Premarital sex

Premarital sex is sexual activity practised by persons who are unmarried. Historically it has been considered taboo in some cultures and religions.

In some cultures, the significance of premarital sex has traditionally been related to the concept of virginity. However, unlike virginity, premarital sex can refer to more than one occasion of sexual activity or more than one sex partner. There are cultural differences as to whether and in which circumstances premarital sex is socially acceptable or tolerated. Social attitudes to premarital sex have changed over time as has the prevalence of premarital sex in various societies. Social attitudes to premarital sex can include issues such as virginity, sexual morality, extramarital unplanned pregnancy, legitimacy besides other issues.

Premarital sex may take place in a number of situations. For example, it may take place as casual sex, for example, with at least one participant seeking to experience sex; it may take place between a couple living together in a long-term relationship without marriage; for a betrothed couple engaging in sexual activity before their anticipated marriage; and many other situations are possible.

Definition

Until the 1950s, the term "premarital sex" referred to sexual relations between two people prior to marrying each other. During that period, Western societies expected that men and women marry by the age of 21 or 22; as such, there were no considerations that one who had sex would not marry. The term was used instead of fornication, due to the negative connotations of the latter.

The meaning has since shifted, referring to all sexual relations a person has prior to marriage; this removes emphasis on who the relations are with. The definition has a degree of ambiguity. It is not clear whether sex between individuals legally forbidden from marrying, or the sexual relations of one uninterested in marrying, could be considered premarital.

Alternative terms for pre-marital sex have been suggested, including non-marital sex (which overlaps with adultery), youthful sex, adolescent sex, and young-adult sex. These terms also suffer from a degree of ambiguity, as the definition of having sex differs from person to person.

Cultural views

Britain

Prior to the Marriage Act 1753, British couples could live together and have sex after their betrothal or "the spousals". Until the mid-1700s, it was normal and acceptable for the bride to be pregnant at the nuptials, the later church public ceremony for the marriage. With the Act in force, for the first time in British history, all marriages in England and Wales had to take place in their parish church. (The law also applied to Catholics, but Jews and Quakers were exempt.) The Act combined the spousals and nuptials and, by the start of the 19th century, social convention prescribed that brides be virgins at marriage. Illegitimacy became more socially discouraged, with first pregnancies outside of marriage declining from 40% to 20% during the Victorian era but returning to 40% by the start of the 21st century.

The 1984 Anglican booklet Foreward to Marriage was also tolerant of premarital sex but strongly endorsed marriage as "a necessary commitment for a long-term relationship".

The Archbishop of York, John Sentamu, commenting on Prince William and Kate Middleton's decision to live together before their wedding, said that the royal couple's public commitment to live their lives together today would be more important than their past. Sentamu said that he had conducted wedding services for “many cohabiting couples” during his time as a vicar in south London and that "We are living at a time where some people, as my daughter used to say, want to test whether the milk is good before they buy the cow".

He also said, "For some people, that’s where their journeys are. But what is important, actually, is not to simply look at the past because they are going to be standing in the Abbey taking these wonderful vows: "for better for worse; for richer for poorer; in sickness and in health; till death us do part"."

United States

During the colonial period, premarital sex was publicly frowned upon but privately condoned to an extent. Unmarried teenagers were often allowed to spend the night in bed together, though some measures such as bundling were sometimes attempted to prevent sexual intercourse. Even though premarital sex was somewhat condoned, having a child outside of wedlock was not. If a pregnancy resulted from premarital sex, the young couple were expected to marry. Marriage and birth records from the late 1700s reveal that between 30 to 40 percent of New England brides were pregnant before marriage.

Historically, at least a significant portion of people have engaged in premarital sex, although the number willing to admit to having done so was not always high. In a study conducted in the United States, 61 percent of men and 12 percent of women born prior to 1910 admitted to having premarital sex; the gender disparity may have been caused by cultural norms regarding the admission of sexual activity or by men frequenting prostitutes.

Starting in the 1920s, and especially after World War II, premarital sex became more common; this was especially prevalent among women. By the end of the 20th century, between 75 and 80 percent of Americans had vaginal intercourse before the age of 19. This has been attributed to numerous causes, including the increasing median age at marriage and the widespread availability of efficient contraceptives.

The growing popularity of the automobile and corresponding changes in dating practices also caused premarital sex to become more prevalent. Alfred Kinsey found that American women who became sexually mature during the 1920s were much less likely to be virgins at marriage than those who became mature before World War I. A majority of women during the 1920s under the age of 30 were nonetheless virgins at marriage, however; and, half of those who were not virgins only had sex with their fiancees. A 1938 survey of American college students found that 52% of men and 24% of women had had sex. 37% of women were virgins but believed sex outside marriage was acceptable. Prior to the middle of the 20th century, sexuality was generally restricted. Sexual interactions between people without plans to marry was considered unacceptable, with betrothal slightly lessening the stigma. However, premarital sex was still frowned upon.

