Light Warriors (8-Bit Theater)

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The Light Warriors, riding blue Chocobos. From left to right: Red Mage, Thief, Black Mage and Fighter.

Collectively known as the Warriors of Light (or simply "the Light Warriors"), Black Mage, Fighter, Thief and Red Mage are the main characters of 8-Bit Theater. Their names and appearances are based on four classes from the first Final Fantasy game. Despite composing the "classic" heroic party, they are, for the most part, incompetent, dysfunctional, have few redeeming traits and tend to do more harm than good. As the author, Brian Clevinger, stated "I'm not sure why the Light Warriors worry about obstacles or monsters standing in their way. They are nothing compared to the obstacles and monsters within the party."^[1]

[edit] Black Mage Evilwizardington

Black Mage, before and after the Class Change

First appearance: Episode 001: We're going where?^[2]
Sprite: Black Mage (Final Fantasy I, NES); Class Change: Magus (Final Fantasy III, Famicom)

Black Mage is an evil wizard who is highly proficient in destructive magic. He bears a pathological hatred towards everyone on the planet^[3] and is so thoroughly evil that his conscience is split between his evil side and his atrociously evil side.^[4] Black Mage's face is always shadowed; according to him, it is so non-Euclidean that no one can look at it without going mad,^[5] demonstrated by driving a child insane. He has also been shown to be overweight^[6] and carry poor hygiene habits.^[7] His mastery of the arcane stems from the fact that he is actually the human incarnation of a nexus of magical power.^[8] His signature attack is a massive energy beam, the Hadoken. After the magical nexus was unbound during Black Mage's Class Change, he gained the ability to learn and use enemies' attacks; so far, all the attacks he has learned have been next to useless. Despite showing incompetence, foolishness, cowardice and immaturity, Black Mage has shown himself capable of occasionally going into detailed descriptions on certain subjects, as well as occasionally pointing out things that the other Light Warriors seem to neglect. To this end, he views himself as the only member of the party with any amount of intelligence, with the occasional exception of Thief. Black Mage has also teamed up with several enemies throughout their quests, such as the Cultists,^[9] Ur,^[10] Muffin,^[11] and the Dark Warriors.^[12]

Black Mage's two main goals have been to acquire more power and to find a way to kill his fellow Light Warriors, whom he despises, though he rarely actually uses magic against them. He reserves a special kind of loathing for Fighter, whom he views as the most idiotic person in existence and frequently tries to murder, but still keeps around as a meat shield for himself.^[13] Black Mage also has a lecherous fixation on his polar opposite, White Mage, and is continually trying to seduce her using increasingly lewd pick-up lines.^[14] As White Mage despises Black Mage for being so incredibly evil, this usually results in White Mage smashing Black Mage with her hammer.^[15] While Black Mage normally lusts after White Mage based on looks alone, he has shown a sensitive, compassionate side of his personality,^[16] which White Mage is attracted to. Despite White Mage's disgust for him, her oath as a white mage has convinced her to heal Black Mage from death or near death on multiple occasions.

[edit] Fighter McWarrior

Fighter, before and after the Class Change

First Appearance: Episode 001: We're going where?^[2]
Sprite: Warrior (Final Fantasy I, NES); Class Change: Knight (Final Fantasy III, Famicom)

Fighter is a warrior specializing in swords and master of The Twelve Schools of Vargus-do Zodiac-Style Swordplay (Zodiac Kenshido for short),^[17] capable of wielding more than two swords at once and, after his class change, blocking any attack with his swords. Fighter is extremely resilient towards physical damage in general and easily recovers, even from lethal injuries.^[18] Fighter is the creator of Sword-Chucks, a weapon consisting of two swords linked by a chain — a combination of twin swords and a nunchaku. At first, all of Fighter's companions deemed this to be a joke of a weapon as it is extremely dangerous to wielder and opponent alike, but this changed after Fighter successfully used Sword-Chucks to fight Kary, the Fiend of Fire, to a standstill.

