Red State Update

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A clip starring Mike Gravel is played on the political program Tucker.

Red State Update was an online satirical political series of short films and podcasts produced in the United States by performers Jonathan Shockley and Travis Harmon.[1]

Characters and recurring segments[edit]

Jackie Broyles and Dunlap[edit]

Jackie Broyles (played by Travis Harmon), who runs a store that sells barbecue, is the older and more levelheaded of the two main characters. He espouses traditional conservatism, especially a belief in following the Bible and attending church, though he rarely goes himself. He enjoys whiskey on occasion, hates curse words, and holds to a consistent work ethic. By contrast, the younger Dunlap (played by Jonathan Shockley) regularly espouses blatant hedonism. He has rarely held a job and lives in his grandmother's basement. Dunlap, whose full name remains a mystery, is consistently focused upon getting high and having sex, and his lack of traditional values, combined with his propensity to swear, regularly makes Jackie mad. Both characters hail from Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Shimmysham[edit]

An early addition to Red State Update, Shimmysham is a ventriloquist's dummy who made his debut in January 2006 as a counterbalance to Jackie and Dunlap's conservative Republican perspective .[2]

Mr. Slaw and "Cooking with Jackie Time"[edit]

Jackie Broyles enjoys cooking and tries to teach new recipes to RSU viewers during the occasional segment "Cooking with Jackie Time". Jackie's cooking show is regularly disrupted by visits from his friend Mr. Slaw, a sickly, pessimistic character (really, a disembodied head) who lives in a bowl of coleslaw. "Cooking with Jackie Time" and Mr. Slaw first appeared in the episode "Red State Update Retires".[3] Mr. Slaw also interviewed Ralph Nader during the 2008 presidential campaign and starred in the music video "Too Sick for Christmas."

"Jackie Broyles for President"[edit]

Dunlap made a string of commercials for a "Jackie Broyles for President" campaign during the 2008 presidential primaries. Jackie issued a Shermanesque statement denying his intention to run and declared that he had voted for Fred Thompson in the primary, even though Thompson had already left the race.[4]

$120 Campaign Ads[edit]

Ahead of the 2010 mid-term elections, Dunlap decided to get Red State Update into the "political advertisement game" and offered to make "any political ad for anybody for $120."[5] Jackie and Dunlap subsequently released 9 campaign ads. The first 8 ads were related to upcoming elections and the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear. The final ad was released after the 2010 election, and promoted a campaign to write in Aleister Crowley for the 2012 campaign for U.S. President.[6][7]

Notability[edit]

CNN and the YouTube debate[edit]

Red State Update came to national prominence during the primary season for the 2008 presidential election. RSU's first appearance on national television was during the CNN-YouTube Democratic primary debate on July 23, 2007, which posed prerecorded, viewer-submitted questions to the candidates. Of Democrats who were entertaining the idea of former Vice-President Al Gore joining the race, Red State Update asked, "does that hurt y'all's feelings?" [8] Joe Biden made a tongue-in-cheek observation that "I think the people of Tennessee (the home state of both Gore and the RSU pair) had their feelings hurt," prompting a video response entitled "Fightin' Joe Biden". The subsequent publicity generated led to a number of appearances on different news stations and a semi-regular spot on CNN's short-lived program Out in the Open. They gained prominence again in December 2007 when former Senator and long-shot presidential candidate Mike Gravel appeared in one of their clips as Santa Claus.[9]

Red State Update was repeatedly referenced by CNN's offbeat reporter Jeanne Moos.[10]

Popularity and syndication[edit]

Red State Update was one of the most widely viewed political satire series on the internet; its channel was, at one time, the 20th "most viewed" and 26th "most subscribed" comedy channel on YouTube.[11] It was also syndicated weekly through the popular online magazine Salon.com.[12]

Musical endeavors[edit]

The duo released How Freedom Sounds, an album of comedy and novelty songs, on July 22, 2008. [13] Two years later, the pair released a Christmas album, Santa Is Real, featuring such songs as "Christmas in a Beer Joint" and "I Don't Feel Like Fucking This Christmas." The album title and cover art reference the 1959 gospel album Satan Is Real.

