Internet friendship
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Internet friendships are friendships between people who have met online, and in some cases know each other only via the Internet. Online friendships are similar in many ways to pen pal relationships and, like internet romance, they have been widely debated and often criticized.
It is arguably very difficult for people to establish meaningful relationships with those they can't see or interact with. Without verbal and physical cues that assist in gauging a person's emotions, there is a high possibility of deception. Since the development of high-speed, broadband internet, the face of Internet friendships has changed significantly. It is possible to hold real-time audio and video conversations over the Internet (creating telepresence), providing additional levels of interactivity beyond plain text.
Still, use of these technologies is not always feasible or convenient, and some people may prefer not to use them.
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[edit] Internet relationships
As in any matter involving human interpersonal relationships, the outcomes of such relationships can vary widely. There have been many cases where relationships that began as online romances led to meetings and long term relationships or marriage. In cases where people in a relationship are geographically separate, the relationship can often be started or continued online, which some people call online relationships or internet relationships (in some cases for some time between an initial meeting and one of those involved moving), this bears significant similarity to long distance relationships which were maintained over other forms of long distance communication in the past, including telephonic or pen pal relationships. It has been argued that the development of the internet added a significant enhancement to long distance relationships (regardless of whether those involved had met physically) because it allows for much more frequent and personal conversation than any previous technology had, thereby reducing some of the difficulties associated with traditional long distance relationships. When it comes to interpersonal relationships, information and communication technologies (ICTs) can have both positive and negative effects. The direction of these impacts may depend on the ethics involved in the situation. Given that “Ethics must always be a part of the interpersonal relationship, whether it be a relationship with friends, an intimate, family members, business colleagues, or social groupings” (Englehardt, 2001, p. 1) Internet relationships are a relatively new type of relationship. The process of the relationship initiation is similar but because it is not initiated face to face the propensity for questionable ethical behavior may lead to deception and other problematic relationship issues. Researchers are now just beginning to broach this category as it applies to interpersonal relationships. Computer mediated communication has become an more popular way for people to communicate, making it possible for complete strangers to meet and initiate various types of relationships. Surveys (Pew 2007) indicated that 70 percent of American adults use the internet (141 million). Over 90 percent of these adults will send and receive email primarily. As of August 2006 16 percent used CMC for use of social networking websites and 13 percent used the internet to access electronic dating sites like eHarmony. Specific numbers as to how many people use computer mediated communication to initiate and develop relationships are not known. These surveys confirm that people are increasingly using the internet to maintain contact with other people. Studies have show that people with low self esteem. Studies have shown that although internet relationships take longer to develop due to the slowness of the communication exchange inherent in using the web, these couples are able to become as close as those who meet face-to-face along dimensions such as affection, immediacy, receptivity, trust, and depth (Walther & Burgoon, 1992). A person can take advantage of the fact that there is no opportunity for a partner to compare a self-presentation to what he/she can physically see; this can be done either by misrepresenting himself/herself or even creating a new self (Schnarch, 1997). This can lead to deception and other ethical issues.
[edit] Deception
Online relationships have received negative reception from critics and skeptics alike due to how easy the internet makes deception possible. The internet allows complete confidentiality so it is often easy for the deceiver to find a picture of an individual they chose to later represent themselves as to the victim for a variety of reasons. Information is easily altered, and many people state incorrect information about their age, their gender and their appearance. The deceiver creates an online persona when they chat with other people. While many people do this, some people are still honest when they talk online, but because of the easy deception many people are wary about people they meet online. Although it may seem that a long distance relationship is safer, the possibility of misrepresentation is more prevalent. “Online dating allows people to find a better match for themselves because they can get to know a lot more people”. However, 57 percent of Internet users indicated that individuals who use online dating websites misrepresent themselves by lying about their marital status. In this same study, and of the 204 individuals who visited a dating web site, 43 percent of individuals took the relationship offline to date and 17 percent engaged in a long-term/marriage relationship with the individual they met via the web site. What then of the other 26 percent? We do not know. There is currently no information on why these individuals did not make it to a committed relationship. It could have been something as simple as incompatibility, or something more severe like online deception and misrepresentation. This could be one explanation for why, of 585 respondents, 13 percent felt the need to use the Internet to find information on someone they were currently dating or were scheduled to meet for a first date. Individuals often question the morality of individuals they have met online, which in itself can result in unethical behavior on their part. CMC is playing an integral role in the development of a communication culture that is being heavily exercised by societal members. Even those relationship maintenance practices that may be perceived as being positive may have an unethical result. For example, although the Internet allows individuals to meet many people and get to know them better, these online relationships may result in cyber-cheating or an offline affair. Yet, 83 percent of individuals in marriage or committed relationships believe the Internet and email have no impact on their relationship at all. Of the 254who feel there is an impact, only 13 percent say that the impact is negative (PEW Internet & American Life Project, 2007). It is time we gain additional knowledge on how CMC is affecting our relationship and whether these perceptions are in fact accurate. Deception can occur in both face to face and computer mediated communication.
