Longbox Option Package

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Longbox Option Package
Box set by Longmont Potion Castle
Released 2006
Recorded 1987–2006
Genre Comedy
Prank phone call
Length 474:59
Label DU Records
Producer Longmont Potion Castle
Longmont Potion Castle chronology
Volume 5
(2005)
Longbox Option Package
(2006)
Volume 6
(2008)

Longbox Option Package is the name of a 2006 retrospective box set by the surreal prank call artist known only as Longmont Potion Castle. It was released in an extremely limited quantity by the independent label D.U. Records, and only occasionally appears for sale on eBay.[1]

The set contains seven audio discs and one DVD. Included are Volume 1, Volume 2, Volume 3, Volume 4, Late-Eighties-Vein, Volume 5 and Volume 7. Although most of the recordings had been previously released, the majority of them are out of print and difficult to find. Volume 7, the box set's only disc of new material, is actually composed entirely of grind/metal music that was included on the original cassette pressings of the albums, but had to be cut due to the time restraints of compact discs—the cassette versions were all approximately 90 minutes, whereas compact discs at the time could only hold about 75 minutes. The DVD contains the videos Live From Longmont Potion Castle, Return to Longmont Potion Castle as well as several other clips.

In 2006, the artist behind Longmont Potion Castle claimed that Longbox Option Package would be his final release under the moniker. About two years later, an album of entirely new recordings, Volume 6, was released. Then in 2009, another album of new recordings, Volume 7, was released. It was also purported to be Longmont's last.

Reviews[edit]

Longbox Option Package was named as one of 2006's best releases by San Francisco's Aquarius Records.[2] They also cited it as "Easily the best, funniest, most bizarre series of crank calls ever," and likened his demeanor and humor to that of alternative comic, Steven Wright.[3] The release was also hailed by comedy and music critic, Mark Prindle.[4]

Track listing[edit]

Disc 1: Longmont Potion Castle Volume 1[edit]

  1. "Longmont Theme 1"
  2. "Brian"
  3. "Longmont Theme 2"
  4. "Polynesian Showgroup"
  5. "Sweet's Auido:Video"
  6. "Lotion 1"
  7. "Longmont Medley 1"
  8. "Lotion 2"
  9. "Exotic Cookies 1"
  10. "I Don't Know, Brother 1"
  11. "Nipper 1"
  12. "Matthew: 5, Verse: 9"
  13. "Fists 1"
  14. "Bracket"
  15. "Les"
  16. "Sam Goody"
  17. "Longmont Medley 2"
  18. "Spit Peaches"
  19. "Exotic Cookies 2"
  20. "Bugs"
  21. "Concrete Fountains"
  22. "I Don't Know, Brother 2"
  23. "Known French Lady"
  24. "Frank"
  25. "Valdez Chewbacca"
  26. "The Wall"
  27. "Longmont Medley 3"
  28. "Chalice"
  29. "Bonecrusher Smith"
  30. "The Evil Dope"
  31. "Exotic Cookies 3"
  32. "Whip 1"
  33. "Whip 2"
  34. "Voice Over Guy 1"
  35. "Helium Lambs"
  36. "Whistle Blower"
  37. "OK, You Got It"
  38. "Evergreen Motel 1"
  39. "Longmont Medley 4"
  40. "I Don't Know, Brother 3"
  41. "Stop This Nonsense"
  42. "I'm In My Barn"
  43. "Travis"
  44. "Listen, Steve"
  45. "Candice"
  46. "Greetings"
  47. "Party Line"
  48. "Nipper 2"
  49. "Lamb"
  50. "Fingerhut"
  51. "Chisel"
  52. "2 Live Crew"
  53. "Cricus Tickets"
  54. "Burn"
  55. "Putty 1"
  56. "Putty 2"
  57. "Old Timer"
  58. "Dudley"
  59. "Do You Catch My Drift"
  60. "Fists 2"
  61. "Packaging Store 1"
  62. "Rap Hotline"
  63. "Packaging Store 2"
  64. "Otis"
  65. "Voice Mail Mysteries"
  66. "Cleats"

Disc 2: Longmont Potion Castle Volume 2[edit]