Podcast Series[edit]

On November 21, 2012, the duo released the first episode of "The Ole Timey Country Down Home Red State Update Podcast 'n' 'Em." Episodes were released on a weekly basis, with few exceptions, and tended to last approximately an hour in length. The episodes continued on the themes of the video series, featuring discussions of the major political issues in the news, or notable cultural events, such as the death of George Jones. All episodes were recorded in the bunker underneath Jackie's Market, save when the duo engaged in talks elsewhere, as with their appearance at the 2014 Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC).

Sponsors[edit]

A notable feature of the podcast series was the inclusion of sponsorships featuring local Murfreesboro businesses who pay $25 to be mentioned on the podcast. Often, mutual dislike or suspicion about each other's sponsorships led to heated arguments between Jackie and Dunlap. As the podcast progressed, the sponsor segments consumed an increasing amount of time, leading both characters to lament the amount of time that they are spending on the sponsorships and expressing determination to press on to the important news of the day. However, the sponsor segments constituted the medium by which much of the local goings-on in Murfreesboro were communicated to the listening audience. Occasionally, Red State Update released a special podcast consisting of the sponsor segments from previous episodes. Among the sponsors of the podcast were the following:

  • Tee Tee Slott. Tee Tee Slott was originally a prostitute advertising her sexual services to the Murfreesboro community. However, she soon left prostitution and soon moved into childcare, setting up a mobile daycare in a van. When that failed, she moved into the beverage business, hiring other former prostitutes to produce such drinks as Slott Soda, Slott Water, and Slott Juice (which originally came in the following flavors: Grape, Apple, Grape-Apple, Pink, and Clear), as well as seasonal beverages such as Slott Cider and Slott Nog. She also branched out into the movie rental business with Slott Box (her version of Redbox) and a Halloween haunted house, filled with prostitutes in old dresses, called Tee Tee Slott's Horror House, which was later transformed into a brothel as Tee Tee had leased the old house past Halloween. Due to her position with the Murfreesboro Bottled Water Association, Tee Tee Slot was able to oust the mayor of Murfreesboro due to his dereliction of duty in the face of the ongoing McKinley-Sullivan feud (see below).
  • Doctor Birdman. Doctor Birdman was originally just known as The Bird Man and showed up in Murfreesboro on occasion to peddle rare and exotic birds, either in the parking lot of Jackie's Market or the parking lot of Big Lots. How he acquires these birds is a regular subject of debate. Following the Newtown Massacre, Birdman changed his name briefly to Gun Man and sold firearms; he has also put on monkeyshows. Birdman later began practicing medicine and even offered his own form of insurance to compete with Obamacare. Throughout 2014, a major story arc in the Doctor Birdman saga has centered upon Hurt Bird, a special bird that was supposed to produce an amazing sound right at midnight on New Year's Eve (when he was known as New Year's Eve Bird). However, the bird escaped, and, in the process of being recaptured by Doctor Birdman's henchman Jimmy, was injured. Subsequently, several events throughout Murfreesboro have been held to raise money for treating Hurt Bird. At a special Fourth of July event to raise money for Hurt Bird, the bird went missing during a confusing sequence of events, after which Doctor Birdman and Don Jekyll Jr. were both arrested, and it was suggested that the bird is now a specter. Later reports had it that Hurt Bird was retrieved by animal control, though the officers became sick, necessitating military involvement. Other reports hold that Hurt Bird was contained in a secret chamber beneath the Middle Tennessee State University stadium, where he was being treated by the water boys of the Blue Raiders football team. Doctor Birdman was later released on his own recognizance and has been attempting to regain possession of Hurt Bird.
