Mad TV recurring characters

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This article contains synopses of many of the more noteworthy recurring characters and sketches that have appeared on the sketch comedy television series MADtv.

24 with Bobby Lee[edit]

A sketch based on 24 that features Bobby Lee and a guest on the show. Every sketch begins with Bobby sleeping in his underwear in a certain position. Jordan Peele, Nicole Parker, and Crista Flanagan appeared in the sketches. Celebrities John Cena, Cheech and Chong, David Navarro, John Cho, Jamie Kennedy, Howie Mandel, and Carlos Mencia have also appeared in the sketches.

3 Minute Meal[edit]

3 Minute Meal is a cooking show with a format similar to that of Rachael Ray's "30 Minute Meals". It is hosted by Wendy Walker (Crista Flanagan), nicknamed the "queen of quick cuisine". In each sketch, she attempts to prepare a fairly simple dish, but is hampered by unfortunate occurrences, some of which involve bodily harm. The show also includes an on-screen timer whose loud ticking noise is evidently audible on set, disturbing Walker as she tries to cook.

During the run of MADtv, from 1995 to 2009, the sketch appeared 3 times. In the first episode, Walker attempts to prepare tuna melts, but ends up preparing "tuna and bread" after she knocks an open can of tuna off the counter and experiences difficulties while opening a mayonnaise jar and a bag of bread. The second episode has a Valentine's Day theme, and features Walker attempting to prepare a banana split. The ice cream, however, is frozen solid, and she burns herself on it after microwaving it. After placing over-ripe bananas on a plate, she discovers that the walnuts in the set's kitchen are whole, not chopped. She slices one of her fingertips off trying to crack the walnuts with a knife; she places it on the plate at the end, as if it were a cherry. The final episode was filmed "on location" at the University of Michigan football stadium, where she attempts to prepare chili dogs. Her misfortune begins when she is placed in an Ohio State University sweatshirt on the Michigan side of the parking lot, and continues as she burns herself on a grill, discovers that her hot dogs have frozen solid in her cooler, and is pelted with footballs by angry Michigan fans. The episode ends with Walker being struck by a van.

7 A.M. Condo Report[edit]

7 A.M. Condo Report is a show hosted by elderly condominium owners Muriel Westig (Stephnie Weir) and Clifford Busley (Ron Pederson). Muriel nearly always has at least one stroke during the show, which she fights off through sheer willpower and continues. Clifford is in a wheelchair, which he often has problems with. Dilly Mae Jackson (Danielle Gaither) is the show's entertainment reporter. After Ron Pederson left MADtv, Muriel Westig appeared in other sketches, like The Silver Fox, with Michael McDonald.

Abercrombie & Fitch Employees[edit]

In a parody of Abercrombie & Fitch's advertising images and hiring practices, Ron Pederson, Ike Barinholtz, Josh Meyers and Michael McDonald play store employees with names like Dutch, Cougar, Storm and Carpenter, portrayed as vain, unhelpful, and overly-coiffed gay men. They insult customers of groups that are frequently discriminated against, such as women and the overweight. The sketch often parodied alleged racist hiring policies. Aries Spears, Keegan-Michael Key, and Jordan Peele appeared as African American employees—Panther, Midnight, and Stingray. Despite appearing athletic, the characters were depicted as weak and cowardly; in one skit they were beaten by Lane Bryant employees (Daniele Gaither, Stephnie Weir, and Nicole Parker) for popping their tires because they were taking up staff parking spaces. One sketch featured Bobby Lee as an employee named Turtle, who was helpful and nice to the customers.

Alison[edit]

Alison (Alex Borstein) is a young office worker with an odd habit of expressing her private thoughts by breaking the fourth wall and singing a style which parodies Broadway musicals. She ignores the subjects of her songs while singing, prompting negative reactions from them after the songs are over.

Angela Wright[edit]

Angela Wright (Stephnie Weir) is an eighth-grade girl at Boyd Junior High, who wears braces and typically appears in videos of her own creation. Her videos frequently consist of history projects for her teacher, Mrs. Rogers; one video also showed her attempting to stage a video for America's Funniest Home Videos. Debra Wilson played Angela's African-American best friend, Beth, and Josh Meyers played Billy Wright, Angela's brother. Paul Vogt plays Natalie, Angela's overweight Canadian cousin. Her videos sometimes attempt to prove her mistaken theories, which are mainly stereotypes (e.g. elderly white people hate black people). Angela's films end up disproving her theories, much to her surprise.

Antonia Timmens[edit]

Antonia Timmens (Nicole Sullivan), who spoke with a noticeable lisp and may have been mildly retarded or autistic, found everyday activities and normal conversations challenging. Skits featuring Antonia usually showed her attempting to perform a variety of jobs clearly beyond her abilities, such as piloting an aircraft, creating signs, and working at a fast-food restaurant. Other characters became increasingly frustrated by her, particularly when she would respond with one of her inane catchphrases, such as "I have a cat named Cici". She typically responds to all questions with pat responses from the "magic eight ball" novelty item such as "yes," "no," "it is possible," and "I don't know."

Phil LaMarr usually appeared as a character in Antonia's sketches, even revealing in one sketch that he has played the same character in all of the sketches. In a game show sketch called "Gimme a Clue", patterned like The $25,000 Pyramid or Password, LaMarr's character tries to describe the word "cat", to which Antonia repeatedly says "Cici". When time runs out, LaMarr's character asks what a "Thee-Thee" is (due to Antonia's lisp), prompting Antonia to reply that it is her cat, frustrating LaMarr.

The character was influenced by a character that Gilda Radner played from 1975-80 on Saturday Night Live.

Average Asian[edit]

This series of skits involved an Asian-American man named Hideki (Bobby Lee) in social settings, where those around him expect him to do stereotypically-Asian things, such as practicing Chinese medicine or creating origami. Out of these various stereotypes, few were proven true; one showing Hideki beating a non-Asian in table tennis and another where he calls a group of ninjas to attack. Hideki also crashed his car after driving for only a few seconds, blaming the camera beyond the fourth wall for his error.

Bae Sung[edit]

Bae Sung (Bobby Lee) is an Asian-American man who has held a variety of jobs. Most of his sketches require him to translate something or act as an interpreter for two characters, one of whom speaks a language such as Korean or Chinese. His "translations" are usually random and confusing, frustrating the other characters. In a few of the sketches, most of them involving Ike Barinholtz, Bae Sung answers a series of questions nonsensically, followed by his catchphrase, "Uh-oh, hot dog!" (on one occasion, he was tackled by a man in a hot dog suit).

Bae Sung appeared to be killed off in season 11 in a sketch involving the Taiwanese Triads and the cast of The Sopranos. He was then ground up into hamburger meat by Paulie Walnuts (Frank Caeti) and Silvio Dante (Barinholtz) and consumed by Bobby Lee, who promptly got sick and defecated Bae Sung into a toilet (the sketch's final scene shows the feces swirling around and going down the drain.) However, he reappeared in season 12 in a parody of Medium, as a translator for a future murder victim who speaks Korean. Allison DuBois (Crista Flanagan) was unable to save the victim due to Bae Sung's poor translation. The coroner, also played by Bobby Lee—and also named Bae Sung—spoke perfect English. He returned in Season 14 as a translator for a businessman (Keegan-Michael Key) in charge of the Super Bowl Halftime Show.

Bible Dude[edit]

Bible Dude (portrayed by Michael McDonald) is a character meant to parody evangelical superhero Bibleman. He is portrayed as a Christ-loving superhero who stops children from doing things forbidden by the Bible. Bibleman's show aired on the PAX television network. Characters whose actions suggested that they were considering committing a sin would be read a passage from the Bible, often completely unrelated to the topic at hand. Characters who continued in spite of his warnings were 'zapped', reducing them to skeletons. Aries Spears occasionally appeared as Jesus Christ.

