Screwed the Pooch

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"Screwed the Pooch"
Family Guy episode
Episode no. Season 3
Episode 13
Directed by Pete Michels
Written by Dave Collard and Ken Goin
Production code 3ACX08
Original air date November 29, 2001
Guest actors
Episode chronology
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"Screwed the Pooch" is the 41st episode of Family Guy. The episode first aired on November 29, 2001 in the United States, and follows the Griffins on their visit to Lois' parents' house, the Pewterschmidts. During the visit, Brian has sexual intercourse with the Pewterschmidt's dog Sea-Breeze, and when she becomes pregnant, Carter Pewterschmidt refuses to allow Brian to see her again. Brian then decides to sue Carter for custody of the puppies.[1] Bob Barker, formerly the host of The Price is Right, has a cameo in the episode as himself.[2][3]

The episode was written by Dave Collard and Ken Goin, and was directed by Pete Michels.[3]


The Griffin family plans to visit Lois' wealthy parents, much to Peter's chagrin, as his father-in-law Carter Pewterschmidt intensely dislikes him. Meanwhile, Brian's sex drive seems unusually strong lately, causing him to feel stressed out, especially after sniffing the rear-end of an attractive dog at the park. Peter and Lois are oblivious to Brian's state until they walk in on him masturbating in the bathroom. Lois insists it's perfectly natural, and suggests Brian take time off and accompany the family on their road trip. Though he initially declines, Brian joins the Griffins after he learns that if he stays a show entitled "World's Sluttiest Dogs" will play.

After arriving, Brian is introduced to Carter's greyhound, Sea-Breeze, who Brian finds attractive. Peter joins an annoyed Carter in a poker match, and helps him win CNN from Ted Turner, thus earning the respect of his father-in-law. Later, Carter and Peter, along with Carter's other poker buddies, Michael Eisner and Bill Gates go out smashing mailboxes to have some "extra fun." At a fun evening's end, Carter proudly tells his wealthy friends Peter is " son-in-law" and confesses he's glad Peter married Lois.

Not long after, the cordiality between Peter and Carter is ruined when during a greyhound race involving Sea-Breeze, Brian suddenly lets his sex drive get the better of him and leaps onto the racetrack, runs to Sea-Breeze and engages her in sexual intercourse, causing her to lose. Sea-Breeze then ends up pregnant, and Brian is immediately blamed. Scolding that his relationship with Carter is ruined because of that, Peter swears to never speak with Brian again and goes to incredible lengths to ignore him, such as enclosing himself in a massive plastic bubble (which backfires when Peter farts, causing him to pass out from the stench). Determining to take responsibility, Brian offers to raise the puppies himself, but Carter disapproves, so Brian elopes with Sea-Breeze and they run away together in hopes to raise the puppies together.

With help from Eisner and Gates, Sea-Breeze and Brian are tracked down to a motel room they were hiding at. After the custody case soon after goes to court, Carter and his lawyers bring up sordid details of Brian's past and personality to destroy his chances of gaining custody, even going as far as to accuse him of using other people as scapegoats for triggering the aforementioned incidents. Just as it appears that Brian may lose, Peter lets go of his hatred towards him and insists that Brian would be a good father (presumably out of revenge against Carter for years of abuse he inflicted on him), and he proves it by having Brian demonstrating his extensive knowledge of the Griffin children. The judge is convinced Brian would make a good father, and awards him custody, but insists that Brian must be neutered in order to prevent another similar incident from happening and setting a bad example for his offspring.

Just as Brian was about to go under the knife, he, Lois, and Peter discover that when the puppies are born, they do not resemble Brian; but instead, they resemble Ted Turner. Furious and mortified, Carter calls Sea-Breeze a whore and forsakes her on the spot after realizing a vengeful Turner had impregnated Sea-Breeze after he lost both the poker match and CNN. Brian, realizing that he isn't the father, opts out of his surgery (but admits to Lois and Peter that he was actually kind of looking forward to being a father), and the three leave to go home. Peter ends the episode by confessing that he thought dogs laid eggs.[1][4]


  1. ^ a b "Family Guy: Screwed the Pooch". Moviefone. Retrieved 2009-11-01. 
  2. ^ S. Callaghan, “Screwed the Pooch.” Family Guy: The Official Episode Guide Seasons 1–3. New York: HarperCollins, 2005. 152–155.
  3. ^ a b "Family Guy Screwed the Pooch (2001)". IMDb. Retrieved 2009-11-01. 
  4. ^ "Family Guy: Screwed the Pooch — Episode Guide". TBS. Retrieved 2009-11-01. 

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