  • Wet Breads. Wet Breads was a fine Murfreesboro establishment which, as Jackie and Dunlap regularly comment, manages to get bread wetter than one could at home. They later expanded their offerings to include juicy pizza.
  • Gun Sonic. Gun Sonic was a gun and ammunition store located in an old Sonic Drive-In restaurant, with the employees bringing one's order right to the car, just as Sonic waitresses do with fast food orders. However, given that customers continued to ask for tater tots, Gun Sonic began serving those and considered expanding their food offerings.
  • Johnny Greenstreet's Get-Out. Johnny Greenstreet, an EMT, runs an animal removal business that covers animals both alive and dead. His role in the Hurt Bird saga included inadvertently damaging the popcorn machine at the Murfreesboro Museum when hired by Doctor Birdman to break into the museum in order to try to retrieve the animal.
  • Coley's Snack Foods. Coley's Snack Foods sales a variety of bagged snacks with a Bible page in every bag. The company uses prison labor for the dismantling of Bibles to put in their popular products, and some Murfreesboro residents have managed to assemble an entire Bible from eating numerous bags of the snacks. Coley's also branched out into the Christian film industry, with several movies re-dubbed and edited so that the dialogue presents an evangelical message, as well as the private prison industry.
  • Jim Beavers Who Works for Comcast Cable. Jim Beavers regularly pays Jackie twenty-five dollars to plug some particular show, usually one running in syndication. However, his reason for doing so remains unknown, as he is a cable technician and not a Comcast executive trying to promote particular shows.
  • Skunky's. Skunky's was co-managed by Little Helen and Big Helen. Little Helen originally ran a business called Little Helen's, and Jackie had her as a sponsor on the recommendation of Big Helen, though he never had any idea as to the nature of the business. Little Helen's soon folded but managed to re-open. Later, Big Helen joined the business, which was renamed Skunky's to avoid confusion. Despite repeatedly accepting money to sponsor the establishment, Jackie never knew what kind of establishment Skunky's was, and debate on the nature of the business ranges from some kind of restaurant to something illegal or relating to satanism.
  • Longhorn's Dance Parlor. Longhorn's was a dance parlor where fights regularly break out. Jackie's Market apparently lies between Longhorn's and the nearest police station, and when sirens can be heard during the podcast, Jackie and Dunlap remark that the cops must be going to Longhorn's.
  • The Murfreesboro Museum. The Murfreesboro Museum was well known for having the best popcorn anywhere.
  • Dom Podge's Tax Whiz. Dom Podge is a licensed minister and militia member who runs a tax service in Murfreesboro. People seeking to hire him will hoist an American flag, upside-down, and then be contacted by Dom Podge, usually in disguise, who will organize a secret meeting. Clients are urged to bring their receipts, which Dom Podge will tear up or burn before handing his client a copy of the U.S. Constitution and telling said client that the Constitution says that they do not need to pay any taxes to the federal government. The copy of the Constitution is free, but clients have to pay extra if they want it framed.
  • The Glory Shelf. The Glory Shelf was a Christian supply store managed by Ted and Ralph, who are assumed by Dunlap to be a gay couple. The name of the business may refer to the sexual slang term glory hole. Ted and Ralph later split up due to differing opinions regarding the McKinley-Sullivan Feud, with Ralph founding his own establishment, He Touched Me Books and Balloons. However, they later came back together following the destruction of Murfreesboro.
