List of Conan sketches
Not to be confused with List of Late Night with Conan O'Brien sketches or List of The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien sketches
The following is a list of recurring sketches and characters which debuted on Conan on TBS. Conan is a talk/variety show starring Conan O'Brien and sidekick Andy Richter. Writers Deon Cole, Brian Stack, Andres du Bouchet, Dan Cronin, and members of The Basic Cable Band (especially Richie "LaBamba" Rosenberg) often appear in sketches as well. Some sketches feature celebrity cameos.
- 1 Weekly sketches
- 2 Characters
- 3 Recurring segments
- 3.1 Alex Trebek Has Gone Insane
- 3.2 Andy's news stories
- 3.3 Angry Birds
- 3.4 Andy Richter's Sports Blast
- 3.5 Andy Richter does Newt Gingrich
- 3.6 Audience Craigslist ads
- 3.7 Bill Tull's Budget Holiday Tips
- 3.8 Basic Cable Name That Tune
- 3.9 Ben Affleck is a Good Batman
- 3.10 Breaking News
- 3.11 Citizenship test
- 3.12 Clueless Gamer
- 3.13 Coffee Table Books That Didn't Sell
- 3.14 Comedy for DVRs
- 3.15 Conan blimp
- 3.16 Conan's Peanut Players
- 3.17 Conan's Video Blog
- 3.18 Conan.xxx
- 3.19 Deon Cole Breaks Down the News
- 3.20 Facebook photos
- 3.21 If They Melded
- 3.22 Local News Round-Up
- 3.23 Movie Casting
- 3.24 New TBS shows
- 3.25 Next on Conan
- 3.26 Ridiculous NBA Press Conference Fashion
- 3.27 Opening credits
- 3.28 Oscar moments
- 3.29 Oscar Winner F-Bomb Hall of Fame
- 3.30 Lousy Campaign Slogans
- 3.31 Puppy Conan
- 3.32 Racial Perspective
- 3.33 Staffers' Kids Say the Darndest Things
- 3.34 TBS Shelf of Excellence
- 3.35 Tyler Perry's Row 11
- 3.36 Why China Is Kicking Our Ass
- 3.37 Why Would You Tweet That?
- 4 Celebrity cameos
- 5 Returning sketches
- 6 Running gags
- 7 References
Once a week on the show (usually Mondays), Conan shows videos from viewers who believe they've caught a mistake made on the show. However, Conan will claim they don't make mistakes, and so far, they've had "1000s of challenger's but no winners". Conan will then make up a ridiculous story to explain the error and back it up with fake or doctored footage, or fake experts played by the show's writers, all while berating the accuser. When the sketch is over he challenges viewers to "see if they have what it takes to make chump meat out of the maestro". Conan's beard was questioned; but it was revealed that he "glued" on a beard made of shredded paper for 6 months. Celebrities have also appeared in the segment, including Harry Shearer, Jack Black, Slash, George Takei and Buzz Aldrin.
The Flaming C
Conan and Bruce Timm created The Flaming C, a character based on Conan's appearance and jokingly referred to it as DC Comics' next superhero. The character has a comical appearance due to wearing things not associated with superheroes, such as a steaming ovenmit, a jai alai glove, ski goggles, a Star of David patch, socks with garters, fishnet stockings and loafers. Faux videos have been made where the character appears on the show Young Justice. Conan also played a faux trailer for an animated feature film about the character. The character also had a dedicated segment at the 2011 San Diego Comic-Con International. Conan later brought in a lifesize Lego statue of the character made by a viewer. On Conan's Clueless Gamer segment, he played as the Flaming C in Injustice: Gods Among Us.
A man (Eddie Pepitone) stands up and angrily yells at Conan in response to jokes in the monologue. He always dies of a heart attack at the end of the skit.
January Jones is a character designed specifically for the month of January, played by Deon Cole. He is a stereotypical black pimp, decked out in a white suit, a diamond-studded "J.J." necklace, and a glass of wine. Each appearance by Jones elicits the response from Conan or Andy that there already is an actress named January Jones (most known for her role on the AMC series Mad Men).
