Real Ultimate Power

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The Official Ninja Web page: Real Ultimate Power!
URL http://realultimatepower.net
Type of site humor
Owner Robert Hamburger
Created by Robert Hamburger

The Official Ninja Web page: Real Ultimate Power! is a humor website created by Robert Hamburger (as a fictional, 13-year-old character also named "Robert Hamburger" whose friend has "braggably" gone through puberty) about ninjas, whom he constantly describes using absolutes such as "totally sweet". The site has become very popular and has generated large amounts of attention including hate mail, as well as a number of parodies.

Contents

[edit] "Real Ultimate" Ninjas

Hamburger describes ninjas through three "facts":

  1. Ninjas are mammals.
  2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
  3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

Much of the humor associated with the Real Ultimate Power website is obscure, drawing on the common youthful obsession with ninjas by elementary school-age children. Ninjas, along with much ancient Japanese culture, are often regarded with admiration by Westerners for their dangerousness and martial code; by choosing them as a subject the author may be mocking this somewhat fetishized respect. If the site's hate mail is genuine (see below), those sending it have made themselves the butt of this joke.

Other content includes several "pump-up" scripts, short stories about ninjas involving demented humor and gags such as Ninjas "fighting pirates" or "wailing on guitars" and thus "making all pirates explode", or about a ninja whose "boner smashes the entire restaurant" while the scripts themselves are written roughly like a real movie script, including description of music and camera effects, and they are supposed to "pump up" whoever reads them. Most often, they generate even more hatemail towards the site.

There is also a photograph gallery with fan-submitted images of "Ninjas" and "Pirates" inspired by the site's contents, links to other Ninja-related sites and media, and a ninja themed forum.

Many of the letters in the 'hate mail' section appear as parodies of 'real-life' versions of the Robert Hamburger character. For example, one letter disputes the site's claim to have seen a real ninja on the grounds that "there are less than 50 real ones left, and only 5 live in the US". Regarding the authenticity of the hate mail itself, the author said in an interview that some of the hate email is actually written by him, while others, such as the ones from an apparent real ninja signed Soke D. Fujita, were authentic.[1]

[edit] Parodies

The Real Ultimate Power website contains a self parody which replaces all "Ninja" references with "Hippos."[2] Other similar parodies of Real Ultimate Power have included as subjects president George W. Bush, Britney Spears or All Your Base Are Belong To Us.

[edit] Book

Real Ultimate Power, The Official Ninja Book (ISBN 0-8065-2569-X) was published on July 1, 2004, by Citadel as part of their Rebel Base Books line. The product description[3] posted on Amazon.com reads:

Dear Stupid Idiots,
A lot of you have been saying that I don't know anything about REAL ninjas. But that's a bunch of bull crap! You dummies don't know anything. And maybe YOU should get a life. I bet a lot of you have never even seen a girl naked! You idiots believe that ninjas had some "code of honor". Yeah right! If by "code of honor", you mean "code to flip out and go nuts for absolutely no reason at all even if it means that people might think you are totally insane or sweet", then you are right. But if you mean a "code to be nice and speak nicely while sharing and not cutting off heads", then you're the biggest idiot ever!!!!!! So if you have any brains, you will shut up and get a life. So go shut up, you stupid idiot.

No thank you,
Robert Hamburger

[edit] Popular culture

  1. The Battlefield 1942 mod, Killer Commando, references the site in its use of the "Ninjas vs Pirates" theme in the game-play.
  2. For fans of writing fictional crossovers between the popular and lengthy anime, Naruto and One Piece, the Ninjas vs Pirates theme is an obvious one, and the name is often used.
  3. The theme is present in the online fantasy MMORPG World of Warcraft, where characters who ingest Savory Deviate Delight are randomly transformed into either a ninja (tool-tip description: "Flip Out") or a pirate. [4]
  4. Several video game magazines (GamePro, for example) have used references from the Real Ultimate Power website to review ninja related games.
  5. The Game Boy Advance version of Final Fantasy IV has a reference to Real Ultimate Power: In the town of Baron, there is a boy who says "I can't stop thinking about dark knights! They're cool... and by cool, I mean totally sweet."
  6. The second edition of the Ninja Burger Role-playing game features a pirate enemy for Ninja Burger (Pirate Pizza), and has a Real Ultimate Ninja mode for playing the game, wherein ninja characters are permitted to flip out and do crazy things.
  7. In Issue 207 of Nintendo Power, the preview section of the magazine contains a subtitle that reads "Can Ninjas and Pirates exist in the same section? Find out!" And not surprisingly, there is a preview for a Naruto game, and a One Piece game on opposite pages.
  8. The Game Boy Advance game Summon Night: Swordcraft Story 2 has a line of dialogue from character Toumei that reads "Your spirited efforts, combined with the real ultimate power of an Onmyoji master's spell, banished the evil spirit from Borgrim's body." While it may not, in fact, be a reference to real ultimate power, the fact that its wording is unnecessary and the placement is irregular may lead to the assumption that it is indeed a reference.
  9. The song "Ninja" by a British band called 7 Seconds of Love, makes references to flipping out.
  10. The English band, 'You Remind Me Of Rasputin' have a song called 'Ninja, Please' which is also the title of one of Hamburgers scripts.
  11. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade game released for Xbox Live Arcade has an achievement called "Real Ultimate Power".
  12. NCSoft and ArenaNet's Guild Wars makes a reference with the highest title for winning festival games, titled "Real Ultimate Power Skillz" (tier 12).
  13. The site was also referenced in the July 2008 issue #183 of Game Informer magazine. The sub-heading of the Ninja Gaiden 2 review featured on page 90 of the issue simply cites: "Real Ultimate Power." The Second Opinion review (also featured on page 90 of issue #183) also references "flipping out" in a similar fashion as Robert Hamburger's book.

[edit] References

  1. ^ Carp, Alex, The Art of Fighting: The Indy talks to Robert, webmaster of "The Official Ninja Webpage.", The College Hill Independent, Spring 2003
  2. ^ The Official Hippo Webpage Real Ultimate Power website
  3. ^ product description on Amazon.com
  4. ^ Flip Out,World of Warcraft Database, WoW.com

[edit] See also

[edit] External links


[edit] Video

[edit] Audio

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