  • Greeters. Consisting of a group of Wal-Mart greeters, Greeters offered general conversation and friendly interaction in exchange for donations. However, Greeters was driven out of business by Don Jekyll Jr.'s rival business, Pre-Greeters.
  • Hosewater. Hosewater was a bottled water company started by the local McElroy family. Using the slogan "One sip keeps it simple," Hosewater offers water that has been run through a garden hose so as to bring back memories of youth and summertime, when children will often drink from the outdoor hose. After succeeding wildly with original Green Hose flavor, Hosewater branched out into Black Hose, Hosewater Light, and Energy Plus flavors. Once local beverage competitor Tee-Tee Slott began offering a new product, Slott Juice Hose, Hosewater retaliated by selling Hosejuice. After the patriarch of the McElroy family, Reo McElroy, was caught making online racist comments regarding the company his mistress was keeping, the Murfreesboro Bottled Water Association confiscated the McElroy family hose. However, shortly thereafter, Dom Podge returned from the Bundy Ranch standoff with the actual Bundy ranch hose, Reo McElroy began offering a new product, Freedom Water. He also founded his own bottled beverage association, the Murfreesboro Water Bottle Association. In the wake of Tee Tee Slot assuming mayoral power following the McKinley-Sullivan feud (see below), Reo McElroy has threatened to secede from the city and establish his own municipality of Hoseboro.
  • Three Sticks of Candy. Three Sticks of Candy was run by Mr. Reynolds, a former pharmacist. After the death of his wife, Mr. Reynolds, still grieving, accidentally mixed up some prescriptions, resulting in the injury and possible death of several Murfreesboro residents. He subsequently lost his pharmacy license and opened a candy shop in the same location. He continues to dress as a pharmacist and keeps candy in pill bottles. At Three Sticks of Candy, customers can only buy candy three pieces at a time, save for Wednesdays between the hours of 3:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m., when "three is six." Mr. Reynolds reportedly has a mannequin dressed up as his dead wife, to whom he talks. At last report, the establishment was infested with coyotes.
  • Don Jekyll Jr. Don Jekyll Jr. has sponsored the Red State Update podcast under the auspices of a number of business enterprises, usually copying off other successful Murfreesboro institutions. He is known foremost for stealing merchandise from his father's business, Snakeheads, and selling these items under the business names Snakeheads 2 and Snakefaces. Later, he started Pre-Greeters, ripping off the idea of Greeters but staffing his own with rough drunks whose violent threats against the employees of Greeters eventually led that establishment to close. He also began selling candy at Pre-Greeters under the name of "3 Stix O'Kan-D." On July 4, 2014, Jekyll was arrested, along with Doctor Birdman, for his part in an illegal display of fireworks and exploding propane tanks during which Hurt Bird went missing.
  • Heatherglen Springs Woods. This was a Murfreesboro nursing home which features a drive-through means of visiting one's elderly relatives.
  • Peanut Pockets Steakhouse. This local steakhouse had been operating since 1954 and has featured several different people playing the mascot character of Peanut Pockets. Murfreesboro residents often express a particular love for specific incarnations of Peanut Pockets, not unlike how fans of the BBC series Doctor Who express preferences for particular incarnations of the Doctor.
  • Gracesayers. Gracesayers is an agency whose members specialize in saying grace and will appear at family meals and other gatherings with food in order to bless the food professionally.
  • The Cobbler Gobbler. Serving a somewhat decent peach cobbler reminiscent of the kind one might buy at Kroger, the Cobbler Gobbler pales in comparison to another purveyor of peach cobbler in the Murfreesboro area, the name of which establishment remains unspoken on the Red State Update podcast on account of the owner being such a horrible person--having perhaps even murdered his cousin for the secret cobbler recipe--that he would no doubt be out of business did he not dish up the absolute best cobbler anyone has ever eaten.
