Sprockets (Saturday Night Live)
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Sprockets was a recurring, fictional West German television talk show sketch created by actor, writer and comedian Mike Myers with Canadian actor Dana Andersen for Second City Theatre. The show parodied German art culture in the 1980s.
German stereotypes, especially those pertaining to German seriousness, efficiency, and precision. Myers later ported the character to television for the Canadian sketch comedy show It's Only Rock & Roll and the American sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live.
Myers played "Dieter", a character based on a waiter Myers encountered in Toronto, a bored, disaffected West German expressionist and minimalist who would interview celebrities in whom he was demonstrably barely interested, and then invariably sought to bring the discussion around to his "limited" monkey, Klaus, seated on a platform atop a miniature column.
Appearing asexual or effeminate, and rotating his shoulders (he occasionally described becoming so excited that his genitals were sucked up into his body cavity), Myers' costume in the character of Dieter consisted of tight black leotards, black turtleneck sweater, round, wire-rimmed glasses, and slicked-back hair. The skit itself featured, most notably, a section entitled Germany's Most Disturbing Home Videos, which showcased scenes of old men's heads spinning around, dying cats, ants, and other disturbing sights.
Recurring and memorable quotes from the sketches include:
- "You have disturbed me almost to the point of insanity...There. I am insane now."
- "Touch my monkey!" and "Liebe meine Apschminki!" ("Love my monkey!"), a recurring reference to Dieter’s pet monkey, Klaus. Dieter told his guests that being allowed to touch Klaus was a privilege, but Klaus would often bite them when they tried to do so.
- "Your story (questions, setup) has become tiresome," whenever Dieter became - invariably - bored with a guest.
- "I am filled with anticipation (remorse), and it is most delicious."
- "Your presence intimidates me to the point of humiliation."
- "Now is ze time on Sprockets vhen ve dance!" This was always uttered frantically at the end of the sketch, after which several Sprockets crew members dressed identically to Dieter joined him onstage to dance jerkily to techno music.
Some later sketches featured Dieter outside of his talk show environment starring in parodies of game shows, TV dance parties, and art films.
List of SNL episodes featuring Dieter 
All appearances were in the form of Sprockets shows, except where indicated.
- April 15, 1989 host: Dolly Parton (featuring Ben Stiller as Butch Patrick)
- May 20, 1989 host: Steve Martin
- September 30, 1989 host: Bruce Willis (featuring Dana Carvey as James Stewart)
- November 18, 1989 host: Woody Harrelson (featuring Harrelson as filmmaker Graus Grek, giving his plans for his new "EuroTrash" theme park)
- December 16, 1989 (in "Dieter In Space") host: Andie MacDowell
- March 17, 1990 (in "Dieter's Dance Party") host: Rob Lowe
- September 29, 1990 (in "Germany's Most Disturbing Home Videos") (featuring Kyle MacLachlan as Karl-Heinz Shalke, the wacky neighbor in Munich TV's hit sit-com Who are you to accuse me?)
- December 15, 1990 host: Dennis Quaid
- April 13, 1991 host: Catherine O'Hara
- February 15, 1992 (in "Love Werks") host: Jason Priestley
- May 16, 1992 host: Woody Harrelson (featuring Harrelson as filmmaker Gregor Voss)
- March 20, 1992 (in "Dieter's Dream") host: Miranda Richardson
- November 20, 1993 (in "Das Ist Jeopardy!") host: Nicole Kidman
- March 22, 1997 (in "The Insane Academy Awards") host: Mike Myers
Proposed film adaptation 
The sketch was to be the basis for a film to be released in 2000, featuring Myers, David Hasselhoff, and Jack Black, but abandoned on May 30, 1999 after Mike Myers became dissatisfied with his own script. Less than a week after Myers informed Universal Studios of his decision, Universal sued Myers for their $3.8 million in pre-production costs.
- "Profiles of Mike Myers and Julia Roberts". CNN. 2002-08-03. Retrieved 2009-01-10.
- "Sprockets 1989-04-15". Saturday Night Live Transcripts. Retrieved 2009-01-10.
- "Sprockets 1989-09-30". Saturday Night Live Transcripts. Retrieved 2009-01-10.
- "Sprockets 1990-09-29". Saturday Night Live Transcripts. Retrieved 2009-01-10.
- "Sprockets 1992-05-16". Saturday Night Live Transcripts. Retrieved 2009-01-10.
- "A Done Dieter". Entertainment Weekly. 2000-06-16. Retrieved 2009-01-10.
- [dead link] (1999-08)
- http://articles.latimes.com/1999/oct/01/business/fi-17370 (1999-10-01)
- http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2000/jun/16/news.stevenspielberg (2000-06-16)
- http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,195070,00.html (2006-05-11)