M*A*S*H (season 10)

Season 10: 1981–1982

#	Title	Director	Writer	Original airdate	Production Code
1	"That's Show Biz"	Charles S. Dubin	Elias Davis, David Pollack	October 26, 1981 (1981-10-26)	Z419 (1), Z420 (2)
A touring USO show brings an unexpected touch of vaudeville to the 4077th when one of the performers (Gail Edwards) requires an emergency appendectomy. The performer falls for Hawkeye, while one of her co-stars (Gwen Verdon) is a burlesque dancer that Colonel Potter saw in his younger day. Klinger attempts to emulate the comedian emcee, and a singer attempts to recover a keepsake of her late brother. This was the fifth and final 60-minute episode of M*A*S*H.
2	"Identity Crisis"	David Ogden Stiers	Dan Wilcox, Thad Mumford	November 2, 1981 (1981-11-02)	Z423
A corporal who swapped dog tags with a dead buddy to get out of combat has an attack of conscience courtesy of Father Mulcahy, while another G.I. receives a "Dear John" letter. B.J. and Charles team up to stop a loudmouth soldier who is trying to get the camp to put money in his investment company's mutual funds.
3	"Rumor at the Top"	Charles S. Dubin	David Pollack, Elias Davis	November 9, 1981 (1981-11-09)	Z424
A General's aide appears at the camp asking a lot of questions, and it is discovered that he is recruiting for a new M*A*S*H unit. Everyone overreacts to the threat of being separated, so they scheme to stay together or, like Charles, use this as an opportunity to get another posting.
4	"Give 'Em Hell, Hawkeye"	Charles S. Dubin	Dennis Koenig	November 16, 1981 (1981-11-16)	1G01
Hawkeye writes a letter of complaint to President Truman, talking about the ridiculous bureaucracy and capricious officers he must apply to in order to obtain supplies and begging him to end the war already. The third and last episode to include Movietone newsreel footage. 1st anniversary of 1951 Panmunjom Truce talks
5	"Wheelers and Dealers"	Charles S. Dubin	Dan Wilcox, Thad Mumford	November 23, 1981 (1981-11-23)	1G02
B.J. is despondent when he finds out that his wife has taken a job back home to help make ends meet, while Colonel Potter is required by regulations to take a remedial driving course, (much to the chagrin and fear of his driving instructor, Sgt. Luther Rizzo).
6	"Communication Breakdown"	Alan Alda	Karen Hall	November 30, 1981 (1981-11-30)	1G03
During a second class mail stoppage, Charles receives a week's worth of Boston Globe newspapers from home but will only dispense them once he has read through them completely. He angers the camp further when he discovers one of his papers to be missing, assumes it to be stolen, and refuses to hand over the others until it is returned - leading to squabbling. Meanwhile, a South Korean soldier recognizes a wounded North Korean POW is his brother.
7	"Snap Judgment [Part I]"	Hy Averback	Paul Perlove	December 7, 1981 (1981-12-07)	1G04
A crime wave has broken out throughout the 4077th and the surrounding area, including a new Polaroid camera stolen from Hawkeye. Klinger tries to get to the bottom of the matter, and buys the camera back on the black market to give back to Hawkeye. Unfortunately, he is arrested by the MPs when caught in possession of the camera, leading him to be the prime suspect in the ring of thefts.
8	"Snappier Judgment [Part II]"	Hy Averback	Paul Perlove	December 14, 1981 (1981-12-14)	1G05
Klinger is brought before a court-martial for the theft of Hawkeye's camera and other thefts around the camp, with Charles as his incompetent defense counsel.
9	"'Twas the Day After Christmas"	Burt Metcalfe	David Pollack, Elias Davis	December 28, 1981 (1981-12-28)	1G06
On December 26, Colonel Potter decides to enact the Boxing Day tradition of the British army, with enlisted personnel and officers trading duties for the day. Potter is the acting company clerk, Klinger the acting C.O., Hawkeye and Mulcahy are orderlies, B.J. and Hot Lips are on K.P. duty and Charles is put under the cook's command.
10	"Follies of the Living - Concerns of the Dead"	Alan Alda	Alan Alda	January 4, 1982 (1982-01-04)	1G07
The ghost of a recently dead soldier wanders the 4077th refusing to believe he is dead. Only Klinger, delirious with a high fever, can see him.