  • Mirabella Gennessey. Mirabella Gennessey is a Tanya Tucker impersonator and professional prostitute whom Dunlap met at the funeral of George Jones. Listeners have been urged not to inform Dr. Birdman that it was not the real singer whose company he enjoyed that day.
  • Wizardbeards. A local head shop, Wizardbeards once sponsored a trip to Colorado to celebrate that state's pot legalization. Dunlap was a big fan of the business.
  • Victor Mileage/Murfreesboro Playactors' Club. The Murfreesboro Playactors' Club is the local theatre troupe who, in conjunction with director Victor Mileage, attracted controversy with the attempted staging of the play "Goddamn This Horse," which was finally performed in the parking lot of Luby's after the performers were denied a venue elsewhere. Victor Mileage also produced a play recounting the life of local businesswoman Tee Tee Slott. It was a member of the Murfreesboro Playactors' Club who portrayed George Washington during the 2014 Independence Day extravaganza featuring Hurt Bird at which Doctor Birdman and Don Jekyll Jr. were arrested.
  • Newtown Massacre Conspiracy Theorists' Club. A local social club, this group aims to sponsor constructive conversation about a notorious school shooting.
  • Steubenville Board of Tourism. Following the Steubenville rape scandal, the board of tourism of Steubenville, Ohio sponsored the podcast in a frankly misguided attempt to improve the town's image.
  • Miss Phillips' Kitty Pillows. Miss Phillips began selling what she called "kitty pillows," which were pillows with pictures of cats on them. These pillows were intended for humans, rather than cats, but people bought them thinking that they were pillows to be used by pets. Unfortunately, the materials used in the pillow construction were toxic to cats, and some animals reportedly died. Miss Phillips issued a clarification of the intended usage and began manufacturing plain, colored pillows, with no cat pictures, to be used by animals--at least, healthy animals with no prior medical conditions. The Murfreesboro Museum later had an exhibit on the infamous Kitty Pillows, though Miss Phillips was unable to attend it on account of having been run out of town by furious pet owners. Miss Phillips later crafted pillows to be sent to the southern border of the United States to comfort refugee children there.
  • Third Baptist Pentecostal Church of Holliness God. Located in a building that sells refurbished washing machines, the Third Baptist Pentecostal Church of Holiness God is most known for celebrating an annual Anti-Halloween Lock-In. This church later renamed itself the Third Baptist Pentecostal Church of Ghost/Hurt Bird following the destruction of Murfreesboro.
  • Sullivan's Auto Parts and McKinley Air Conditioning. These two businesses sponsored the podcast beginning with Episode 88, a rare episode in which the sponsor segment lasted less than ten minutes. Everything seemed straightforward; however, Jackie's recollection that Sullivan and McKinley seemed to be friends, visiting his store together, awoke a longstanding grudge between Sullivan and McKinley, the origin of which lay in McKinley's discovery of a picture of his sister, Lynette, standing with a man who had his hand on her boob. McKinley insisted that the man in question was Sullivan due to an apparent scar visible in the picture, which Sullivan insisted was simply a fleck on the photograph. Making the issue particularly contentious was the fact that Lynette was married, though her husband was in a wheelchair and participated in sports for the disabled. Episodes subsequent to Episode 88 reveal a town coming apart at the seams as individuals align with either "Team McKinley" or "Team Sullivan." Sullivan even ran Jim Beavers with Comcast Cable (see above) off the road after catching sight of him servicing McKinley's house. The ongoing violence led to the mayor of Murfreesboro being ousted and replaced by Tee Tee Slot (see above).