The Blind Kung-Fu Master[edit]

The Blind Kung-Fu Master (Bobby Lee) appears out of nowhere to perform heroic actions, such as saving an elderly person who is being robbed. Almost without exception, however, he fails miserably because he is handicapped by his poor vision, frequently running into solid objects or attacking the wrong person. Other characters exploit his blindness to play jokes on him; for example, when he was learning the martial arts, his teachers, instead of giving him the proper dragon tattoo, gave him a tattoo of a little girl with a balloon. At one point, by sheer chance he temporarily gained his sight and said "I've never seen myself before," implying he was blind since birth. However, shortly after gaining his sight, he used binoculars to look directly at the sun and became blind

Bunifa Latifah Halifah Sharifa Jackson[edit]

Bunifa Latifah Halifah Sharifa Jackson (Debra Wilson) is a meter maid from Hawthorne, California, who makes extensive use of ebonics when speaking. She is typically arrogant, rude, and insensitive. Bunifa often labels other characters' commonplace, expected actions (such as an airport security guard screening her) as being motivated by racism. She often rapidly shifts moods at mild stimuli for comedic effect, aggressively arguing with characters one moment, then talking daintily with them seconds afterward. She frequently is seen on her mobile phone talking to her friend Sonya, who is never seen.

She meets her match in Miss Katisha Latisha Parisha Farisha Johnson (guest star Tyra Banks) who is the manager of a fashion store. They initially quarrel, but in the end become friends and go out to have a drink.

Cabana Chat[edit]

Cabana Chat was a recurring skit during the second and third seasons of MADtv. The hostess was gleefully lecherous Dixie Wetsworth (Mary Scheer), who had a deep tan, wrinkled skin, and a country club lockjaw accent. She was prone to broad double-entendres and flirted with all males who appeared on "Cabana Chat", including the beautiful but dim-witted Pool Boy (Bryan Callen) and her highly effiminate musical director, Dexter St. Croix (Orlando Jones). In the third season, Dixie revealed that Pool Boy and Dexter left the show so, James Brown Jr. (Aries Spears) took over as musical director and co-host. The similarities between Dixie Wetsworth and comedienne Phyllis Diller were underscored when Diller appeared on "Cabana Chat".

Cathy and Roy[edit]

Cathy (Mo Collins) and Roy (Ike Barinholtz) are an angry, verbally abusive couple who constantly fight, even in front of others. They only remain married because they love their daughter Wendy (Stephnie Weir), who seems to not notice her parents' fighting. They usually argue about Roy's disability and unemployment, and Cathy's constant nagging at him. Most of their sketches end with Roy begging Cathy to kill him and Cathy almost doing so, but never following through.

Cindy Delmont[edit]

Cindy Delmont (Paul Vogt) is a morbidly obese woman. Despite her weight, she seems to find herself attractive, and is oblivious to insults directed at her.

CLOPS[edit]

CLOPS is a parody of COPS, done entirely in Claymation. It typically featured police officers pursuing and arresting (and sometimes mistreating) popular cartoon characters or toys for various crimes, such as arresting Gumby for robbing a convenience store, G.I. Joe and Barbie for a domestic dispute and disturbing the peace, Santa Claus for driving drunk and smuggling cocaine, the Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots for brawling, Mr. Potato Head for public drunkenness, Wallace from Wallace and Gromit for animal abuse (of Gromit), and Paddington Bear for indecent exposure.

In one episode, a rampaging Pillsbury Doughboy was shot repeatedly by the officers, but the bullets had no effect on his doughy body (even reacting to the gunshots with his signature "Hoo-hoo!" laugh), so he was pushed into an oven and baked, paralleling the ending of Terminator 2.

Cloret[edit]

Cloret (Debra Wilson) is an unenthusiastic, depressed woman who takes on customer service jobs. When angered, she dons a distinctively wide-eyed look, often threatening the offending character. She appeared in two sketches, working at a juice shop that parodied Jamba Juice, and as a gate agent, security officer, and pilot for United Airlines. She mentioned in her last appearance that she is supposed to be on Wellbutrin, but it makes her too aggressive with her kids.

Clyde and Judith[edit]

Clyde (Michael McDonald) and Judith (Nicole Sullivan) are a couple who attend events such as sports meets, parades, and school plays. They loudly provide a scathing commentary of these events, qualifying their comparisons with "literally!" while making excessive use of hyperbole. Clyde and Judith attend such events only for their pleasure, as they have no children of their own. The sketches end with an outraged parent insulting them back, again with excessive use of "literally," and an announcer stating something along the lines of "What will Clyde and Judith do next?"

Coach Hines[edit]

Coach Sandoval "Sandy" Hines (Keegan-Michael Key) is a short-tempered, energetic high school gym teacher, who works at a Catholic school called St. Francis High. Hines easily becomes upset by inappropriate behavior from mostly-unseen students during school assemblies, threatening them with death or severe bodily harm in response. Many of his threats are excessively creative and involve infrequently-named bodily organs, such as the sigmoid colon and the duodenum. Principal Lankenstein (Ike Barinholtz), who is the principal of St. Francis High, appears to dislike Hines because he always interrupts Lankenstein's speeches during school events for the purpose of correcting disruptive students, though Hines's corrections are frequently more disruptive than the students themselves. Despite acting mean and tough, Hines is revealed to be a sensitive, caring man in some sketches. Two of Hines' foils are Terry Yamanashi (Bobby Lee) and Jeff Deshazer (Ike Barinholtz), both of whom are students at St. Francis. It is revealed in his final appearance that his last name is really Heinz, and he is the heir to the Heinz ketchup fortune.

Coffee Twins[edit]

Two office workers (Crista Flanagan and Arden Myrin) repeatedly make jokes in their workplace. Typically, Arden's character tells a joke, and both laugh for literally hours on end. When others find her jokes unamusing, Arden's character swears and breaks things, forcing Crista's character to either follow her or stay behind. Arden's character sometimes also told jokes to her husband (Bobby Lee), who required an explanation for each one. The pair was first introduced when each of them had the same coffee mug, hence the name "Coffee Twins."

Crafty Gals[edit]

Sisters Denise (Crista Flanagan) and Kendra (Arden Myrin) appear at a stand selling their handmade crafts, using the phrase "Are you jazzed for crafts?". Both are very nerdy and somewhat naïve, and have very low standards when it comes to men, falling for a white trash trucker, two obese brothers, a rude black man, and so on.

Darlene McBride[edit]

Darlene McBride (Nicole Sullivan) is a country music singer with an oversized hairdo, whose songs incorporate racist, sexist, homophobic, strict fundamentalist and anti-Semitic views of country singers from real life.

McBride gave her young sons (John and Wayne) assault rifles as Christmas gifts in one skit, and later blamed their subsequent injuries on a lack of school prayer. A map showing the stops on her "Take Back America" tour created a swastika pattern. She also released a rap album entitled The Marshall McBride LP after Eminem "made hate cool again".

Darrell / "Can I have your number?"[edit]

Darrell (whose name is pronounced /dəˈrɛl/, as he insists) is a young African-American man (played by Nicole Randall Johnson) who flirts with girls very persistently, almost to the point of stalking them. He repeatedly asks for girls' telephone numbers, becoming obviously upset (though attempting to hide this) when they refuse.

Mofaz, the Depressed Persian Tow Truck Man[edit]

Mofaz, the Depressed Persian Tow Truck Man (Michael McDonald) scoffs when his customers complain about their problems. He describes his miserable life, inadvertently making them feel better about themselves. Mofaz's complaints involve various facets of his life, such as his job and family. Mofaz speaks poor English, often searching for words with his catchphrase "Erm, how you say?", also using the expressions "hellaaa, hellaaa, hellaaa" for "testicles," and "kraimenech" for "vulva". In each skit, he would be given a different title, following the form "The Depressed Persian Tow Truck Man Who [list of problems mentioned during the skit]".