Basketball Mascots That Should Never Dunk
Conan mentions his favorite part of basketball is the dunking mascots at halftime. He then introduces us to some weird mascots who should never compete in a slam dunk contest. As he lists them, a guy dressed as that mascot attempts to dunk the ball, usually resulting in failure. Some of these mascots include: The Solar System, Cop at a urinal, Congressman Anthony Weiner's underpants, and the Human Starfish. As of November 17, 2011, only 3 mascots have completed this feat successfully.
Minty, the Candy Cane That Briefly Fell on the Ground
Timed for the Christmas season, Minty is a giant candy cane (originally played by Brian McCann, and replaced by Deon Cole after McCann left the show; the lyrics to his theme song changed after Cole replaced McCann.) who walks through the crowd throwing mini candy canes to the audience members as a 1940s crooner-style jingle plays in the background. According to the jingle, he fell on the ground for "just a moment or two", which was enough for him to be covered in "excrement". Actually, his costume is covered in the typical kind of garbage that might be found on a dirty floor, such as dead bugs, hair, a penny and a cigarette butt. One loyal fan created a video game based on the character, which was posted to the show's website.
TBS founder Ted Turner, played by Will Forte, appears on a stuffed buffalo named Teddy Jr. to harshly criticize Conan and his audience and claiming the show will ruin the reputation of TBS. Conan eventually brought out his own buffalo and challenged Turner to a duel but the buffaloes instead began mating, with Teddy Jr. being the "receiver".
Alex Trebek Has Gone Insane
Conan shows clips of Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek reading nonsensical clues of which contestants cannot answer, all the while questioning the long-time host's mental state. The clips are actually spliced from several different clues to form one bizarre giant clue.
Andy's news stories
On Thursdays, Andy previews some fake news stories he's working on for the next week complete with fake previews or stock footage, all of which are ridiculous.
To appease Finnish Internet viewers who can't get his show on TV, Conan and Andy play a live action version of the Finnish game Angry Birds, with the opponents being Ikea furniture (made in Sweden, Finland's rival). Later the targets were changed to a boombox playing Kim Kardashian's song "Jam (Turn It Up)", and the cast of Jersey Shore. Often, Conan is unable to destroy the items by catapulting the birds, so he and Andy resort to walking over and smashing them with baseball bats.
Andy Richter's Sports Blast
Andy hosts what seems like a traditional sports show, but instead gives off the impression that he has no clue about sports and is very ill prepared. Examples of this would be when he goes over the week's NFL games and picks the winners based on a real life matchup, (Redskins vs. Cowboys, he picks the Cowboys because he's seen enough western movies to know how it turns out.) and the Clip of the Week in which he shows a clip that has nothing to do with sports. He also takes questions from viewers who criticize his ignorance, and answers them with only "Good question, [viewer's name]." Richter is also very repetitive in this sketch, for example. "Welcome to Andy Richter's Sports Blast. I'm Andy Richter, and this is Sports Blast!"
Andy Richter does Newt Gingrich
Conan picks Andy to be the show's Newt Gingrich impersonator. Andy claims he doesn't do impressions, but after some practice he begins to sound exactly like Gingrich (his "impressions" are simply lip synching while actual audio clips of Gingrich speaking are played). Later sketches featured Andy imitating still shots of Gingrich, with Conan as Gingrich's wife Calista.
Audience Craigslist ads
Conan shows audience members along with bizarre (fake) craiglist ads they have posted, in the categories man seeking woman/woman seeking man/missed connections, job offers/seeking work and for sale/wanted to buy. The ads are usually embarrassing or perverted.
Bill Tull's Budget Holiday Tips
Propmaster Bill Tull gives examples of how to make holiday decorations and gifts out of things found around the house. Tips are always the form of "Take a..., add a..., BOOM!..." Example: "Take a piece of red tape, tape it to a pine cone; BOOM!, Christmas ornament." Between tips, Conan often makes faces of displeasure that more tips are coming, before indicating that another will come.
Basic Cable Name That Tune
Conan plays Name That Tune with the audience, except the songs have alternate lyrics to avoid having to pay licensing fees. Typically, the last note of the song is also altered for the same reason, and sung by creepy homeless lounge singer Bobby LaFontaine (played by Brian Stack). In the sketch, Conan frequently expresses his contempt for LaFontaine, who also has severe self-hatred.
