Sexaholics Anonymous

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Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) is one of many twelve-step programs based on the original Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. SA takes its place among various 12-step groups that seek recovery from sexual addiction: Sex Addicts Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Sexual Compulsives Anonymous and Sexual Recovery Anonymous. Collectively these groups are referred to as "S" groups since all their acronyms begin with that letter: SA, SAA, SLAA, SCA, SRA.

SA helps recovering "sexaholics." According to the group, a sexaholic is someone for whom "lust has become an addiction." Thus SA distinguishes itself from other S groups by defining sexual sobriety as no sex with self or with partners other than with one's partner in a marriage between a man and a woman.

"In defining sobriety, we do not speak for those outside Sexaholics Anonymous. We can only speak for ourselves. Thus, for the married sexaholic, sexual sobriety means having no form of sex with self or with persons other than the spouse. For the unmarried sexaholic, sexual sobriety means freedom from sex of any kind. And for all of us, single and married alike, sexual sobriety also includes progressive victory over lust. In SA’s sobriety definition, the term “spouse” refers to one’s partner in a marriage between a man and a woman."^[1]

The group uses the book "Sexaholics Anonymous" (often referred to as "The White Book") as a guide. The book explains that "the sexaholic has taken himself or herself out of the whole context of what is right or wrong. He or she has lost control, no longer has the power of choice, and is not free to stop."

Contents 1 History 2 Literature 2.1 Books 2.2 Booklets 2.3 Pamphlets 3 Proponents 4 Criticism 5 See also 6 Footnotes 7 External links

[edit] History

Sexaholics Anonymous sprang from the Alcoholics Anonymous Program, and was founded by Roy K. SA received permission from AA to use its Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions in 1979.^{[citation needed]}

On July 9, 1999 in Cleveland the SA leadership unanimously voted (9-0) to clarify the definition of "spouse" to be "one's partner in a marriage between a man and a woman."^[2] This is known as the Cleveland Clarification. However, homosexual sexaholics aren't excluded from participation in SA and some homosexual SA groups have been formed under the traditional AA name of "Live and Let Live."

Roy K., the founder of SA, died from cancer on the afternoon of September 15th, 2009.^{[citation needed]} He had been sexually sober since January 31st, 1976.^[3]

[edit] Literature

Unlike SLAA, which considers the AA Big Book as containing some outdated ideas and old-fashioned concepts^[4], SA fully accepts and unabashedly encourages all AA General Conference-approved literature for use in SA meetings. Some SA groups will refer to AA literature more often than to their own SA texts. SA seeks to be somewhat of a replica of AA, applying all of AA's principles to lust and sexual addiction. In this sense, SA differentiates itself from other S-groups in having a more AA-style type of sobriety and view of relapses and thus the strictest kind of sobriety definition^[5].

The official list of fellowship-approved literature is available here.

[edit] Books

• Sexaholics Anonymous (the "White Book") (also available on CD)
• Recovery Continues (also available on CD)
• Best of Essay, Practical Recovery Tools, 1994-2003
• Step into Action: One, Two, Three
• Step into Action: Four, Five, Six, Seven
• Step Into Action: Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, and Twelve
• Member Stories 1989
• Member Stories 2007
• SA Service Manual

[edit] Booklets

• Best of Essay volume 1, Member Stories (2001)
• Best of Essay volume 2, Practical Recovery Tools (2001)
• Discovering the Principles
• Beginnings... Notes on the Early Growth and Origin of SA

[edit] Pamphlets

• SA Brochure
• SA to the Newcomer
• Why Stop Lusting?
• SA as a Resource for the Health & Helping Professional
• First Step Inventory
• Practical Guidelines for Group Recovery
• The SA Correctional Facilities Committee

[edit] Proponents

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Because SA's sobriety definition has clear roots in Western and Eastern morality, the movement has a great appeal to Christians, Eastern Orthodox, Roman Catholics^[6] religious Jews, as well as Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, and other mainstream religions. The New Testament gospels record Jesus Christ as teaching that lust is a sin^[7] (being the mental equivalent of physical adultery), and numerous verses in the Bible clearly forbid extramarital, adulterous and promiscuous sex. The Noble Eightfold Path taught by Buddha, prohibits sexual misconduct.^[8]