Many of the sponsoring businesses were represented as being located "just off the square" in Murfreesboro. Most of these businesses were destroyed during the McKinley-Sullivan Feud that resulted in the burning of Murfreesboro (see below).

Movie Commentaries[edit]

Jackie and Dunlap have also included in their podcast two full-length DVD commentaries for the movies The Dark Knight Rises and Man of Steel.

Clip of the Week[edit]

In 2014, Dunlap began including a "clip of the week" into the podcast. These are usually YouTube clips and originally included snippets from the PTL Club featuring such celebrities as Colonel Sanders. However, the "clip of the week" feature has become less something that Dunlap offers listeners and more something he demands from them, urging listeners to go out and find specific YouTube videos and post them on the Facebook page of Red State Update.

Red State Update Curse[edit]

Speculation has arisen among fans as to the existence of a curse upon the series following the deaths of Mickey Rooney, James Garner, and Robin Williams within weeks of each one being mentioned prominently in the podcast. So far, the curse seems limited to individuals working within the entertainment industry. Jackie and Dunlap analyze the seriousness of the curse in Episode 93 of the podcast.

McKinley-Sullivan Feud/Destruction of Murfreesboro/End of the Series[edit]

During the spring of 2014, Jackie and Dunlap announced that they were continuing the podcast only to Episode 100 unless they secured an invitation from the George W. Bush Presidential Library to do a live podcast on the premises. They later expanded their demands for continuing the podcast to include having actor Matthew Broderick accompany them for this special event. These demands were later dropped or forgotten. It should be noted that, despite the duo's insistence that they had set their limit of 100 episodes from the very beginning, they first mentioned the scheduled termination of the series only around Episode 75.

The 100th episode was released on September 22, 2014. Technically, it was only Episode 98, but according to Jackie and Dunlap, they were recording on October 5, 2014. During the intervening two weeks, Dunlap had convinced Jackie that they were recording their weekly podcast, but this was simply playacting in order to keep them occupied while they were hiding out in Jockey's bunker following the destruction of much of Murfreesboro in the wake of the McKinley-Sullivan Feud.

As was revealed in Episode 96, Mayor Tee-Tee Slott attempted to bring peace to Murfreesboro by the convening of a peace summit at the city fair, located near the Pepsi machine that has the llama tied up next to it. She managed to convince Sullivan and McKinley to set aside their grievances, and the outlook for the future seemed bright, especially when Mayor Slott announced free popcorn to the assembled crowds, wheeling out the popcorn machine from the Murfreesboro Museum. However, the popcorn machine proved broken, and the mood of the crowd quickly soured. Riots broke out. At the fair, Coley's Snack Foods had hosted a dunking booth using prisoners from their private prison complex--some dressed as demons, with others dressed in regular prison garb. Because the crowds had objected to so many hundreds of prisoners roaming around, the show cows had been released from their pens so that the prisoners could be locked up. These cows created a great deal of confusion as the crowds became angry, inflaming the situation. In addition, the poor security around the cow pens allowed the prisoners to escape. Though the girl from Gun Sonic managed to shoot a few, hundreds still fled to the woods around Murfreesboro, led by Don Jeckyll Jr., who had become a Marxist during his latest round in prison. (As it happens, the popcorn machine had been damaged by Doctor Birdman and Johnny Greenstreet when they, assisted by Jackie Broyles, broke into the Murfreesboro Museum to follow up rumors that Hurt Bird was being kept in the basement.)

Episode 98 reveals what happened following this outbreak of violence, including the repeated changeover in the mayoral position. Tee-Tee Slott declared martial law, using her own Slott Cops as well as assuming command of the Peanut Pockets Patrol from the Peanut Pockets Steakhouse. However, she put in charge of her security the Gun Sonic girl, who had previously dated one of the McElroy boys. This allowed for a coup d'etat whereby Reo McElroy was able to assume political control of Murfreesboro, driving Tee-Tee Slott away to McMinnville, Tennessee and renaming the city Hoseboro. He quickly proved unpopular, as his only signature policy was to give everyone in town a hose. Meanwhile, riots continued, and everything off the square was burned. Only the town mosque, the square, and Jackie's Market were left standing, the latter preserved by the efforts of the Hosewater crew and Wetbreads. Then occurred the "Three Great Speeches," as they were later called. In the first, Lynette revealed that the picture of her with the man holding her breast was taking with the full knowledge of her husband, who was into cuckold fetishism. In the second, the Cobbler Guy, whose name nobody will reveal, cussed at the entirety of Murfreesboro's citizenry. As people were absorbing this, Don Jeckyll Jr., now wearing a Bane mask and calling himself Bane Jeckyll Jr., climbed atop the Peanut Pockets tank and said simply, "Get him." People were more than happy to chase down the Cobbler Guy, pursuing him to the McMinnville city limits. In a popular upswell, Bane Jeckyll Jr. took over the reins of the mayor's office, banishing Reo McElroy to McMinnville and ordering the immediate execution of his former fellow prisoners.

