Stan Helsing

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Stan Helsing
Stan helsing Movie Post.jpg
Directed by Bo Zenga
Produced by Scott Steindorff
Bo Zenga
Kirk Shaw
Written by Bo Zenga
Starring Steve Howey
Diora Baird
Kenan Thompson
Desi Lydic
Leslie Nielsen
Music by Ryan Shore
Production
  company
Stone Village Pictures
Distributed by Anchor Bay Entertainment[1]
Release date(s) October 23, 2009
Running time 81 min.
Country United States
Language English
Budget $14 million
Box office $11,014,125

Stan Helsing is a 2009 parody film, known in some parts of Asia as Scary Movie 5, in Italy as Horror Movie and in Germany as Mega Monster Movie. Like Scary Movie, it parodies horror films. Although it references many movies, TV shows, people and pop cultural events, it focuses mainly on the 2004 film Van Helsing.

Plot[edit]

Stan Helsing (Steve Howey) is an underachieving employee at a video rental store named Schlockbuster whose personal mottos are "Don't get involved" and "Don't talk about it". His teen-aged boss Sully orders him to drop off a bag of movies to the mother of the store's owner or risk not having a job Monday morning. Despite his arguments, he agrees to the request and manages to get his friend Teddy (Kenan Thompson), his ex-girlfriend Nadine (Diora Baird) and ditsy blond massage therapist Mia (Desi Lydic) to take him there before they attend a Halloween party, even though it's on the other side of town.

En route, the group encounters a traffic jam and, to Stan's surprise, he spots Chucky, the living doll (Jeff Gulka), who makes obscene gestures that no one else notices in the van of a MILF next to them. Because of this disturbance, they miss their exit and decide to take a shortcut on which they hit a dog named Sammy Boy and inadvertently asked the dog's owner for help who then threatens to kill them for murdering his beloved dog. After fleeing the scene, Teddy picks up a hitchhiker, but after learning he was convicted of murdering nurses they violently throw him from the moving vehicle. They come across a gas station where the perverted owners tell Stan that he may be related to the legendary Abraham Van Helsing, the monster hunter. They depart and after finding Stormy Night Estates, they discover the attendants never put gas into the car. They come across a local bar and meet the ire of the townsfolk in a bad attempt of Karaoke while singing Johnny Cash's song Ring of Fire.

After they leave, they discover that all the citizens, including their waitress, Kay (Leslie Nielsen), were actually dead due to a massive fire that consumed the town ten years earlier. They encounter several monsters including Pinhead, the hockey-masked killer Jason Voorhees, Chucky, Freddy Krueger, Leatherface, and a Jewish Michael Meyers. They are given weapons by an extroverted altar boy who is so very close to becoming a priest who informs Stan of his destiny and that he is Van Helsing's descendant, arming them with various weapons before kicking them out of his church. The townsfolk offer a competition in which Stan and his friends compete against the monsters in Karaoke. The humans are unanimously voted as the winners, but the monsters refuse to leave town. Disobeying his policy of never getting involved, Stan turns each of the monsters' weaknesses against them, soundly defeating them and feeding them to Sammy who had been brought back to vicious life (a'la Pet Sematary). The group calls a cab and they leave the town as heroes. During the trip home, Nadine discovers how much she cares for Stan and kisses him. Teddy suggest kissing Mia, but she rebuffs with a lap dance offer instead which he gladly accepts. The movie ends with the taxi cab driving away and the sound of moaning.

During the film many posters relating to Southern New Jersey are shown such as 'Visit Atlantic City' and 'Visit Palasades Park'. The town the videos are being delivered to is called Linwood (a real town in Southern New Jersey). Neighboring cities Ventnor and Margate are mentioned on a news broadcast towards the end of the movie.

Cast[edit]

Soundtrack[edit]

Although no soundtrack album was released the film includes songs by Pluto, The Saturday Knights, Davernoise and covers of songs by Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline and Village People.[2]

The music was composed by Ryan Shore.

Reception[edit]

Stan Helsing was panned by critics. It hold a rating of 17% "rotten" on Rotten Tomatoes.[3]

References[edit]

  1. ^ Anderson, John (October 23, 2009). "Stan Helsing: A Parody". Variety (Reed Business Information). Retrieved 2009-11-05. 
  2. ^ "Music from Stan Helsing". MusicfromFilm.com. Retrieved 2010-11-16. 
  3. ^ "Stan Helsing (2009)". Retrieved 31 July 2012. 

Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes song "I Don't Want to Go Home" is featured in the talent show scene. The song was written by Bruce Springsteen.

External links[edit]