PAIRS Foundation

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The PAIRS Foundation, Inc.
PAIRS Foundation logo.jpg
Type Non-Profit Organization
Tax ID No. 52-1327867
Founded 1983
Headquarters 200 S. Park Road, Suite 455, Hollywood, FL 33021
Mission "The Mission of PAIRS is to teach those attitudes, emotional understandings and behaviors that nurture and sustain healthy relationships and to make this knowledge broadly available on behalf of a safer, saner, more loving world."
Employees 10+
Website http://www.pairs.com

The PAIRS Foundation, Inc. is a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) corporation based in Broward County, Florida. The company was originally established in Virginia as PAIRS, Ltd. in 1983 and as The PAIRS Foundation, Inc. in Florida in 2000. In 2010, PAIRS, Ltd. formally merged into The PAIRS Foundation, Inc.[1]

PAIRS Foundation owns copyrights[2][3] to marriage and relationship education programs that are taught by instructors worldwide who are trained, certified and licensed by the foundation[4] and the trademark "skills for successful relationships".[3]

Contents

Mission [edit]

PAIRS Foundation's mission is to "teach those attitudes, emotional understandings, and behaviors that nurture and sustain healthy relationships and to make this knowledge broadly available on behalf of a safer, saner, more loving world."[5]

History [edit]

Supporting healthy marriage: Couple learns relationship skills during PAIRS weekend retreat.
After deployment: Couple practices confiding exercise in PAIRS class as young daughter child watches.
Seniors: Older couple learn new skills for confiding and problem-solving in PAIRS class.
Inner-city youth: Students at Miami elementary school learn to understand and safely express emotions in PAIRS class.
Military families: Chaplain and spouse train participants in PAIRS class for military families.

The PAIRS 120-hour semester course, initially developed in 1975 by Marriage and Family Therapist Lori Heyman Gordon as a graduate program for counseling students at American University in Washington, D.C., was one of the first comprehensive educational programs in the United States that sought to reduce marriage and family breakdown through Relationship Education.[6] Gordon developed the concept of skills training for relationships that evolved into the range of PAIRS programs out of the recognition that one of the most important contributions psychologists, therapists, counselors and educators could make to children was to help their own parents’ relationships. The course integrated, adapted and wove together work by pathfinders such as Virginia Satir, Daniel Casriel, Murray Bowen, James Framo, George Bach, Gordon and others.[7]

Gordon, like Martin Buber, is a descendant of the prominent 16th century rabbi, Meir Katzenellenbogen, known as the Maharam of Padua.[8] In 1999, she wrote about the connection between PAIRS' approach to relationship education and Buber's I-Thou philosophy.

"One of the goals of PAIRS is to encourage couples’ personal experience of an I-Thou mutuality. Experiential family therapists such as Virginia Satir believed that existential encounters in which people become present to each other often result in a transformation in how they relate to one another. The healing potential of relationships is released in the I-Thou encounter. Growth can then take place through the dialogical process. This process is taught in PAIRS through talking and listening skills, as well as through techniques of bonding, emotional openness and emotional expression. Partners can then become empathic witnesses to each others wounds and early unmet needs."[9]

— Lori Heyman Gordon, Preventive Approaches in Couples Therapy

A 1982 Washington Post article featured PAIRS as a new alterative to traditional Family Therapy.[10]

Between 1992 and 1997, Carlos Durana, Ph.D., conducted early studies on the impact of PAIRS, many of which were published in industry journals. During that period, articles about PAIRS appeared in Newsweek, Time, Cosmopolitan, Ladies Home Journal and Psychology Today among others. Gordon was also featured in interviews on CNN, NBC's Today Show, Geraldo, The Gordon Elliot Show, and CBN.[11]

PAIRS Foundation began piloting intensive couples seminars, ranging from one to four days, in the late nineties. A December 1998 New Woman magazine cover story featured the first-person account of Molly and Chris Hanson.[12]

On May 9, 2000, PAIRS CEO Seth Eisenberg was a guest on ABC's Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher to discuss Florida's Marriage Preparation and Preservation Act, mandating relationship skills training in high schools and for couples applying for marriage licenses. Other guests were Dennis Prager (replaced Jay Mohr), Shelley Long, and Kathy Mattea.[13]