The majority of SA members tend to be men since female sex addicts typically struggle with relational and sexual addictions simultaneously and often gravitate more towards Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.^{[citation needed]} Additionally, there is a greater cultural stigma placed on female sexual addicts than their male counterparts. Some heterosexual SA members^[who?] obviously find it easier to be in a group with a smaller concentration of the opposite gender, since therein lies the object of their sexual addiction.^{[citation needed]}

Some^[who?] SA members appreciate SA's strict sobriety definition because it helps to avoid a self-defined sobriety that is too permissive. As with members of other S fellowships some SA members add additional behaviors to their "bottom lines" such as voyeurism, exhibitionism, viewing pornography, unsurrendered fantasy and objectification of others in an attempt to achieve "progressive victory over lust."^{[citation needed]}

Many regular SA meetings have evolved into place of safety and encouragement, where members continue to attend for years while gaining progressive victory over lust, and achieving long-term sobriety.^{[citation needed]} Anyone can attend SA as long as they declare their desire to be free from lust and to be sexually sober - oftentimes the patience of the group and unconditional acceptance of each other's progress (not perfection) serve as a stepping stone for those on the path to recovery.^{[citation needed]}

[edit] Criticism

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Some^[who?] authors and psychologists who deal with sexual addiction feel that SA's sobriety definition is too restrictive, or that its definition, while well-meaning, errs in favor of traditional cultural and religious mores and misses many who act out with their spouse within their marriages. A leading psychologist involved in sexual addiction treatment, Patrick Carnes, clearly encourages self-defined sobriety in his writings, saying that a no-masturbation definition of sobriety is only appropriate for some sex addicts and that bottom lines can in fact be modified over time^[9]. Joe Kort criticizes SA for its pro-heterosexual marriage stance^[10].

The book Lust Virus, by Ron J. (aka Roy K.), though not SA literature, unwittingly provides a perceptive rationale for SA's concept of sobriety and emphasis on lust recovery by showing how today’s orientation quandary is tied in with the "new lust" and evolving cultural forces shaping all our sexualities.

In their adherence to the 12 Traditions adapted from AA, other S groups do not offer an opinion on SA, or indeed on "any outside enterprise." Other S Groups also tend to base their own programs squarely on AA's disease-concept; for example, they forego use of the term "lust" in describing sex addiction just as AA forgoes use of the terms "intemperance" and "gluttony" to describe alcoholism. SAA and SCA use slight modifications^[11][12] of the widely accepted term "compulsive sexual behavior" in use by the medical and psychology establishments.^[13]

Modern sexologists^[14] sometimes encourage the use of pornography and masturbation in order to explore and express one's own sexuality. SA literature holds this to be contrary to their concept of sobriety.

Some regular SA meetings can devolve into "relapse culture" where members continue to attend for years without ever accumulating any long-term sobriety.^{[citation needed]} The issue is that anyone can attend SA as long as they claim to have a desire to be free from lust and be sexually sober (according to the 3rd tradition of SA) - yet there is usually no one in the group who claims to be able to judge the sincerity of this desire in another person, and relapses are tolerated whether constant or infrequent.^{[citation needed]}

Some members^[who?] consider the Cleveland Clarification a violation of Tradition 10 (which states "Sexaholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the SA name ought never be drawn into public controversy") and seek to overturn the decision to define the term spouse in the sobriety definition.^{[citation needed]}

[edit] See also

• List of twelve-step groups
• Sex Addicts Anonymous
• Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
• Sexual Compulsives Anonymous

[edit] Footnotes

[edit] External links

• Sexaholics Anonymous
• SA Phone Meeting
• Sexaholics Anonymous (Australian site)
• SA Online Yahoo Groups
• S-Anon, for families & friends of sexaholics
• Works by or about Sexaholics Anonymous in libraries (WorldCat catalog)