept with Phil.
Luther: The boy too big to play Tiny Tim. Leaves halfway after Act I because he has booked a TV show
Dorothy: The British dialect coach who also plays Emily Cratchit. Trying to push her duo show with her husband Sydney on Wayne.
Sydney: Plays the ghost of Jacob Marley and Fezziwig. Constantly making noise with his ghostly chains, even as Fezziwig.
Phil: Plays Bob Cratchit. Is in love with Zorah due to their one night stand.
Walter: The company's first black actor. Doesn't know any of his lines. Plays all three ghosts.
Kevin: The company's financial director. Nervous eater, tries to suck up to the inspector as much as possible.
Bart: The semi-douchey guy who plays all of the other male roles in the show.
Larry: Middle-aged man whose wife left him. He buries all these emotions and instead acts out by trying to put as much social justice in the show. Did the show in Spanish last year because he got bored.
Betty: The inspector. Watches Act II from on stage. Gets punch spilled on her and consequently comes out dressed as the Queen at the end of the show, as that is the only costume they had in stock that fit her