In 2002, Gordon was recognized with the Impact Award of the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education: "In appreciation of your intrepid pioneering work in creating the PAIRS program and for your visionary leadership in blazing a path for so many to follow."[14]

PAIRS was awarded a $5 million federal grant in 2006 by the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, to provide classes and conduct a five-year evaluation of the program's impact among English, Spanish and French/Creole-speaking couples and singles in Florida's Miami-Dade, Broward and Palm Beach counties.[15]

In November 2010, PAIRS was featured in a Time magazine cover story by Belinda Luscombe, "Who Needs Marriage?"[16] Another Time Magazine story that month featured a PAIRS iPhone App and questioned, "Can an iPhone App Save Your Marriage?"[17]

In October 2012, the United States Department of Veterans Affairs Veterans Health Administration featured PAIRS in an article about helping Veterans strengthen "their most significant relationships":

"The Department of Veterans Affairs is trying a new path to caring for and healing the nation’s wounded Veterans. Now, in addition to repairing their damaged bodies and minds, VA is going one step further and helping to repair their crumbling intimate relationships."[18]

Also in October 2012, PAIRS Foundation's collaboration with the San Diego VA Healthcare System was recognized with the "Spirit of Planetree Award" for the program's impact strengthening relationships between "family, friends and social supports as a central component of patient-centered care."[19][20]

In a joint effort with the Department of Veterans Affairs Patient-Centered Care and Cultural Transformation Initiative, PAIRS Foundation published the PAIRS Essentials VA Program Support Guide in January 2013.[21]

Operation Sacred Trust [edit]

In September 2011, PAIRS Foundation's Operation Sacred Trust initiative, launched in collaboration with Carrfour Supportive Housing, Henderson Behavioral Health, and Neighborhood Housing Services of South Florida, was awarded a $1 million grant from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Supportive Services for Veteran Families ("SSVF"), to help end homelessness for Veteran families in Broward and Miami-Dade counties. An additional $1 million SSVF grant was awarded in September 2012.[22] Two November 11, 2012 articles featured Operation Sacred Trust as a new model for ending homelessness for veterans.[23][24] On November 12, 2012, a CBS News story featured Operation Sacred Trust.[25]

Curricula examples [edit]

PAIRS Essentials is a nine-hour curriculum delivered in a group setting, with a PAIRS Instructor, often over a Friday evening, Saturday and Sunday, or in several weekly class sessions. "A deliberate sequence of experiential exercises provides safety for vulnerability, personal growth, and self-discovery and gradually expands the participants’ ability to confide and listen with empathy, resulting in new ways and new perspectives from which to relate. Dialogue develops into thoughtful inquiries and discovery of 'ways of being' that may have been unconscious. Those 'ways of being' are highlighted for their potential to limit confiding, connection, understanding and empathy, which are the foundations for healing and growth within intimate relationships. Participants are guided to integrate new skills with 'conscious competence.' New possibilities for closeness, problem-solving, and love emerge. Throughout the process, participants are encouraged to recognize that they can choose behaviors that greatly determine the joy, pleasure and happiness they experience in relationships, a recognition woven within each aspect of the workshop."[26]

PAIRS For Our Future, For Our Family is a 30-hour curriculum designed to "help couples deepen intimacy on a foundation of emotional literacy, including skills for recognizing, navigating, and expressing a range of emotions; enhancing interpersonal communication; and constructively addressing differences and conflicts on behalf of a shared relationship vision. The curriculum helps each spouse know and nurture oneself and one’s partner, enjoy differences rather than see them as a threat, and learn to create a relationship that is an ongoing source of pleasure for both partners. FOF emphasizes bonding (emotional openness and physical closeness) in the relationship as a central theme.”[27]

PAIRS Mastery Course is a 120-hour, semester-long curriculum delivered over four to seven months. "The curriculum covers communication, conflict resolution, anger release, life script decisions, sensuality & sexuality, and clarification of expectations and goal setting ... time-proven program teaches the specific knowledge and skills needed to create and sustain a happy, passionate, lasting marriage."[28]

