The Serenity Prayer is the common name for a prayer authored by the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr (1892–1971). It has been adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous and other twelve-step programs. The best-known form is:
- God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
- The courage to change the things I can,
- And the wisdom to know the difference.
Though clearly circulating in oral form earlier, the earliest established date for a written form of the prayer is various versions printed in newspaper articles in the early 1930s by or reporting on talks given by Winnifred Crane Wygal, a pupil and collaborator of Niebuhr's. Wygal included the following version of the prayer in her 1940 book, We Plan Our Own Worship Services, attributing it to Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971):
- O God, give us the serenity to accept what cannot be changed,
- The courage to change what can be changed,
- and the wisdom to know the one from the other
Various other authors cited Niebuhr as the source of the prayer from 1937 on. Niebuhr included the prayer in a sermon at least as early as 1943, followed closely by its inclusion in a Federal Council of Churches (FCC) book for army chaplains and servicemen in 1944. Niebuhr himself did not publish the Serenity Prayer until 1951, in one of his magazine columns, although it had previously appeared under his name. The prayer is cited both by Niebuhr and by Niebuhr's daughter, Elisabeth Sifton. Sifton thought that he had first written it in 1943, although Niebuhr's wife wrote in an unpublished memorandum that it had been written in 1941 or '42, adding that it may have been used in prayers as early as 1934. Niebuhr himself was quoted in the January 1950 Grapevine as saying the prayer "may have been spooking around for years, even centuries, but I don't think so. I honestly do believe that I wrote it myself." In his book Niebuhr recalls that his prayer was circulated by the FCC and later by the United States armed forces. Niebuhr's versions of the prayer were always printed as a single prose sentence; printings that set out the prayer as three lines of verse modify the author's original version.
- God, give me grace to accept with serenity
- the things that cannot be changed,
- Courage to change the things
- which should be changed,
- and the Wisdom to distinguish
- the one from the other.
- Living one day at a time,
- Enjoying one moment at a time,
- Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
- Taking, as Jesus did,
- This sinful world as it is,
- Not as I would have it,
- Trusting that You will make all things right,
- If I surrender to Your will,
- So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
- And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
An approximate version (apparently quoted from memory) appears in the "Queries and Answers" column in The New York Times Book Review, July 2, 1950, p. 23, which asks for the author of the quotation; and a reply in the same column in the issue for August 13, 1950, p. 19, where the quotation is attributed to Niebuhr and an unidentified printed text is quoted as follows:
- O God and Heavenly Father,
- Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed; courage to change that which can be changed, and wisdom to know the one from the other, through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.
Use by Alcoholics Anonymous
The prayer became more widely known after being brought to the attention of Alcoholics Anonymous in 1941 by an early member. The co-founder, William Griffith Wilson, and the staff liked the prayer and had it printed out in modified form and handed around. It has been part of Alcoholics Anonymous ever since, and has also been used in other twelve-step programs. Grapevine, The International Journal of Alcoholics Anonymous, identified Niebuhr as the author (January 1950, pp. 6–7), and the AA web site continues to identify Niebuhr as the author.
In 2008 and 2014, Yale Book of Quotations editor Fred R. Shapiro published evidence showing that versions of the Serenity Prayer were in use as early as 1933; though usually not explicitly attributed to Niebuhr, the articles were either by, or reference talks by, Niebuhr's student and close collaborator Winnifred Crane Wygal, who included an early version of the prayer in a 1932 diary and attributed this to Niebuhr. All early recorded usages, in its various forms of circulation and improvisation, were from women typically involved in volunteer or educational activities connected to the YWCA; Wygal was a longtime YWCA official. In 2009, Duke researcher Stephen Goranson found a variant attributed to Niebuhr in a 1937 Christian student publication:
"Father, give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what cannot be helped, and the insight to know the one from the other."
This form, requesting 'courage to change' before petitioning for serenity, matches the other earliest published forms found to date. The earliest, in 1936, mentions that during a speech, a Miss Mildred Pinkerton "quotes the prayer," as if to indicate it was already in a circulation known to the reporter, or that Pinkerton relayed it as a quote. The 1938 version contains the same order, albeit in a flowing, slightly improvised fashion. Shapiro will list the Serenity Prayer under Niebuhr’s name in the next edition of the Yale Book of Quotations.
Epictetus wrote: "Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens. Some things are up to us [eph' hêmin] and some things are not up to us. Our opinions are up to us, and our impulses, desires, aversions-in short, whatever is our own doing. Our bodies are not up to us, nor are our possessions, our reputations, or our public offices, or, that is, whatever is not our own doing."
- If there’s a remedy when trouble strikes,
- What reason is there for dejection?
- And if there is no help for it,
- What use is there in being glum?
The 11th century Jewish philosopher Solomon ibn Gabirol wrote "And they said: At the head of all understanding – is realizing what is and what cannot be, and the consoling of what is not in our power to change."
- For every ailment under the sun
- There is a remedy, or there is none;
- If there be one, try to find it;
- If there be none, never mind it.
Friedrich Schiller advocated the first part in 1801:
- „Wohl dem Menschen, wenn er gelernt hat, zu ertragen, was er nicht ändern kann, und preiszugeben mit Würde, was er nicht retten kann," or "Blessed is he, who has learned to bear what he cannot change, and to give up with dignity, what he cannot save."
The prayer has been variously but incorrectly attributed to, among others, Thomas Aquinas, Cicero, Augustine, Boethius, Marcus Aurelius, Francis of Assisi, Thomas More, and Friedrich Christoph Oetinger.