In the skit with Hillary Clinton (Nicole Parker), Mofaz claimed that his full name is "Mofaz Idi Amin Pol Pot Stalin bin Laden Manson Johnson Always".

Mofaz appeared 14 times during seasons 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and 13.

Dolomite[edit]

Dolomite is based almost exactly off of the 1975 blaxploitation film superhero Dolemite.

Dorothy Lanier[edit]

Dorothy Lanier (Stephnie Weir) is an intense, charismatic woman devoted to the craft of acting. She is wildly melodramatic and will react with devastation at the mere suggestion that she is a lousy actress. Dorothy Lanier's bright red bowl cut hairstyle and her long silky scarves are her most recognizable traits.

Dot Goddard[edit]

Dot Goddard (Stephnie Weir) is a hyperactive 7-year-old girl, who has an enormous childlike imagination. It is revealed that her real name is Penelope in one episode. Her twin sister, Karen Goddard (Alex Borstein), is a child genius, who has led NASA expeditions. Though Dot seems to behave the way most any other young child with ADD would, she is constantly compared to her sister, which is the source of many of the jokes in this sketch.

The pair's parents, Ronald (Michael McDonald) and Wesley (Mo Collins) are proud of Karen, but continually frustrated and disappointed by Dot; Dot herself appears unaware of this. Karen, on the other hand, appears to enjoy the company of her sister nonetheless. Once Alex Borstein, who portrayed Karen, had left the show, Dot continued to appear, with her parents usually wearing shirts reading "My Other Child Is A Genius".

Dot is obsessed with gloves, to the point of becoming desperate when she cannot wear them. She is evidently entertained by the fact that her small gloves fit on her hands, claiming that this is "magic". She sometimes wears several layers of gloves.

Dot appears to consider God and Jesus as her close friends, talking about them in humorous ways. Her parents and Karen appear to be atheists or agnostics, downplaying this.

Eddie Thundercloud[edit]

Edward "Eddie" Thundercloud (Keegan-Michael Key) is a Native American man from South Dakota living in today's society. He tries to counter all the racial stereotyping from other people, such as people making a war chant when he enters. He also made presidential commercials saying that his ways would bring peace to America, most of which involve doing drugs.

El Asso Wipo[edit]

El Asso Wipo is an Argentine wrestler seeking work on the American wrestling circuit who has a hard time getting patented because of his name. He has been played by David Herman, Chris Hogan, and David Arquette during a guest appearance. After the debut of El Asso Wipo, other wrestlers with offensive names were introduced, including El Diablo Negro (The Black Devil) and Señor Bag of Crap. He is a parody of Batman's Bane. His catch phrase is, "I will break your back, like so, with my knee!"

Emcee Esher[edit]

Emcee Esher (Aries Spears) is a fictional hardcore rapper who uses constant (censored) profanity and has extremely vulgar, though very short, music videos, which are censored heavily on TRL. He has released 14 albums since his death in 1998 and made numerous appearances on MTV TRL. His name is a reference to artist M. C. Escher.

The Eracists[edit]

The Eracists were a group of motivational speakers who toured schools and community centers to denounce bigotry, unknowingly exhibiting bigoted behavior themselves. The Eracists were Anne (Alex Borstein, whose character was in a wheelchair), Debbie (Nicole Sullivan), Steve (Phil LaMarr), and Hugh (Will Sasso). LaMarr's character was later replaced by Reggie (Aries Spears); when Reggie first appeared, he mentioned he was a fan of Steve's dancing.

There were a total of 6 Eracists sketches during seasons 4 and 5; Anne, Debbie, and Hugh appeared in all 6. Phil's character of Steve appeared in 4 episodes, and Aries's character of Reggie appeared in 3 episodes.

Eugene Struthers[edit]

Eugene Struthers (Keegan-Michael Key) is a water delivery man who accosts unsuspecting MADtv guests backstage. His catch phrase is "a whole 'nother level."

Funkenstein against...[edit]

A blaxploitation parody short based on Frankenstein. It follows the adventures of Funkenstein (Jordan Peele) and Dr. Funkenstein (Keegan-Michael Key). Each episode is filmed to parody the movie styles of the 1970s with bad acting, jittery editing, horrible camerawork, and common 1970s slang and settings. Celebrity appearances include Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (Cedric the Entertainer) and Wife of Funkenstein (Aisha Tyler).

Funky Walker, Dirty Talker[edit]

Phil LaMarr plays Desperation Lee, the funky, afro-wearing host of the talk show Funky Walker, Dirty Talker who is a parody of 1970s blaxploitation film characters.

Geert[edit]

Geert (Josh Meyers) is a Dutch boarder who learns about American culture. He asks a lot of questions and is supposed to be annoying. In his sketches, the main character that is supposed to get along with Geert is the only one who is annoyed by him: everyone else loves him. In the end of each sketch, Geert brings one thing that makes the main character like him (for example in the past; marijuana and his attractive sister).

Hoppy Potty[edit]

Hoppy Potty was a Scandinavian pop group featuring Gunter (Will Sasso), Yarl (Michael McDonald), Elka (Mo Collins), Inga (Nicole Sullivan), and Schtein (Pat Kilbane). The group was based on ABBA (but suspiciously sounds like Aqua's "Barbie Girl", which is closer to modern Euro pop) and its name was an accented pronunciation of "Happy Party."[1] The group's debut song and video was "Meet Hoppy Potty," which had gone to #1 everywhere in the world except the United States. Sadly their second video (the Halloween spooktacular "Schpooky Potty") was also their last.

Inside Looking Out[edit]

Pat-Beth Lamontrose (Nicole Parker) and Dontell Lamontrose (Jordan Peele) are an interracial couple who sing and preach against bigotry, despite the fact that Pat-Beth is unintentionally racist. They seem to love each other very deeply despite Pat-Beth's racist comments. In later skits, Dontell realizes what Pat-Beth is really saying and tries to correct her or, failing that, shut her up.

Jack/Jaq, The UBS Guy[edit]

Jack/Jaq (Phil LaMarr) was a hyperactive delivery man for UBS. He wore a signature brown shirt and shorts, like the uniform worn by employees of the company the skit spoofed, UPS. The UBS Guy loved his job enthusiastically, but he also appeared in sketches outside his workplace. In one episode he stated that he loves his job because his dad and grandpa did the job before him.

In a season three sketch, the UBS Guy met the Vancome Lady (Nicole Sullivan) and replaced her as the god of a futuristic Planet of the Apes-type society.

James and Andra[edit]

James (Josh Meyers) and Andra (Michael McDonald) are a gay man and his best friend. While James is calm and easy-going, Andra is nervous, and is prone to nervous outbreaks while shouting obscenities (i.e. "OmiGod this is such bulls**t!!").

They have appeared in parodies of "Boy Meets Boy", "Scare Tactics", and "Hollywood Squares".

Jorge[edit]

Jorge (Keegan-Michael Key) is a short-tempered Mexican immigrant, who works at a fast food restaurant. When disgusted by the meal choices and cooking procedures at the restaurant, Jorge will recite long, overly dramatic soliloquies about his Mexican heritage. Whenever the customers pronounce any Spanish word wrong or order an inauthentic menu item, Jorge assaults them, either verbally or physically (for example, when a customer orders "cinnatwists" from the menu, Jorge brandishes a knife from his boot and stabs the customer). Jorge's supervisor is a put-upon black woman suffering from herpes and a nicotine addiction named Loretta (Daniele Gaither) who yells, "Jorge!" (her catch phrase) whenever he assaults the customers. When Jorge is assaulting the customers and is caught by Loretta, he quickly gets back to the prep line and pretends to push the oven buttons, or pretends to mix. However, Loretta tells Jorge to stop doing the fake stuff, proving that Loretta is smarter than Jorge.

Jorge has long, black shining hair that he flips during his soliloquies.

