John Gray (U.S. author)

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John Gray
Born (1951-12-28) December 28, 1951 (age 62)
Houston, Texas, U.S.
Nationality American
Education Lamar High School, University of St. Thomas, University of Texas, Maharishi International University, Columbia Pacific University
Alma mater Columbia Pacific University
Occupation Author
Known for Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
Spouse(s) Barbara De Angelis
(Divorced in 1984)
Bonnie Gray

John Gray (born December 28, 1951) is an American relationship counselor, lecturer and author. In 1969, he began a nine-year association with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi before beginning his career as an author and personal relationship counselor. In 1992 he published the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, which became a long term best seller and formed the central theme of all his subsequent books and career activities. His books have been bought by millions of people around the world while drawing criticism from academics for trivializing the dynamics of relationship psychology.[citation needed]

Early life and education[edit]

Gray was born in Houston, Texas, in 1951 to a father who was an oil executive and a mother who worked at a spiritual bookshop.[1][2] He graduated from Lamar High School and attended both the University of St. Thomas and the University of Texas.[citation needed]

He received a bachelors and masters degree in the Science of Creative Intelligence, though sources vary on whether these degrees were received from either the non-accredited Maharishi European Research University (MERU) in Switzerland or the fully accredited Maharishi International University in Fairfield, Iowa.[1][3][4][5]

Gray received an unaccredited PhD degree by correspondence in 1982 from Columbia Pacific University (CPU), a now-defunct university located in San Rafael, California upon completion of a correspondence course[4][6][7] and an honorary doctorate from Governors State University in Illinois after he delivered their commencement address in 2002.[4]


In 1969, Gray attended a Transcendental Meditation lecture, later becoming a celibate and personal assistant to Maharishi Mahesh Yogi for nine years.[1][6][8]

In 1992, Gray published his book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus which has sold more than seven million copies and according to a 1997 report by the book's publisher, HarperCollins, is the all time, best-selling hard-cover nonfiction book. The book became a "popular paradigm" for problems in relationships based on the different tendencies in each gender and led to infomercials, audiotapes and videotapes, a CD-ROM (the first from HarperReference), weekend seminars, theme vacations, a one-man Broadway show, an TV sitcom plus a movie contract with 20th Century Fox.[1][8][9] The book has been published in 40 languages and has earned Gray almost $18 million.[1][10] Gray was accused of borrowing from the work of author Deborah Tannen and he acknowledges some similarities but says, "I was teaching those ideas before I'd heard of her" and that he did not read her book.[11] Other critics have accused Gray of limiting human psychology to stereotypes.[6][12][13][14][15][16]

In 1997, Gray and Darren Stephens co-founded Mars Venus Institute. Darren Stephens was co-founder and CEO of the company.

In 1997, Gray began opening Mars & Venus Counseling Centers, where he trains therapists in his "Mars & Venus technique" in exchange for a one time, licensing fee and monthly "royalty payments". The president of the American Psychological Association, Dorothy Cantor, questions the ethics of creating a franchise for what is essentially a therapeutic process.[1]

In 2001, he received the Smart Marriages Impact Award.[17] That year, he wrote two books (How To Release Stress through Relaxation and 75 Ways To Say I Love You with Darren Stephens.[citation needed]

In 2002, author Julia T. Wood published a critical response to Gray's portrayals of men and women as he portrayed them in his book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.[18]

Gray writes a USA-syndicated column with 30 million readers that appears in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, New York Daily News, New York Newsday, The Denver Post, and the San Antonio Express-News. Internationally, Gray's columns have appeared in publications in England, Canada, Mexico, Korea, Latin American and the South Pacific.[16][third-party source needed]

Gray is a family therapist and a member of the American Counseling Association and the International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors.[4]

Gray has made numerous media appearances including Oprah and Larry King Live. Gray has been profiled in Newsweek, People and Forbes magazine.[16][17][third-party source needed]

