Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
|Santa Claus Conquers the Martians|
Promotional film poster
|Directed by||Nicholas Webster|
|Produced by||Paul L. Jacobson
Joseph E. Levine
|Written by||Paul L. Jacobson
|Music by||Milton DeLugg|
|Cinematography||David L. Quaid|
|Editing by||William Henry|
|Distributed by||Embassy Pictures Corporation|
|Running time||81 min.|
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a 1964 science fiction film that regularly appears on lists of the worst films ever made. It is regularly featured in the "bottom 100" list on the Internet Movie Database, and was featured in an episode of the 1986 syndicated series, the Canned Film Festival. It was directed by Nicholas Webster, and it stars John Call as Santa Claus. It also includes an 8-year-old Pia Zadora playing the role of one of the Martian children.
The film took on newfound fame in the 1990s after being featured on an episode of the comedy series Mystery Science Theater 3000. It became a holiday staple on the Comedy Central cable channel in the years following its 1991 premiere. It has since found new life again in the 2000s having been riffed by Cinematic Titanic. The movie was also featured on the current run of "Elvira's Movie Macabre."
The story involves the people of Mars, including Momar ("Mom Martian") and Kimar ("King Martian"). They're worried that their children Girmar ("Girl Martian") and Bomar ("Boy Martian") are watching too much Earth television, most notably station KID-TV's interview with Santa Claus in his workshop at the North Pole. Consulting the ancient 800-year-old Martian sage Chochem (a Yiddish word meaning "genius"), they are advised that the children of Mars are growing distracted due to the society's overly rigid structure; from infancy, all their education is fed into their brains through machines and they are not allowed individuality or freedom of thought.
Chochem notes that he had seen this coming "for centuries", and says the only way to help the children is to allow them their freedom and be allowed to have fun. To do this, they need a Santa Claus figure, like on Earth. Leaving the Chochem's cave, the Martian leaders decide to abduct Santa Claus from Earth and bring him to Mars. As the Martians could not distinguish between all the fake Santas, they kidnapped two children to find the real one. Once this is accomplished, one Martian, Voldar, who strongly disagrees with the idea, repeatedly tries to kill Santa Claus along with the two kidnapped Earth children. He believes that Santa is corrupting the children of Mars and turning them away from the race's original glory.
When they arrive on Mars, Santa and the children build a factory to make toys for the children. However, Voldar and his assistants, Stobo and Shim, sabotage the factory and change the programming so that it makes the toys incorrectly. Meanwhile, Dropo, Kimar's assistant, has taken a great liking to Santa Claus and Christmas, puts on one of Santa's spare suits and starts acting like Santa Claus. He goes to the toy factory to make toys, but Voldar mistakes him for Santa and kidnaps him.
When Santa and the children come back to the factory to make more toys, they discover the machines have been tampered with. Voldar and Stobo come back to the factory to make a deal with Kimar, but when they see the real Santa Claus they realize that their plan has been foiled. Dropo, held hostage in a cave, tricks his guard Shim and escapes. Kimar then arrests Voldar, Stobo and Shim. Santa notices Dropo acts like him, and says that Dropo would make a good Martian Santa. Kimar agrees to let Dropo be the Martian Santa Claus and sends Santa and the children back to Earth.
- John Call as Santa Claus
- Leonard Hicks as Kimar
- Vincent Beck as Voldar
- Bill McCutcheon as Dropo
- Victor Stiles as Billy
- Donna Conforti as Betty
- Chris Month as Bomar
- Pia Zadora as Girmar
- Leila Martin as Momar
- Charles Renn as Hargo
- James Cahill as Rigna
- Ned Wertimer as Andy Henderson
- Doris Rich as Mrs. Claus
- Carl Don as Chochem / Von Green
- Ivor Bodin as Winky
Home Media 
Due to its public domain status in the United States, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has been released on many different bargain-price DVD labels.
- The MST3K version of the film was released by Rhino Home Video as part of the Essentials DVD set.
- Cinematic Titanic riffed the film as their November 2008 release.
- The Cinema Insomnia version was released by Apprehensive Films as part of their Slime Line series.
- It was also released on DVD, on the Holiday Family Collection, by Mill Creek Entertainment in 2006.
- The Elvira's Movie Macabre version was released on DVD by E1 Entertainment on December 6, 2011.
- Kino Lorber planned to release a Santa Claus Conquers the Martians: Kino Classics Special Edition on Blu-ray and DVD on October 30, 2012. However, it was discovered that the discs had been pressed using a severely truncated master copy running only 69 minutes. The release of this edition has been postponed pending the correction of this manufacturing error. A new version was released on December 4, 2012, with the original running time intact.
From 20 reviews in Rotten Tomatoes, the film scored 25% fresh reviews.
It has been named one of the worst films ever.
The movie was featured in episode number 3.21 of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and a new version by the MST3K spinoff Cinematic Titanic became available in late November 2008. Scenes from the movie were used in both A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All! (during the song sung by Toby Keith), and Eloise at Christmastime (when Sir Wilkes is watching television).
The movie spawned a tongue-in-cheek novelization by Lou Harry, released by Penguin Books/Chamberlain Bros. in 2005. The book, which includes a DVD of the original film, presents the story from the perspective of a now-adult Girmar, who has not only succeeded her father as ruler of Mars, but also narrates the tale in a 'valley girl'-esque type of language.
In 1993 a theatrical production of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, the Musical premiered at the Factory Theatre in Chicago, adapted and directed by Sean Abley. In 2006 a second theatrical production premiered at the Maverick Theater in Fullerton, California, this version was adapted by Brian Newell and Nick McGee. The Maverick's production has become a comedic success, a local tradition and performed every holiday season there since 2006, with the next production to be performed in December 2010.
Brazilian comedy group Hermes & Renato spoofed the film in their MTV program Tela Class, redubbing it as "Santa Claus e o pozinho mágico" (Santa Claus and the Magic Powder; "magic powder" being more loosely translated here as "angel dust"). In this version, Santa is a drug dealer.
- "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians Slime Line DVD". Apprehensive Films. Retrieved 19 July 2010.
- Mareth, Glenville (March 1966), Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (comic bookDell Comics), New York, NY:
- Chaplin, Paul; et al. (May 1996). "Season 3". The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Amazing Colossal Episode Guide. Bantam Books. p. 59. ISBN 0-553-37783-3.
- "Season Three: 1991-1992". Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Unofficial Episode Guide. Satellite News. Retrieved 2007-11-05.
- "Mystery Science Theater 3000: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1991)". Internet Movie Database. Retrieved 2007-11-05.
- Harry, Lou (27 September 2005). Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (hardcoverISBN 978-1-59609-163-4.) (1st edition ed.). New American Library.
- "Factory History". Factory Theater. Retrieved 2007-11-05.
- "Biography for Sean Abley". Internet Movie Database. Retrieved 2007-11-05.
- "Sean Abley: Writer/Director/Producer". Dark Blue Films. Archived from the original on 2007-10-15. Retrieved 2007-11-05.
- "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians". mavericktheater.com. The Maverick Theater. Fall 2007. Retrieved 2007-11-05.
|Wikimedia Commons has media related to: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians|
- Santa Claus Conquers the Martians at the Internet Movie Database
- Santa Claus Conquers the Martians at AllRovi
- Santa Claus Conquers the Martians at Rotten Tomatoes
- Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is available for free download at the Internet Archive [more]
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