Ben Affleck is a Good Batman
Conan mentions how Batman fans are angry about the selection of Ben Affleck to be the new Bruce Wayne/Batman in the upcoming movie Batman vs. Superman, but he claims Affleck will make an excellent Batman. He then shows clips from the film, which are actually from old Affleck movies, with a Batman mask inserted onto his face.
Conan shows clips of dozens of local news anchors reading the same headline, usually a mundane story such as "Is this the end of the Twinkie?" (in regards to the bankruptcy of Hostess Brands) or "Is it time for a social networking site for dogs?" (about the new website matchpuppy.com).
Conan states he believes all Americans should pass the U.S. citizenship test before they are allowed to vote, then takes the test himself. His version consists of serious American history questions like the actual test (which Conan answers thoroughly and correctly), but contains mostly popular culture and sexual questions. One example of this is:
Andy: "When is it not appropriate to say the phrase "That's what she said."? Conan: "Never." Andy: "Conan, I'm surprised you're answering these correctly. They're really hard!" Conan: "Heh-heh! That's what she said."
Conan, with little to no gaming experience or interest, tries out new video game releases while bantering back and forth with content producer and avid gamer Aaron Bleyaert. Most of the segments have been with new games on current systems, but one segment had them playing Atari 2600 games.
Coffee Table Books That Didn't Sell
Conan reviews coffee table books that didn't sell, such as "Movie Stars With Their Eyes Pushed Closer Together" or "Dirty Crop Circles" (the back of which was so dirty it had to be censored).
Comedy for DVRs
Conan explains how a lot of his viewers record his show with their DVR, and does a skit which requires viewers to pause and un-pause their DVRs rapidly to watch it properly: a long list of text which scrolls by in a few seconds. So far the list titles have been "New Game of Thrones Characters", and "Nicolas Cage's Next 400 Films".
Conan has repeatedly commented that he is the only talk show host with his own blimp, and has gotten his big orange blimp to do trivial things, such as film a bike race and stalk actor Gary Busey. The blimp later reappeared on TBS to promote the 2011 Major League Baseball playoffs, with Conan sending a random audience member to take a ride on the blimp in St. Louis during the NLCS.
Conan's Peanut Players
Conan mentions a recent celebrity or other unusual newsworthy incident, but says there's no actual footage of it. Instead, he shows a reenactment of it using shelled peanuts and toys.
Conan's Video Blog
Conan announces he is going to share his thoughts via a blog to appeal to his broadening online following and gain teenage viewers. The screen then cuts to a simulation of a webcam with Conan in front of a wall in what looks like a typical teenager's room. Conan puts a webcam near his face and speaks in a nervous, monotonous voice. Much of the segment is devoted to Conan saying things that are stereotypically said in teenagers' YouTube videos, such as reviews of movies and TV shows, strange snack ideas he invented and funny photo-shopped pictures he created. All of his segments are introduced using a computer generated voice. Andy sometimes joins Conan as well.
Conan announces the show has purchased a .xxx Internet domain name (which are usually reserved for pornographic websites), and shows videos from it that imitate amateur porn sites, such as Andy Richter in "1 Man, 2 Bowls" in which he eats 2 bowls of soup at once, a female writer in "1 Woman, 20 Pencils," in which she sharpens 20 pencils in 1 sitting, and "Do a Crossword Puzzle with my Wife" in which a white man watches Deon Cole do a crossword puzzle with his wife (Deon brought his own gigantic pencil).
Deon Cole Breaks Down the News
Conan tells about a controversial topic in the news while Deon Cole rolls by on a small desk asking questions about it to quell the controversy, and ends with "Well then they should shut the fuck up!".
If They Melded
In an updated version of the classic Late Night sketch If They Mated, two videos of celebrities are merged, usually the face of one onto another while the second talks (i.e. Nicki Minaj's face and voice on President Obama's head and torso).
Local News Round-Up
Conan explains that since the show airs during local newscasts, they decided to make one of their own, with stories and items stereotypically found in them (a fire on the bad part of town, a city council meeting, a short weather forecast, the local sports team won, and a lighthearted animal video at the end). Other sketches have featured Ritcher as an investigative reporter or as a weatherman (reporting on a flurry of snow on LaBamba).
