Sexaholics Anonymous

Not to be confused with Sex Addicts Anonymous or Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) is one of several twelve-step programs for compulsive sexual acting-out based on the original Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. SA takes its place among various 12-step groups that seek recovery from sexual addiction: Sex Addicts Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Sexual Compulsives Anonymous and Sexual Recovery Anonymous. Collectively these groups are referred to as "S" groups since all their acronyms begin with that letter: SA, SAA, SLAA, SCA, SRA.

SA helps recovering "sexaholics." According to the group, a sexaholic is someone for whom "lust has become an addiction." Thus SA distinguishes itself from other S groups by defining sexual sobriety as no sex with self or with partners other than with one's spouse and a progressive victory over lust.

"In defining sobriety, we do not speak for those outside Sexaholics Anonymous. We can only speak for ourselves. Thus, for the married sexaholic, sexual sobriety means having no form of sex with self or with persons other than the spouse. For the unmarried sexaholic, sexual sobriety means freedom from sex of any kind. And for all of us, single and married alike, sexual sobriety also includes progressive victory over lust".

The group uses the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and the book "Sexaholics Anonymous" (often referred to as "The White Book") as a guide. The White Book explains that "the sexaholic has taken himself or herself out of the whole context of what is right or wrong. He or she has lost control, no longer has the power of choice, and is not free to stop."

History

Sexaholics Anonymous was founded by Roy Kuljian (known as Roy K.) SA received permission from AA to use its Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions in 1979.

On July 9, 1999 in Cleveland the SA leadership unanimously voted (9-0) to clarify the definition of "spouse" to be "one's partner in a marriage between a man and a woman." This is known as the Cleveland Clarification. Many current members of SA believe the Cleveland Clarification is untenable given the rapidly changing landscape of legal same-sex marriage. The alternative argument is that the legal status of same-sex marriage is an outside issue in the same way that laws concerning alcohol are an outside issue in Alcoholics Anonymous. SA members also seek to stop lusting, masturbating, adultery, and viewing pornography, all of which are legal in most jurisdictions. Many current SA members believe the Cleveland Clarification is a form of discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. Prior to the adoption of the Cleveland Clarification, when the Fellowship was polled on the question of whether or not the sobriety definition needed clarification, 59% of the respondents said no clarification was needed, and another 7% abstained or had no opinion. Only about one third of the respondents said the definition needed clarification. The majority saw it was an outside issue^{[citation needed]} .

Agitation on the issue continued due to a perception that the ambiguous nature of the survey questions rendered the results meaningless. The Chair of the SA Delegates Assembly summed up this ambiguity: "I received conflicting opinions about the meaning of the January 1999 vote that we do not need to clarify the SA sobriety definition. Many (probably most) were convinced this vote meant that we are already clear on the meaning of traditional SA sobriety and no further clarification is needed. Others were equally convinced this vote meant that "spouse" and "marriage" could be interpreted as understood by each member. Some were convinced that SA is afraid to "say what it means and mean what it says"

The general acceptance of the Cleveland Clarification by the SA fellowship is evidenced by the lack of any groundswell of opposition by SA groups, Intergroups or Regions. SA’s governing principles as contained in the 12 Traditions and 12 Concepts allow for the Cleveland Clarification to be overturned by the membership. There has been no substantive attempt to revoke the Cleveland Clarification. The SA Delegates Assembly and Board of Trustees have subsequently approved the inclusion of the Cleveland Clarification in the SA main text, Sexaholics Anonymous and the SA to the Newcomer brochure.

SA has attracted a subsection of the same-sex attracted population who seek not to act sexually on such attractions. At the July 2007 SA International Convention a survey was conducted of 176 SA members. Asked the object of their sexual fantasy and acting out, 23% nominated same-sex and a further 7% indicated both genders. Topic meetings on same-sex issues are held at SA International Conferences and personal stories of same–sex recovery appear in Essay, the official SA quarterly publication.

Roy Kuljian, the founder of SA, died from cancer on the afternoon of September 15, 2009. He had been sexually sober since January 31, 1976.

Literature

SA fully accepts and unabashedly encourages all AA General Conference-approved literature for use in SA meetings. Some SA groups will refer to AA literature more often than to their own SA texts. SA seeks to be somewhat of a replica of AA, applying all of AA's principles to lust and sexual addiction. In this sense, SA differentiates itself from other S-groups in having a more AA-style type of sobriety and view of relapses and thus the strictest kind of sobriety definition.

The official list of fellowship-approved literature is available here.

Books

• Sexaholics Anonymous (the "White Book") (also available on CD)
• Recovery Continues (also available on CD)
• Best of Essay, Practical Recovery Tools, 1994–2003
• Step into Action: One, Two, Three
• Step into Action: Four, Five, Six, Seven
• Step Into Action: Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, and Twelve
• Member Stories 1989
• Member Stories 2007
• SA Service Manual

Booklets

• Best of Essay volume 1, Member Stories (2001)
• Best of Essay volume 2, Practical Recovery Tools (2001)
• Discovering the Principles
• Beginnings... Notes on the Early Growth and Origin of SA

Pamphlets

• SA Brochure
• SA to the Newcomer
• Why Stop Lusting?
• SA as a Resource for the Health & Helping Professional
• First Step Inventory
• Practical Guidelines for Group Recovery
• The SA Correctional Facilities Committee
• Do You Have a Problem with Pornography or Lust on the Internet?

Proponents

Because SA's sobriety definition has clear roots in Western and Eastern morality, the movement has a great appeal to Christians, that is, Protestants, Eastern Orthodox, Roman Catholics, religious Jews, as well as Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, and other mainstream religions. The New Testament gospels record Jesus Christ as teaching that lust is a sin "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to desire her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.", and numerous verses in the Bible clearly forbid extramarital, adulterous and promiscuous sex. The Noble Eightfold Path taught by Buddha, prohibits sexual misconduct.

Criticism

A psychologist involved in sexual addiction treatment, Patrick Carnes, encourages self-defined sobriety in his writings, saying that a no-masturbation definition of sobriety is only appropriate for some sex addicts and that bottom lines can in fact be modified over time. Joe Kort criticizes SA for its pro-heterosexual marriage stance.

The book Lust Virus, by Ron J. (aka Roy K.), though not SA literature, unwittingly provides a perceptive rationale for SA's concept of sobriety and emphasis on lust recovery by showing how today’s orientation quandary is tied in with the "new lust" and evolving cultural forces shaping all our sexualities.

In their adherence to the 12 Traditions adapted from AA, other S groups do not offer an opinion on SA, or indeed on "any outside enterprise." Other S Groups also tend to base their own programs squarely on AA's disease-concept; for example, they forego use of the term "lust" in describing sex addiction just as AA forgoes use of the terms "intemperance" and "gluttony" to describe alcoholism. SAA and SCA use slight modifications of the widely accepted term "compulsive sexual behavior" in use by the medical and psychology establishments.

Some sexologists encourage the use of pornography and masturbation in order to explore and express one's own sexuality.

See also

• Hypersexuality
• List of twelve-step groups
• Sex Addicts Anonymous
• Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
• Sexual Compulsives Anonymous

External links

• Sexaholics Anonymous
• SA Phone Meeting
• Sexaholics Anonymous (Australian site)
• Sexaholics Anonymous (Polish site)
• SA Online Yahoo Groups
• S-Anon, for families & friends of sexaholics
• Same-sex Lust Recovery in Sexaholics Anonymous

• Works by or about Sexaholics Anonymous in libraries (WorldCat catalog)