Jovan Muskatelle[edit]

Jovan Muskatelle (Keegan-Michael Key) plays as an African-American with no shirt on and a shower cap on his head, who usually appears in news bits done by other cast members. When asked what he saw, he describes in a very energetic way, often hopping around, talking fast, and yelling out his catch phrases "It was crazy as hell!" or "It was pandemonium!". He often reappears to say more despite what the other actors may be doing.

Kappa Kappa Kappa Sorority[edit]

Kappa Kappa Kappa (KKK) is a sorority house at USC filled with popular, slutty girls Amber (Jill Michelle Meleán), Gisele (Daniele Gaither), Hayden (Debra Wilson), Mackenzie (Stephnie Weir), Savannah (Nicole Parker), Taylor (Kathryn Fiore), and Toby (Mo Collins). Guest star Trish Stratus also played a member of the Kappa Kappa Kappa. The group is a parody of a typical National Panhellenic Conference member sorority and in fact shares its name with a fraternity at Dartmouth College

Although the girls genuinely seem to mean well, their behavior tends to be unconsciously cruel or destructive. If they make an unpopular girl a "Kappa for a day," they will play what they interpret as typical sorority tricks to try to make her feel welcome but which are horribly cruel (such as sneaking the girl out into public while she is asleep and leaving her outside naked.) Despite being aware of the similarity between their initials and that of the Ku Klux Klan (they always introduce themselves as the "Kappa Kappa Kappa, or KKK--but the good kind!"), they wear white hooded sweatshirts with the letters 'KKK' written on them and often use fire while dressed this way. They once tried to "pass the torch of brotherhood" while dressed this way and attempted to give $100 to an African-American married couple with a baby; unsurprisingly, the couple thought they were a lynch mob and ran away from them. Another time they left a flaming cherries jubilee on the front lawn of an elderly black couple. Their competitors are the Zeta Iota Tau (ZIT for short).

Ka-Son[edit]

Ka-Son (Nicole Randall Johnson) is a customer care executive who takes her job way too seriously. She is somewhat an antithesis of Cloret. She talks rapidly and is very strict about people not adhering to the rules or timings. She often puts people on hold to catch her breath, although she is not the one to start the abuses but she reacts very strongly to abuses with returning with insults like calling the person "fecal matter" and "dookie". She has appeared in four sketches: as an airport security personnel, bouncer at a discothèque, and phone based customer care representative for cable services and valentines shopping network. A similar character also appeared earlier as a woman who appears for a job interview, which hints at the origin of the character, the interviewer (Michael McDonald) says that he is obliged by law to give her the job even though he thinks she is "out of her mind"

Her common catchphrase is when the frustrated customer yells "thank you" to her she yells back "you're welcome" in an equally loud and harsh tone.

The Kim Jong-il Show[edit]

This was a talk show hosted by North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il (Bobby Lee). Whenever an audience member does not laugh at a joke he would have them shot, and it appears serious as the dictator has soldiers posted on the show. Apparently, it is a mandatory show on state television, with political prisoners being made to play drums for background effect as well as censorship, which included blurring out of censored items and cutting to clips of kittens frolicking, often when the dictator decreed something was "too sexy".

Guests on the show have included Renée Zellweger (Nicole Parker), JC Chasez (himself), and Donald Trump (Frank Caliendo).

Dr. Kylie Johnson[edit]

Dr. Kylie Johnson (Stephnie Weir) is a doctor with various specialties. She constantly plays practical jokes on her patients, wears belly-shirts, decorates her pencils and stethoscopes in pink fun fur, and generally never seems to take her job seriously. Despite her antics, she is a genius in the medical profession, and her colleagues regard her as one of the best in her field. She even studied in a law school but she did not pass the bar exams. Some of her antics include having a squirt gun fight in the emergency room, pretending that one of her pregnant patients gave birth to a teddy bear, comparing a man's sperm to N'sync ("'That's just an old picture of N'sync...' 'Exactly, and your sperm is just as tired and there's only five of them,'"), and pretending to record a dating service video on a proctological camera.

Dr. Kylie is one of the most recognizable characters from MADtv.

Larry Felmore[edit]

Lawrence "Larry" Felmore (Michael McDonald) is a short-tempered, sarcastic, celebrity-obsessed geek, who gets very angry when someone insults his favorite actors. Larry also tends to cause riots (which include throwing candy bars, yelling at people in a movie theatre, and even pointing a loaded sub-machine gun). He lives in his mother's basement at home, as mentioned by Larry sometimes. Although it may seem like Larry is the only person out there like that, he meets a woman named Carrie (Nicole Parker), who is just like him, and falls in love.

Larry often threatens people that he will break their noses, or blow their heads off with his gun. Larry's catch phrase is "Shut your big, fat, stupid mouth!" Larry works at a concession stand at a theatre and a video store. Larry's number 1 favorite actor in the world is Justin Guarini, as revealed in "Oscar Madness". Larry will often eavesdrop on conversations and loudly interrupt, saying that the actor they are insulting is amazing, and usually orders them to "shut your big, fat, stupid mouth!".

Leona Campbell[edit]

Mrs. Leona Campbell (Stephnie Weir) is a kind, elderly southern woman who likes wearing leisure suits and has a habit of catching people in stupid situations off guard with her truthful commentary, making them look like fools. She does this with no malicious intent, and is rather kind. Mrs. Campbell often mentions how the situation reminds her of her best friend Zelda. Zelda is implied to be over-weight and has yet to appear in a sketch.

Leona's catchphrases:

  1. "Oh, my goodness!"
  2. "Really...?"
  3. "Honey, you know what?"

When she says "really...?" she does so with a very hoarse voice for comedic effect. One sketch shows Leona is a fit and durable woman being she was run over by a large SUV and was trampled by it for 5 miles. She has sold her house for the odd price of $900,000.01.

Lida Rosario and Melina Jacinto[edit]

Lida Rosario Vázquez (Nicole Sullivan) and Melina Jacinto (Debra Wilson) are two promiscuous, sarcastic and purposely loud Hispanic girls from Los Angeles. Their ethnicity is never stated, but their exaggerated Spanish accents could be Mexican, Puerto Rican or Dominican. Lida and Melina have run a beauty salon, worked at a convenience store, appeared as guests on the set; Ricky Martin by intrusion, and appeared on MTV's Spring Break. When they appeared on the "Jerry Springer" show, Jerry assaulted Rosa on stage. Melina is frequently called "lesbiana" by Lida, but neither of the two are lesbian.

Lida and Melina's nemesis is Rosa (mostly unseen, but played in three sketches by Mo Collins), a "skanky slut" whom they blame for stealing their boyfriends. Lida and Melina idolize Selena, even calling her a saint on occasion. Lida and Melina also refer to Rosa as a "dead bitch," and a "cabrona." or "skankabrona". Lida often calls Melina by the name Lili. Lida has a mild obsession with "doing men" as she happens to call it. When she is thinking, she says "umm..." repeatedly, which, caused by their accents, sounds like "oom". They refer to their breasts as "tetas" and the two characters make repeatedly comment on Melina's "tetas" being larger.

Their catchphrases include:

  • "Oh my gaaaaaaaaaaah!"
  • "Oh my gaaah you so stoopid!"
  • "Push up your tetas"
  • "You're not the boss of me!"
  • "Shut up stoopid!"

The Lillian Verner Game Show[edit]

Season nine introduced a recurring sketch, The Lillian Verner Game Show, with Paul Vogt playing flamboyant host Dale Priskett. This mock game show involved contestants vying for products that are spoofs of Lillian Vernon products. A recurring character, Gail Cinder (Stephnie Weir), would always return as the show's reigning champion. This sketch also featured MADtv writer Michael Hitchcock as the game show's announcer, Simian Dyson (Hitchcock's only character on MADtv). Jeff Probst once guest-starred in place of Paul Vogt.