[edit] Online Relationships
Due to the internet's immense popularity it is often utilized to find a partner. Skeptics do not believe that it is possible for someone to fall in love online, suggesting they have not felt real chemistry and can't be sure of who the person they're talking to really is. Because of this, people disregard online relationships as not real, or as a fake. While the opposite has been proven[1], skeptics of the subject are not convinced that dating online can lead to a successful outcome. Many people in online relationships have to endure ridicule and criticism from family, friends and even strangers on the internet itself because it's considered unsuccessful. However, in spite of this, many people who have experienced successful internet relationships feel that it is better for them than first meeting in person. This is due to the fact that, for the most part, you do not see the person first, and instead get to know their personality. Because of this, you are falling in love with their personality, not their body, which most people believe to be the true concept of love.
Most people, it has been noted, have criticised online dating due to the fact that they are used to real-life relationships. Their grip on archaic practices cause them to close their eyes to the possibility of internet love, resulting in the above mentioned ridicule and hardships of those who are involved in internet relationships. It should also be noted that internet relationships are put under a lot of stress due to the distance, inability to make physical contact, and various other factors. Despite this, many people overcome such human instincts and eventually come to live together, get married, and live a full life as normally as any other type of relationship.
[edit] The true self
One of the aspects of internet friendship or relationship in general is that online relation gives an opportunity to reveal personal details of one's life that usually people would feel uncomfortable revealing in face-to-face conversations. People who believe in online relationships are more likely to believe in making online friendships because these relationships are important to their identity. Personality theorists found out that [2] forming relationship in newsgroup was a positive experience especially for socially anxious and lonely individuals who find it difficult expressing themselves in face-to-face situations.
[edit] Relationship stages
They are many theories that describe stages of relationships but I must advise that no relationship is the same but I will explain the stages using . Levinger’s Relationship Stage Theory or ABC’s Model has five stages; Acquaintance, Buildup, Continuation, Deterioration, and Ending (Levinger, 1983). The acquaintance stage is a simple awareness of the other person. Some individuals may never make it past this stage and may remain here indefinitely. It is during this superficial stage that impression formations occur through individuals receiving information about the other either directly or indirectly. When individuals transition from simply knowing one another to caring about one another they have entered the buildup stage. During the buildup stage, the partners explore one another and come to learn more about the other person. This could occur gradually and with little efforts expended on the part of the participants. It is in this stage that individuals bond and become interdependent; they ask questions of each other in order to gain information on whether the relationship is worth continuing and whether they want a more committed relationship with the other person. The continuation stage occurs once a decision has been made for the relationship to be strengthened. In this stage relationship uncertainty is reduced; the relationship gets deeper and becomes more stable. For romantic couples, this transition may be more public and more deliberate than in other relationship types. During this stage a formal, sometimes legal, announcement of the relationship is made (e.g. marriage, “best friend” ritual, or business partnership agreement). This stage can be considered the peak stage of a relationship as the following stages carry the relationship downhill; deterioration is when impairments develop in the relationship and the ending phase consists of the breakup or closure of the relationship. Maintenance occurs throughout all stages of a relationship and concludes once a relationship has been terminated. However, the level and types of maintenance behaviors enacted throughout a relationship and the relationship stages should vary. Oftentimes it is difficult to pinpoint when, why, or how a relationship has moved from one stage to another. However, as individuals progress through the stages of a relationship they must take the necessary steps to ensure it does not traverse into the deterioration or termination stage. Internet relationships proceed in much the same way. Some turn into real relationships and the computer mediated communications turns into real life relationships that must be nurtured the same way. I must add that Levinger stated that few relationships go through all the stages but the same can be said for CMC.
[edit] See also
[edit] References
Canary, D.J., Stafford, L. (1992), "Relational maintenance strategies and equity in marriage", Communication Monographs, Vol. 59 No.3, pp.243–67.
Dwyer, Diana (2000)Interpersonal Relationships (Routledge Modular Psychology)
Englehardt, E.E. (2001), Ethical Issues in Interpersonal Communication: Friends, Intimates, Sexuality, Marriage, and Family, Hartcourt College Publishers, Fort Worth, TX,
PEW Internet & American Life Project (2007), Internet Activities, available at: www.pewinternet.org/trends/Internet_Activities_1.11.07.htm/
Schnarch, D. (1997). Sex, intimacy, and the internet. Journal of Sex Education, 22(1), 15-20.
Walther & Burgoon. (1992). Relational communication in computer-mediated interaction. Human Communication Research, 19(1), 50-88
