Love bombing

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Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by lavish demonstrations of attention and affection. The phrase can be used in different ways. Members of the Unification Church of the United States (who reportedly coined the expression) use or have used it to convey a genuine expression of friendship, fellowship, interest, or concern.[1] Critics of cults use the phrase with the implication that the "love" is feigned and that the practice is psychological manipulation in order to create a feeling of unity within the group against a society perceived as hostile.[2] In 2011 Clinical Psychologist Oliver James advocated a form of love bombing in his book Love Bombing - Reset your child's emotional thermostat, as a means for parents to rectify emotional problems in their children.[3]

History[edit]

In his 1999 testimony to the Maryland Cult Task Force, Ronald Loomis, Director of Education for the International Cultic Studies Association, said: "We did not make up this term. The term 'love bombing' originated with the Unification Church, the Moonies."[4]

Sun Myung Moon, the founder and then leader of the Unification Church, used the expression "love bomb" in a July 23, 1978 speech (translated):

Unification Church members are smiling all of the time, even at four in the morning. The man who is full of love must live that way. When you go out witnessing you can caress the wall and say that it can expect you to witness well and be smiling when you return. What face could better represent love than a smiling face? This is why we talk about love bomb; Moonies have that kind of happy problem.[5]

Former members of the Family International, including Deborah Davis, daughter of the founder of the Children of God, and Kristina Jones, daughter of an early member, have used the term in describing the early days of the group.[6][7]

Psychology professor Margaret Singer popularized the concept, becoming closely identified with the love-bombing-as-brainwashing point of view.[1] In her 1996 book, Cults in Our Midst, she described the technique:

As soon as any interest is shown by the recruits, they may be love bombed by the recruiter or other cult members. This process of feigning friendship and interest in the recruit was originally associated with one of the early youth cults, but soon it was taken up by a number of groups as part of their program for luring people in. Love bombing is a coordinated effort, usually under the direction of leadership, that involves long-term members' flooding recruits and newer members with flattery, verbal seduction, affectionate but usually nonsexual touching, and lots of attention to their every remark. Love bombing - or the offer of instant companionship - is a deceptive ploy accounting for many successful recruitment drives.[8]

Dr. Geri-Ann Galanti (in a sympathetic article) writes: "A basic human need is for self-esteem.... Basically [love bombing] consists of giving someone a lot of positive attention."[9]

In the 2010s British author and psychologist Oliver James developed a technique for parents to help their troubled children which he called “love bombing.” It is described as, “dedicating one-on-one time spoiling and lavishing your child with love, and, within reason, pandering to their every wish.”[10][11][12]

The expression has also been used to describe the tactics used by pimps and gang members to control their victims.[13]

References[edit]

  1. ^ a b Richardson, James T. (2004). Regulating Religion: Case Studies from Around the Globe. Springer. ISBN 0-306-47887-0.  p. 479
  2. ^ Dennis Tourish and Tim Wohlforth, On the Edge: Political Cults Right and Left, Armonk, NY: M.E. Sharpe, 2000, page 19.
  3. ^ All you need is love bombing, The Guardian, September 21, 2012
  4. ^ "1999 Testimony of Ronald N. Loomis to the Maryland Cult Task Force". 
  5. ^ "Sun Myung Moon (1978) "We Who Have Been Called To Do God's Work" Speech in London, England". 
  6. ^ "Eyewitness: Why people join cults". BBC News. March 24, 2000. Retrieved January 5, 2010. 
  7. ^ "The Children of God: The Inside Story". 
  8. ^ Singer, Margaret (1996; 2003) Cults in Our Midst. Revised edition, 2003. Wiley. ISBN 0-7879-6741-6
  9. ^ Langone, Michael, Recovery from Cults, Chapter 3 - Reflections on "Brainwashing", Geri-Ann Galanti
  10. ^ Love bombing kids to get happy results, ‘’The Daily Telegraph’’ FEBRUARY 22, 2011.
  11. ^ It took one day to change my son’s bad behaviour, ‘’The Daily Express’’, June 30,2011
  12. ^ 'Love bombing' reminds parents how much fun it is to be with kids, The Australian, March 2, 2013.
  13. ^ Gangs and Girls: Understanding Juvenile Prostitution,Michel Dorais, Patrice Corriveau, McGill-Queen's Press - MQUP, Jan 1, 2009, page 38