Lords of the Bling[edit]

This three part series was a blaxploitation parody of the The Lord of the Rings series of films; the main protagonists were Fro-ho, played by Lil' Kim (Debra Wilson), later recast to Mary J. Blige (Daniele Gaither), and Tinsel the Elf, played by a very effeminate Sisqo (Aries Spears), who have been delegated to destroying an evil piece of "bling." They would be assisted by Bill Cosby (also played by Spears) as "Randolph the Ghost Dad."

The primary antagonist was Kazaam (Shaquille O'Neal; also by Spears), who led an army of soldiers called Kobesuks (Kobe Sucks; all played by Bobby Lee). In the third film he was assisted by Ja Rule (Jordan Peele). At the end of the series, the "bling" would be anti-climatically thrown into the "Lake of Fire", a small pool of red liquid. Aries Spears was the only cast member that appeared in all three parts.

Lorraine Swanson[edit]

Lorraine Swanson (Mo Collins) is a confused, middle-aged woman from Fridley, Minnesota who gets into trouble when failing to comply with people's instructions. Lorraine wears high, elastic-waist track pants into which she tucks her shirt. Lorraine also wears an unbuttoned knit sweater (usually red) and her trademark over-sized thick glasses. She speaks with a very thick Fargo accent.

Lorraine has many dogs and a huge family, including her obese husband, Carl (Paul Vogt in later seasons), and her overweight son, Carl Jr., both of whom videotape her zany exploits (often taped on location). She very rarely but indeed runs nude and/or has run-ins with the police during these tapings. She has a remarkable ability of finding the worth of objects, as seen on a sketch where Lorraine participates in The Price Is Right. Lorraine also has a daughter, named Bobby (Bobby Lee) and a son named Mohammed only seen on "Lorraine Goes Camping". Lorraine's catchphrases are a loud throat-clearing sound ("Uh-huh-huh-huh!") as well as a questioning "Huh?!" (usually interrupting the other person) and "Gaaaaawd, that's/you're cute".

Every sketch features a certain word Lorraine cannot pronounce; she repeatedly interrupts the other character's correct pronunciation several times before going "Uh-huh-huh-huh!" Mo Collins plays Lorraine in a Lady Marmalade parody involving the characters of Lorraine Swanson, Dot Goddard, Melina Jacinto and Ms. Swan.

Lorraine appeared 34 times in the run of MADtv. She was in seasons 4-10 and 13. Collins came back for the series finale with Lorraine taking pledges in MADtv Gives Back.

Lowered Expectations[edit]

Lowered Expectations is a humorous interpretation of the typical dating service where expectations are obviously lowered. Sitting on a sofa, people leave a small message that will be heard by callers by dialing a certain combination of numbers assigned to each person. Lowered Expectation's camera man is seen only very rarely, and the camera man has been ridiculed by the character of Ms. Swan, being called a "bimbo" among other things. In early episodes, the skit was introduced by Mrs. Not Nice (played by Debra Wilson). Voice in off: Nicole Sullivan.

Luann Lockhart[edit]

Luann Lockhart (Crista Flanagan) is a stand-up comedienne notorious for her poor delivery, lack of punch lines and frequent bouts of crying. Her material includes bits about her abusive ex-boyfriend and terribly unfunny observations about everyday life. Luann's jokeless routine is mostly made up of nervous laughter and long pauses. Her catchphrases include, "Wait, I have impressions!", "I'm only fooling!", "But seriously...", "Now, let's go to the audience", "Let's not get started on men", "Will you talk to me?" and "Let me tell you about my ex-boyfriend." Eric Price appeared in a sketch as Luann's ex-boyfriend.

Many Shows! With Johnny Gan and Pongo[edit]

First introduced in a season 12 sketch, Xing Lao "Johnny" Gan (Bobby Lee) is a Thai millionaire known for his desire to do women "hard and sloppy, the Johnny Gan way." He and his friend Pongo (Danny Cho) host the show on Thailand public-access television cable TV channel 43-C. Segments have included parodies of Jackass, Dancing With the Stars, cooking shows, and film reviews. Johnny reported several films as "two thumbs down" because there was no scene with him in it. His trademark catch phrases such as "Hello Thailand!" and "'Ello Pongo!" feature his characteristic, harsh accent. Johnny Gan became a millionaire through the Tom LaPont real estate program, which puts homeowners under serious duress to give the home away for free.

Marvin Tikvah[edit]

Marvin Tikvah (Michael McDonald) is an obese, lecherous Jewish film director with a predilection for prostitutes, cocaine and odd combinations of food. Marvin's children have appeared on the show: Mindy (Nicole Sullivan) is Marvin's oldest daughter; his other daughter is Michelle (Alex Borstein). (Borstein also appeared as Marvin's wife, Shelly.) Marvin also has a son, Sheldon (Ike Barinholtz). Mo Collins played several characters named Shelly; all were different and had some relationship to Marvin (doctor, fitness trainer, dog, personal assistant). Marvin's catchphrase is: "Shelly!", followed by an awkward silence and then Marvin saying, "COME ON!!". Marvin's accent made the word "on" sound like "awn."

Mrs. Barone[edit]

Jewel Barone (Mary Scheer) is a mature lady with a gravel voice, she is an extreme chain-smoker who never gets ill from smoking, though everyone around her seems to fall sick, like her daughter Angie, (Nicole Sullivan). Mrs. Barone appeared several times during seasons one, two and three and made a cameo in the Lowered Expectations sketch, that was her last scene in the show before Scheer left MADtv in 1998. Mrs. Barone's catchphrase was: Oh, yes! There it is... (while she is smoking). Her last appearance is on Lowered Expectations, where she coughs up blood while introducing herself on the dating profile.

Mrs. Vigor[edit]

Mrs. Vigor (Mary Scheer) (A.K.A. "The Killer Grandma") is an elderly woman, who kills people by feeding them poisoned brownies.

Once, Mrs. Vigor also tried to kill her grandson with a brick.

Miss Swan[edit]

Bunny Swan (Alex Borstein), also known as Ms. Swan, was born on November 25, 1966 (although in one sketch from 2000, she said she was two years old, and once she stated that she was over 100 years old) and lives at 1040 North Las Palmas (the address for Hollywood Center Studios, at the time home to MADtv). She is 5'2" and weighs 145 lbs., as shown on a sketch when she goes to the DMV. Ms. Swan works as a manicurist at the Gorgeous Pretty Beauty Nail Salon (which she mispronounces as "Goja Pitty Booty Nay Salon"), or the Gorgeous Beauty Nail Salon for short.

Ms. Swan's ethnicity and native country are unclear, although the character exhibits Asian stereotypes. In one sketch, while at Customs, it is revealed that Ms. Swan is from the fictional country of Kouvaria, near the North Pole. However, in one sketch where she is leaving a chain of her salons, the setting of the area suggests that she is from Asia. MADtv execs insist the character was based on the singer Björk; she was compared to Björk in one sketch, once claimed to look like Björk, was referred to as Icelandic by the Vancome Lady in another, and wore Björk's infamous swan dress in another.

When a man asked her where she was from, she replied she lived downtown. Another sketch shows Ms. Swan being fluent in Spanish while using an ATM. She told a man in a bar that her mother was Spanish, but her father was from Space. In Swan: The Homecoming, a film she made with Garry Marshall, her father was played by Mark Hamill, and it was implied that she had another sister: Marcia Swan. Kitty Swan was also introduced as her sister in another sketch, but the sisters may be a single person, named Kitty-Marcia. Borstein claims the character was at least partially inspired by her Hungarian grandmother. In an early sketch, the character was supposed to have been a wigmaker. In another sketch, Ms. Swan goes to a restaurant with her sister, Kitty Swan, to meet two American men, and the two converse in Hungarian and Czech. She has also been shown to have a pet dog named JuJu Bee.

In all of her sketches, except the sketch where she goes on a date where she wears Björk's swan gown, she is wearing her work clothes.

