Talk:Devasena/GA1

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Reviewer: ChrisGualtieri (talk · contribs) 04:21, 3 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]


Sorry for the delays. I just finished Kalmashapada. Will review this today, I got the other source on hand now. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 13:45, 6 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Seems DAB checker is down, External link checks are fine.

Some lead issues exist:
  • It is also spelled as Teyvanai or Tevayanai (Teyvāṉai). Please fix the prose.
Not clear. --Redtigerxyz Talk 06:15, 8 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Devasena is often described as the daughter of Indra, the king of the gods and is betrothed to Kartikeya by her father, when he becomes the commander-in-chief of the gods." Flow issues, Kartikeya should be linked, fix prose please.
Linked in para 1. Split. --Redtigerxyz Talk 06:15, 8 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "is many a times" - again prose.
Done. --Redtigerxyz Talk 06:15, 8 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Text body concerns
  • The epithet Devasenapati is a pun which also conveys his role as commander-in-chief of the gods. - explanation and reference please.
"Legends and textual references" para 2 explains it. --Redtigerxyz Talk 05:53, 8 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • In North India, Kartikeya is generally considered as celibate and unmarried. - Reference please.
Done. --Redtigerxyz Talk 05:53, 8 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The third Book" - Why is book capitalized.
[1] Some texts use "Book".--Redtigerxyz Talk 05:53, 8 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Devasena and Daityasena ("army of demons") are the daughters of Prajapati Daksha." I still think context is lacking here.
What context is needed here? A & B are daughters of C.--Redtigerxyz Talk 05:53, 8 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Once while the sisters are enjoying their leisure at" - prose
Done. --Redtigerxyz Talk 06:15, 8 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Sanskrit Skanda Purana" - missing some words?
"south-Indian manuscripts of the Sanskrit Skanda Purana " Manuscripts denotes that Skanda Purana is a text.--Redtigerxyz Talk 05:53, 8 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Thus as their husband, Kartikeya is regarded as the son-in-law of Vishnu." - prose
Done. --Redtigerxyz Talk 06:15, 8 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "An interpolation in the southern recensions of the scripture" - Is this really your own words and this seems to be original research without attribution if so.
Full story/para backed by Clothey pp. 83–84; Handelman pp. 44–45--Redtigerxyz Talk 06:15, 8 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Both the girls are fated to be married to the god. The elder sister Devasena is born as Amritavalli. She follows the path of traditional Hindu rituals and practices to gain her husband." Prose again. Also confusing.
  • "...arranged marriage following custom, after Kartikeya triumphs over the demons. " - Again confusing.
[2] See usage her. Following custom: as per the customs and traditions in Hindu culture.--Redtigerxyz Talk 06:15, 8 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • " Kanda Purana " no link?
(the Tamil version of the Sanskrit Skanda Purana) -> no article exists.--Redtigerxyz Talk 05:53, 8 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • " Meanwhile, Valli is born as Sundaravalli, is adopted by a tribal chieftain and grows up as a huntress. Murugan wins Valli's hand in a colourful way and takes her to Thiruttani." - prose and confusing. What "colourful way"?
Reworded. Redtigerxyz Talk 19:06, 3 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The god is worshipped at the site, flanked by Devasena on his left and Valli on his right." - Could be made clearer.
Done. Redtigerxyz Talk 19:06, 3 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "An ending in the texts describes the trio living in harmony in the abode of the gods." - Prose
Reworded. Redtigerxyz Talk 19:06, 3 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Yet another alternate ending" - prose.
Done. Redtigerxyz Talk 06:59, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "where his temple stands" - please no surprise links. Make the link target explicit.
Giving the link explicitly will spoil the flow of the sentence IMHO. Redtigerxyz Talk 19:06, 3 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In this version of the story," what story is this?
Reworded. Redtigerxyz Talk 19:06, 3 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Folk ecal tradition also talks" - Explain "ecal".
Ecal is folk poem, presented as a dialogue of two persons. Redtigerxyz Talk 06:59, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • ". In one version, where Devayanai and Valli are sisters, Valli the younger sister tries to woo Murugan, before Devayanai's marriage. As per tradition, the elder sister has to be married off fist." - Prose and typo.
Reworded. Redtigerxyz Talk 19:06, 3 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Iconography section could use specific examples.
Since she is a consort goddess, specific noteworthy examples will be absent. I could not trace any in the references I have.Redtigerxyz Talk 19:06, 3 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • More terms in Symbolism need explanation.
Can you please give specific examples?Redtigerxyz Talk 19:06, 3 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Any specific examples of worship practices that can be added to the worship section? This seems to be lacking.
None I encountered is specific to this subordinate goddess.Redtigerxyz Talk 19:06, 3 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry for the delay, but those are the issues I've found. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 15:18, 7 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

ChrisGualtieri, can you please strike the points addressed. Sorry for the delay in addressing the issues. Redtigerxyz Talk 19:06, 3 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
@ChrisGualtieri: Hi. Please let me know what needs to be done more here. Thanks. Redtigerxyz Talk 06:27, 5 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Still the issues really remain... nothing turned up on worship or services? I suppose it is satisfactory if there is really nothing left that you can find though... ChrisGualtieri (talk) 06:40, 5 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]
ChrisGualtieri, I have added a para of worship of subordinate worship. Redtigerxyz Talk 07:56, 6 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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