11	"The Birthday Girls"	Charles S. Dubin	Karen Hall	January 11, 1982 (1982-01-11)	1G08
While on her way to Tokyo to celebrate her birthday, Margaret becomes stranded with Klinger when their jeep breaks down. Charles delivers an important lecture she was supposed to give on a new drug. Before leaving with Houlihan, Klinger attempts to gain everybody's participation (and money) in a betting pool involving a pregnant cow belonging to a local farmer.
12	"Blood and Guts"	Charles S. Dubin	Lee H. Grant	January 18, 1982 (1982-01-18)	1G09
In response to a blood drive back home, several pints arrive in the company of a famous reporter with a remarkably jingoistic attitude, who, much to Hawkeye's outrage, insists on falsifying reports and depicting reckless behavior as heroism.
13	"A Holy Mess"	Burt Metcalfe	Elias Davis, David Pollack	February 1, 1982 (1982-02-01)	1G10
An AWOL soldier, deeply depressed over his wife's infidelity and illegitimate child with another man, requests sanctuary in the mess tent during one of Father Mulcahy's services when the soldier's superior tries to apprehend him, leading to a standoff and potentially ruining plans for a special eggs brunch.
14	"The Tooth Shall Set You Free"	Charles S. Dubin	Elias Davis, David Pollack	February 8, 1982 (1982-02-08)	1G11
Charles is being insufferable about his refusal to seek dental care for a toothache due to his fear of dentists. Hawkeye and B.J scheme to save black soldiers from their racist commanding officer, who assigns them disproportionally to high-risk duty to get rid of them. Laurence Fishburne has a major supporting role as a soldier endangered by the racist officer.
15	"Pressure Points"	Charles S. Dubin	David Pollack	February 15, 1982 (1982-02-15)	1G12
After an operation goes awry, Colonel Potter fears he is at fault and losing his touch, driving him to an outburst while hearing a lecture on new medical procedures to counter new weapons. Potter seeks advice from Sidney Freedman, while Charles, B.J. and Hawkeye continually quarrel about each others' sloppiness.
16	"Where There's a Will, There's a War"	Alan Alda	Elias Davis, David Pollack	February 22, 1982 (1982-02-22)	1G13
Pinned down under heavy fire during a visit to an aid station at the front, Hawkeye writes his will, leaving heavily symbolic mementos to his friends.
17	"Promotion Commotion"	Charles S. Dubin	Dennis Koenig	March 1, 1982 (1982-03-01)	1G14
The enlisted personnel at the 4077th are excited because it is time for a promotion board to convene, and everybody is trying to get promoted. A blatantly unqualified soldier named Elmo Hitalski (John Matuszak) physically threatens Charles trying to get promoted, Klinger becomes a Sergeant, and notable enlisted personnel fail to receive promotions. Meanwhile, Hitalski, who busted up the officer's club and almost made good on his threat to beat up Winchester, falls prey to a scam in which he was "promoted" and "transferred" but was later arrested for being AWOL and carrying forged travel papers. This act ended Hitalski's career in the army.
18	"Heroes"	Nell Cox	Thad Mumford, Dan Wilcox	March 15, 1982 (1982-03-15)	1G15
A famous boxer arrives at the 4077th on a publicity tour, only to have a fatal stroke at the camp. Hawkeye deals with the ensuing publicity, while Father Mulcahy has to deal with seeing his childhood hero fade away. Meanwhile, B.J. experiments with defibrillation, a then-unknown procedure.
19	"Sons and Bowlers"	Hy Averback	Elias Davis, David Pollack	March 22, 1982 (1982-03-22)	1G16
Anxious to beat the Marines at something, Potter arranges a bowling match, but refuses to include Houlihan. Hawkeye waits for news when he discovers that his father is undergoing an operation back in Maine. In an unusual twist, Charles acts as Hawkeye's moral support.
20	"Picture This"	Burt Metcalfe	Karen Hall	April 5, 1982 (1982-04-05)	1G17
Colonel Potter wants to paint a group portrait of the senior staff of the 4077th for his wife back home, but he has to work around a series of arguments between the doctors.
21	"That Darn Kid"	David Ogden Stiers	Karen Hall	April 12, 1982 (1982-04-12)	1G19
Klinger buys a goat in hope of selling goat's milk. Hawkeye serves as paymaster, but thanks to Klinger, who left the goat in the office during O.R., the entire payroll gets eaten. Hawkeye is in debt to the army for over $22,000 unless he can prove that the goat ate the money. Meanwhile, Charles, in need of cash, borrows $50 from Sgt. Rizzo - while being charged 100% daily interest in the process.