In the sketches, people usually ask Ms. Swan questions, but she never gives a straight answer, driving them insane. She usually says, "Okay, I'll tell you everything" (which she pronounces "okay/oh yah, I teh yu evrteen"), and "He look-a like-a man", both stemming from her debut sketch, in which she could not identify a robber. In the course of the discussion, she will reply, about an obvious detail, that the growing-impatient questioner "didn't say that before" when formulating the question. She also knows to lie and be cunning, which makes her complex in that often the viewer is unsure of whether she is being dumb or crafty or simply annoying.

Ms. Swan also tends to purse her lips, saying "thanks to you," after she feels another character has helped her. In one sketch, she auditions for the Spice Girls and was unable to follow simple directions and spoke the lyrics (incorrectly as well) rather than singing them, which made the director yell at her.

When on Lowered Expectations, she ridiculed the cameraman. When in a sketch with Michael McDonald, she often refers to him as a "monkey in the bush", humorously insinuating his being a homosexual.

Ms. Swan made a cameo appearance on Family Guy (in which Borstein voices "Lois Griffin" and several other characters) in the episode "Don't Make Me Over".

On February 8, 2011, an unexpected video surfaced of Ms. Swan in a parody of Black Swan. This video can be found on YouTube. Made independently of MADtv, the parody was created by Borstein and her husband, Jackson Douglas.

Nacho Hernandez[edit]

Nacho Hernandez (Johnny A. Sanchez) is a Hispanic cholo man who goes by the name Lil' Joker. He often annoys reporters with inner city jokes who try to ask him serious questions. He has many friends with odd nicknames that reference their strange flaws, and often shows up at events for no apparent reason.

Noodles & Nippy[edit]

Noodles (Jordan Peele) and Nippy (Crista Flanagan) are two clowns (The Hype Jingleberries) who try to teach people the art of krumping. The two often preface their demonstrations by describing, somewhat menacingly, how krumping helps them control their urges of criminal and violent behavior. Ironically, then, most of their demonstrations involve Nippy taking some sort of physical abuse from Noodles, such as getting shoved or hit in the face, then allaying the audience's concerns for her safety by stating repeatedly, "That's just the krump," while holding back tears.

The Parker Sisters[edit]

Vonda and Wanda Parker (Chris Hogan and Lisa Kushell), two ugly, nerdy sisters who are constantly looking for a good clean lover. They are both waiting to lose their virginity until their wedding days.

Catchphrase:

  • "You ain't gettin' none of this, or none of this, and especially, none of this." - Wanda Parker / Vonda Parker.

Paul Timberman from Paul Timberman's Workshop[edit]

Paul Timberman (played by Will Sasso) is a clumsy and accident-prone, yet friendly handyman/outdoor enthusiast and host of the Paul Timberman's Workshop TV show. Timberman hosted a do-it-yourself Home improvement-type program similar to Bob Vila or New Yankee Workshop. Although seemingly knowledgeable about his projects and the tools he was using, Timberman's klutziness in each episode usually led him into some bloody and gruesome bodily harm, such as sawing off his thumb, chopping his knee with an ax, and even decapitation.

Timberman also endorsed products such as "Santa Jaws" (a Christmas tree-holder designed similarly to a bear trap) or a pair of titanium gloves designed to resist sharp tools such as the jigsaw that could cause injury. Inevitably, Timberman's clumsiness would either cause the product to malfunction, or he would miss an important step, that would cause further injury to him.

Despite his various injuries and near-death occurrences, Timberman would usually return the next episode uninjured and in his usual good spirits.

Prehistoric Glamazon Huntresses, AD[edit]

Prehistoric Glamazon Huntresses, AD is a parody of syndicated action and science fiction television series like Xena, Cleopatra 2525 and Sheena from the late 1990s/early 2000s period, with female characters with superpowers trapped in pre-modern times. Like these shows, Glamazon Huntresses are equipped with revealing outfits, bad props, cheesy dialogue, and terrible acting. In each subsequent sketch, familiar events took place that were consistent with the real shows, i.e. that actors were changed from one episode to the next (The character of Mikayla was played by 3 different actresses), dead characters came back to life from episode to episode (Mikayla died constantly) and every episode ended in exactly the same way (Preparing to battle the 'Giant Red Space Ant'). Like Xena, there was a strong lesbian undertone built into the sketch centering around Mikalya and her 'sister' Takka. Prehistoric Glamazon Huntresses, A.D. is created and produced by Dr. and Mrs. Ira Finkleberg. Debra Wilson as Charme (Alexis Dubane), Stephnie Weir as Rebecca Finkleberg (Zamula Kincaid) and Mo Collins as Cheri Sheldon (Takka). It is implied that Weir's "Huntress" character was cast only because her parents were producers of the program.

Catchphrases:

  • "Hunt-RESSes, ATTACK!"
  • "You are not a scientist from the future, as I am."
  • "Ex-CELLent work, hunt-RESSes!"

Razzle Dazzle[edit]

Razzle Dazzle (Keegan-Michael Key) is a homeless man who is also a motivational speaker. He has a lisp and speaks on behalf of the poor and homeless. He also believes urinating in public is an art, and should be practiced.

Real **********ing Talk[edit]

Real **********ing Talk is a recurring skit on MADtv and a show-within-a-show. It spoofs other forum-style shows such as Hardball with Chris Matthews and Real Time with Bill Maher. However, unlike other talk shows, Real **********ing Talk is known for its excessive use of (censored) foul language. The ten asterisks in the title are heavily implied to represent the word motherfucking, though this is never confirmed due to FCC broadcast restrictions.

The host of Real **********ing Talk is Dollar Bill Montgomery (Aries Spears), who appears in every episode of the show. His personality is sharp, sassy and borderline belligerent. Montgomery's moderating style is a parody of other "sassy" political talking heads like John McLaughlin and Bill O'Reilly. However, unlike them, Montgomery uses foul language to insult his guests, especially the "token white guest" and Woogie Johnson (Tommy Davidson).

The black guests usually appear to be based on many cultural stereotypes (cheesey Apollo comedian, black-power conspiracy theorist, sassy black woman, etc.) and they use ethnic slang to convey their points. However, some of these guests surprise the audience by making very articulate responses to the questions posed to them. Many times, they may be antagonized by Montgomery as much as, if not more than, the token white guest. At least one "token white" guest has appeared in all episodes of Real **********ing Talk. The white guest tends to be well-educated and high-strung, such as conservative political commentators Pat Buchanan or liberal political commentators like Michael Kinsley. One guest who has appeared multiple times was F. Michael McCrosky (Michael McDonald), who inadvertently offended Dollar Bill in every appearance, thus ending the episode due to everyone in that episode wanting to kill him or beat him up.

Real **********ing Talk appeared 14 times during season 7-10.

Reality Check[edit]

Reality Check was a talk show on MADtv's version of BET hosted by Belma Buttons (Aries Spears) and Tovah McQueen (Debra Wilson), two obese black women. The sketches would begin by each of them partaking in food, and saying that it is "so good" that they would inflict physical harm on each other. Then they would introduce a white guest who gets routinely insulted by Belma and Tovah until the guest makes a witty comeback, such as Tom Ridge (Will Sasso) telling "the two of them to get four chairs and sit down." Belma and Tovah would retaliate by first getting excitied like "Tova, do you feel something coming on?" "Oh, Belma, yes I do." Then they would count down from three to one and then take turns berating the guest, then ending the show by telling the guest to "think about what we said" and then say "This is Reality Check and we are through!" after Belma usually would get a craving for food. The only person Belma and Tovah liked was Bill Clinton (Sasso) because he put himself down; like Belma and Tovah themselves insulted people. Belma once lost weight by "The Subway Diet" (eating trash left by people on the subway) and declared her personal trainer to be her new best friend, until going into shock, and then reverting to her gluttonous ways.

Reality Check featured ads for products based on black stereotypes, e.g., Red Kool-Aid, Nike T-max shoes and Red Rooster Hot Sauce. Tovah McQueen and Belma Buttons appeared 14 times during season 5,6,7,8, & 10.