Conan mentions that a certain actor has been given a certain movie role in a superhero or fantasy movie sequel, an audience member dressed in the character's costume asks if he's sure. When Conan assures them that the part has been cast, the costumed-audience member leaves disappointed. So far, the roles included Gandalf and an African American Bilbo Baggins (The Hobbit), Superman (Man of Steel) and a man dressed as Catwoman (The Dark Knight Rises).
New TBS shows
Conan explains TBS asked his staff to help develop new TBS shows, and runs of a clip from one. They are often simply parodies of other current shows.
Next on Conan
Ridiculous NBA Press Conference Fashion
Conan will show real videos of NBA press conferences with players wearing strange outfits, then modified ones with real players, or fake ones of the show's writers wearing even more bizarre clothes, usually items not typically worn as clothing, such as a chicken suit or an old woman's dress.
A running gag, usually on Thursdays, is deviating slightly from the opening involving a family driving home from the city to their home to watch TV. The gags have included the car being catapulted, the family being abducted by aliens, the city being destroyed by a giant monster, the car being a clown car that includes many other people in addition to the family, the car going through a car wash, and the family driving to an Opening Day baseball game instead of home.
Conan, Andy and Pierre (poorly) reenact scenes from films nominated for Best Picture at the 83rd Academy Awards. They performed clips from 127 Hours, Black Swan, The Social Network, and Inception. In 2012 movies that were featured were The Artist, War Horse and The Help.
In another set of skits, Conan mentioned that War Horse was nominated for Best Original Score, but he claimed the music doesn't make any sense. He then showed a dramatic scene from it, with the music replaced by an upbeat disco song.
Oscar Winner F-Bomb Hall of Fame
This list includes all Academy Awards winners who have appeared on the show and say the word "Fuck" during the interview. After the celebrity is inducted, Andy Richter reveals a bust statue that does not resemble the celebrity at all. So far there are two members of this Hall of Fame:
A potential third member, Natalie Portman (who was at the time in the running for an Oscar at the 83rd Academy Awards), did say the word "fuck" during her interview. Conan stated during her interview that he would add her to the hall if she won later (which she now has), but it has not happened yet.
Lousy Campaign Slogans
Conan will show sayings from speeches by President Obama and challenger Mitt Romney taken out of context, which are pessimistic, such as Romney's "Guess who's gonna pay that? Not me, I'm gone" or Obama's "It's every American for themselves"; or have nothing to do with politics, such as Romney saying "It's raining outside." or President Obama saying "Anybody got $1,000 right now?"
As a parody of Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl, Conan brings in a group of Labrador Retriever puppies dressed as himself, Andy, LaBamba and celebrity guests such as Flava Flav and Lady Gaga, all within a miniature replica of the show's main set. Conan promised he would do an entire show with a miniature set with extremely tall guests like Shaquille O'Neal, which he fulfilled a few weeks later.
After Conan mentions a story about something in the news that's controversial because of suspected racism, writer Deon Cole appears and gives a brief commentary, which is usually only a few words. For example, a class action lawsuit by animal rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals against Sea World which alleges the theme park treats its whales like African slaves in the United States prior to the American Civil War, to which Cole's comment was "Are you shitting me?!" Deon will often have one of the show's white writers read his commentary instead, to avoid reinforcing the "angry black man" stereotype.
Staffers' Kids Say the Darndest Things
Conan records his staffers' kids talking about what their parents tell them about working for Conan. All of the comments are negative, and talk about how Conan abuses them.
TBS Shelf of Excellence
In a parody of Turner Classic Movies' intros, Conan adds a cheesy comedy film that has aired on TBS to the "TBS Shelf of Excellence".
Tyler Perry's Row 11
A parody of Tyler Perry's House of Payne. Conan says that director Tyler Perry has a lot of power on TBS, and even has a show-within-a-show called Tyler Perry's Row 11. The sketch features an African-American family who resides on Row 11 of Conan's studio and bickers constantly but always comes together at the end. Perry made a cameo on one episode when he was Conan's guest, and solved the family's financial problems by buying their above ground swimming pool for a million dollars.
A variation of this was Tyler Perry's House of Kennedy, featuring an African-American version of the Kennedys who speak with Boston accents and enjoy clam chowder. This was done as a parody of the controversial miniseries.
