Purity ball

A purity ball (also known as a father-daughter purity ball or purity wedding) is a formal ball dance event attended by fathers and their daughters. Purity balls promote virginity until marriage for teenage girls, and are almost exclusively associated with Evangelical Christian churches in the United States. Typically, daughters who attend make a virginity pledge; a pledge to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. Fathers who attend pledge to protect what they view as their young daughters' "purity of mind, body, and soul." Proponents of these events contend that they encourage close and deeply affectionate, but chaste, relationships between fathers and daughters, thereby avoiding the fornication that allegedly results when young women seek love through relationships with men of their own age.

Origins

The origins of the Purity Ball event can be traced back to 1998, when it was initially created by Randy and Lisa Wilson in Colorado Springs, Colorado, United States of America. This event was created not only for the Wilson's five daughters, but for the fathers that Randy viewed as not having a place in their daughters' lives. The ceremony was created to promote and maintain positive father-daughter relationships, as well as pledging the importance of remaining pure and their willingness to be involved parents.

The first Purity Ball was organized when the Wilson's oldest daughter, Jordyn Wilson, entered adolescence. Today, the tradition has spread to many states across America, as well as overseas to some European countries, and there has been talk about Purity Balls spreading to Australia in the near future.

Ceremony

The ceremony is a formal event as daughters get dressed up in ball gowns, and the evening typically consists of dinner, a keynote speaker, ballroom dancing and a vow for fathers and daughters. The girls can range in age from their college years to 4 years old, however the majority of girls are “just old enough… [to] have begun menstruating” as purity ball guidelines advise. Some ceremonies however, state a minimum age requirement.

The ceremonies traditionally begin with a formal dinner, followed by a keynote speech and the ritualized chastity pledges. Although the chastity pledges differ between organisations, the purity balls held by the creator of the concept, Pastor Randy Wilson, follow a symbolic ritual. Seven girls carry in a large wooden cross which they drape in white and with a crown of thorns. Wilson and his friend Kevin Moore then stand in front of the cross and hold up two large swords with their points crossed, under which the fathers and daughters kneel. In their vows, the girls silently promise to commit to live pure lives before God which is represented by laying down a white rose at the cross. The fathers or mentors pledge to shield and protect their daughters, to live pure lives themselves as a man, husband and father, and, to be a man of integrity and responsibility as he acts as a role model for his family. The fathers protecting role over the daughter’s purity is emphasized throughout the night, as Wilson states “Fathers, our daughters are waiting for us… They are desperately waiting for us in a culture that lures them into the murky waters of exploitation. They need to be rescued by you, their dad.” One widely used pledge for fathers reads: “I, (daughter’s name)’s father, choose before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity. I will be pure in my own life as a man, husband and father. I will be a man of integrity and accountability as I lead, guide and pray over my daughter and my family as the high priest in my home. This covering will be used by God to influence generations to come.”

Remembrance gifts are given at some ceremonies to represent the girl’s promise of chastity and the father’s oath to protect her and guide her in her pure lifestyle. One form of token is a charm bracelet or necklace in the shape of a heart for the girl and a key for her father, which symbolizes the father’s duty to protect the young girl’s heart, only giving away the key to her husband on her wedding day. The ceremonies close with a father-daughter waltz which aims to solidify the bond between father and daughter, and show what a proper date should resemble. Lisa Wilson, wife to Randy Wilson and co-founder of Generations of Light, a popular Christian ministry in Colorado Springs, states ““We wanted to set a standard of dignity and honor for the way the girls should be treated by the men in their lives”.

Beliefs and rationale

There is a lot of speculation as to what beliefs surround the Purity Ball and what beliefs the Fathers and Daughters have toward this event. Randy Wilson, one of the co-founders of the Purity Ball states that "The idea was to model what the relationship can be as a daughter grows from a child to an adult," Randy says. "You come in closer, become available to answer whatever questions she has." Essentially the point of the Purity Ball is to produce a much bigger bond between the Fathers role in his daughters life and for her to be able to feel appreciated, respected and loved without having to subject to immoral ideals.

The message, they say, is about integrity, being whole people, heart and soul and body. Wilson himself has said virginity pledges have a downside: "It heaps guilt upon them. If they fail, you've made it worse for them. In a interview with Anderson Cooper, Randy Wilson says the reason the Purity Ball occurs is because "It is the next step in our children's development as young people, from childhood to adulthood. Our objective as parents is to guide and walk with them to help them be successful in their teen years as they are now facing all these different choices and pressures and to help them be successful adults and to have a successful relationships in the years to come. Wilson further goes on to talk about how the Purity Pledge dives has a deeper meaning of Fathers needing to be their daughters lives guiding them and teaching how to cope in life and everything that is thrown their way.

Criticism

Purity Balls have been criticized to deliver the message that a girl and her virginity are like property to be dominated by men. They give the idea that a female is not capable of controlling her desires, and so another must be kept in charge of them. Writer and feminist Eve Ensler criticizes purity balls for implying that fathers, rather than young women themselves, ought to have the freedom to control whether and with whom the young women engage in sexual relations. The daughter is the fathers property when she is promised, and then becomes her husbands property after marriage. The father demotes his daughter by making her a present to be consummated by her future husband. The ritual is an unhealthy form of father-daughter bonding, as it is an unstable emotional commitment. Wilson says “It heaps guilt on them, if they fail you’ve made it worse for them. Many people who take this pledge are actually more likely to obtain sexually transmitted diseases as they do not plan to break the promise, and when they do are less prepared by not having or using precaution. The National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health found that teenagers making virginity pledges, such as those promulgated through purity balls, usually do not adhere to the required standard of chastity, and are less prepared to utilize safer sex precautions in mitigating the risks of sexual activity when it does occur. Furthermore, the study discovered that the percentage of teenagers in a given area who have made virginity pledges is positively correlated with the frequency with which sexually transmitted diseases occur. An article by Time magazine uncovered the same pattern.

This movement also questions the rights of a women’s freedom of choice to date whom she pleases and her own independent decisions without the help of a man. It implies that kids are not capable of making their own choices and have little control to do so. Feminists argue that this ritual can also be considered sexsist, and dichotomized as it rarely applies to men, and does not consider whether the women wants to get married to a man at all. It gives women less opportunities to explore their future mates, as it opts them out from considering to have a female mate if that is their wish.Conservative journalist Betsy Hart, while supporting the idea of sexual abstinence prior to marriage, has expressed concerns that purity balls are pervaded by a preoccupation with physical chastity which may inadvertently imbue the social construction of girls attending them with erotic attributes, while shifting attention away from maintenance of the internal moral and spiritual virtue which she believes is required by the tenets of the Christian faith.

See also

• Silver Ring Thing
• Virginity pledge
• Purity ring
• Abstinence-only sex education
• Father-daughter dance

External links

• The Purity Ball: Time Magazine photo essay of a purity ball