  1. "Emilio"
  2. "Steve's Meat Market 1"
  3. "Baked Goods"
  4. "Grover Loaf"
  5. "Queen Bee BBQ"
  6. "Fingerhut 2"
  7. "Evergreen Motel 2"
  8. "Lamb Patch"
  9. "Longmont Medley 5"
  10. "Cymbal"
  11. "Weird"
  12. "Voice-Over Guy 2"
  13. "Square Dance"
  14. "Rifle"
  15. "Longmont Theme 3"
  16. "Bronchial Tubes"
  17. "Eel Bowel 1"
  18. "Digital Bowels"
  19. "UPS Ass"
  20. "Trouble Hanging Up"
  21. "Get the Damn Law"
  22. "Butt Bowel"
  23. "Longmont Medley 6"
  24. "Packaging Store 3"
  25. "Crazy Monkey"
  26. "Kick My Bowel"
  27. "Hog Jowel"
  28. "Longmont Theme 4"
  29. "Longmont Medley 7"
  30. "Longmont Theme 5"
  31. "My Aunt & Uncle"
  32. "Magnetic Bowel 1"
  33. "Old Hog Jowel"
  34. "Steve's Meat Market 2"
  35. "Magnetic Bowel 2"
  36. "12-Gauge"
  37. "Make My Day"
  38. "Bowel Delivery"
  39. "Hernia Package"
  40. "Longmont Medley 8"
  41. "Beef House"
  42. "Lesbian Magnet"
  43. "Longmont Medley 9"
  44. "Who Are You"
  45. "Mad Man Garcia's Tires"
  46. "Green Beret"
  47. "Longmont Medley 10"
  48. "Wrestling Match"
  49. "Longmont Theme 6"
  50. "Call Waiting Thing"
  51. "Longmont Medley 11"
  52. "Flying Elvi"
  53. "Your Old Friend, Roy"
  54. "Kill Cockroaches"
  55. "Loud Sounds"
  56. "Give Me The Phone Number"
  57. "Steve's Meat Market 3"
  58. "Bull Riders Only"
  59. "Turtle Bowel"
  60. "Sausage Lady 1"
  61. "I Don't Know, Sister"
  62. "Siamese Peacock Bowel 1"
  63. "The Cult Is Deceptive"
  64. "Legal Pornographic Films"
  65. "Siamese Peacock Bowel 2"
  66. "Eel Bowel 2"
  67. "Delmo"
  68. "Longmont Theme 7"

Disc 3: Longmont Potion Castle Volume 3[edit]

  1. "Rich Karlas" (0:49)
  2. "AT&T vs. MCI" (2:56)
  3. "Freddie" (0:46)
  4. "Goggle by Tandy" (2:10)
  5. "Evergreen Motel 3" (2:24)
  6. "Give Me the Phone Number" (0:42)
  7. "Nugent" (1:33)
  8. "Vitamin Guy" (10:28)
  9. "Flutter Rate" (1:00)
  10. "Desmond" (1:01)
  11. "Nouget" (0:33)
  12. "Rolo" (0:58)
  13. "Centipedes 1" (0:49)
  14. "Wedge of Mackerel" (1:16)
  15. "Rope" (2:33)
  16. "GG Allin (featuring GG Allin)" (0:55)
  17. "Elephant Tonsils" (0:39)
  18. "Steve's Meat Market 4" (1:06)
  19. "Centipedes 2" (0:29)
  20. "Sausage Lady 1" (0:20)
  21. "Donut Handler" (1:09)
  22. "Nannette Nunanacci" (1:27)
  23. "Gugliotta 1" (0:53)
  24. "Julio Ointment" (2:28)
  25. "Sausage Lady 2" (2:30)
  26. "Gugliotta 2" (0:58)
  27. "Gomez" (2:49)
  28. "Spleen" (1:40)
  29. "Coaxial Flutter" (1:41)
  30. "Red Miller" (0:36)
  31. "Lesbian Music" (1:10)
  32. "Putty 1" (0:38)
  33. "Putty Theme" (0:59)
  34. "Lion's Lair" (0:45)
  35. "Wizard of Wor" (2:56)
  36. "Underbakke & Associates" (2:52)
  37. "Puffy Twinkie" (2:09)
  38. "Student in Guitar Lesson" (1:41)
  39. "Cymbal" (0:58)
  40. "Scrotum Sausage" (0:15)
  41. "Putty 2" (1:13)
  42. "Sausage Lady 3" (0:27)
  43. "Laverne Beasley Lithograph" (0:31)
  44. "Ethel's House of Soul" (0:21)
  45. "Rusty Savage" (0:28)
  46. "Buddy Gripple" (1:08)
  47. "Zingers" (0:32)
  48. "Shut Up" (0:29)
  49. "Brother Marvin" (1:46)
  50. "Embroidered Nipper" (0:24)
  51. "Grandpa Tweedles" (1:02)
  52. "Stick Insect" (0:14)
  53. "Bonecrusher Smith" (0:19)
  54. "DeFranco's Boots" (0:55)
  55. "Nectarines" (2:04)

Disc 4: Longmont Potion Castle Volume 4[edit]