He has written 17 books on relationships and personal growth.[2][19] His most recent book is Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice, an exploration of relationships and the role of food and nutrition in sustaining a healthy romantic partner.[citation needed]

Personal life[edit]

Gray married self-help author Barbara De Angelis and they divorced in 1984. Gray married his current wife, Bonnie, in 1986. Gray has a daughter and two stepdaughters.[1][2][6]

Books and other publications[edit]

  • Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
  • Mars and Venus on a Date
  • What You Feel You Can Heal
  • Men, Women and Relationships
  • Mars and Venus in Love
  • Mars and Venus Together Forever: A Practical Guide to Creating Lasting Intimacy
  • Mars and Venus in the Bedroom
  • Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Book of Days
  • Mars and Venus Starting Over
  • How To Get What You Want and Want What You Have
  • Children Are from Heaven
  • Practical Miracles for Mars and Venus: Nine Principles for Lasting Love, Increasing Success, and Vibrant Health in the Twenty-first Century
  • Mars and Venus in the Workplace
  • Truly Mars & Venus
  • The Mars & Venus Diet & Exercise Solution
  • Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress
  • Mars and Venus: 365 Ways to Keep Passion Alive
  • Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice – Hormonal Balance – The Key to Life, Love, and Energy
  • 75 Ways To Say I Love You (Co-Author Darren Stephens) ISBN 9780957974012
  • How To Release Stress Through Relaxation (Co-Author Darren Stephens) ISBN 9780957974005
  • Work with Me: The 8 Blind Spots Between Men and Women in Business (Co-Author Barbara Annis) ISBN 9780230341906

Further reading[edit]


  1. ^ a b c d e f g Time magazine Tower of Psychobabble, Elizabeth Gleick, June 16, 1997, Retrieved July 2011
  2. ^ a b c John Gray Official Web Site
  3. ^ Hampson, Sara (February 4, 2008). "Looking to God for Relationship Advice". The Globe and Mail. Retrieved April 4, 2013. 
  4. ^ a b c d WRITER'S EDUCATION FROM MARS|New York Post|November 13, 2003|page=012
  5. ^ Bridgman, Mary (October 14, 1996). "LOST IN SPACE AUTHOR ARGUES MEN, WOMEN STILL NO CLOSER THAN MARS, VENUS". Columbus Dispatch (Columbus, Ohio). p. 01.B. 
  6. ^ a b c d Hampton, Sarah (February 4, 2008). "Looking to God for relationship advice". The Globe and Mail. Retrieved September 30, 2008. 
  7. ^ Goldman, Abigail (September 12, 1994). "Mars, Venus... and Cupid Men and women seem to be from different planets. John Gray's message: Come back to Earth and deal with it.". LA Times. Retrieved September 30, 2008. 
  8. ^ a b The chronology of American literature: America's literary achievements , By Daniel S. Burt, page 696, New England Publishing Associates 2004,
  9. ^ NY Times, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus Retrieved July 2011
  10. ^ Hay House author bio Retrieved July 2011
  11. ^ Conversation with HarperCollins editor Nancy Peske, 1994
  12. ^ Murphy, Lauren (February 14, 2002). "Mars and Venus at work; Critics aim to bring Gray back down to Earth". Washington Times. Retrieved January 7, 2014. 
  13. ^ "Can't Understand Your Mate? It's Time To Align Your Planets". Palm Beach Post. November 1, 1998. Retrieved October 17, 2008. 
  14. ^ "John Gray Fires Back at Critic Who Questioned His Credentials". Inside Edition. November 20, 2003. 
  15. ^ "Writer's Education from Mars". New York Post. November 13, 2003. 
  16. ^ a b c Premier Speakers web site
  17. ^ a b AOL Coaches web site
  18. ^ Wood, Julia T. “A Critical Response to John Gray's Mars and Venus Portrayals of Men and Women.” Southern Communication Journal 67, no. 2 (2002): 201–10.
  19. ^ Quote Monk web site bio Retrieved July 2011

External links[edit]