Skilled as he is, he is also extremely naïve, childlike and has an almost single-minded sword fixation.^[19] He has a strong desire for heroism, which is his main reason for adventuring, and seems to be the only warrior interested in saving the world. He considers the Light Warriors archetypes of heroes, remaining ignorant towards their often cowardly and at times villainous actions. He's not only completely unaware of Black Mage's feelings of hate towards him, but also considers him his best friend in the world, despite Black Mage's frequent attempts to kill him. His innocence also endears him to many characters that dislike the other Light Warriors, such as White Mage and Sarda. Despite his ordinarily ignorant disposition he does show surprising bursts of intelligence on occasion and has, among other things, been shown to be a brilliant linguist.^[20][21] Unfortunately Fighter's wisdom normally goes ignored by the team, with exceptions.^[22]

[edit] Thief

Thief, before and after the Class Change

First Appearance: Episode 004: Fight heroes, fight!^[23]
Sprite: Thief (Final Fantasy I, NES); Class Change: Ninja (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified

Thief, born Prince Elf of Clan Khee'bler, the contractual leader of the Light Warriors, is a sneaky and cunning Elven thief and the Prince of Elfland. His main assets are his skills at thievery and his wits; Thief claims to be able to steal anything that isn't on fire,^[24][25] including intangible objects such as souls, secrets, and things that aren't there. In addition, he manipulates people with legal contracts and, in fact, became the group's leader by talking Fighter into signing such a contract.^[26] Before his class change, Thief rarely engaged in physical combat, preferring to hide and let the others do the work. After becoming a Ninja he gained the ability to throw any object, including his teammates, and tends to use kicks and punches in combat. His first act in the comic was accosting Black Mage in the Giant's Forest.^[23] He then followed Black Mage and Fighter to Corneria, where he applied for the job of Light Warrior with them.

Thief originally tried to conceal his Elven heritage from the Light Warriors,^[27] but was forced to reveal his true identity when an Elven court threatened the group with execution.^[28] It was subsequently revealed that Thief originally left his kingdom in secret in order to raise money for a cure for his dying father, though having no actual moral qualms about stealing he continued stealing even after his father was cured. Thief, much like the other Elves, is incredibly arrogant, and considers all non-Elven races, particularly Dwarves, to be below him. He regards the other Light Warriors as little more than his lackeys (and at times fair game).

[edit] Red Mage

Red Mage, before and after the Class Change

First Appearance: Episode 034: Introductions Are In Order^[29]
Sprite: Red Mage (Final Fantasy I, NES); Class Change: Red Mage (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified

Red Mage is the most knowledgable and versatile, yet also the most delusional, of the Light Warriors. He believes that he is in a stat sheet RPG (such as D&D) and acts accordingly and fully within the rules of such a reality through powergaming. He carries a character sheet listing his personal statistics and abilities, which he is able to erase and rearrange at a moment's notice. The altered statistics affect his abilities accordingly. In fact, he has managed to survive injuries that should have killed him by "forgetting" to write down the damage he suffered. Further, he values — to the point of obsession — being as versatile as possible, citing versatility as the reason for being a Red Mage in the first place and prides himself on such traits.^[30] Red Mage possesses fighting skills, as well as the ability to cast both White and Black Magic. He prefers to cast Ice Spells, as far as black magic goes. After his class change he gained the ability to mimic his teammates' actions. Red Mage also claims to be the last surviving member of an ancient order of Red Mages.

Red Mage is the main "strategist" of the group. His plans, however, are more often than not overcomplicated and bizarre. While in accordance with logic on a certain level, his plans frequently include obvious flaws, such as his plan to construct a "cold fusion" reactor entirely from ice.^[31] Most of the time Red Mage's plans fail horribly, due to the laws of physics and the actions of other people getting in the way. However, his stratagems have proven surprisingly successful a number of times, most notably in the Light Warriors' battles against the first three Fiends. Effective or otherwise, Red Mage tends to be overconfident about his plans, believing them to be foolproof.

Red Mage has also occasionally shown himself to be a closet transvestite, naming himself Debora when he's in a dress, a psychological complex that Red Mage believed stemmed from his father disliking Red Mage for being a boy. In reality, this complex was a figment of Red Mage's imagination, induced by the manipulative prowess of Thief.^[32]

On the message boards, Brian Clevinger has indicated that, based on the other Light Warriors' last names, Red Mage's last name would be "Statscowski".^[33]

[edit] References

[edit] See also

• 8-Bit Theater
• Characters of 8-Bit Theater