Studies [edit]

SHM Implementation Data
SHM Implementation Data
SHM Implementation Data
SHM Implementation Data
SHM Implementation Data
  • A 1994 article in the Journal of Family Psychotherapy evaluated the impact of PAIRS use of "bonding and emotional expressiveness." [29]
  • A 1995 article in the Journal of Couples Therapy explored the "effect change in couple relationships using a skill building psycho-educational group format."[30]
  • In 1996, Family Therapy published "A Longitudinal Evaluation of the Effectiveness of PAIRS Psychoeducational Program for Couples." [31]
  • Also in 1996, the American Journal of Family Therapy published studies on "bonding and emotional reeducation of couples in PAIRS training."[32]
  • In 1997, The Family Journal published "Enhancing Marital Intimacy through Psychoeducation."[33]
  • In 1999, PAIRS was featured as a model of an "integrated psychoeducational approach" to preventing marital breakdown.[34]
  • In 2011, the "Relationship Education Impact Reports," a comprehensive investigation of a five-year federally funded marriage and relationship education demonstration and research project by Peluso, Eisenberg and Schindler for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families.[35][36]
  • A 2012 MDRC study evaluated the impact of four educational programs, including PAIRS, on the relationships of low-income couples.[37]

Services [edit]

  • PAIRS Foundation provides certification training to behavioral health professionals, clergy, and others to teach PAIRS classes.[38][39]
  • PAIRS LIcensed instructors offer classes throughout the United States and in several international locations.[40][41]
  • The Foundation also provides direct services to Veterans in South Florida through Operation Sacred Trust,[42] an initiative funded by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs Supportive Services for Veteran Families Program.[43]

References [edit]