The attribution to Friedrich Christoph Oetinger comes from a plagiarism of the prayer by Theodor Wilhelm, a professor of education at the University of Kiel. Wilhelm published a German version of the prayer in his Wendepunkt der poltitischen Erziehung (1951) under the pseudonym "Friedrich Oetinger". This version of the prayer and the attribution to the 18th-century philosopher Oetinger became popular in West Germany.
- The prayer is used in a cancer support group meeting in the novel and movie The Fault In Our Stars by John Green
- The prayer is referenced twice in Kurt Vonnegut's novel, Slaughterhouse-Five. The prayer is seen on the wall at Billy Pilgrim's optometry office and is also inscribed on a locket worn by Montana Wildhack.
- The prayer is repeated in Episode 7 of The Wire.
- The prayer is recited by Marcia Cross' character, Bree, in Episode 20 of the second season of Desperate Housewives, and works as part of the reflections of her omniscient dead friend Mary Alice; who concludes that while God does listen, often he'll simply answer no.
- The prayer is recited by Mr. Brooks at the opening and ending scene of the homonym 2007 movie, where Kevin Costner plays a seria killer with double personality, Mr. Brooks, who doesn't like to kill, and Marshall (William Hurt), who he blames for te killing.
- The prayer appears in episode 12 of season 3 of the U.S. TV series House of Cards
- The text has been set to music by James MacMillan and Stratovarius.
- The text is used as the first lines of the song 'Feel so different' by Sinéad O'Connor
- The prayer is in the song Kings Of Suburbia, by Tokio Hotel
The serenity prayer was adapted for group settings in the recovery networks, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), as well as Narcotics Anonymous (NA). The original text for this adapted prayer was: "Father, give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what cannot be helped, and the insight to know the one from the other." A slightly different version of the prayer has been adopted by 12 Step Groups: "God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference." 
- Fred R. Shapiro, "Who Wrote the Serenity Prayer?", The Chronicle Review April 28, 2014
- See, e.g., Justin Kaplan, ed., Bartlett's Familiar Quotations 735 (17th ed. 2002) (attributing the prayer to Niebuhr in 1943)
- Fred R. Shapiro, Who Wrote the Serenity Prayer, Yale Alumni Magazine (July/August 2008).
- The Essential Reinhold Niebuhr: Selected Essays and Addresses, Reinhold Niebuhr, edited by Robert McAfee Brown, page 251, Yale University Press; New Ed edition (September 10, 1987)
- The Serenity Prayer: Faith and Politics in Times of Peace and War, Elisabeth Sifton, page 277, W. W. Norton & Company (January 30, 2005)
- The Grapevine. "The Serenity Prayer", The International Journal of Alcoholics Anonymous, January 1950.
- The Origin of our Serenity Prayer, AA History & Trivia (visited July 14, 2008).
- "The Serenity Prayer, by Reinhold Niebuhr. Complete, Unabridged, Original Version. God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed ... , Inspirational, Motivational, Spiritual, Religious Prose, Poems, Prayers. Inspiration, Spirituality and Alternative Healing Articles, Alternative Medicine, Health, Internet Resources, SKDesigns". Skdesigns.com. Retrieved 2013-03-14.
- "Stalking the Wild Serenity Prayer", Appendix B in: Wing, Nell. Grateful to Have Been There: My 42 Years with Bill and Lois, and the Evolution of Alcoholics Anonymous. p. 167. ISBN 1-56838-064-X.
- The Serenity Meme, Language Log (visited July 14, 2008) (contrasting various early versions of the Serenity Prayer).
- Fred R. Shapiro, New Evidence, Yale Alumni Magazine (July/August 2008).
- Fred R. Shapiro, You Can Quote Them, Yale Alumni Magazine (January/February 2010).
- Epictetus (1983) Handbook of Epictetus. Trans. Nicholas White. Indianapolis: Hackett. Section 1.1
- Shantideva, Padmakara Translation Group, "The Way of the Bodhisattva", p. 130, Shambhala Publications, (October 14, 2008)
- 'Choice of Emeralds' (Chapter 17 'Consciousness' 2nd verse)
- W.W. Bartley, The Retreat to Commitment, p. 35, Open Court Publishing Company; New Ed edition (April 1990) (first edition 1962)
- Schiller, Über das Erhabene (Essay)
- Zaleski, Philip and Carol, Prayer: A History, p. 127, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2006
- "Alexander Dubcek – Introduzione". Almapress.unibo.it. Retrieved 2013-03-14.
- "The Full Serenity Prayer & Its Meaning", SubstanceAbuseCounselor.us.
- Sifton, p. 343ff
- "10 Reasons the Serenity Prayer Helps in Recovery". Macomb Miracles, Newsletter of the Macomb County Area of Narcotics Anonymous 13 (13). February 2013. Retrieved 2014-08-04.
- NA White Booklet, Narcotics Anonymous, 1976
|Wikiquote has quotations related to: Serenity Prayer|
"Transcending and Transforming the World," in Niebuhr, Reinhold (1927). Does Civilization Need Religion? A Study in the Social Resources and Limitations of Religion in Modern Life. See especially pages 179–81. https://archive.org/details/MN40125ucmf_6
- The Essential Reinhold Niebuhr: Selected Essays and Addresses, editor: Robert McAfee Brown 
- The Serenity Prayer: Faith and Politics in Times of Peace and War, Elisabeth Sifton, 
- The Serenity Prayer: Faith in Times of Peace and War, National Public Radio interview with Elisabeth Sifton (20 mins) January 14, 2005. 
- Archives of Grapevine: 
- Full documentation (in German) of false claims of authorship
- The Serenity Prayer origin at Alcoholics Anonymous; same text also at The Origin of our Serenity Prayer at Alcoholics Anonymous