My Old Man (Said Follow the Van)
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The song, although humorous, also reflects some of the hardships of working class life in London at the beginning of the 20th century. It joined a music hall tradition of dealing with life in a determinedly upbeat fashion. In the song a couple are obliged to move house, after dark, because they cannot pay their rent. At the time the song was written, most London houses were rented, so moving in a hurry – a moonlight flit – was common when the husband lost his job or there was insufficient money to pay the rent.
The couple rush to fill up the van, and its tailboard, with their possessions, in case the landlord appears. When the van is packed up, however, there is no room left for the wife. The husband therefore instructs her to follow the van, which she does, carrying the pet bird. Unfortunately, en route, the wife loses her way after stopping at a pub for a drink. Thereafter, she reflects that it would be ill-advised to approach one of the volunteer policemen (a "special"), as they are less trustworthy than a regular police constable (a "copper") and might take advantage of her inebriation.
The chorus of the song is well-known.
- My old man said "Foller the van,
- And don't dilly dally on the way".
- Off went the van wiv me 'ome packed in it,
- I followed on wiv me old cock linnet.
- But I dillied and dallied, dallied and I dillied
- Lost me way and don't know where to roam.
- Well you can't trust a special like the old time coppers
- When you can't find your way 'ome.
An alternative to the last two lines is:
- Who'll put you up when you've lost your bedstead,
- And you can't find your way 'ome?"
Another alternative to the last two lines is
- I stopped on the way to have me old half quarten, now I can't find my way home.
Another alternative is
- "Well you can't trust a man when your life's in a van an' you can't find your way 'ome."
Another alternative is
- I had to stop to have a drop of tiddly in the pub
- Now I can't find my way home.
- Stopped off to have one at the old Red Tavern
- And I can't find my way home.
Various lineups of the Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem have performed the refrain as part of a medley, immediately following "They're Moving Father's Grave to Build a Sewer," which also deals with the travails of working class Londoners. Danny La Rue often sang it in performances.
In popular culture
- In The Catherine Tate Show, during the "Life at Ma's" sketch (a spoof of Life on Mars), the last four lines are sung by Catherine Tate and a variety of other characters.
- The song also appeared in the Only Fools And Horses episode "Home Sick", being sung by Del Boy and Grandad.
- The first verse and the chorus were featured in Episode 211 of The Muppet Show, performed by Miss Piggy. In the Muppet fan community the song is better known as "Don't Dilly Dally On the Way".
- It is sung in the 1943 black and white romantic film comedy The Gentle Sex.
- In 1970, Cardinal Fang (Terry Gilliam) briefly began to recite the tune under his breath after citing charges of heresy against the Holy Church, but was subsequently cut off by Cardinal Ximénez (Michael Palin) before completing the first line. This was part of the famous Spanish Inquisition Sketch from the Monty Python comedy troupe. Palin, Jones, and Gilliam would burst into the room whenever someone uttered a form of the trigger phrase, "I didn't expect a Spanish Inquisition."
- It opens Steven Berkoff's 1975 play East.
- In the 1985 EastEnders Sing-Along, it is sung by the cast with Gillian Taylforth singing the intro.
Notes and references
-  "The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations" by Elizabeth M. Knowle, 1999
- The singer's father or husband
- To dilly dally is to linger
- Caged song birds were very popular in Victorian and Edwardian England, and the male, or cock, linnet was common. Cock linnet is also Cockney rhyming slang for minute
- My Old Man, lyrics accessed 21 Jan 2007
- "Half quarten" was a slang expression for a measure of spirits (usually gin) and was equal to 2½ Imperial ounces.
- "The Spanish Inquisition". Python (Monty) Pictures Ltd. MontyPython.net. 22 September 1970. Retrieved 24 July 2012.