  1. ^ Florida Department of State
  2. ^ [1] U.S. Copyright Office.
  3. ^ a b [2] U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.
  4. ^ [3] PAIRS Instructors. From PAIRS website.
  5. ^ [4] - PAIRS Mission. From PAIRS website.
  6. ^ Gordon, Lori Heyman. "Passage to Intimacy", Fireside Books, 1993.
  7. ^ DeMaria, Rita. "Building Intimate Relationships", "The Saga of PAIRS." Routledge, December 2002.
  8. ^ Rosenstein, Neil. "The Unbroken Chain," C.I.S. Publishers, The Computer Center for Jewish Genealogy, Elizabeth, NJ, 1990. ISBN 0-9610578-4-X.
  9. ^ Gordon, Lori Heyman; Turner, Lynn. "The PAIRS Program," Preventive Approaches in Couples Therapy, Taylor & Francis, Philadelphia, PA, 1999. ISBN 0-87630-876-0.
  10. ^ McNees, Pat. "Can This Marriage Be Saved," Washington Post, November 29, 1982. [5]
  11. ^ Gordon, Lori Heyman. "If You Really Loved Me", Science and Behavior, Palo Alto (1997).
  12. ^ Hanson, Molly. "PAIRS Marriage Makeover," New Woman Magazine, December 1998 [6]
  13. ^ [7] - TV Guide, Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher.
  14. ^ [8] - PAIRS History. From PAIRS website.
  15. ^ Falciglia, Amanda. "Study offers hope for marriages, families, and jobs," FatherhoodChannel.com, April 14, 2010 [9]
  16. ^ Luscombe, Belinda. "Who Needs Marriage," Time Magazine, November 18, 2010 [10]
  17. ^ Luscombe, Belinda. "Can an iPhone App Save Your Marriage," Time Magazine, November 1, 2010 [11]
  18. ^ Peterson, Hans. "Relationship Retreats: From Warriors to Soul Mates," Veterans Health Administration, October 18, 2012. [12]
  19. ^ Henthorn, Robert. "PAIRS Collaboration with VA Recognized with Prestigious 2012 Spirit of Planetree Award," FatherhoodChannel.com, October 4, 2012.[13]
  20. ^ "2012 Planetree Program Awards, Human Interactions/Independence, Dignity and Choice."[14]
  21. ^ PAIRS Essentials VA Program Support Guide, January 2013
  22. ^ [15] U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Supportive Services for Veteran Families website.
  23. ^ Lilly, Christiana (11 November 2012). "Operation Sacred Trust Combats Veteran Homelessness In South Florida With $1 Million Grant ‏". Huffington Post. 
  24. ^ Berman-Eisenberg, Stephanie (11 November 2012). "A step forward for homeless vets". Miami Herald. 
  25. ^ Newland, Maggie (12 November 2012). "Miami Man Turns Life Around, Gives Back to Fellow Veterans". CBS Miami. 
  26. ^ [16] PAIRS Essentials Overview. From PAIRS website.
  27. ^ Henthorn, Robert. "National Study Shows Strong Consumer Satisfaction with Marriage and Relationship Education Classes," Fatherhood Channel, October 17, 2012. [17]
  28. ^ [18] PAIRS Classes for Couples, PAIRS Virginia website.
  29. ^ Durana, Carlos. "The Use of Bonding and Emotional Expressiveness in the PAIRS Training: A Psychoeducational Approach for couples," (1994). Journal of Family Psychotherapy, Vol. 5(2).
  30. ^ Turner, Lynn and Gordon, Lori. "PAIRS: An Integrative Approach to Intimate Relationship Change Through a Psychoeducational Program," Journal of Couples Therapy, Vol. 5, Iss. 1-2, 1995 [19]
  31. ^ Durana, Carlos. "A Longitudinal Evaluation of the Effectiveness of the PAIRS Psychoeducational Program for Couples" (1996). Family Therapy. Vol. 23 (1).
  32. ^ Durana, Carlos. "Bonding and Emotional Reeducation of Couples in the P.A.I.R.S. Training: Part I and Part II" (1996). American Journal of Family Therapy.
  33. ^ Durana, Carlos. "Enhancing Marital Intimacy through Psychoeducation" (1997). The Family Journal, Vol. 5(3).
  34. ^ Durana, Carlos. "Integrated Psychoeducational Approach," (1999) The Intimate Couple.
  35. ^ Peluso, Paul; Eisenberg Seth; Schindler, Rachel. "Relationship Education Impact Reports," PAIRS Foundation for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, September 2011.[20]
  36. ^ Relationship Education Impact Reports, PAIRS Foundation for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, September 2011.[21]
  37. ^ Knox, Virginia, et al. "The Supporting Healthy Marriage Evaluation: Early Impacts on Low-Income Families," MDRC, New York, NY, March, 2012 [22]
  38. ^ [23] - PAIRS Training. From PAIRS website.
  39. ^ PAIRS Level One Training Overview
  40. ^ [24] - PAIRS Classes. From PAIRS website.
  41. ^ PAIRS Essentials Curriculum Overview
  42. ^ [25] - Operation Sacred Trust website.
  43. ^ Henthorn, Robert. "Initiative Aims to End Homelessness for Veteran Families". FatherhoodChannel.com, August 4, 2011. [26]

External links [edit]

Further reading [edit]

  • Casriel, Daniel (1976). A Scream Away from Happiness. New York: Grosset & Dunlap. ASIN B003A1JRCI. 
  • DeMaria, Rita (2002). Building Intimate Relationships. New York: Routledge. ISBN 978-1583910764. 
  • Eisenberg, Seth; PAIRS Foundation (2012). Creating We Couples. Florida: PAIRS Foundation. p. 56. ISBN 978-0-9854278-0-1. 
  • Eisenberg, Seth; PAIRS Foundation (2007). PAIRS Essentials. Florida: PAIRS Foundation. p. 72. ISBN 0985427817. 
  • Gordon, Lori (1997). If You Really Loved Me. Palo Alto: Science and Behavior Books. ISBN 0831400862. 
  • Gordon, Lori (1993). Passage to Intimacy. New York: Fireside Books. ISBN 0671795961. 
  • Satir, Virginia (1988). The New Peoplemaking. Palo Alto, CA: Science and Behavior Books. ISBN 0-8314-0070-6. 
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