Rusty Miller[edit]

Rusty Miller (Michael McDonald) is a red-headed college student at Cal State-Fullerton. Originally, the skits focused on Rusty's college life and his attempts to fit in with his peers, despite his nerdy behavior and annoying tendencies (such as his penchant for Zima and obnoxious tendency to correct people’s grammar). In later episodes, the character was revamped as the host of a public access television show, "This and That with Rusty", featuring interviews with celebrities such as Drew Barrymore, David Boreanaz, and Mandy Moore. A semi-recurring gag reveals that he has a gargantuan penis (in his words, "Not just in length, but girth too").

Sean the Floor Leader[edit]

Sean Gidcomb (Michael McDonald) is the floor leader of a business, watching over the office. He, for some reason, never leaves his swivel chair unless he falls off while rolling back into his quarters or out of the room.

In one episode, Sean was fired and had been replaced by Shane (Neil Patrick Harris). Sean had trained him for the job, so much that he turned into a clone of Sean himself, swivel chair and all. In the end, Shane reveals that he only acted like Sean to get on his good side.

His catchphrases are "sneaky snake", referring to one of the employees talking about him behind his back, also "and I see ya", spinning and pointing at the person directly behind him. also he threw in a "uh hello" and "Uh, are you sure" in stuttering fashion, mocking the new employee that does not fear him "Beth the back-stabbing beaver" (Nicole Parker).

Sherry the Stripper[edit]

Sherry (Stephnie Weir) is a stripper who can never quite get through her dances without seeming unattractive or hurting herself. No matter what she does wrong she always insists on dancing even though the guys insist that they feel empathy in some way. As a gag sometimes her hair will fall off her head implying that it's a wig.

The Silver Fox[edit]

Isadore Kruskal (Michael McDonald), an elderly and forgetful man who hosts a television show called The Silver Fox, which is filmed in his home at Boca Grove Condos. He has also appeared on 7am Condo Report, and has a romantic history with fellow Boca Grove resident, Muriel Westig. Ike Barinholtz plays Duncan, Isadore's drug addicted nephew who lives with him.

Kruskal appeared 5 times during seasons 10-12.

Snapshot Stories[edit]

Snapshot Stories were short, childlike narrations accompanied by still moving pictures, that usually are more gruesome than the narrations imply. Cast members would narrate their own stories that start out simple and end in violence while the narration remains naïve, forcing the viewer to watch the skit in order to understand the jokes.

Spishak[edit]

Spishak was a fictional company that created different products that appeared in MADtv sketches. It spoofed television mail-order companies such as Ronco. Many of the commercials are of poor quality, with the actors looking at the camera rather than at one another; and the products are pointless. The Spishak Spokesman was played by David Herman, Pat Kilbane, and Josh Meyers. He would often enter a commercial by saying "Well, now there is", even when the previous line of dialogue did not call for that response.

Spy vs Spy[edit]

Short animations of the Spy vs Spy comic were produced for the show. It ran from 1994 until 1998 which is the previous one that released in Game Boy since 1991 until 1993. It was succeeded by Game Boy Color from 1999 and 2000. It was only used in MADtv season 1-3, because in Season 4 & 5 the game had been released which MADtv no longer appeared in the game.

Stan McNer the Java Man[edit]

Stan McNer (Pat Kilbane) is a man who has bulging eyes and is addicted to caffeine, and thus highly valuing his job at a local coffee shop. however, after losing his job he goes on a tour at the Doldgers plant (Folgers knock off). Stan just narrowly survived the tour sans-coffee to prove he "didn't need the bean" but falls off the wagon so fast and makes a hilarious scene involving many pots of different coffee, a giant coffee machine, him licking coffee off the floor, surviving a stun-gun and him ultimately getting banished with the aid of de-caf. His only recourse was to meet up with the big wigs of the Doldgers company, and make his own blend of coffee, "Stans own". (he drinks so much coffee so even when he pees it out it is pure, rich and robust).

Stick Chicks[edit]

A parody of Charlie's Angels; Champagne (Nicole Sullivan), Autumn (Debra Wilson), and Echo (Alex Borstein) are international crimefighters who hide their identities by working in a shopping mall food court selling Wiener on a Stick, hence their nickname.

A recurring gag would include the Chicks having to employ complicated gymnastics and fighting moves, usually with Champagne and Autumn dramatically flying over the counter of the hot dog stand into action, and Echo, due to her larger size, slowly following behind in a failed attempt at being agile.

Stuart Larkin[edit]

Stuart Douglas Larkin [originally named "Scott"] (Michael McDonald) is a little boy with a constantly dazed and vacant look on his face. His wacky, borderline alcoholic, thick Wisconsin-accented mother Doreen (Mo Collins), nags, scolds, and screams at him for getting into mischief. One of her tag-phrases is "What does Momma say about ____, Stuart? What does Momma say?!" An example includes: "What does Momma say about little boys who talk dirty?" in which Stuart responds "Little boys who talk dirty grow up to be Democrats."

Stuart is often seen eating different junk foods, and when his mother inquires about them, he simply replies that he found them on the floor, then shoves them in his mouth before Doreen can stop him. Even though Stuart appears very antisocial and naïve about the world it was mentioned in some episodes (such as "Stuart Takes Piano Lessons") that he is a genius. This was further shown when he had shown exceptional piano talent on only his second lesson.

Stuart's childhood traumas, such as his father, Frank, leaving the family, are often mentioned. No matter when the sketch takes place, Stuart's father has always left the previous Tuesday, after meeting an Asian woman through the internet. In one sketch, Stuart claims that all his father does during his visits is say "Oh, baby. Yeah, baby" to Asian women on the telephone.

When people (aside from his mother) try to touch him, he whines with "Dooooon't" and he tends to kick anyone who he does not want near him; he lies on the floor and uses his long legs to keep them away from him, sometimes using a violent kick.

Stuart occasionally calls his genital area his "danger zone", or calls his penis his "googoo". When pushed too far, his boyish falsetto is replaced by a deep, demonic voice; this voice is used when Stuart enters his "dark place", a glimpse into Stuart's inner turmoil.

When people become sufficiently annoyed by Stuart, he will often try to distract them by saying, "Look what I can do!" and performing a strange spasmodic dance. He also will often take his pants off for no discernible reason.

Several skits showed Stuart annoying his obese next-door neighbor, Harvey Muckenthaler (Paul Vogt), who apparently cannot stand him; but Doreen continuously flirts with Harvey.

Catchphrases:

  • "Look what I can do!"
  • "Let me do it!"
  • "Dooooon't!"
  • "I don't wanna say!"
  • "I'm not hissing" (he hisses while saying this)

Since Collins left the show, Stuart had appeared in only one sketch per season.

Stuart appeared 36 times during the run of MADtv. He was in seasons 4-12.

Doreen appeared 31 times during the run of MADtv. She was in season 4-10. Collins returned for the series finale and recorded the voice of Doreen during a montage of Stuart.

Superstitious Knights[edit]

Carl Hall (Keegan-Michael Key) and Ty Gray (Jordan Peele) are extremely superstitious and trained in recognizing traditional bad-luck omens. When an accident occurs because of (or indicating) bad luck, they try to break the curse by performing lengthy, choreographed dance routines, with the phrase "Man Up", "Man Up". In one episode, they appeared on "Deal or No Deal", annoying Howie (played by Michael McDonald), tried to talk to the Banker, and even though very close, they lost the chance to win a $1 million, but were happy to leave with $400.

Miss Sylvia[edit]

Miss Sylvia (Debra Wilson) is an elderly woman with a thick southern accent who is a medical professional(she once played a school nurse and a pharmacist). She is very caring and always ready to offer help. Her helpfulness has her reveal the often embarrassing illnesses about people, almost all of them are STDs. she appeared in two skits, once as a school nurse educating the students about STDs revealing the medical records of students out loud and second as a pharmacist where she read out prescriptions of medicines loudly which included crabs, vaginal dryness, scrotal acne and explosive diarrhea.

