A Song for Europe (Father Ted)
|"A Song for Europe"|
|Father Ted episode|
|Episode no.||Series 2
|Directed by||Declan Lowney|
|Produced by||Lissa Evans|
|Featured music||The Divine Comedy|
|Cinematography by||Chris Owen|
|Original air date||5 April 1996|
|List of Father Ted episodes|
The episode begins when Dougal has "Eurosong fever", months ahead of the competition. After initially rejecting Dougal's suggestion that they write a song to represent Ireland in the competition on the grounds that they are not skilled in songwriting, Ted discovers his arch-nemesis Dick Byrne does have plans to enter a song. Ted decides that if Dick Byrne can write a song, he and Dougal can write a better one. After working all night, they come up with "My Lovely Horse", a tuneless dirge with ridiculous lyrics lasting less than a minute. After trying the song out on Mrs Doyle and Father Jack, Jack is so infuriated he actually shoots Ted's guitar. Disillusioned, they are about to give up when Ted discovers the lyrics fit a tune by "Nin Huguen and the Huguenotes", an obscure B-side for an entry from Norway's Eurosong preselection from the 1970s. Ted thought that because the whole band died in a plane crash, including all the record company staff and everyone involved in the copyright, they would get away with it.
At the Dublin theatre where "A Song For Ireland" is being hosted, Ted has some trouble talking to the Judge as he finds he is gay, which the Catholic Church is against. Ted and Dougal listen to Dick Byrne's entry, "The Miracle Is Mine". It is extremely impressive, with a full choir, huge band and a passionate performance from Byrne. Ted is worried and goes backstage for a smoke, where he hears the Norwegian tune first being whistled by a maintenance worker, then playing in a lift. He is horrified, realising that the song is well-known, and he and Dougal are forced to adopt "Plan B": singing the dreadful original version. In the original version, Ted even says near the end when changing chord for the only time during the song, "Hang on, I can do this bit", while Dougal uses what looks like an old Casio keyboard.
Despite their poor performance, and against the evident wishes of the audience, Irish Eurosong boss Charles Hedges awards "My Lovely Horse" first place. This is apparently because he wants to guarantee Ireland lose the main competition, since Ireland has won the contest every year from 1991 to 1995 and it is too expensive for Ireland to host the competition every year. (Ireland won the real Eurovision Song Contest in 1992, 1993 and 1994, and so had the costly obligation of hosting it in 1993, 1994 and 1995.) The episode closes at the Eurosong contest, with Ted, Dougal, Jack and Mrs. Doyle listening to every country awarding them "nul points".
Jack does not have a single line in this episode, though he does have a memorable moment when he reacts to the initial performance of "My Lovely Horse" by blasting Ted's guitar to pieces with a sawn-off shotgun.
Steve Coogan was intended to play compère Fred Rickwood, but couldn't make it so Irish comic Jon Kenny stepped in. Kenny had appeared in Father Ted previously, as Michael the cinema owner in "The Passion of St Tibulus".
The music in the episode is written and, in the case of "Nin Huguen and the Huguen Notes", performed by Neil Hannon who also wrote and recorded the title music. The band name is a clumsy pun on "Huguenots".
The scene in which Ted loses his temper at Dougal's failure to play the correct note is a reference to "The Troggs Tapes", a notorious out-take from a recording session by The Troggs. In the Father Ted script book, Graham Linehan notes that he initially wanted the scene to run longer, but that it was ultimately cut down to just long enough for people familiar with the out-take to get the reference.
Ted mentions that there was a priest named Father Benny Cake who scored a Number 1 hit single in England - after changing his name so nobody would know he was a priest - with a song titled "Vienna". This joke references Midge Ure of Ultravox.
A Song for Ireland 1996
- The entries for "Song for Ireland 1996" were: (only songs 1 & 2 are shown being performed; the names of 3 to 6 are seen on a sign)
- 1 "The Miracle is Mine" by Fr. Dick Byrne and Fr. Cyril McDuff
- 2 "My Lovely Horse" by Fr. Ted Crilly and Fr. Dougal McGuire (winner)
- 3 "If I Could Wear My Hat Like My Heart" by The Grand Girls
- 4 "You Dirty English Bastards" by The Hairy Bowsies
- 5 "The Drums of Africa Are Calling Me Home" by Sean O'Brien
- 6 "Sha la la la la la la la la la la la la" by Death Pigs
- The Hairy Bowsies are a real band featuring Paul Woodfull (aka Paul Wonderful), a comedian friend of Graham Linehan and Arthur Mathews. Their songs are traditional Irish ballads, with republican lyrics.
It has been widely claimed that this episode was inspired by real events surrounding Ireland's selection of its entry for the 1995 Eurovision Song Contest. Faced with the daunting (and financially crippling) task of hosting its third consecutive Eurovision, RTÉ were said to have chosen an inferior quality song (Eddie Friel's "Dreamin'", which finished 14th) over vastly superior ones in order to prevent the possibility of an unwanted fourth victory. The chosen song also became the centre of controversy when it was accused of being plagiarised from Julie Felix's 'Moonlight'.
A month after this episode was first broadcast, Ireland won the 1996 Eurovision Song Contest to secure the country's fourth victory in five years.
"My Lovely Horse"
According to the writer's commentary, the video for "My Lovely Horse" was based on a 1975 lifestyle video for "That's What Friends are For" by The Swarbriggs, which was Ireland's entry for the 1975 Eurovision Song Contest, which they consider the funniest music video of all time. Some of the shots are even copied down to every last detail. The song goes:
My lovely horse running through the field,
Where are you going with your fetlocks blowing in the wind?
I want to shower you with sugar lumps and ride you over fences,
Polish your hooves every single day and send you to the horse dentist.
My lovely horse, you're a pony no more,
Running around with a man on your back like a train in the night, like a train in the night.
- When Dougal plays the record, he puts the needle on and music plays, but it's clear the turntable is not moving.
Nil Points in various languages
The points by other people around the world. The following were the scores for the song My Lovely Horse. All these versions mean "Ireland, no points".
- Irlande, nil points. (French)
- Irlanda, nada. (Spanish)
- Irlandia, meethen vathmee.
- Irlande, keine Punkte. (German)
- Irska, bash badova.
- Irlandia, nurda proken.
- Irlande, nil punten. (Dutch)
- Irlinia, nurda purda.
- Irlenski, niet puntalete.