Why China Is Kicking Our Ass
Conan points out reasons for why "China is kicking our ass" such as better educated students and lower rates of unemployment. Ironically, the Chinese text that appears on screen reads 瓷为什么踢我们的屁股 (Why Porcelain Is Kicking Our Ass) instead of 为什么中国在踢我们的屁股. The mistake was noticed by several viewers who spoke Chinese during a recent "Fan Corrections" segment, with Conan claiming they were all wrong, and showed a speech of Mao Se Tung after the Chinese Civil War (with mistranslated subtitles), declaring China's new name as the "People's Republic of Porcelain."
- Drew Beaumier auditions for American Idol as a Transformers robot.
- Gary Busey Vs. Meat Loaf on Celebrity Apprentice.
- Sam B's performance on America's Got Talent.
- A video of a guy who strapped a leaf blower to himself and spins around on an office chair.
Why Would You Tweet That?
Conan reads some funny (fake) celebrity tweets that make fun of the celebrities.
Sometimes on the show, celebrities make brief surprise cameos in skits.
Chris Parnell explains a joke
Conan mentions that the number of biracial babies is on the rise in the United States. Conan then brings out Deon Cole to comment, and all he said was "You're welcome America." Conan then said he didn't understand the joke. Chris Parnell then appeared and explained that Deon is so irresistible to fertile young women and his sperm is so potent, he's fathered thousands of biracial children.
He later returned to explain how Deon is able to take undistorted pictures of his enormous penis with the iPhone 5's panoramic camera. He also explained that Deon's claim reinforces the stereotype that all black men have larger than average sized penises.
Jon Cryer is a troll
In response to Two and a Half Men co-star Charlie Sheen's comment that he was a troll, Cryer appeared in a cameo and confessed that he was indeed born a troll doll, and that other celebrities such as Helen Mirren were also once trolls.
Larry King's new show
Conan announced that Larry King is hosting a new show in the rafters of his own studio. King appeared in a cameo and began taking calls from viewers, similar to the format of Larry King Live. Andy Richter was always the show's celebrity guest.
Theme song lyrics
Conan mentions his theme song now has lyrics and "Weird Al" Yankovic appeared and performed it. The first half was normal, describing the show in general, but then turned dark, describing the time Yankovic and Conan went camping and Conan killed someone and swore Al to secrecy (which he had just broke by announcing it on national television, and feared Conan would kill him too).
Nick Offerman from Parks and Recreation Reads Tweets from Young Female Celebrities
Nick Offerman reads actual tweets from young (18–30 years old) female celebrities, such as Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez and Miranda Cosgrove, in between woodworking tasks. They are often short and nonsensical, but read in a serious manner.
Super Dave's lawsuit
Super Dave Osborne appeared and explained he sued a plastic surgeon for a botched lip enhancement procedure. He explained the judge would award him $10,000,000 if he would go on a talk show, tell three dirty jokes, and prove the people weren't laughing at them, but at his ridiculous lips. After doing so, Conan claims he won the case.
Conan and a fan meet Simon Baker
Conan mentions The Mentalist is shot on the same lot as his show, and offers a fan of it accompany him to meet its star Simon Baker. After finding him reading a magazine behind the show's studio, Baker ran off as fast as he could.
Jersey Shore Audition Tapes
Conan mentioned Jersey Shore is looking for new male cast members. He then showed audition tapes featuring Jack McBrayer, DJ Qualls, Jesse Eisenberg, and John Lithgow. Actual Jersey Shore cast member Mike Sorrentino also briefly appeared, however the casting director quickly yelled "NEXT!"
Mike Merritt's Inner Thoughts
As Conan responds to a news article about race and civil rights, the camera cuts to bassist Mike Merritt making comments, via voice over, about how Conan knows nothing about African Americans and cracks a joke about Conan's race.
The skit was later changed when Conan came out in support of gay marriage, with the thoughts coming from three of the show's gay staffers. They were able to communicate with each other telepathically, and claimed all gay people have the ability to do so but don't tell straight people about it.
