Talk:Vervet monkey/GA1
GA Review[edit]
| GA toolbox |
|---|
| Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: LittleJerry (talk · contribs) 03:01, 4 December 2012 (UTC) Things to do:
- The lead most be expanded so that it summarizes the entire article.
- •Started
- "The vervet monkey has a black face with a white fringe of hair, while the overall body color is mostly grizzled-grey" Don't you mean overall hair color?
- •Done
- "Introduced vervets also occur in Barbados, Saint Kitts, and Nevis. Dania Beach, Florida is also home to about 20 vervets." No need to use vervets twice. Replace one with "monkeys".
- •Done
- "Within each sex, there are dominance hierarchies." I think that it should be "there are separate dominance hierarchies for each sex."
- •Done
- "A large proportion of interaction occurs between individuals who are similarly ranked and closely related" Interaction should be plural.
- •Done
- "Once an individual is three years or older, that individual is considerably more likely to be involved in conflict." Bolded wording should be replaced with "it".
- •Done
- "This suggests the members within a group are actively monitoring the activity of other groups, including the movement of individuals within a group." "the" should be replaced with "that".
- •Done
- The mention of WildEarth.tv and the youtube link should be deleted.
- •Unsure about this, the links make reference to problems arising from cohabitation with humans. They are perceived as a nuisance.
- There should be mention of when the monkey mate and give birth.
- •Not yet started.
- "A juvenile scream will elicit a reaction from all mothers, yet the mother had a shorter latency in looking in the direction of the scream, as well as an increased duration in her look." This sentence is confusing. Which mother is the bold referring to?
- •Corrected
- "Contests primarily involved postweaning resource allocation by the common mother, specifically over grooming". This sentence is also confusing and needs to be rewritten. In particular "involve" should not be in past tense.
- •Done
- "While all group members participate in infant caretaking, juvenile females who cannot yet menstruate participate the majority of allomothering." The second "participate" should be replaced with "are responsible for".
- •Done
- "At the same time, allomothers gained experience..." Shouldn't be past tense.
- "Juvenile females discriminate in preference for the infant they choose to allomother, and will usually choose siblings or infants of high-ranking individuals." Another confusing sentence.
- •Done
- The first part of the "Diet" section needs a reference.
- •Done
- "Multiple organisations are involved in vervet monkey conservation even though its status according to the IUCN is 'Least concern'." Just list its status (with IUCN ref) the bold part is not needed.
- I think the "Conservation status" and "In ancient history" sections should be merged as they are both too short. Title the new section something like "Human interactions".
- •Done
- The reference section needs cleanup. Some page ranges have dashes instead of endashes and there are missing DOIs. I also would suggest you use citation templates.
- This article could also benefit from having the images in the gallery moved to the body.
Just a few notes: I think I have completed all of your recommendations. Information about the monkey mating and gestation time were mentioned in the behavior section under reproduction. I also have heard that they are perceived as a nuisance, but am having trouble finding a good source to get this information from. Finally, as for the DOIs, it is my understanding that they are only on articles published after 2000. Correct me if I'm wrong about this, but that is why I did not include them on various articles when editing the reference section. Katims90 (talk) 14:57, 11 December 2012 (UTC)
- Okay then. Passed. LittleJerry (talk) 04:44, 12 December 2012 (UTC)