  1. "Theexcitementoftandy"
  2. "Retrovaporizednebulizer"
  3. "Talkin'whip"
  4. "Chess"
  5. "Gettingnice"
  6. "Nohaircuts"
  7. "Bert"
  8. "Pleatedapproach"
  9. "Nash"
  10. "Montoyan/artesianconnection"
  11. "Bud"
  12. "Tosirwithmillipedes"
  13. "Voltorforglick"
  14. "Coalition#1"
  15. "Coalition#2"
  16. "Snowcamps"
  17. "Livelambfromlebanon#1"
  18. "Bruschotti"
  19. "Livelambfromlebanon#2"
  20. "Goodlord"
  21. "Themeaningoftheword"
  22. "Haroldsacks"
  23. "Vendingmachines"
  24. "Antonio"
  25. "Warble"
  26. "Nobueno"
  27. "Owl#1"
  28. "Owl#2"
  29. "Mumraandape"
  30. "Crashout"
  31. "Darwiniansociety"
  32. "Thepolishstallion"
  33. "Abraham"
  34. "Abrahamdropshismask"
  35. "Collage#1"
  36. "Buzzoff"
  37. "Les"
  38. "Nowhiring"
  39. "Collage#2"
  40. "Collage#3"
  41. "Falconandwhip"
  42. "Killthewhip"
  43. "Atthefeetofthemaster"
  44. "Noteethtobust"
  45. "Sonofabitch"
  46. "Extralargesausages"
  47. "Dicktrickle"
  48. "Christianconnections"
  49. "Asimpleinquiry"
  50. "Metalinterlude#5"
  51. "Lipitor"
  52. "Accidentaldeathinsurance"
  53. "Y2K"
  54. "Scrimmage"
  55. "Squidonmyside"
  56. "Octopus"
  57. "Answerteam"
  58. "Rex"
  59. "Leprechanjulius"
  60. "Batfish"
  61. "Wallace"
  62. "Mortuaryvs.officemax"
  63. "Waxtraxvs.chic-fil-a"
  64. "Albertsonsvs.albertsons"
  65. "Tommywong'svs.tonyrigatoni's"
  66. "Sunshinevs.julius"
  67. "Blockbustervs.blockbuster"
  68. "Wallunitsvs.wafflehouse"

Disc 5: Late-Eighties-Vein[edit]

  1. "Stop Playing Harmonica" (1:21)
  2. "Goat" (3:37)
  3. "Levi" (0:50)
  4. "Peacock" (6:26)
  5. "Sam Goody" (3:43)
  6. "Beef House" (4:30)
  7. "Rec Center" (0:44)
  8. "Orange Julius" #418 (1:01)
  9. "Dateline" (1:06)
  10. "Baseball Game Beer Guy (3:42)
  11. "Sherbert" (0:47)
  12. "Collage #0" (2:07)
  13. "Orange Julius" #419 (0:27)
  14. "Mallards" (1:39)
  15. "Free Manure" (1:19)
  16. "Owls" (1:58)
  17. "Snow Flake Cleaners" (0:36)
  18. "Virtual Balboa" (1:06)
  19. "Selena" (1:31)
  20. "Gymnastic Lady" (1:18)
  21. "Orange Julius #420" (0:35)
  22. "Metal Interlude (Missing)" (2:15)
  23. "Limes"/"Super Nintendo" (hidden track) (29:17)

Disc 6: Longmont Potion Castle Volume 5[edit]

  1. "Loud Tones"
  2. "UPS Freakout 1"
  3. "Spencer Zebra"
  4. "Aqualamb"
  5. "Helium Socket"
  6. "Hop Sing"
  7. "Chowder Julius"
  8. "Election Blues"
  9. "Boats"
  10. "Fennel Cartwright"
  11. "Neighborhood Bar"
  12. "Chinese Bowling Balls"
  13. "Delmo"
  14. "Chimp Giraffe Loop"
  15. "Internal Metalude"
  16. "Wovenloaf"
  17. "Pill Salesman"
  18. "Sausage Lady"
  19. "Twist & Shout"
  20. "Tommy Vee"
  21. "Squid Sandwich"
  22. "UPS Freakout 2"
  23. "Kemosabe"
  24. "3-Way Mayhem"
  25. "All Caps"

Disc 7: Bonus Disc[edit]

  1. "Untitled 1 (2006)" (2:43)
  2. "Untitled 2 (2006)" (4:23)
  3. "Internal Metalude" (3:05)
  4. "Metal Interlude #0" (2:28)
  5. "Metal Interlude #0.5" (2:29)
  6. "Metal Interlude (Missing)" (3:14)
  7. "Metal Interlude 5" (2:21)
  8. "Theme From Live From LPC" (1:10)
  9. "Untitled 1 (LPC3)" (2:19)
  10. "Untitled 2 (LPC3)" (4:50)

Disc 8: Bonus DVD[edit]

1. Live From Longmont Potion Castle
2. Return to Longmont Potion Castle
3. Burn Video
4. LPC Video Medley
5. Internal Metalude (Live 12/2/05)
6. Implement of Prognosis Demo + LPC Outtakes

References[edit]

External links[edit]