Sexual surrogate

A sexual surrogate is a member of a sex therapy team who engages in intimate physical relations or sex with a patient in order to achieve a therapeutic goal. The practice was introduced by Masters and Johnson with their work on Human Sexual Inadequacy in 1970.

Most surrogates are women, a few are men, and there are married couples that practice surrogacy together. Some surrogates work at counseling centers while others have their own office. Some surrogates offer additional services besides surrogacy such as telephone counseling or sexological bodywork.

The majority of surrogates have professional certification in the fields of sexuality, psychology or counseling. This allows them to work closely with psychiatrists, psychologists, sexologists and other therapists in the best interests of the patient. Sex surrogates use a combination of three techniques — talking, listening and demonstration — to help resolve a patient's sexual problems.

Typical problems

Patients frequently present these specific problems:

1. Trouble with intimacy
2. Lack of confidence
3. Communication problems
4. Dating anxiety
5. Sexual inhibitions
6. Erectile dysfunction
7. Premature ejaculation
8. Diseases that cause painful intercourse.
9. Love-shyness

Acquired disability

There are people who have experienced a change in sexual lifestyle due to an acquired disability (accident, paralysis, disease, trauma), and a surrogate can help them explore and develop sexual potential. The causes of sexual dysfunction are numerous and the methods a surrogate might use to help improve sexual function are varied.

Communication

Since many sexual problems are psychological rather than physical, communication plays a key role in the therapeutic process between a patient and the sex surrogate, as well as between the surrogate and the therapist.

Therapeutic exercises

Surrogates offer therapeutic exercises to help the patient. These may include relaxation techniques, intimate communication, teaching social skills, and some sexual touching. Sex surrogate and tantra sex educator Mare Simone says that physical intimacy is a rare occurrence between her and her patients, and she will not engage in intercourse with those in committed relationships.

Social criticism of the sexual surrogate practice

Even though widespread, the practice of sexual surrogate is coming under criticism, as the practice is being perceived by some feminist organizations as just another form of prostitution.

Documentary

The 1985 documentary Private Practices: The Story of a Sex Surrogate explored the relationship between a sex surrogate, her clients, and her clients' therapists.

The National Geographic Show "Taboo" episode 'Forbidden Love' featured a professional sex surrogate in one of its segments.

In popular culture

The TV show Boston Legal featured a sex surrogate named Joanna Monroe (played by Jane Lynch) as a recurring character. The show explored her professional relationship with two of the main cast, their sexual problems, and how a surrogate can approach treatment. The show further drew attention to the legal and personal problems that can face those who offer sex surrogacy services.

References

• IPSA — International Professional Surrogates Association
• Sex Surrogates: A Clarification of Their Functions Raymond J. Noonan, Ph.D, SexQuest/The Sex Institute, NYC. Master's thesis for New York University, February 1984.
• On Seeing a Sex Surrogate Mark O'Brien, The Sun, 1990. Experiences of a disabled patient of a sex surrogate.
• Private Practices: The Story of a Sex Surrogate at the Internet Movie Database