During the violence, Dunlap managed to drag Jackie into the bunker underneath Jockey's Market, his most hated competitor. They spent much of their time eating the voluminous provisions of the bunker, though Dunlap also masturbated repeatedly in the bunker's chapel. When e-mail comes back online, Dunlap, from the safety of the bunker, is able to reveal what has gone on during their prolonged absence underground. Noteworthy is the disappearance of all the major figures of the Hurt Bird saga. Doctor Birdman's truck was found wrecked, with the word "Squawk" written in blood on the windshield and feathers lying around. In similar circumstances did his henchman, Jimmy, and the manager of the Big Lots parking lot, where Doctor Birdman regularly appeared, also disappear. Dunlap remarks to Jackie that, as someone who regularly hosted Doctor Birdman, Jackie should be afraid for his life. Jackie dismisses this, though he does receive a phone call to the bunker that consists of nothing more than demonic squawking and other bird noises. At the end of the podcast, as Dunlap happens to mention that he was the one who took those fetish pictures of Lynette (and thus had known all along that it was not Sullivan's hand on her boob and could have prevented all the violence that resulted), there is a fevered knocking on the bunker door. The door breaks open, and all that can be heard are Jackie and Dunlap screaming amid fearsome bird noises. With that, the episode ends.

Episode 99 finds Dunlap attempting to comfort a dying Jackie. As Jackie seems on the verge of passing away, Dunlap confesses that he is actually a virgin, that he had performed a number of sexual acts with various women, including anal and facials with multiple partners, but had never engaged in vaginal penetration with his own penis. Meanwhile, Jackie dies and goes to heaven, where he encounters God, who looks like Dunlap and informs him that this is not People Heaven but rather Goat Heaven. Jackie's job is to build a pen to contain all the departed goats that have ever lived, and he spends hundreds of years doing this, followed by hundreds of years caring for the goats when they finally arrive. Then, Dunlap God comes and rounds up all the goats for a big barbecue in People Heaven, giving Jackie the option of staying there in empty Goat Heaven or returning to his earthly form. Thus, he comes back to life at the very moment he had died and informs Dunlap that he now knows how precious each moment is, adding, "I'm never doing another parkast again!"

Episode 100 is set in the 2030s, with the duo recording their 1,000th podcast at the George W. Bush Memorial Library in New Murfreesboro. Dunlap is an old and grizzled man, having reportedly served as a mercenary for many years, and while Jackie is no longer alive, his consciousness has been downloaded into a mechanism Dunlap dubs the "Jackietron." Unfortunately, Jackie cannot remember any of the time between 2014 and the future-present, losing his memory each time he is turned off, and so Dunlap has to inform him of events that occurred in the intervening years. For example, Tee-Tee Slott is now president and regularly issues They Live-like decrees, such as "Obey, Consume, Fear, Report." Dunlap promises a special event at the end of the podcast, which ends up being sending Jackie back in time to October 5, 2014 (the time period of Episodes 98 and 99), right after he had returned to life, to convince his living self not to stop podcasting (thus engaging in a predestination paradox). Only the Jackietron can go, as time travel in the 2030s has not progressed to the point of sending living matter through time. Upon arriving in the bunker underneath Jockey's Market, the Jackietron attempts to kill Jackie so as to prevent ever ending up in a robot body in the first place. However, Jackie is able to kill the robot with a broom handle, and the Jackietron's last words are a garbled, "Thank you." In response to the appearance of the robot, Dunlap is able to convince Jackie that he must assume the mantle of the leader in the resistance against the robot uprising, and as the podcast ends, with the score from The Terminator playing in the background, a narrator informs listeners that Jackie continued podcasting anti-robot messages, though no one ever paid him any attention.

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References[edit]

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