TV Movie Casting
A fictitious new made-for-TV movie is announced, based on a real-life event Conan has mentioned. Conan then says he has the inside scoop on the movie's casting. Viewers are shown two photos side-by-side of a person or thing who will be portrayed in the movie and the person that will be playing the role. The casting first starts off with people who strikingly resemble the person they are playing but then goes off to extremes with, usually, objects or fictitious characters bearing some resemblance to the person they are playing. The humor is in how similar the two photos are despite how vastly different the two people/things pictured are or vice versa, with Conan often commenting on how great the casting is.
The Audiencey Awards
Conan awards members of the studio audience for various talents. Typically this will always include "best celebrity impression" to highlight lookalikes (as in movie casting), and then a variety of other awards which are achieved with props and superimposed images. For example, the winner of "Best Foreign Language Audience Member" was shown with a large superimposed mustache and sombrero, and the "Audience Member Who Smells the Most Like Fresh Salmon" was attacked by a man in a bear costume. Awards show intermission segments (a fashion critic, red carpet interviews, how the award is built, etc.) are also parodied.
Someone is thrown off the studio's roof by security
Conan has demonstrated zero tolerance for obnoxious audience members, Andy's antics, and even a mascot for Anthony Weiner's penis. There have been five or more instances where Conan has motioned for security to take away an offending character. They drag the person to the top of the studio's roof and launch them off the roof onto the hard concrete lot below. During the show's visit to Atlanta in April 2013, a mannequin of Union Army General William Tecumseh Sherman (the victor of the Battle of Atlanta) was thrown off the roof of TBS' headquarters. When he didn't die, they deep fried his head in waffle batter and shot him from a giant cannon.
Conan conducts a satellite interview with a celebrity, in reality a member of the show's staff whose mouth is superimposed over the celebrity's photo (a technique known as Synchro-Vox best known for its use in the cartoon series Clutch Cargo). Celebrities impersonated on Conan include Donald Trump and Arnold Schwarzenegger, who promotes his "smash hit holiday classic" Jingle All the Way as he had frequently done on Late Night.
In this sketch, Conan has supposedly sent out questionnaires to celebrities and he reads their replies. Conan reads a question and then recites the answer that each of three celebrities gave. The answers of the first two celebrities are ordinary "straight" answers. The third is the gag answer and often relates to something unseemly about the celebrity. For example, to the question: "I like to think of my viewers as people who..." Brian Williams wrote "want to be informed." Meredith Vieira wrote "want to be my friend." Tony Danza wrote "have broken both arms and can't change the channel;" A running joke has the survey frequently including a question which is answered by O.J. Simpson somehow referring to committing murder. To the question: "My favorite time of day is..." Evangeline Lilly wrote: "Dawn." Matt Lauer wrote "Twilight". O. J. Simpson wrote: "Murder O'Clock." A reply where Paris Hilton is the final respondent to a question has been used in every segment for at least the last four years, usually about her promiscuous dating habits. O'Brien and bandleader Max Weinberg have been used as well, with answers that perceive O'Brien as a loser and Max as a pervert. Another running gag has Larry King, Chris Christie and Barack Obama answering, usually poking fun at King's age, Christie's weight and Obama repeatedly mentioning that he ordered the killing of Osama bin Laden. Lindsay Lohan and her drunken car crashes and Steven Tyler's similarity to a middle aged woman have also been portrayed in the sketch repeatedly.
- Contrary to reality, Conan often mentions TBS doesn't have the money for expensive writers, sets, props, skits, licensing fees, etc., equating it with a low-budget local public access cable channel.
- When a website address is displayed, instead of showing a "/", a picture of guitarist Slash is shown.
- Whenever Conan makes an Anti-American remark (such as its obesity problem, recession, obsession with celebrities, reality shows, social networking, etc.), he'll make the crowd do the "USA chant".
- If a man sitting in the front row wears a hat, Conan will try it on after being introduced at the beginning of the show.
- Watch "Conan: The Flaming C" [Young Justice New York Magazine
- Conan O'Brien's The Flaming C Meets Superboy Comics Alliance February 11, 2011
- Minty The Candy Cane - THE GAME Team Coco December 22, 2010
- Conan Berated By Will Forte As Ted Turner The Huffington Post November 11, 2011
- Oscar Winner F Bomb Hall of Fame Team Coco January 1, 2011
- Tyler Perry's Row 11 Team Coco December 6, 2010