Beginning in the 1950s, the stigma attached to pre-marital sex diminished. Love began to become enough for a reason to practice sex, instead of marriage or engagement. By 2000, roughly a third of couples in the United States had lived together prior to marriage. Premarital sex has become, if not acceptable, tolerable.

In a 2005 Kaiser Family Foundation study of US teenagers, 29% of teens reported feeling pressure to have sex, 33% of sexually active teens reported "being in a relationship where they felt things were moving too fast sexually", and 24% had "done something sexual they didn’t really want to do". Several polls have indicated peer pressure as a factor in encouraging both girls and boys to have sex. The increased sexual activity among adolescents is manifested in increased teenage pregnancies and an increase in sexually transmitted diseases.

An Episcopal Church report published in 1995 entitled Continuing the Dialogue, A Pastoral Study Document of the House of Bishops to the Church as the Church Considers Issues of Human Sexuality noted, in reference to the Song of Songs, that "in praise of sexual love, celebrating youthful passion, with no reference to marriage.... It affirms that sexual love is in itself good and beneficial."

Australia

According to the 2003 Australian Study of Health and Relationships conducted by La Trobe University, "over three quarters of men and women agreed that premarital sex is acceptable. There was little difference between men and women."

By 2011, a survey of 500 parents found 80 per cent thought sex before marriage was acceptable. "The survey, which was conducted by TV station SBS, also found almost one in five parents thought it was acceptable for young people to start having sex at age 16."

A 1987 study looked at the premarital sex norms imposed on female Aboriginal Australians.

France

By 2007, according to a Roman Catholic website, "France has probably the highest rate of premarital sex by age 20 of any country in the world: 72% or almost three quarters of the young population."

French Polynesia

Traditionally, "Polynesian societies condoned premarital sexual expression, access to partners was strictly structured. Gregersen (1983), for example, reported that on the island of Raroia in the Tuamotu Archipelago, there were only 109 people in 1951. Such a small population meant that seven of the nine women of marriageable age were prohibited from having sexual partners because of incest regulations. In the neighboring atoll of Tepuka in the 1930s, the young people were all related and had to journey to other islands or await the arrival of visitors to find a partner... Among traditional French Polynesian societies, and for Polynesia generally, there were two standards for premarital sex that varied by status and rank, according to Davenport (1976). For example, among the Tahitians, firstborn daughters in lineages of firstborns were very sacred. As a consequence, their virginity was valued and protected until a marriage with a partner of suitably high status was arranged. Among these elite daughters, virginity was demonstrated, for example, by the display of a stained white bark cloth following coitus. Subsequent to the birth of their firstborn child, females of high rank were permitted to establish extramarital liaisons. On Pukapuka, according to Marshall Sahlins (1967), the chief kept a sacred virgin in his retinue as a symbol of his spiritual power."

China

China has experienced a rapidly growing trend in premarital sex has been commonly surveyed and noted amongst women in China. In 1989, 15% of women engaged in premarital sex against 2013 where between 60-70% had done so. Chinese Academy of Social Sciences professor Li states that this shows an increase in the types of relationships amongst new generations in China. While several factors have been responsible for the increase, these figures were associated with the equally increasing trend of a growing educated generation of women who are foregoing or delaying marriage in lieu of further education, their careers, and personal independence. They have also been called sheng nu or the leftover women.

Japan

A 1998 study conducted by the University of California-Irvine indicates that the "Japanese frequently answered the question on premarital sex as wrong only sometimes, a unique response. This might be interpreted that the Japanese are favorable to premarital sex as long as it is done discreetly and does not interfere with one's social responsibilities. Also the Japanese tend not to choose extreme response categories."

India

For the Muria people of Madhya Pradesh, sexuality prior to marriage is accepted and at times expected.

Other countries

According to the 1998 study by the University of California-Irvine, "Premarital sex was the most accepted of these four types of nonmarital sex. On average, 61% of respondents across 24 countries agreed that premarital sex is not wrong at all. On the other hand, only 7% of respondents across the 24 countries agreed that there is nothing wrong at all with teenagers younger than 16 having sex. The countries most tolerant of both premarital and under 16 sex were East Germany, West Germany, Austria, Sweden and Slovenia. The most sexually conservative country on all four questions was the Philippines. Five other countries considered sexually conservative were the USA, Ireland, Northern Ireland and Poland."

According to a 2001 UNICEF survey, in 10 out of 12 developed nations with available data, more than two thirds of young people have had sexual intercourse while still in their teens. In Denmark, Finland, Germany, Iceland, Norway, the United Kingdom and the United States, the proportion is over 80%. In Australia, the United Kingdom and the United States, approximately 25% of 15-year olds and 50% of 17-year olds have had sex.

See also

• Trial marriage
• Fornication
• Free love
• Illegitimacy
• Religion and sexuality
• Shotgun wedding
• Single parent

Bibliography

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• Regnerus, Mark; Uecker, Jeremy (2011). Premarital Sex in America : How Young Americans Meet, Mate, and Think about Marrying. Oxford: Oxford University Press. ISBN 978-0-19-974328-5. 
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