Taedo-Attitudes and Feelings, Both Desirable and Sometimes Secretive[edit]

This Korean soap opera parody centers around the adventures of Dr. Poon Ji-Sum (Bobby Lee). He is in love with Ms. Long Bong (Cathy Shim), and has many run-ins with President Gin Kew Yun Chun Yew Nee (Sung Kang) as they fight for her affections. At the end of each episode, a shocking twist is revealed. A running gag is that sometimes what appears to be a short phrase spoken by the cast appears to have an extremely long translation (the entire sketch is done with subtitles), or vice versa. A notable sketch guest stars Edge as Dr. Cornell Overstreet of the Ontario Overstreets, who is described as "not a Korean man, but a vengeful Canadian."

Tank[edit]

Tank (Bobby Lee) is an Asian-American "Street Tuner" character in the style of the film The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. Tank drives a tricked-out Daewoo Lanos (with the registration "PASSONU") and has his brother sit in the back of his car making it bounce, play music and turn on underglow lights when he shouts commands. When his brother complains about the conditions inside the trunk, Tank will slam it down on him again. Bouncers will not admit Tank into nightclubs, so he tries to pick up girls outside the clubs and impress them with his car. When he sees a girl he does not find attractive, he replies with "PAY-ass!" or "Pass!" When he finds an attractive one, he would invite them into his "Dae-WWOOOO!" and switch it "from duty mode to Booty MODE!" Tank shows off for girls by sliding across the hood of his Daewoo, but he typically falls hard to the ground (and Lee often exhibits what appear to be rib or elbow pain as a result). One installment of the sketch takes place entirely on the inside of an arcade, so the car doesn't make an appearance. Instead, Tank slides across an air hockey table on his stomach, in the same way that he tries to slide across the car's hood in other shows.

Trina Moss[edit]

Trina Moss (Mo Collins) is a blonde haired woman who has fears of many things. She has had many unfortunate situations that have happened to her (like getting a boil on her butt, having a hairy moss-like patch grow on her shoulder, a skin graft from a corpse-containing the nipple of the corpse-on her head, and even being sodomized by a horse as a child then being put in a body cast). Although she has these unlucky situations she always stays happy about her life. Trina finds a man that likes her, and is even as unlucky as her. She explains to him in one sketch that she has never been in her room alone with a boy since she gave her uncle a sponge-bath when she was a child.

She also became the assistant manager of an IHOP. She mentions in many sketches that she cannot bear children. She always rubs her nose when she gets upset. She makes a "ra-ra-ra-ra-ra!" or just "Ara" when she is excited. She vomits when she feels nervous. She nearly marries her boyfriend, only to find out at the wedding that he is her twin brother and both their parents are black.

Trina appeared 11 times during seasons 4-9.

The Vancome Lady[edit]

Kathleen "Kathy" Wajonowski (Nicole Sullivan), better known as "The Vancome Lady", is a self-absorbed, despicable, mean, cynical, bigoted, rude woman with a gaudy appearance (even though the character did not originally have extreme make-up, hair, or clothes).

The Vancome Lady is the very first MADtv recurring character, appearing twice in the show's first episode, and was Sullivan's most popular character. She takes her name from Lancôme cosmetics and the fact that she once worked at a make-up counter in a fashionable department store. She also crushingly insults every character she comes into contact with, her insults often resembling the jokes of insult comics in the tradition of Don Rickles or Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

She moves frequently, and has a different job in each sketch, because she alienates everyone around her. When being fired, she thanks her male employer for "letting me sleep with you" and exits, leaving her ashamed boss behind. In one skit, the Vancome Lady does not have any notable job, instead being a rude neighbor handing out candy to trick-or-treaters, insulting them and their parents until being run out of town by an angry mob just like in the previous towns that she lived in.

Her catchphrases are "Tcha... you know what? Uh-uh!" (in one sketch, the Vancome Lady was even a host of a game show called "Tcha, Ya Know What?"), "La la la..." and "Christmas on a cracker".

In one skit, she trades insults with Marvin Tikvah, until they find out that they both enjoy hurting people. Marvin offers the Vancome Lady an ideal place to work: Fox. While in another sketch, titled "Planet of the Vancome Ladies" (a parody of Planet of the Apes), the Vancome Lady reappears, revealing that she has been in suspended animation, and her sketches have gained cult-like status due to her being still alive and popularity by the future civilization long after the cancellation of MADtv.

Trivia
  • The Vancome Lady appeared in seasons 1-6 and 9, and appeared 25 times during the run of MADtv.

Some of the professions she has appeared in are:

  • Make up counter salesgirl (two separate sketches)
  • Casino waitress (the only time she was not fired by her boss, on the condition that she still has to sleep with him)
  • Press reporter
  • Receptionist at a hospital
  • Receptionist at the Betty Ford Center
  • A hospital patient
  • Rescue operations personnel (she doesn't get fired but simply walks away)
  • A Girl Scouts troop leader (this sketch was deployed as a mock blooper reel)
  • The "Christmas Fairy" talking to Adam Sandler
  • Host at the Oscars opening
  • Actress playing mary in a local play
  • Bank clerk
  • School guidance counselor
  • Game show host
  • A homeowner confronting children and their parents on halloween night
  • A hot dog salesgirl during a football match
  • Opening the show with members of the band KISS
  • A bachelorette
  • God on the planet of the Vancome ladies
  • A rapper in the ghetto

X News[edit]

X News was a short-lived sketch meant to satirize "edgy" teen news programs like MTV News; it hosted by Marsh (David Herman) and Amy (Nicole Sullivan). They presented news with a stereotypical teen attitude; Amy later stylized her name to "Ah-mee", much to the joy of Marsh, who stylizes his name as Mersha to mock her. Ah-mee stresses her rebellious nature, although hints have been dropped that she's actually from an upper-middle-class family (her parents bought her a car and paid her college tuition), while Marsh takes every opportunity present to insult her. Marsh almost constantly seems to confuse "the Man" (an Establishment figure) with "Batman", and has latent racist tendencies (he once said cops treat him like he's black because he steals stuff).

X News appeared on MADtv during seasons 1 and 2, and had a total of 5 appearances on the show.

Yvoone Criddle[edit]

Yvoone Criddle (Daniele Gaither) is a woman who responds to mild perceived slights by planning extreme acts of revenge. She has affirmed that she is a "terrible" and "evil" person. Her demeanor typically consists of calm repetition of the facts of the situation that led to her actions, which she always acknowledges without contest. In particular, she frequently comes back to the specific details that she thinks justify her actions. She wears elaborately decorated shirts that depict flowers.

Yvoone Criddle appeared in seasons 10 and 11, once in each season. In episode 1010, she sued her neighbor, Elinor Sorg, for $10,000 in The People's Court after Sorg's leaves blew onto her lawn--even though Sorg had immediately raked the leaves back up and apologized. After Judge Marilyn Milian learned that Criddle had subsequently lied to Social Services and caused Sorg to lose custody of her children, she dismissed Criddle's case and awarded Sorg $10,000 instead. In episode 1117, after a man parked in a space that Criddle desired, she tried to murder him and his children by running their car over a cliff. In addition, she had been out that day to buy a shovel with which to kill a neighbor's dogs after the neighbor's sprinklers sprayed water on her car. She was arrested after fully describing these actions to a police officer.

Susan Whitfield[edit]

Susan Whitfield (Lisa Kushell) is an unlucky and ugly teenage girl who desperately seeks to divert attention to herself, through telling people about her tragic histories and situations. She is very lonely because she has no friends and defines herself as someone special which does not care what others say about her. Each episode in where she appeared, ends abruptly when, by a particular situation, people who are with her end up leaving the place, leaving her alone and in darkness.

She has the distinction of speaking with a tone in which it seems as if everything she says it is as a question?

References[edit]